Ship of Fools: Use a freaking rake! People who use mass quality of life weapons of mass destruction

Thread: Use a freaking rake! People who use mass quality of life weapons of mass destruction Board: Hell / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on :

I nominate leaf blowers.

Soul destroying psycho arsenal of power tools to clean up leaves and whispy little skiffs of snow. Who invented these soul destroying disrupters of peace and quiet? Nature reverses what you're doing so quickly, and then you're out again with your hair dryer of satan.

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

Back in the days of TICTH I bitched about leaf blowers. Here was my story- - I began hating leaf blowers back in the nineties, when I caught a nap on one of my preschool sub gigs.

Fun fact-- Most preschool teachers nap on their breaks. BECAUSE THEY FUCKING NEED TO. YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

Anyway, I went outside on my break and holed up in my car to take a nap, and the second my eyes started closing, a fucking leaf blower started up on the lawn next to me.

I tried to be patient, to respect someone's profession, a fellow thankless blue collar service industry person. I patiently started my car and drove a block or two up. Settled in to nap again. Eyes began to close. ANOTHER FUCKING LEAG BLOWER STARTED UP. FML.

Honest to God, this was the moment I began worrying that God really hates me.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

I never use either. There's always a big wind that comes at about this time of year, and deposits them on someone else's lawn.

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
I never use either. There's always a big wind that comes at about this time of year, and deposits them on someone else's lawn.

How do you avoid having someone else's leaves upwind deposited on your own lawn?

Unless you have no lawn ... [Paranoid]

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
I never use either. There's always a big wind that comes at about this time of year, and deposits them on someone else's lawn.
How do you avoid having someone else's leaves upwind deposited on your own lawn?

Unless you have no lawn ...

I don't know how it works. But I always come out ahead.

Posted by Leorning Cniht (# 17564) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
How do you avoid having someone else's leaves upwind deposited on your own lawn?

That's easy. Mousethief's upwind neighbors have leaf blowers.

Posted by anoesis (# 14189) on :

More likely, Mousethief's upwind neighbours use rakes, rake the leaves into a pile, and put them in a bin or compost pile, so that they can't blow about any more. I have never seen a single person using a leaf blower for anything so remotely sensible as gathering leaves so as to dispose of them. Honestly, if you just blow them into the gutter, it's patently obvious they will be back out again in ten minutes' time, mingling with the newly fallen ones.

They are indeed a tool of the devil.

Posted by Jay-Emm (# 11411) on :

quote:
Originally posted by anoesis:
it's patently obvious they will be back out again in ten minutes' time, mingling with the newly fallen ones.

[/QB]

Or block the drains

Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :

The gardeners here use them to blow the leaves into piles against the trees, and then bag them up for removal.

Or they did until this morning, when the rain will make it impossible.

Posted by betjemaniac (# 17618) on :

being in the position of having both a lawn, and multiple beech trees, I will admit to having one (which I inherited from my grandfather). I clear them every fortnight for about 6 weeks, then it's over for another year. Otherwise the lawn vanishes under about 2 feet of leaves and the grass dies.

However, I've never used it in "blow" mode because, as has been posted, that strikes me an an exercise in futility. I use it in "suck" mode, where they get shredded on the way through and go into a bag. Then they get variously binned, burned, or composted.

I could rake them and bag them by hand, but when you live by yourself and you've got the cooking, washing, cleaning, shopping, etc to do *as well* then something's got to give.

Posted by Bishops Finger (# 5430) on :

Same here, but the rain might stick the leaves down, so that they stay in place...

IJ

Posted by Doc Tor (# 9748) on :

I've inherited an electric rake.

It's brilliant.

Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :

In the rain?

Posted by Callan (# 525) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
I've inherited an electric rake.

It's brilliant.

You're just playing with us, aren't you? WTF is an electric rake.

