Ship of Fools: Union Office

Thread: Union Office Board: Nativity Play / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :

If you have a complaint, query, suggestion or rant, please bring it here. This is not designed to be the Nativity equivalent of Hell, but a useful resource for cast members to be able to air issues regarding their employment in this theatre.

I believe the Equity Deputy Dawg will answer your queries as and when she can be bothered.

It is also the place to view stats and data pertaining to the Play. Although what data that will be we have no idea...

Posted by Even Lowlier Shepherd (# 3691) on :

My name is misspelled in the cast list--it is Siegfried, not Seigfried.
Thanks.

Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :

Many apologies, Siegfried, it will be rectified asap!

Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on :

This may no be and entirely suitable place for it, but as the non-actor on stage, can I say

Break a leg, everybody.

Posted by Equity Deputy (# 3673) on :

Deputy report:

Auditions - 74 auditioned; 55 known to be cast as of this writing (ie, I have their sock names and numbers); 16 additional sock numbers may be in use (and The Spreadsheet will be updated as I see them on cast list thread). No EEO data available.

A rehearsal call was held 8 December at around 3:00 pm EST at the cafe. It apparently lasted about 45 seconds and covered 1/3 of one scene. An estimated 6 cast members were present, supervised by the Music Director.

No accidents reported; no firearms use

Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :

I don't know about breaking a leg, but I'm going to break someone's neck if he doesn't turn his bass guitar down...

Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Musical Director:
I don't know about breaking a leg, but I'm going to break someone's neck if he doesn't turn his bass guitar down...

temper temper!

Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on :

pst, gift of gold, sorry about the gender mixup! and don't worry, the claws were clean, and the scratches should heal without scars....

Posted by Lowly Shepherd (# 3693) on :

Mr. Lowly Shepherd says I'm not allowed to stay up and play this evening, as I've been working far too hard wool-gathering today.

I think I'll just have to take my knitting off to the sheep-pen and catch up with proceedings tomorrow.

If by chance a heavenly host passes by, you will wake me up, won't you? Ooops (drops a stitch)

Posted by Pontius Pilot (# 3700) on :

Equity Director: what on earth is it with Gift of blimmin' Gold? She's not even due to appear onstage until Scene 11, but already she's [checks transcript, turns purple] waltzing Mary around the stage??? I mean, for crying out loud, she's just meant to be a tin pot with gold foil wrapped round it, with minimal lines. I must protest most protestfully. Can you look up the index of Equity Rules, you'll find something under "primadonnas".

Posted by Director (# 3664) on :

Huh! An hour in and not a single 'Fear Not!' Gabriel's skulking in the cafe and half the cast has gone off to watch 'Dead Ringers.'

I'll have you know my professional reputation rests on this play! [Frown]

Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :

I was assigned two Stage Helpers, only one of which is supposed to be Invisible. Where are any Stage Hands?

I have an insane Stable Cat (not needed til at least Scene 8) running amok clawing cast embers to shreds! I'm having to fill in for the missing First-aider and I'm running out of Mr Men plasters.

Now, Mary is speaking of mistletoe onstage and there's no one to dispatch to go search for any. [Waterworks]

Posted by Herod (# 3649) on :

I wish to make a complaint, dahling.

I've had my hipflask stolen.

I'm not impressed.

Posted by Director (# 3664) on :

quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
I was assigned two Stage Helpers, only one of which is supposed to be Invisible. Where are any Stage Hands?

I have an insane Stable Cat (not needed til at least Scene 8) running amok clawing cast embers to shreds! I'm having to fill in for the missing First-aider and I'm running out of Mr Men plasters.

Now, Mary is speaking of mistletoe onstage and there's no one to dispatch to go search for any.

Ok. What's happened to chief pooper-scooper? [Confused]

Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Herod:
I wish to make a complaint, dahling.

I've had my hipflask stolen.

Here luv - have some of this

*Lift up skirt to reveal hipflasks strapped to thigh*

Whiskey, Vodka, Gin or Brandy?

Posted by Gift of Gold (# 3668) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pontius Pilot:
Equity Director: what on earth is it with Gift of blimmin' Gold? She's not even due to appear onstage until Scene 11, but already she's [checks transcript, turns purple] waltzing Mary around the stage??? I mean, for crying out loud, she's just meant to be a tin pot with gold foil wrapped round it, with minimal lines. I must protest most protestfully. Can you look up the index of Equity Rules, you'll find something under "primadonnas".

Gift of Gold I might be (and a very expensive one at that... tin pot indeed). I'm also a dancer - to give artistic interpretation to the proceedings and to fill gaps when Gabriel doesn't turn up. Have you something against feather boas?

Posted by Angel 6 (# 3709) on :

Yo, Equity Deputy -- I'm both AGMA and AFTRA (not to mention Newspaper Guild), so my Equity initiation fee is lowered accordingly. Have you got the forms?
[Angel]

Posted by bee_of_good_cheer (# 3672) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Director:

quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
I was assigned two Stage Helpers, only one of which is supposed to be Invisible. Where are any Stage Hands?

I have an insane Stable Cat (not needed til at least Scene 8) running amok clawing cast embers to shreds! I'm having to fill in for the missing First-aider and I'm running out of Mr Men plasters.

Now, Mary is speaking of mistletoe onstage and there's no one to dispatch to go search for any.
Ok. What's happened to chief pooper-scooper?

the harley was stalled at the stage door. (so sorry about the oil!) [Embarrassed]

Posted by Jedi Knight (# 3686) on :

*cough, cough*

I certainly don't mean to disturb you, but my real name is: jedijudy all lowercase (it's my humility, you see) and ending with a "y".

Thanks ever so much.

jj <humble bow>

Posted by Equity Deputy (# 3673) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Angel 6:
Yo, Equity Deputy -- I'm both AGMA and AFTRA (not to mention Newspaper Guild), so my Equity initiation fee is lowered accordingly. Have you got the forms?

You'll have to call New York for that....

Posted by Equity Deputy (# 3673) on :

Deputy report:
Scene I [most highly flavoured gravy] from 9 Dec 19:55 - 02:50; 5 hr 55 min
33 cast members; 230 posts (160 posts first 2 1/4 hrs)
Top 3 posters: Music Director, BVM, Dragon
Accidents: altercation between Cat and Gift of Gold; superficial injuries to Gold
No firearms used (but Jedi sword waved about some)

Posted by First-aider (# 3665) on :

Okay, Gold's been fixed up and it's been logged in the incident book, but I'm really not qualified to deal with lightsabre burns, you know.
Oh, and don't you think we should get a vet in? Cos I'm certainly not dealing with the sheep [Paranoid]

(no offence to the sheep, mind)

Posted by Chief Angel (# 3706) on :

Baby Bear,

Thanks for the fabby avatar!!!!!

