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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Circus: Christmas is banned!
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
...Santa's still wearing the Coca-Cola outfit.
The National Trust has banned Christmas because...
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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macdonde
Apprentice
# 9062
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Posted
...Santa's reindeer constitute an introduction of a non-native species with a devastating impact on Britain's natural environment.
The Obama Administration Has Banned Christmas! Because...
[ 10. December 2009, 22:02: Message edited by: macdonde ]
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Amor Vincit Omnia
Posts: 38 | From: Ohio, USA | Registered: Feb 2005
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
They respect their leader's cultural heritage, no matter how far back they had to dig to find it.
My greengrocer has banned Christmas because...
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Loveheart
Blue-scarved menace
# 12249
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Posted
he is worried about piling on the pounds, and he isn't allowed to operate in pounds, only kilos!
Jedward have banned Christmas because...
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You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. Mahatma Gandhi
Posts: 3638 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2007
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
There can be only one star of the show, and it isn't either of them.
Simon Cowell has banned Christmas...
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Loveheart
Blue-scarved menace
# 12249
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Posted
because he isn't the centre of attention
Donald Trump has banned Christmas because...
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You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. Mahatma Gandhi
Posts: 3638 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2007
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Angel Wrestler
Ship's Hipster
# 13673
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Posted
getting out in the wind and snow messes up his comb-over.
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer has banned Christmas because
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The fact that no one understands you does not make you an artist.
(unknown)
Posts: 2767 | From: half-way up the ladder | Registered: May 2008
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Foaming Draught
The Low in Low Church
# 9134
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Posted
Two weeks of carols doesn't leave time to sing Shine Jesus Shine.
Kim Jong-il has banned Christmas because ....
FD
Posts: 8661 | From: Et in Australia Ego | Registered: Feb 2005
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Sylvander
Shipmate
# 12857
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Posted
...he does not mind his people going without food. But his hills denuded of trees are another matter.
The Irish have banned Christmas because ...
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A martyr is someone living with a saint.
2509
Posts: 1589 | From: Berlin | Registered: Jul 2007
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
...they are pouting because St. Patrick doesn't get to be Father Christmas.
Jerry Springer has banned Christmas because...
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Foaming Draught
The Low in Low Church
# 9134
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Posted
he thinks that the Heavenly Host is a competing trash TV compère.
Kermit the Frog has banned Christmas because ...
FD
Posts: 8661 | From: Et in Australia Ego | Registered: Feb 2005
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Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829
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Posted
It's not easy being green at Christmas!
The British Board of Film Censors have banned Christmas because...
AG
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"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869
Posts: 3574 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007
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Imaginary Friend
Real to you
# 186
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Posted
all those cheesy Christmas flicks are making them feel ill.
Bob Geldof has banned Christmas because...
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"We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass."
Brian Clough
Posts: 9455 | From: Left a bit... Right a bit... | Registered: May 2001
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Sylvander
Shipmate
# 12857
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Posted
... he resents not being the centre of attention for once.
The Police have banned Christmas because...
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A martyr is someone living with a saint.
2509
Posts: 1589 | From: Berlin | Registered: Jul 2007
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andythehat
Ship's Flying Monk
# 10399
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Posted
..because Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic!
(D'oh, groan...)
Silvio Berlusconi has banned Christmas because...
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Get your warm fuzzy feeling here!
Posts: 302 | From: Cambridge, but now Malmesbury, Wiltshire | Registered: Sep 2005
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Someone might throw a model crib at him.
Gordon Brown has banned Christmas because...
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
MP's have been putting the trees and decorations on expenses.
Bernie Ecclestone has banned Christmas because . . .
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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alienfromzog
Ship's Alien
# 5327
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Posted
He holds the worldwide franchise and no one has offered him enough money to be allowed to hold their own individual Christmas events.
Current prices start from £100,000 for a family of four going up to £1,000,000 for a large family gathering.
Jesus has banned Christmas because
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Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts.
[Sen. D.P.Moynihan]
An Alien's View of Earth - my blog (or vanity exercise...)
Posts: 2150 | From: Zog, obviously! Straight past Alpha Centauri, 2nd planet on the left... | Registered: Dec 2003
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
...he doesn't want to be reminded of his age. After 2,000 you might feel a little tetchy about it, too.
Steven Spielberg has banned Christmas because...
[ 17. December 2009, 08:08: Message edited by: Lyda*Rose ]
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829
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Posted
The only Christmas list anyone gave him was Schindlers!
The Potato Marketing Board have banned Christmas because...
AG
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"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869
Posts: 3574 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007
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alienfromzog
Ship's Alien
# 5327
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Posted
everybody knows that roast potatoes cooked in goose fat are the best by far and a large number of people have been trying goose instead of turkey this year. The board fear that if too many people have roast potatoes in goose fat they will not want 'lesser' potatoes for the rest of the year.
Ship of Fools has cancelled Christmas because...
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
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Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts.
[Sen. D.P.Moynihan]
An Alien's View of Earth - my blog (or vanity exercise...)
Posts: 2150 | From: Zog, obviously! Straight past Alpha Centauri, 2nd planet on the left... | Registered: Dec 2003
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Hiro's Leap
Shipmate
# 12470
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Posted
...it's too commercialised and pagan for Real Christians to celebrate, and the Ship nothing if not a Christian Website.
The Wild Things (from Where The Wild Things Are) have banned Christmas because...