Posted by Doc Tor (# 9748) on :

2 seconds on google... [Disappointed]

Like this

Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on :

You may be in actuality the nicest neighbour, but that is not what you will be remembered for.

I am sorry that they banned and made illegal lawn darts. Dreaming of explosive tips I am so.

Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on :

I have a rake for hard to reach places. Anything on the lawn gets hit with the lawn mower, sans bag. The small shreds that are left aren't big enough to smother the grass, and are there to feed the beneficial worms and microbes in the spring. Unless you have so many trees that this won't work, don't take perfectly good carbon and dump it in the trash.

I don't have the greenest lawn on the block, but it's green enough, even though it hasn't been touched by chemicals in the four years I've been working with it.

Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :

I don;t touch them, but somehow by spring they ahve disappeared
[Big Grin]

Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on :

As long as we are bitching about fall leaf problems...

The city just took our dumpster away and gave everyone one trash bin for a week's worth of trash. Put it out on Monday night, bring it back in Tuesday night. Each bin has your address written on it for easy identification.

Last night, I went out to bring in my bin, and it was gone. I called some neighbors to see if they had grabbed it by accident, nothing.

This afternoon, I walked down the alley to see if I could find it. Sure enough, there it was a few doors down, filled to the brim with fall leaves.

So that asshole now has a trash bin shaped pile of leaves behind his house, and I got my bin back.

Not the day to piss me off...

Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on :

It isn't legal to put leaves in the trash bin here. It shouldn't be legal to have water sucking lawns.

Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on :

They provide free paper lawn bags and free leaf drop off here, and the city composts it all. But just because they make it easy to do the right thing, it doesn't mean people won't still be slobs.

There are a few plastic bags full of leaves near where I found my can. Maybe I'll grab them to mulch my garden beds.

[ 10. November 2016, 03:41: Message edited by: Og, King of Bashan ]

Posted by RuthW (# 13) on :

quote:
Originally posted by no prophet's flag is set so...:
I nominate leaf blowers.

Soul destroying psycho arsenal of power tools to clean up leaves and whispy little skiffs of snow. Who invented these soul destroying disrupters of peace and quiet? Nature reverses what you're doing so quickly, and then you're out again with your hair dryer of satan.

Where I live, they should use a broom, but yeah, I am SO. With. You!

Every Saturday, someone shows up at my apartment building and uses a leaf blower to blow the dust around in the small, completely paved courtyard. The noise in the narrow courtyard is unbelievable, and it's completely unnecessary. We don't even have trees! We have cacti and bushes out front, and pots in plants in the courtyard, and they could sweep the place out in the time it takes for them to blow things, and it would actually accomplish something other than blowing the dust around. My only consolation is being on the second floor, so they're not right outside the windows that look out onto the courtyard.

And it's always Saturday. Can't be on a weekday when more residents would be at work. Has to be Saturday. [Mad]

Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :

My mother had a hypothesis about men and hoses - possibly it extends to leaf blowing?

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

In my vicinity we get men in protective jackets with ear muffs wandering around with leaf blowers, sending a growing pile of leaves in the direction of a tiny van with an enormous hose that vacuums the leaves up.

I hate this. All those beautiful, colourful leaves falling negligently and gracefully wherever they please, just sucked up like so much rubbish, leaving the grass underneath a pristine green for about the next three minutes.

If you're going to do it, do it properly. Vacuum the bloody trees.

[ 10. November 2016, 17:38: Message edited by: Ariel ]

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:

If you're going to do it, do it properly. Vacuum the bloody trees.

Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on :

I assume that No Prophet etc cuts his lawns with scissors.

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:

quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
I never use either. There's always a big wind that comes at about this time of year, and deposits them on someone else's lawn.
How do you avoid having someone else's leaves upwind deposited on your own lawn?

Unless you have no lawn ...
I don't know how it works. But I always come out ahead.

Whereas I've discovered I live at the end of a "natural" wind tunnel.

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