[Yipee]

Posted by Angel 6 (# 3709) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Equity Deputy:
You'll have to call New York for that....

Did. They sent me to you.

Posted by Techie1 (# 3688) on :

Equity Deputy,
I have a problem with how this play is being directed. I'm getting absolutely no direction on lights and sound. I just took the initiative to turn Elizabeth's mike down (waaaaaaay down... before we had to listen to any more of her drunken aria)... If I am expected to make technical decisions without direction, I want an increase in pay!

Posted by bee_of_good_cheer (# 3672) on :

my scene was cut. [Frown]

eyes go large and misty

bottom lip trembles

large teardrops splash onto floor

Posted by Gift of Gold (# 3668) on :

It's been brought to my attention that there are a few union/ non union members who are being a bit careless with their profiles. In the hurry to register I think people have not considered what they would like the rest of us to know.

If I may take the liberty from the MD and D to say that by the end of the 14 day performance we might be able to make a full birthday list and e mail address list. [Eek!]

This could be a good thing (we can send you a e birthday card) but perhaps if you wish to keep up the pretence of being older or younger (in my case! [Wink]

) than you are and not having random fan mail, I think everyone would do well to check their profile and ammend accordingly.

Gold - who has her uses. Making things out of Quorn is one of them!

Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :

Small problem here. I shall be busy being the mother of another small boy in a nativity play on Thursday, and then diverting my journey to Bethlehem via Cubs and Sainsbury's on Friday, which might hold things up a bit. You will just have to busk a bit till I get home, which will probably be about 9pm our time. [Big Grin]

Oh, it's nice being indispensible! [Big Grin]

Posted by Chief Angel (# 3706) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
... Oh, it's nice being indispensible!

I'm sure there's an understudy round here somewhere... [Wink]

Posted by Equity Deputy (# 3673) on :

Notice from the Deputy:

Some of The Cast have announced that they have Conflicts(1). Please note that Mrs Tubbs has graciously offered to be Understudy. Also, in the spirit that there are no small parts, only small actors, some of the 'secondary' cast have been *quite* forward [that lump of gold seems to be everywhere :-)]. Please take advantage of the call board to sort everything out.

(1) NB - 'Conflicts' refers only to schedules - any other conflicts Are Not My Job - I'm the Deputy, not the Sargent-at-Arms.

Posted by Equity Deputy (# 3673) on :

Deputy report:

Final on Scene I:
Began 9 December 19:23; lasted 23 hr 40 min
42 cast members participated
292 posts, 6 pages

Interim report Scene II
10 December 19:47-01:22; 5 hr 35 min
24 cast members participated so far
201 posts, 5 pages so far
Accidents - digestive upsets for BVM, Elizabeth, and assorted livestock [note - change pizza vendor]
No firearms used

I now have sock numbers for 59 cast members; 47 have made at least one appearance in a scene; 7 more have posted a bio or appeared in the office.

EEO report
~15 non-human auditioners (animal, vegetable, mineral, immaterial); ~ 2/3 of those cast play humans
~14 non-human characters cast(animal, vegetable, mineral, immaterial) played by humans; 70% of characters cast are human

Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on :

*stable cat wanders into union office, jumps on a random desk, and curls up in the in box*

mrrrrrrrwwww....... purrrrr......

Posted by Gabriel (# 827) on :

Quote from earlier: "Huh! An hour in and not a single 'Fear Not!' Gabriel's skulking in the cafe and half the cast has gone off to watch 'Dead Ringers.'

I'll have you know my professional reputation rests on this play!"

I'll have you know I DO NOT sulk!! I was looking after Joseph and Zachariah whilst their wives were enjoying their girlie night in.

I can't join in tonight 'cos I've a real (professional) nativity to go to!

Posted by bee_of_good_cheer (# 3672) on :

quote:
Originally posted by bee_of_good_cheer:
my scene was cut.

eyes go large and misty

bottom lip trembles

large teardrops splash onto floor

after a moody sulk, i went through all my posts and found the silly scene. i'd had too may windows opened and it had escaped me and landed on the programme. [Embarrassed]

so sorry for my outburst. (VERY relieved that it was my own gaffe, added to perhaps a teensy bit of pride.) forgive me?

Posted by Equity Deputy (# 3673) on :

Deputy report:

Final on Scene 2:
Ran 10 Dec 19:47- 11 Dec 16:11 [20 hr 24 min]
238 posts, 5 pages
30 Cast Members participated
Accidents not previously reported: minor back injury (no lost work time) to Brick ^h^h^h^h^h Gift of Gold; Rumours of hang-overs
No firearms use

Cast in order of appearance: Director; Narrator; Musical Director; Virgin Mary; Jesus' Evil Twin; Stable Cat; Chief Stage Manager; Tealady; Rudolph the Red-nosed Sheep; Angel 2; Fairy Godmother; Deputy Chief Shepherd; Sheep 3; St. Elizabeth; Gabriel; A very naughty boy; Tour manager; Understudy; Angel 6; Angel 3; Jedi Knight; Techie 1; Chief Angel; Passer-by 3; Strings; Lowliest Shepherd; Spare Shepherd; Angel 5; Gift of Gold; First-aider

Posted by First-aider (# 3665) on :

Anyone wanting alka-seltzer can hobble in to see me this morning. I warn you, you'll get no sympathy... [Snigger]

Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :

I need a top-up voucher for my mobile... I'm out of credit! Can I charge it to expenses?

Posted by Camel driver (# 3655) on :

Right, I have a major breach of contract issue for the union.

Firstly, the hours of work were changed without sufficient notice - one day, scenes were going on until 2000 GMT, the next (without any warning) it was to be 1200 GMT. Who lets management get away with this? Taking hours off us and expecting us to turn up for our scenes hours before we expected to...

And then, when I do arrive for my scene (limited by office working hours), I find that some *!$%!*$ has taken the kings/wise men by bus rather than camels - the camels my character was meant to supply. They're not very wise if they trust that old charabanc to get them further than the end of the road - and what will these camels do now?? I've a good mind to send the bill direct to the tour manager, accompanied by a horse's head to remind him what happens to people who upset the Camel Teamsters [Big Grin]

Grateful if the Equity Deputy could urgently investigate this sad state of affairs

Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :

Memo to Camel Driver from The Management:
RE: Reschedulementisation of Scenes
Date: 12th March 1BC 13:36

Dear Camel Driver,

Ppprrrrssssspppppssssss!

Yours faithfully,

Management, The

End Memo

PS About the bus/camel thing, maybe it would be best if you followed them at a discreet distance. Who knows when some little accident may happen to their vehicle and you have to step in as a hero and save the day ... catch my drift? On another entirely unconnected subject, that book you ordered 'How To Disable And Icapacitate Vehicles In 10 Easy Steps' has just arrived in reception for you.