Posts: 3418 | From: UK, OK | Registered: Mar 2007
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Celtic Knotweed
Shipmate
# 13008
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Posted
...it's been tamed.
The Metropolitan Police have banned (photographing) Christmas because...
[edited for spelling, despite the spell-checker!]
[ 17. December 2009, 22:53: Message edited by: Celtic Knotweed ]
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My little sister is riding 100k round London at night to raise money for cancer research donations here if you feel so inclined.
Posts: 664 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Sep 2007
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Sylvander
Shipmate
# 12857
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Posted
... because Santa's reindeer notoriously comply with neither the speed limit nor the new exhaust fume legislation.
Liverpool FC have banned Christmas because...
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A martyr is someone living with a saint.
2509
Posts: 1589 | From: Berlin | Registered: Jul 2007
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Loveheart
Blue-scarved menace
# 12249
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Posted
they don't think its much Kop, tend to get as high as a Kuyt, and have a completely Torres time of it. Plus it'll probably Reina. Benitez is a man outstanding in his Anfield though.
Either that or its banned because the team is doing SO badly, they don't deserve any time off to celebrate, but should spend the day practising instead!
Thomas the Tank Engine has banned Christmas because...
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You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. Mahatma Gandhi
Posts: 3638 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2007
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
His author (A clergyman) was always busy on Christmas Day, and Thomas felt neglected.
The Queen has banned Christmas because...
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823
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Posted
One has said it all every Christmas after dinner and everything is so AWFUL now, how can one be positive or inspirational for one's subjects any more? I mean Jesus Christ Charles, when are you going to smother one with a pillow and take this crap on?
The magi have banned Christmas because...
Posts: 4363 | From: where the taxis won't go | Registered: Sep 2006
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Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
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Posted
Because they think they need more profits. And people listening to prophets diminishes theirs.
PeteC has banned Christmas this year
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Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Because it has lost its meaning since his recent conversion to agnosticism.
Turkeys have banned Christmas...
[ 19. December 2009, 09:50: Message edited by: jacobsen ]
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
....because they're fed up of all that Gobbling.
The Grimethorpe Colliery Band has banned Christmas because....
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823
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Posted
There's no Grimethorpe Colliery any more.
Simon Cowell has banned Christmas because...
Posts: 4363 | From: where the taxis won't go | Registered: Sep 2006
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
He can't vote for the main chracter.
Boris Johnson has banned Christmas because...
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
He can't get up in time for breakfast any more.
The "Morning Star" has banned Chrisymas because ...
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
The Star went into action long before it was launched.
Pope Benedict has banned Christmas because...
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
...the Christmas message of good news is compromised by secular elements such as Marxism.
Hollywood has banned Christmas...
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
like, I mean, it's like, totally, this like, religious thing, and I'm like so not like religious, but like totally spir-a-tual!? So, like, this year, I'm like totally doing this like Buddhist earth-mother reintegration? That's like what Christmas is, right?
Marion Barry banned Christmas because . . .
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Loveheart
Blue-scarved menace
# 12249
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Posted
there was no room for him at the inn either
John Rutter has banned Christmas because...
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You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. Mahatma Gandhi
Posts: 3638 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2007
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Traveller
Shipmate
# 1943
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Posted
not enough people were singing his Christmas music.
Carol has banned Christmas because ...
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I will sing unto the Lord as long as I live:
I will praise my God while I have my being.
Psalm 104 v.33
Posts: 1037 | From: Wherever the car has stopped at the moment! | Registered: Dec 2001
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
..of embarrassment at having ousted plainchant from the forefront of the music.
Blitzen has banned Christmas because...
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Angel Wrestler
Ship's Hipster
# 13673
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
..of embarrassment at having ousted plainchant from the forefront of the music.
Blitzen has banned Christmas because...
He got fed up with being last and looking at all those reindeer heineys (and smelling the emissions) every Christmas.
Tiger Woods has banned Christmas because ...
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The fact that no one understands you does not make you an artist.
(unknown)
Posts: 2767 | From: half-way up the ladder | Registered: May 2008
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Leaf
Shipmate
# 14169
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Posted
... every time Santa says, "Ho! Ho! Ho!" it feels like an accusation.
Mattel (toy company) has banned Christmas because...
Posts: 2786 | From: the electrical field | Registered: Oct 2008
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Elfin safety has vetoed all their products.
The Head Chorister has banned Christmas because....
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Sylvander
Shipmate
# 12857
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Posted
because the cast of the show hasn't changed in 2000 years.
Snow men have banned Christmas because...
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A martyr is someone living with a saint.
2509
Posts: 1589 | From: Berlin | Registered: Jul 2007
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kingsfold
Shipmate
# 1726
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Posted
They've had enough of their snowballs being thrown around.
The clergy have banned Christmas because
Posts: 4473 | From: land of the wee midgie | Registered: Nov 2001
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
... they just can't cope with the shock of seeing their churches full for a change!
Eurostar has banned Christmas because ...
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Sylvander
Shipmate
# 12857
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Posted
...after some minor delays - sorry if this has caused anyone any inconvenience - they found a Christmas tree had grown on the tracks.
Ann Summers has cancelled Christmas because...
Some people are playing off the Ship. playing off board! Is that allowed?
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A martyr is someone living with a saint.
2509
Posts: 1589 | From: Berlin | Registered: Jul 2007
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
The carbon footprint was too great.
My cats have banned Christmas because
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
| IP: Logged
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