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» Ship of Fools   » Community discussion   » Hell   » Use a freaking rake! People who use mass quality of life weapons of mass destruction

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Use a freaking rake! People who use mass quality of life weapons of mass destruction
no prophet's flag is set so...

Proceed to see sea
# 15560

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I nominate leaf blowers.

Soul destroying psycho arsenal of power tools to clean up leaves and whispy little skiffs of snow. Who invented these soul destroying disrupters of peace and quiet? Nature reverses what you're doing so quickly, and then you're out again with your hair dryer of satan.

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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/

Posts: 11177 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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Back in the days of TICTH I bitched about leaf blowers. Here was my story- - I began hating leaf blowers back in the nineties, when I caught a nap on one of my preschool sub gigs.

Fun fact-- Most preschool teachers nap on their breaks. BECAUSE THEY FUCKING NEED TO. YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

Anyway, I went outside on my break and holed up in my car to take a nap, and the second my eyes started closing, a fucking leaf blower started up on the lawn next to me.

I tried to be patient, to respect someone's profession, a fellow thankless blue collar service industry person. I patiently started my car and drove a block or two up. Settled in to nap again. Eyes began to close. ANOTHER FUCKING LEAG BLOWER STARTED UP. FML.

Honest to God, this was the moment I began worrying that God really hates me.

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"Take your broken heart, make it into art"-- Carrie Fisher (1956-2016)

Posts: 35057 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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I never use either. There's always a big wind that comes at about this time of year, and deposits them on someone else's lawn.

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“Religion doesn't fuck up people, people fuck up religion.”—lilBuddha

Posts: 63202 | From: Ecotopia | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
I never use either. There's always a big wind that comes at about this time of year, and deposits them on someone else's lawn.

How do you avoid having someone else's leaves upwind deposited on your own lawn?

Unless you have no lawn ... [Paranoid]

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 19995 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
I never use either. There's always a big wind that comes at about this time of year, and deposits them on someone else's lawn.

How do you avoid having someone else's leaves upwind deposited on your own lawn?

Unless you have no lawn ... [Paranoid]

I don't know how it works. But I always come out ahead.

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“Religion doesn't fuck up people, people fuck up religion.”—lilBuddha

Posts: 63202 | From: Ecotopia | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564

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quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
How do you avoid having someone else's leaves upwind deposited on your own lawn?

That's easy. Mousethief's upwind neighbors have leaf blowers.
Posts: 4897 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged
anoesis
Shipmate
# 14189

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More likely, Mousethief's upwind neighbours use rakes, rake the leaves into a pile, and put them in a bin or compost pile, so that they can't blow about any more. I have never seen a single person using a leaf blower for anything so remotely sensible as gathering leaves so as to dispose of them. Honestly, if you just blow them into the gutter, it's patently obvious they will be back out again in ten minutes' time, mingling with the newly fallen ones.

They are indeed a tool of the devil.

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The history of humanity give one little hope that strength left to its own devices won't be abused. Indeed, it gives one little ground to think that strength would continue to exist if it were not abused. -- Dafyd --

Posts: 990 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged
Jay-Emm
Shipmate
# 11411

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quote:
Originally posted by anoesis:
it's patently obvious they will be back out again in ten minutes' time, mingling with the newly fallen ones.

[/QB]

Or block the drains
Posts: 1619 | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged
Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768

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The gardeners here use them to blow the leaves into piles against the trees, and then bag them up for removal.

Or they did until this morning, when the rain will make it impossible.

Posts: 5776 | Registered: May 2009  |  IP: Logged
betjemaniac
Shipmate
# 17618

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being in the position of having both a lawn, and multiple beech trees, I will admit to having one (which I inherited from my grandfather). I clear them every fortnight for about 6 weeks, then it's over for another year. Otherwise the lawn vanishes under about 2 feet of leaves and the grass dies.

However, I've never used it in "blow" mode because, as has been posted, that strikes me an an exercise in futility. I use it in "suck" mode, where they get shredded on the way through and go into a bag. Then they get variously binned, burned, or composted.

I could rake them and bag them by hand, but when you live by yourself and you've got the cooking, washing, cleaning, shopping, etc to do *as well* then something's got to give.

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And is it true? For if it is....

Posts: 1439 | From: behind the dreaming spires | Registered: Mar 2013  |  IP: Logged
Bishops Finger
Shipmate
# 5430

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Same here, but the rain might stick the leaves down, so that they stay in place...

IJ

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Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)

Posts: 9446 | From: Behind The Wheel Again! | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged
Doc Tor
Deepest Red
# 9748

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I've inherited an electric rake.

It's brilliant.

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Forward the New Republic

Posts: 8920 | From: Ultima Thule | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768

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In the rain?
Posts: 5776 | Registered: May 2009  |  IP: Logged
Callan
Shipmate
# 525

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quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
I've inherited an electric rake.

It's brilliant.

You're just playing with us, aren't you? WTF is an electric rake.

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How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton

Posts: 9705 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Doc Tor
Deepest Red
# 9748

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2 seconds on google... [Disappointed]

Like this

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Forward the New Republic

Posts: 8920 | From: Ultima Thule | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
no prophet's flag is set so...