[I know, I know...preview post is my friend]

[ 12. December 2002, 13:46: Message edited by: Musical Director ]

Posted by Equity Deputy (# 3673) on :

To Camel Driver -
I believe you are actually represented by the Teamsters Union. Which is good as they have a reputation for being very tough.
Solidarity forever.

Posted by Lowliest Shepherd (# 3650) on :

What's with all these sheep - I think that they need rounded up - I keep trying but to no avail. I would like a proper sheep pen. At least we have an imaginary sheep-dog.

Posted by Understudy (# 3717) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Lowliest Shepherd:
What's with all these sheep - I think that they need rounded up - I keep trying but to no avail. I would like a proper sheep pen. At least we have an imaginary sheep-dog.

From what I can tell, the Understudy's role (apart from "helping" with the scenery is to do all the jobs that no one else wants to). I'll go and build you one ... back in mo'

Tubbs

Posted by Understudy (# 3717) on :

Mo' is up .... you have a beautiful hand crafted, welded sheep pen like this one. I have also filled the feeder bit with hay and grain ... Now get herding [Big Grin]

Understudy

Posted by Equity Deputy (# 3673) on :

Deputy report:

Final on Scene 3:
Ran 11 Dec 20:00 - 12 Dec 12:04 [16 hr 4 min]
245 posts, 5 pages
37 Cast Members participated (Erin u/s Lyra as Star of East)
Late report of back injury to director: tripped over sheep [you should contact The Management for Workers Compensation form]
No firearms use
Cast in order of appearance: Musical Director; Narrator; Dragon; Rudolph the Red-nosed Sheep; Sheep 3; Joseph; Stable Cat; Chief Stage Manager; Virgin Mary; bee_of_good_cheer; Sheep 1; Wise Man 2; Fairy Godmother; Herod; Chief Comic Shepherd; Wise Guy; A very naughty boy; Spare Shepherd; Angel 1; Chief Wise Man; Director; Tour manager; The Star in the East; Deputy Chief Shepherd; The Cow; Mrs. Herod; Chief Angel; Passer-by 3; Phil the Wise Guy; Techie 1; Evil Henchman; Angel 6; Angel 3; Jedi Knight; Gabriel; Angel 5; Camel Driver

PS - re shorter hours - at least, if any posts happen past noon ship's time, we can put in for overtime!
[Snigger]

Posted by First-aider (# 3665) on :

Re: back injuries

If anyone does their back in, I can recommend a good chiropractor. Other than that, please be careful or I'll do my back in trying to get you lot back into shape! [Roll Eyes]

Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Understudy:
Mo' is up .... you have a beautiful hand crafted, welded sheep pen like this one. I have also filled the feeder bit with hay and grain ... Now get herding

Brilliant! [Not worthy!]

Maybe you could fill in as "real sheepdog" for a while to help us get these pesky sheep settled before someone gets eaten

Posted by Director (# 3664) on :

quote:
Originally posted by First-aider:
Re: back injuries

If anyone does their back in, I can recommend a good chiropractor. Other than that, please be careful or I'll do my back in trying to get you lot back into shape!

I'm considering bringing my phsyio with me tonight! [Big Grin]

Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :

Sheep 3 enters with burns to the mouth, seeking first aid and a lawsuit.

Hey, she told me it was a TV signal cable -- they're low voltage, low amp. How the hell was I supposed to know it was the power cord to a radio!

CAN I HAVE SOME MEDICAL ATTENTION HERE!

Posted by Director (# 3664) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 3:
Sheep 3 enters with burns to the mouth, seeking first aid and a lawsuit.

Hey, she told me it was a TV signal cable -- they're low voltage, low amp. How the hell was I supposed to know it was the power cord to a radio!

CAN I HAVE SOME MEDICAL ATTENTION HERE!

Equity Deputy! Are we covered by Petplan Insurance Inc?

Posted by Equity Deputy (# 3673) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Director:

quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 3:
Sheep 3 enters with burns to the mouth, seeking first aid and a lawsuit.
<snip>!
Equity Deputy! Are we covered by Petplan Insurance Inc?

As a workplace accident, this should be Worker Comp - try here

Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Equity Deputy:
As a workplace accident, this should be Worker Comp -

Do sheep work?

Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :

[Sheep 3 lowers head, runs, and butts Fairy Godmother into the next room.]

Aaaaaa.

Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Equity Deputy:
As a workplace accident, this should be Worker Comp

Doesn't this come under Herod's jurisdiction?

Esther 7:4 - "but the compensation our adversary offers cannot be compared with the loss the king would suffer"

Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :

Aaaa-yes-aaaa

Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :

Without consonants that sheep sounds like it's at the dentists. Somebody do something please...

Posted by First-aider (# 3665) on :

I told you we should get a vet in here!

Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :

I'd just like to enquire about the ethics of the Musical Director taking my already-somewhat-enebriated hubby-to-be to the pub... to say nothing of the nasturtiums he and certain others seem to have been casting at my virgin and pure reputation. [Embarrassed]

Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
I'd just like to enquire about the ethics of the Musical Director taking my already-somewhat-enebriated hubby-to-be to the pub... to say nothing of the nasturtiums he and certain others seem to have been casting at my virgin and pure reputation.

Ethics? Aren't they what you get on horses?

And as to your 'virgin and pure reputation', that might be the reputation you have down there, up here your reputation is somewhat different. What was it they called you? Ah yes: well oiled egg*

* Why? Easy to lay, of course [Snigger]

Posted by Equity Deputy (# 3673) on :

Deputy report:

Final on Scene 4:
Ran 12 Dec 19:54 - 13 Dec 11:59 [16 hr 5 min]
245 posts, 4 pages
27 Cast Members participated
Electrical injury to Sheep 3
No firearms use
Cast in order of appearance: Director; Narrator; Musical Director; Virgin Mary; Sheep 3; Joseph; Stable Cat; Evil Henchman; Rudolph the Red-nosed Sheep; Dragon; Tour manager; Fairy Godmother; Fourth Angel; Wise Guy; Chief Stage Manager; Third Singer; Angel 3; Mrs. Herod; Deputy Chief Shepherd; Passer-by 3; Techie 1; Jesus' Evil Twin; Phil the Wise Guy; Angel 5; Herod; Strings; Lowly Stage Hand

Posted by Understudy (# 3717) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 3:
Sheep 3 enters with burns to the mouth, seeking first aid and a lawsuit.

Hey, she told me it was a TV signal cable -- they're low voltage, low amp. How the hell was I supposed to know it was the power cord to a radio!

CAN I HAVE SOME MEDICAL ATTENTION HERE!

