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Source: (consider it) Thread: Circus: "Nihilistic Password Security Questions"
churchgeek

Have candles, will pray
# 5557

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McSweeney's published this brilliant list of "nihilistic password security questions" - you know, the questions you set in case you forget your password on a website. Some examples from Soheil Rezayazdi for McSweeney's:

quote:
What is the name of your least favorite child?

In what year did you abandon your dreams?

Read the list for a chuckle...and then offer your own here! No need to answer the questions (unless you want to, but then we'll all be able to steal your passwords).

But I'm sure Shipmates can come up with some good ones!

I'll give it a go:

What did your family mock you for wanting to be when you grew up?

[ 07. March 2016, 07:46: Message edited by: Doublethink. ]

--------------------
I reserve the right to change my mind.

My article on the Virgin of Vladimir

Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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Which relative said something to you when you were a child that crushed you so badly you still haven't gotten over it?

--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Trudy Scrumptious

BBE Shieldmaiden
# 5647

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What was the name of the street on which you used to stand and gaze at the window of your only true love, who would never acknowledge your existence?

--------------------
Books and things.

I lied. There are no things. Just books.

Posts: 7428 | From: Closer to Paris than I am to Vancouver | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
Rossweisse

High Church Valkyrie
# 2349

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What's your favorite chemo?

--------------------
I'm not dead yet.

Posts: 15117 | From: Valhalla | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged
churchgeek

Have candles, will pray
# 5557

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How many ****s do you currently give?


(On second thought, that one might be too obvious...)

--------------------
I reserve the right to change my mind.

My article on the Virgin of Vladimir

Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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What is the name of the teacher who told you you couldn't sing?

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468

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Which of your past bosses was the most obnoxious?

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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What was the last book you gave up reading because you couldn't understand it or because it was too long?

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829

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Whose grave would you most like to dance on?

AG

--------------------
"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869

Posts: 3574 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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Which of your neighbours is the most annoying?
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Stejjie
Shipmate
# 13941

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What words spoken to you have crushed your spirit the most?

--------------------
A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist

Posts: 1117 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
Hiro's Leap

Shipmate
# 12470

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Which of your childhood pets had the least unpleasant death?
Posts: 3418 | From: UK, OK | Registered: Mar 2007  |  IP: Logged
Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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Which of your relationships was most pointless?

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
Piglet
Islander
# 11803

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In which subject did you score the lowest marks in school?

--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music

Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged
Stejjie
Shipmate
# 13941

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How many times have you been refused credit?

--------------------
A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist

Posts: 1117 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
Adam.

Like as the
# 4991

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Where would you locate yourself on a scale from ennui to enervation?

--------------------
Ave Crux, Spes Unica!
Preaching blog

Posts: 8164 | From: Notre Dame, IN | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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What is the most number of days you have gone without washing?

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
Adam.

Like as the
# 4991

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What do you want to say about National Socialism (which is, at least, an ethos)?

--------------------
Ave Crux, Spes Unica!
Preaching blog

Posts: 8164 | From: Notre Dame, IN | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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Who was the first to tell you that with looks like yours, you'd be better off trying to get by on personality?

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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How many pairs of knickers do you possess?

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

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quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
How many pairs of knickers do you possess?

How many of them would consider wearing?

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
LeRoc

Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216

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At gym class, when it was time to choose teams, name all the children that were chosen before you.

--------------------
I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)

Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
Schroedinger's cat

Ship's cool cat
# 64

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quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
At gym class, when it was time to choose teams, name all the children that were chosen before you.

I can't remember the names of everyone in my year....

At what age did you realise that your life was going to be worthless?

--------------------
Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.

Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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Justify your existence

--------------------
All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Cottontail

Shipmate
# 12234

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How old were you when someone first told you you looked good for your age?

--------------------
"I don't think you ought to read so much theology," said Lord Peter. "It has a brutalizing influence."

Posts: 2377 | From: Scotland | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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When did it all go wrong?
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Amanda B. Reckondwythe

Dressed for Church
# 5521

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How many people have told you you've gained weight?

--------------------
"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.

Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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How many times have you gone upstairs, only to have forgotten why you went?

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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What flavour of ice cream tastes changes its taste the most after the addition of tears?

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
Stejjie
Shipmate
# 13941

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How many better-qualified people turned down your job before your employers realised they'd no choice but to give it to you?

--------------------
A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist

Posts: 1117 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829

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Why do you still give a shit?

AG

--------------------
"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869

Posts: 3574 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007  |  IP: Logged
mark_in_manchester

not waving, but...
# 15978

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Your password: a totem of the sense of personal integrity, character and meaning which seems so absent from corporeal existence.

[ 06. October 2015, 11:14: Message edited by: mark_in_manchester ]

--------------------
"We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard
(so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)

Posts: 1596 | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged
Trudy Scrumptious

BBE Shieldmaiden
# 5647

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Which song most reminds you of that summer you lost faith in your dreams?

--------------------
Books and things.

I lied. There are no things. Just books.

Posts: 7428 | From: Closer to Paris than I am to Vancouver | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
Stejjie
Shipmate
# 13941

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When do you think you might actually be able to remember your password for this website, instead of constantly having to answer these inane questions to reset it?

--------------------
A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist

Posts: 1117 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549

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How in your opinion is humanity most likely to wipe itself out?

--------------------
we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams

Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
mark_in_manchester

not waving, but...
# 15978

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[Killing me] That's me sorted - no more old car registrations, from now on it's 'dyinginaseaofourownexcretalikeabunchofyeastinasealeddemijohn'. Better try it on one of those 'how strong is your password' routines.

[ 06. October 2015, 15:10: Message edited by: mark_in_manchester ]

--------------------
"We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard
(so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)

Posts: 1596 | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged
Snags
Utterly socially unrealistic
# 15351

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In whose bathroom did you first vow never to drink again?

--------------------
Vain witterings :-: Vain pretentions :-: The Dog's Blog(locks)

Posts: 1399 | From: just north of That London | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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On which bank holiday did you first go to a garden centre of your own volition?

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128

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[My wife would substitute "steam railway" for "garden centre" in the above].
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged
Schroedinger's cat

Ship's cool cat
# 64

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Why don't you just change them all to password, and accept that you are a loser.

--------------------
Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.

Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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What's "loser" in Swahili?

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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When did you first realise you were going to die friendless and alone ?

--------------------
All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Organ Builder
Shipmate
# 12478

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Why do you bother?

--------------------
How desperately difficult it is to be honest with oneself. It is much easier to be honest with other people.--E.F. Benson

Posts: 3337 | From: ...somewhere in between 40 and death... | Registered: Mar 2007  |  IP: Logged
balaam

Making an ass of myself
# 4543

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What is your most pointless ambition?

--------------------
Last ever sig ...

blog

Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549

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If you died unexpectedly how long would it take before someone discovered your body?

--------------------
we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams

Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Adeodatus
Shipmate
# 4992

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Which of your few friends is likely to abandon you next?

(Btw, I think I might have woken my neighbours up laughing at this thread!)

--------------------
"What is broken, repair with gold."

Posts: 9779 | From: Manchester | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged
jacobsen

seeker
# 14998

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How often do you wake up uncertain what day it is?

--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.

Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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How did it come to this?
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870

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What are the 1st, 3rd and 5th letters of the word you use to describe the feeling in your stomach when you've been rejected from a job application?

--------------------
I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile

Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged
Schroedinger's cat

Ship's cool cat
# 64

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Which is worse, your own disappointment with your children or your parents disappointment with you?

--------------------
Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.

Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged



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