Proceed to see sea
# 15560

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You may be in actuality the nicest neighbour, but that is not what you will be remembered for.

I am sorry that they banned and made illegal lawn darts. Dreaming of explosive tips I am so.

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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/

Posts: 11177 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged
Og, King of Bashan

Ship's giant Amorite
# 9562

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I have a rake for hard to reach places. Anything on the lawn gets hit with the lawn mower, sans bag. The small shreds that are left aren't big enough to smother the grass, and are there to feed the beneficial worms and microbes in the spring. Unless you have so many trees that this won't work, don't take perfectly good carbon and dump it in the trash.

I don't have the greenest lawn on the block, but it's green enough, even though it hasn't been touched by chemicals in the four years I've been working with it.

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"I like to eat crawfish and drink beer. That's despair?" ― Walker Percy

Posts: 3160 | From: Denver, Colorado, USA | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged
Zacchaeus
Shipmate
# 14454

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I don;t touch them, but somehow by spring they ahve disappeared
[Big Grin]

Posts: 1886 | From: the back of beyond | Registered: Jan 2009  |  IP: Logged
Og, King of Bashan

Ship's giant Amorite
# 9562

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As long as we are bitching about fall leaf problems...

The city just took our dumpster away and gave everyone one trash bin for a week's worth of trash. Put it out on Monday night, bring it back in Tuesday night. Each bin has your address written on it for easy identification.

Last night, I went out to bring in my bin, and it was gone. I called some neighbors to see if they had grabbed it by accident, nothing.

This afternoon, I walked down the alley to see if I could find it. Sure enough, there it was a few doors down, filled to the brim with fall leaves.

So that asshole now has a trash bin shaped pile of leaves behind his house, and I got my bin back.

Not the day to piss me off...

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"I like to eat crawfish and drink beer. That's despair?" ― Walker Percy

Posts: 3160 | From: Denver, Colorado, USA | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged
no prophet's flag is set so...

Proceed to see sea
# 15560

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It isn't legal to put leaves in the trash bin here. It shouldn't be legal to have water sucking lawns.

--------------------
Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/

Posts: 11177 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged
Og, King of Bashan

Ship's giant Amorite
# 9562

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They provide free paper lawn bags and free leaf drop off here, and the city composts it all. But just because they make it easy to do the right thing, it doesn't mean people won't still be slobs.

There are a few plastic bags full of leaves near where I found my can. Maybe I'll grab them to mulch my garden beds.

[ 10. November 2016, 03:41: Message edited by: Og, King of Bashan ]

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"I like to eat crawfish and drink beer. That's despair?" ― Walker Percy

Posts: 3160 | From: Denver, Colorado, USA | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged
RuthW

liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13

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quote:
Originally posted by no prophet's flag is set so...:
I nominate leaf blowers.

Soul destroying psycho arsenal of power tools to clean up leaves and whispy little skiffs of snow. Who invented these soul destroying disrupters of peace and quiet? Nature reverses what you're doing so quickly, and then you're out again with your hair dryer of satan.

Where I live, they should use a broom, but yeah, I am SO. With. You!

Every Saturday, someone shows up at my apartment building and uses a leaf blower to blow the dust around in the small, completely paved courtyard. The noise in the narrow courtyard is unbelievable, and it's completely unnecessary. We don't even have trees! We have cacti and bushes out front, and pots in plants in the courtyard, and they could sweep the place out in the time it takes for them to blow things, and it would actually accomplish something other than blowing the dust around. My only consolation is being on the second floor, so they're not right outside the windows that look out onto the courtyard.

And it's always Saturday. Can't be on a weekday when more residents would be at work. Has to be Saturday. [Mad]

Posts: 24429 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768

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My mother had a hypothesis about men and hoses - possibly it extends to leaf blowing?
Posts: 5776 | Registered: May 2009  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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In my vicinity we get men in protective jackets with ear muffs wandering around with leaf blowers, sending a growing pile of leaves in the direction of a tiny van with an enormous hose that vacuums the leaves up.

I hate this. All those beautiful, colourful leaves falling negligently and gracefully wherever they please, just sucked up like so much rubbish, leaving the grass underneath a pristine green for about the next three minutes.

If you're going to do it, do it properly. Vacuum the bloody trees.

[ 10. November 2016, 17:38: Message edited by: Ariel ]

Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:

If you're going to do it, do it properly. Vacuum the bloody trees.

[Killing me] [Killing me] [Killing me]

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

Posts: 19995 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Gee D
Shipmate
# 13815

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I assume that No Prophet etc cuts his lawns with scissors.

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Not every Anglican in Sydney is Sydney Anglican

Posts: 6771 | From: Warrawee NSW Australia | Registered: Jun 2008  |  IP: Logged
orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
I never use either. There's always a big wind that comes at about this time of year, and deposits them on someone else's lawn.

How do you avoid having someone else's leaves upwind deposited on your own lawn?

Unless you have no lawn ... [Paranoid]

I don't know how it works. But I always come out ahead.
Whereas I've discovered I live at the end of a "natural" wind tunnel.

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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

Posts: 18147 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged


 
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