*sign* I obviously have to do everything around here [Roll Eyes]

Looks closely at burns and then leads Sheep 3 into the ladies restrooms. Fills sink with cold water and then gently lowers sheeps jaw into it. (And if you're not nice to me I shall plunge you into a less desirable cold water source. Comprendee? [Big Grin]

) Repeats until the burning sensation stops. Carefully rubs lavender oil into the burn to help the healing and then sends the sheep off with some universal cure all

Now be careful what you eat in future ... Grass good, cables bad [Razz]

The Understudy.

Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Musical Director:

quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
I'd just like to enquire about the ethics of the Musical Director taking my already-somewhat-enebriated hubby-to-be to the pub... to say nothing of the nasturtiums he and certain others seem to have been casting at my virgin and pure reputation.
Ethics? Aren't they what you get on horses?

And as to your 'virgin and pure reputation', that might be the reputation you have down there, up here your reputation is somewhat different. What was it they called you? Ah yes: well oiled egg*

* Why? Easy to lay, of course

Impudent pup! [Mad]

Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
Impudent pup!

Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :

I wish to inform the management (with the exception of one) that I may be even quieter on stage than I normally am tonight.... as I appear to have been rendered speechless! [Mad]

Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
...as I appear to have been rendered speechless!

A rousing rendition of the Hallelujah Chorus is now required! All together now:

a-one, a-two, a-three and-a-four...

[Big Grin]

Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on :

*from a safely unreachable spot in the rafters comes the melodious sound of the stable cat joining in the chorus*

mmmmrrrrrrooooowwwwww....

(*and just what was all that manuovering with cat-shaped-air and that trunk that herod was doing at the end of the last act? methinks he's having dt's*)

Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Understudy:

quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 3:
Sheep 3 enters with burns to the mouth, seeking first aid and a lawsuit.

Hey, she told me it was a TV signal cable -- they're low voltage, low amp. How the hell was I supposed to know it was the power cord to a radio!

CAN I HAVE SOME MEDICAL ATTENTION HERE!
*sign* I obviously have to do everything around here

Looks closely at burns and then leads Sheep 3 into the ladies restrooms. Fills sink with cold water and then gently lowers sheeps jaw into it. (And if you're not nice to me I shall plunge you into a less desirable cold water source. Comprendee? ) Repeats until the burning sensation stops. Carefully rubs lavender oil into the burn to help the healing and then sends the sheep off with some universal cure all

Now be careful what you eat in future ... Grass good, cables bad

The Understudy.

[Sheep 3 looks adoringly at Understudy Lady.]

Baa. Baa.

Posted by Understudy (# 3717) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Stable Cat:
*from a safely unreachable spot in the rafters comes the melodious sound of the stable cat joining in the chorus*

mmmmrrrrrrooooowwwwww....

(*and just what was all that manuovering with cat-shaped-air and that trunk that herod was doing at the end of the last act? methinks he's having dt's*)

I knew I'd find a use for these empty bottles of lovely gin [Big Grin]

Posted by Understudy (# 3717) on :

Peaked too soon [Embarrassed]

Where's Ham & Egg's Supersoaker when you need it. [Roll Eyes]

Never mind, with a bowling action worthy of most Australian school boy cricketers The Understudy lobs said empty bottle of gin at delightful singing cat [Razz]

All is quiet. (And unless the "delightful singing cat" wishes to volunteer for either a) position of chief understudy neck warmer during this cold weather or b) an innocient for Herod to slaughter she'd better stick with "cute but mute" [Big Grin]

)

Tubbs

PS Hello sheep ... GRUBS UP!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on :

*the stable cat watches bemused as a gin bottle flies several yards to her right and smashes a rack holding several spotlights, which fall to the stage completely ruined the cat for once is left totally speechless in shock.*

Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Stable Cat:
*...a gin bottle flies several yards to her right and smashes a rack holding several spotlights, which fall to the stage completely ruined...*

That will be deducted from your performance fee, you mark my words.

Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :

Oi - union rep

Do something about those wretched sheep ro I'll turn them into wooly jumpers and Lancashire hotpot before the end of the play [Mad]

Posted by Understudy (# 3717) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Stable Cat:
*the stable cat watches bemused as a gin bottle flies several yards to her right and smashes a rack holding several spotlights, which fall to the stage completely ruined the cat for once is left totally speechless in shock.*

Well it kind of worked [Big Grin]

Just remember, you could always be replaced [Razz]

I get a fee!!!!!!!!!!!! [Eek!]

Understudy calls the Nice Man from the Insurance company - quoting policy numbers and the bit about "replacing like for like ..." - and is assured that the lights should arrive tomorrow and in the meantime, I'm sure that someone can rig up some spares. [Guessing that someone will be me then. *Sign* Back in a mo']

Understudy

Posted by Equity Deputy (# 3673) on :

quote:
Originally posted by chief stage manager:
reconsiders. . .. onstage actresses are in a higher pay grade than stage managers.

Confidential to chief stage manager:
1. Under Equity rules, *stage managers* are at a *higher* base pay - check your pay packet
2. Stage managers don't act. You are authorized to call the Understudy

Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Equity Deputy:
Confidential to chief stage manager:
1. Under Equity rules, *stage managers* are at a *higher* base pay - check your pay packet
2. Stage managers don't act. You are authorized to call the Understudy

Regarding point #1. Thank you, I have. Quite delightful news, actually.

Regarding point #2. I duly note this. Hoping Understudy's on-call hours will be more optimally aligned to onstage action than my two stage assistants and my first-aid person. Do I let them bleed til First-Aider arrives?

Respectfully, Chief Stage Manager.

Posted by Tour Manager (# 3670) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 3:

[Sheep 3 looks adoringly at Understudy Lady.]

Baa. Baa.

I hate to mention this, but in addition to variations on "baa", this sheep has also been seen to go "plop, plop".

However, despite numerous antics and the passage of several scenes, it has not yet been seen to go "psssssssssssssssssss".

Speaking from experience of other unruly sheep on the tour bus...

You have been warned

Posted by Equity Deputy (# 3673) on :

Deputy report:

Correction to report of Scene 4: 173 posts, 4 pages
Final on Scene 5:
Ran 13 Dec 20:00 - 13 Dec 12:00 [16 hr 0 min]
165 posts, 4 pages
19 Cast Members participated
injury to Angel 1 - knee grazed by sheep
No firearms use
Cast in order of appearance: Musical Director; Narrator; Evil Henchman; Joseph; Herod; Chief Stage Manager; Angel 1; Rudolph the Red-nosed Sheep; Virgin Mary; Stable Cat; Fairy Godmother; Sheep 3; Director; Jesus' Evil Twin; Tealady; Passer-by 3; Angel 3; Techie 1; Baby Jesus

Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :

Look you lot - I'm doing more than the average shepherd ever has in trying to catch that wretched sheep.

What is the going market rate for mutton?

Posted by Fairy Godmother (# 3695) on :

Ok this is a formal protest on behalf of myself and A very naughty boy.

We have been working our backsides off trying to keep that play afloat tonight.

Just because most of the cast are drinking the night away somewhere in Manchester doesn't mean that those of us who happen to take pride in our thespian careers should carry the bozzy beggars.

We will be making representation to our unions - NUFF* and PMIP** - in the hope of a better rate of pay for weekend work, and a larger profile in the billing.

FG & AVNB

* National Union of Film Fairies
** Python Monty Institute of Performers

Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :

*ahem* [Angel]

Posted by A very naughty boy (# 3677) on :

Feeling left out Mary?

Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :

Chance would have been a fine thing tonight! [Roll Eyes]

Still, what a team, eh?

Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :

I think we were amazing. What talent, what improvisation, what a Skoda!

And all that without any musical accompaniment.

There's no need to go on strike. I understand we are to receive the Musical Director's wages for tonight to share between us. He's paid extortionately well and tonight just proved how well we can manage without him. I know he would want us to have it.

Posted by Chief Wise Man (# 3674) on :

I thought you all were boffo!

Bravo!
Kudos!
Well Done Donkey, BVM and Brian.

Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :

Baaaaa.

Posted by bee_of_good_cheer (# 3672) on :

kudos, sheep 3.

have a brownie, dear? [Yipee]

Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :

[Offstage, Sheep 3 looks adoringly at bee_of_good_cheer and techie 1, and then promptly falls asleep.]

Posted by bee_of_good_cheer (# 3672) on :

plaits sheep3's fleece while she is sleeping. ties ends with cerulean ribbons and tiny jingle bells. leaves a baggie of timothy and sweet clover for sheep to dispense at her discretion.

Posted by Director (# 3664) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
I think we were amazing. What talent, what improvisation, what a Skoda!

And all that without any musical accompaniment.

There's no need to go on strike. I understand we are to receive the Musical Director's wages for tonight to share between us. He's paid extortionately well and tonight just proved how well we can manage without him. I know he would want us to have it.

Ahem!

There was my little musical contribution, you know. I did try to get the Teletubbies, but they were already booked up. [Yipee]

Well done, though everyone. I'll be putting in my nominations for the awards asap. [Big Grin]

Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
There's no need to go on strike. I understand we are to receive the Musical Director's wages for tonight to share between us. He's paid extortionately well and tonight just proved how well we can manage without him. I know he would want us to have it.

Is that what you know? You know wrong.

Posted by Equity Deputy (# 3673) on :

Ran 14 Dec 19:56 - 15 Dec 12:01 [16 hr 5 min]
243 posts, 5 pages
21 Cast Members participated
injury to A very naughty boy [Brian] - kicked by sheep
No firearms use
Cast in order of appearance: Musical Director; Narrator; Virgin Mary; Sheep 3; The Donkey; Jesus' Evil Twin; A very naughty boy; Angel 2; Tour manager; Fairy Godmother; Rudolph the Red-nosed Sheep; Even Lowlier Shepherd; Director; Baby Jesus; Chief Stage Manager; Chief Wise Man; The Cow; Passer-by 3; Angel 5; Techie 1; Joseph

We have now had appearances on the main stage from everyone whose sock number I know except General Dogsbody [splosh]; Black Angel [Peronel]; Peasant (3rd on the left) [Cliona]; Pontius Pilot [Simon] - who has appeared in the office, and your humble reporter (also in the office)

Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :

I am extremely tired from all this thespianism, but at least I don't have a hangover [Big Grin]

Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Virgin Mary:
I am extremely tired from all this thespianism, but at least I don't have a hangover

Yes, I'm glad I don't have a hangover as well. But I am ill *sympathetic awwwwww's* and very tired and only half way round my room (stripping wallpaper that is).

Now then, I would like to report to the Tealady and the Medic. I need some medicine or the Play may be without a Musical Director.

*da da daaaaaa*

Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :

[Sheep 3 awakes, notices her fleece feels odd, and gives herself a good shake, only to immediately stop in alarm at a sudden tinkling noise]

Baaaaa?

[Tries shaking again, and again stops to listen for the tinkling noise]

Baaaaaaaaaaaa.

[She slowly wanders off, moving in starts and stops, trying to understand this noise which is following her around]

Baa.

Posted by Lowly Shepherd (# 3693) on :

quote:
We will be making representation to our unions - NUFF* and PMIP** - in the hope of a better rate of pay for weekend work, and a larger profile in the billing.

FG & AVNB

* National Union of Film Fairies
** Python Monty Institute of Performers

PMIP. Didn't they used to be part of MPPI (Monty Python Performing Institute)?

Splitters!

Posted by Equity Deputy (# 3673) on :

As Deputy In Real Live has Audition ^h^h^h^h job interview early in am, final report is likely to be late....

Deputy report:

Interim on Scene 7:
Ran 15 Dec 20:01 - 16 Dec 01:41 [5 hr 41 min]
239 posts, 5 pages
22 Cast Members participated
rumour of damage to cat [request to Jedi Knight to investigate same]
No firearms use
Cast list later....

Posted by Stable Cat (# 3657) on :

hullo, lads, the cats human minder here again, no damage to my little darling, but you should check out that evil henchman, think somene slipped him some of that, um, whatsit, lds? in his tea. he seems to be hallucinating rather badly.

Posted by First-aider (# 3665) on :

*dispenses Mr Men plasters and antiseptic in the appropriate places*

Posted by Equity Deputy (# 3673) on :

Deputy report:

Scene 7 final:
Ran 15 Dec 20:01 - 16 Dec 11:59 [15 hr 58 min]
255 posts, 6 pages
29 Cast Members participated
Rumours of damage to Cat proved false
No firearms use (but display of weapons and implements of destruction)

Cast in order of appearance: Musical Director; Narrator; Sheep 3; Dragon; Wise Man 2; Stable Cat; Tour manager; Chief Wise Man; Rudolph the Red-nosed Sheep; Herod; Chief Stage Manager; Evil Henchman; Understudy; Jesus' Evil Twin; The Star in the East; Sheep 1; Chief Comic Shepherd; Wise Guy; Angel 3; Deputy Chief Shepherd; Passer-by 3; Angel 1; Jedi Knight; Angel 6; Phil the Wise Guy; Strings; Angel 5; Camel Driver; Spare Shepherd

Note: the following members of The Cast have not yet posted biographical notes in the Programme. As bio's provide another chance for stars to shine, I encourage those so minded to go to the Programme Thread

Lowly Stage Hand; Strings; Wise Man 2; First-aider; Gift of Gold; Dragon; Chief Wise Man; Wardrobe; Black Angel; A very naughty boy; St. Elizabeth; Peasant (3rd on the left); Even Lowlier Shepherd; Lowly Shepherd; Pontius Pilot; General Dogsbody; Jesus' Evil Twin; Wise Guy; The Star in the East; The Donkey

Posted by Herod (# 3649) on :

Call that a review?

Pah!

That critic wouldn't know a future OBE receiver if he came up and recited the complete works of Shakespeare at him.

[Recited with original spelling errors remaining intact, perchance?]

[ 17. December 2002, 13:42: Message edited by: Musical Director ]

Posted by Lowliest Shepherd (# 3650) on :

Right-o I am back from a break with soon to be Mrs Lowliest Shepherd [Smile]

in Baltimore, so no PCs for the past 5-days.

However I have been practicing my lines for the shepherds glorious entrance and our dramatical stage appearance.

Posted by Equity Deputy (# 3673) on :

Deputy report:

Scene 8 final:
Ran 16 Dec 19:57 - 17 Dec 11:55 [15 hr 58 min]
304 posts, 7 pages
29 Cast Members participated
No firearms use (but Jedi light saber deployed)

Cast in order of appearance: Director; Narrator; Virgin Mary; The Cow; Musical Director; Fairy Godmother; Joseph; Jedi Knight; Jesus' Evil Twin; Chief Stage Manager; Sheep 3; Evil Henchman; Fourth Angel; Chief Angel; Herod; Chief Comic Shepherd; Rudolph the Red-nosed Sheep; Angel 3; Third Singer; Passer-by 3; The Donkey; Deputy Chief Shepherd; bee_of_good_cheer; Sheep 1; Phil the Wise Guy; Angel 6; Baby Jesus; Strings; Miss Ship of Fools 2002

This marks the most active scene yet - first to go into seven pages. During the first 3.75 hours, the Flood Index * reached .93

*Flood Index - a figure of 1.0 = 1 post every two minutes

Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Equity Deputy:
This marks the most active scene yet - first to go into seven pages. During the first 3.75 hours, the Flood Index * reached .93

*Flood Index - a figure of 1.0 = 1 post every two minutes

but flood control = 90 secs, not 120.

A

Posted by Virgin Mary (# 3653) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Angel 1:

quote:
Originally posted by Equity Deputy:
This marks the most active scene yet - first to go into seven pages. During the first 3.75 hours, the Flood Index * reached .93

*Flood Index - a figure of 1.0 = 1 post every two minutes
but flood control = 90 secs, not 120.

A

Yes, it just feels like a lot more when you're trying to post on the thread and avoid cross posting!!!! [Embarrassed]

Posted by Equity Deputy (# 3673) on :

RE Flood Index - I know the interval is 90 sec, but 2 minutes makes for easier maths. I could have done a scale of one to four arks, but couldn't figure out how to draw them in ascii!

Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on :

of course. You must be sick of the flood control Mary!

A

Posted by Equity Deputy (# 3673) on :

Deputy In Real Live has another Audition ^h^h^h^h job interview early in am, and this scene has made her dizzy so.... final report is likely to be late....

Deputy report:

Interim on Scene 9:
Ran 17 Dec 20:10 - 18 Dec 00:26 [4 hr 16 min]
232 posts, 5 pages
20 Cast Members participated
No firearms use
Cast list later....

Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on :

Um, hate to be a bother, but I'm a bit worried over Chief Shepherd's being upset with my middle-classness and my having a same-sex life-partner (Rowen).... may be forced to sue or something if I get emotional about this... unless it is actually in the script, and not just Chief's prejudices coming through....

[Wink]

Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on :

quote:
“Fear not,” the other angels said
“For we will deal with him.”

*stamps foot* I am NOT a him. I have swirly skirts, and big boots, and excessive eyeliner.

So there.

Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :

Fear not, Spare Shepherd, we are an all-inclusive politically-correct bunch here at the Theatre. And anyone who doesn't agree will be taken outside and left with the other wasters, wussies, welshmen, and wimps.

Besides, do you know what goes on in some of the dressing rooms while you lot are busy on stage? Good grief, if my granny were alive she'd turn in her grave.

Posted by Fourth Angel (# 3647) on :

quote:
Black Angel pouted:
I am NOT a him. I have swirly skirts, and big boots, and excessive eyeliner.

And that still could describe any number of male goths I've seen....

Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on :

Musical Director- thanks for your comforting words. Rowen and I feel much better, and are gonna go out and get drunk now, between scenes- do join us if you want to....
Or indeed, any of you Angels.

Posted by Spare Shepherd (# 3690) on :

Upon reflection, we might just go to bed. It's awful late in Oz...

Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :

[Sheep 3 wanders into the office the next morning, looking rather the worse for wear, and starts nosing around hoping to find some Alka-Seltzer]

Baaah.

[Shouldn't have lapped up quite so much of that spilled drink last night on the hillside.]

Baaaaaah [Projectile]

Posted by Understudy (# 3717) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 3:
[Sheep 3 wanders into the office the next morning, looking rather the worse for wear, and starts nosing around hoping to find some Alka-Seltzer]

Baaah.

[Shouldn't have lapped up quite so much of that spilled drink last night on the hillside.]

Baaaaaah

Understudy hands the Sheep some of her spare Resolve (TM). *I feel your pain* [Projectile]

Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Black Angel:
*stamps foot* I am NOT a him. I have swirly skirts, and big boots, and excessive eyeliner.

So there.

Very sorry, Black Angel.

My only defence (and it's a poor one) is that I was writing while at work, pretending to be in an IT meeting, and getting slagged off for something that someone else had failed to do, so checking facts was a little tricky.

Sorry.

Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on :

There, Black Angel, an entire verse of narration just for you. Is that better?

Posted by Black Angel (# 3676) on :

*sobs*

A whole verse? Just about me?

I'm speechless!

[Angel]

[paint the wings black, and you've got it]

Posted by Assorted Strings (# 3652) on :

Fellow thespians, I wish to bring a complaint on behalf of my alter ego, kingsfold.

Herod has moose-napped Sven (scene 8), who was supposed to be visiting her. This is not.on.

I just hope Sven drinks Herod's palace dry, and misbehaves with all his concubines [Snigger]

Posted by Herod (# 3649) on :

somehow, I doubt that'll be happening.

Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :

[Sheep 3 is beginning to think that the Reviewer is getting very nasty and mean. Could our Union officials find our who he was betting with, and lost to, which has saddled us with this incompetent moron?]

Bah.

Posted by Equity Deputy (# 3673) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sheep 3:
[Sheep 3 is beginning to think that the Reviewer is getting very nasty and mean. Could our Union officials find our who he was betting with, and lost to, which has saddled us with this incompetent moron?]
Bah.

Just remember, that in the play Waiting for Godot, when a couple of folks are exchanging insults, the capper that reduces all to silence is Crr....iiii ...tic.. !

Posted by Chief Wise Man (# 3674) on :

I just stumbled across the critics reviews.

Harsh, dude.

I did learn a new word: solipsism. Kewl. Didn't know there was a name for it. I quite like the idea of having my own parallel universe.

But, as for Mr. Critic's harping on showing up on time and all, YOU try organizing a herd of cats across 1/3 the world's timezones. The curtain goes up in early afternoon in my part of the world and there's a paycheck to attend to and traveling to do and all that. So what if the action doesn't kick in for 4-6 hours. At least it happens.

Posted by Equity Deputy (# 3673) on :

Greeting to all -

I *have* gotten rather behind on reports, so I'll get caught up now in one big post:

Deputy reports:

Final on Scene 9:
Ran 17 Dec 20:10 - 18 Dec 12:01 [15 hr 51 min]
349 posts, 7 pages [new high]
26 Cast Members participated
Director absent IFE [illness or family emergency] [no phone access]
No firearms use

Cast in order of appearance: Musical Director; Narrator; Sheep 3; Even Lowlier Shepherd; Chief Comic Shepherd; Sheep 1; Stable Cat; Rudolph the Red-nosed Sheep; Deputy Chief Shepherd; Angel 1; Fourth Angel; Chief Stage Manager; Black Angel; Spare Shepherd; Angel 3; Lowly Shepherd; Chief Angel; Passer-by 3; Fairy Godmother; Techie 1; Jedi Knight; Sheep 2; Angel 6; Strings; Angel 5; Lowliest Shepherd

This scene also set a record in terms of activity in its second half - from half after midnight to curtain down, there were 117 posts on 2 pages, with 14 participating.
(usually second half posting has been around 3 dozen or so)

Final on Scene 10:
Ran 18 Dec 20:03 - 19 Dec ~3:30
251 posts, 5 pages
27 Cast Members participated

Cast in order of appearance: Musical Director; Narrator; Deputy Chief Shepherd; Even Lowlier Shepherd; Angel 6; Sheep 3; Chief Comic Shepherd; Mother Mary; Joseph; Fairy Godmother; Rudolph the Red-nosed Sheep; Wardrobe; Spare Shepherd; The Cow; Angel 1; Sheep 1; Evil Henchman; Jesus' Evil Twin; Chief Angel; Stable Cat; Chief Stage Manager; bee_of_good_cheer; Lowliest Shepherd; Angel 5; Baby Jesus; Strings; Passer-by 3

Final on Scene 11:
Dark 4:00-5:00 in memoriam Miss Molly
Ran 19 Dec 19:53 - 20 Dec 04:56 [14 hr 58 min]
240 posts, 5 pages
28 Cast Members participated

Cast in order of appearance: Musical Director; Narrator; Mother Mary; Wise Man 2; Joseph; Chief Stage Manager; Fairy Godmother; Sheep 3; Stable Cat; Sheep 1; Phil the Wise Guy; Gabriel; Angel 3; Black Angel; Fourth Angel; Rudolph the Red-nosed Sheep; The Cow; Chief Angel; Deputy Chief Shepherd; Chief Wise Man; Passer-by 3; Techie 1; The Donkey; Spare Shepherd; Director; Baby Jesus; Strings; Angel 5

Final on Scene 12:
Dark 22:00-23:00 in memoriam Miss Molly
Ran 20 Dec 19:53 - 21 Dec 04:56 [8 hr 3 min]
149 posts, 3 pages
22 Cast Members participated

Cast in order of appearance: Director; Narrator; Stable Cat; Musical Director; Fairy Godmother; Rudolph the Red-nosed Sheep; Mother Mary; bee_of_good_cheer; Baby Jesus; Sheep 3; Herod; Chief Angel; Gabriel; Jesus' Evil Twin; Tour manager; Angel 1; The Cow; Passer-by 3; Chief Wise Man; Chief Stage Manager; Joseph; The Donkey

Posted by Equity Deputy (# 3673) on :

Deputy report:

Final on Scene 13:
Ran 21 Dec 20:03 - 22 Dec [ 15 hr 58 min]
396 posts, 8 pages [new high]
20 Cast Members participated [almost new low]
firearms were used; also flaming sword
nudity

Cast in order of appearance: Musical Director; Narrator; Phil the Wise Guy; Chief Wise Man; Wise Man 2; Passer-by 3; Herod; Tour manager; Wise Guy; Stable Cat; Fairy Godmother; Angel 1; Deputy Chief Shepherd; Evil Henchman; Sheep 3; Joseph; Angel 6; Chief Stage Manager; Spare Shepherd; Rudolph the Red-nosed Sheep

This scene broke the previous total set in scene 9 of 349 total posts/7 pages and set a new record in terms of activity in its second half and even exceeding all of scene 12 - from half after 1 am to about 7:30, there were 151 posts on 3 pages, with 12 participating. (usually second half posting has been around 3 dozen or so)

Never has so much been done by so little or something like that (I've just barely had coffee). I even posted this report with a half hour of curtain down.

Confidential to Phil the Wise Guy - NIFOC?

Posted by Chief Wise Man (# 3674) on :

who'da thunk? Critic seems to have gotten himself some judging by last review.

Posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd (# 3698) on :

Where's the cast party then? [Big Grin]

Posted by Angel 6 (# 3709) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Equity Deputy:
Just remember, that in the play Waiting for Godot, when a couple of folks are exchanging insults, the capper that reduces all to silence is Crr....iiii ...tic.. !

Yes, but you all fear us. (And rightly so.)

Posted by Angel 1 (# 3661) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd:
Where's the cast party then?

yeah, where is the party?

A

Posted by Narrator (# 3680) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Deputy Chief Shepherd:
Where's the cast party then?

Hold your horses (and your sheep). We haven't quite closed yet. Patience, please.

Posted by Assorted Strings (# 3652) on :

Yes, but there's no harm in making plans for the cast party...

Where's the Fairy Godmother with those hip-flasks when you need 'em?

Posted by Angel 6 (# 3709) on :

We HAD the party. And it was a good one, too.

It's not OUR fault you were all passed out by then.

Posted by Equity Deputy (# 3673) on :

Deputy report:

Final on Scene 14:
Ran 22 Dec 20:00 - 23 Dec [ 15 hr 59 min]
484 posts, 10 pages [new high <very>]
30 Cast Members participated
injuries only to reputations :-)
firearms were used

Cast in order of appearance: Musical Director; Narrator; Sheep 3; Mother Mary; Angel 1; Herod; Evil Henchman; The Donkey; Fairy Godmother; Director; Gift of Gold; Rudolph the Red-nosed Sheep; A very naughty boy; Pontius Pilot (finally); Black Angel; Deputy Chief Shepherd; Wardrobe; Sheep 1; Passer-by 3; Chief Wise Man; Joseph; bee_of_good_cheer; Angel 6; Wise Guy; Chief Stage Manager; Even Lowlier Shepherd; Angel 3; Strings; Baby Jesus; Equity Deputy (last new poster)

A production summary report will follow shortly.

Posted by Equity Deputy (# 3673) on :

Final Deputy Report

The Cast

Miss Molly, Honourary Magi in memorium

And the following 59 performers, in order of appearance: (those who appeared in 10 or more scenes and/or posted 100 or more times are marked in bold; those who appeared in every scene are marked with a star]:

*Musical Director - ChrisT; *Narrator - Chapelhead; Virgin Mary /Mother Mary - Smudgie; *Sheep 3 - jlg; *Chief Stage Manager - Bessie Rosebride; Dragon - Welsh Dragon; Gift of Gold - Annie P; Director - Miffy; Fourth Angel - Inanna; Tour manager - Eutychus; Stable Cat - Nicolemrw; Angel 1 - Jenny Ann; Herod - Stoo; *Rudolph the Red-nosed Sheep - Mrjuice; Tealady - SpO-On-n-ng; Chief Comic Shepherd - Moth; Joseph - Jesuitical Lad; Spare Shepherd - Rowen; Sheep 2 - Woozle; Angel 6 - Rossweisse; Sheep 1 - Jack the Lass; Jesus' Evil Twin - Erin; Deputy Chief Shepherd - Madferret; Chief Wise Man - IncurablyGeek; Angel 3 - Duo Seraphim; *Passer-by 3 - W; Wardrobe - Eanswyth; A very naughty boy - Strathclydezero; bee_of_good_cheer - Zephirine; Phil the Wise Guy - kenwritez; Evil Henchman - Sarkycow; Jedi Knight - Jedijudi; Techie 1 - mysticlisa; Lowly Shepherd - Busyknitter; Angel 2 - Huia; Gabriel - Gabriel; Assorted Strings - kingsfold; Camel Driver - Rhisiart; Miss Ship of Fools 2002 - Clare; Angel 5 - sophs; Lowly Stage Hand - flev; Lowliest Shepherd - Robert Miller; Fairy Godmother - Nanny Ogg; St. Elizabeth - Elizabeth Anne; Understudy - Mrs Tubbs; Chief Angel - WorkInProgress; First-aider - Quincy; Wise Man 2 - Alan Cresswell; Wise Guy - Kelly Alves; The Star in the East - Erin; The Cow - Jonah; Mrs. Herod - Jemmi; Third Singer - Nightlamp; Baby Jesus - Beethoven; The Donkey - Lady A; Even Lowlier Shepherd - Seigfried; Black Angel - Peronel; Pontius Pilot - Simon; Equity Deputy - Joan Rasch

These folks, by my calculation, made a total of 3784 on-stage posts.

In terms of number of posts (which combine appearances on and off stage), Smudgie as Virgin Mary/Mother Mary was number one by far - reaching nearly 500 posts! Nobody else managed to get much past half of that. The remaining top 10 (all who achieved at least 100 posts:

Musical Director[ChrisT]; Sheep 3[jlg]; Chief Stage Manager[Bessie Rosebride]; Dragon[Welsh Dragon]; Director[Miffy]Herod[Stoo]; Rudolph the Red-nosed Sheep[Mrjuice]Chief Comic Shepherd[Moth]; Joseph[Jesuitical Lad]; Angel 6[Rossweisse]; Deputy Chief Shepherd[Madferret]; Evil Henchman[Sarkycow]; Fairy Godmother[Nanny Ogg]; Wise Guy[Kelly Alves]

(Yes, I know that's more than ten, but let's call it statistical license and a desire not to leave anyone out).

Most posts by category: Random Comedy Parts, Traditional (around 700 each)
Also productive: Angels, Backstage, Shepherds, and the miscellaneous category containing villains, flyers, lumps of gold, etc
Most productive category for small number of members: Wise Men, Musicians
Most unexpected high number of posts: The Shed

The Dumbledore Christmas List award for performing with a pair of socks goes to Smudgie for doing the role of the BVM under two names and to Erin for ably performing both the Evil Grin ^h^h^h^h Twin and The Star.

Finally (you can stop cheering now), I've had a blast following this project and compiling statistics. Thanks to all of you, and thanks to The Management for all the hard work which made this possible.

Posted by Assorted Strings (# 3652) on :

quote:
Posted by Equity Deputy:
In terms of number of posts (which combine appearances on and off stage), Smudgie as Virgin Mary/Mother Mary was number one by far - reaching nearly 500 posts! Nobody else managed to get much past half of that.

One could almost believe she's addicted, n'est-ce pas? [Two face]

Posted by Musical Director (# 3651) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Assorted Strings:

quote:
Posted by Equity Deputy:
In terms of number of posts (which combine appearances on and off stage), Smudgie as Virgin Mary/Mother Mary was number one by far - reaching nearly 500 posts! Nobody else managed to get much past half of that.
One could almost believe she's addicted, n'est-ce pas?

I think that is beyond any reasonable doubt now...

Posted by Sheep 3 (# 3663) on :

Um, could someone direct me to the room where the Ship 12-Step Program is having its meeting? I was told that anyone with a star by his or her name is required to attend. Something about "getting a life"?

Posted by chief stage manager (# 3658) on :

Yes, I hardly know what to do with all my free time since the play's run has ended! [Wink]

Curtain time every evening was only 3pm in my neighborhood, so I didn't get a lot else done either. Especially on those days I was supposed to be working! [Razz]

A few nights I didn't get to sign on til late night for Ship time.

Now that I'm thoroughly addicted, I suppose I'll have to visit the Cafe more often. [Smile]

Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Musical Director:

quote:
Originally posted by Assorted Strings:

quote:
Posted by Equity Deputy:
In terms of number of posts (which combine appearances on and off stage), Smudgie as Virgin Mary/Mother Mary was number one by far - reaching nearly 500 posts! Nobody else managed to get much past half of that.
One could almost believe she's addicted, n'est-ce pas?
I think that is beyond any reasonable doubt now...

I am contemplating suing Simon, Miffy and the Ship of Fools. I had resisted all hint of addiction until some pusher conned me into the nativity play and forced me to spend hour after hour at my computer night after night. Were it not for them, I would not be logged on now, but it is in danger of becoming a habit. I shall be consulting with my lawyers.... Moth, where are you?

UBB.classic^TM 6.5.0