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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Mary in Sunday school
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Simon
Editor
# 1
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Posted
Joke submitted by Matt:
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day, the teacher called on her while she was napping: "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?"
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
"God Almighty!" shouted Mary, and the teacher said, "Very good!" and Mary fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior," but Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
"Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary, and the teacher said, "Very good!" and Mary fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question: "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" Again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"
The teacher fainted.
[ 07. July 2005, 00:01: Message edited by: Simon ]
Poll information
This poll contains 2 question(s). 141 user(s) have voted.
You can't view the results of this poll without voting.
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Eternal memory
Posts: 3787 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2001
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Anselm
Shipmate
# 4499
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Posted
It might be helpful to distinguish between whether people find the joke simply 'morally' offensive or more specifically 'religiously' offensive.
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carpe diem domini
...seize the day to play dominoes?
Posts: 2544 | From: The Scriptorium | Registered: May 2003
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Amazing Grace*
Shipmate
# 4754
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Posted
This is the first one I've seen that I haven't seen many times before.
(Filed in memory banks, to be retold.)
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.sig on vacation
Posts: 2594 | From: Sittin' by the dock of the [SF] bay | Registered: Jul 2003
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The Scrumpmeister
Ship’s Taverner
# 5638
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Posted
Another good 'un.
From what people have posted elsewhere about the offence they have taken in these jokes, either we have a shipful of prudes or I have a much higher offence threshold than average.
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If Christ is not fully human, humankind is not fully saved. - St John of Saint-Denis
Posts: 14741 | From: Greater Manchester, UK | Registered: Mar 2004
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The Bede's American Successor
Curmudgeon-in-Training
# 5042
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Back-to-Front:
From what people have posted elsewhere about the offence they have taken in these jokes, either we have a shipful of prudes or I have a much higher offence threshold than average.
Which reduces the chance of Simon posting the joke I sent, unless he really wants to create unrest.
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This was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride of wealth and food in plenty, comfort and ease, and yet she never helped the poor and the wretched.
—Ezekiel 16.49
Posts: 6079 | From: The banks of Possession Sound | Registered: Oct 2003
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The Scrumpmeister
Ship’s Taverner
# 5638
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Posted
If he doesn't, please would you PM it to me?
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If Christ is not fully human, humankind is not fully saved. - St John of Saint-Denis
Posts: 14741 | From: Greater Manchester, UK | Registered: Mar 2004
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Glimmer
Ship's Lantern
# 4540
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Posted
Just can't find jokes about children uttering blasphemy very funny at all. Heard it a long time ago anyway, probably at school where it belongs. Can't imagine being offended by it though.
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The original, unchanged 4540.
The Temple area, Ankh Morpork
Posts: 1749 | From: Ankh Morpork, Dorset | Registered: May 2003
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mr cheesy
Shipmate
# 3330
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Posted
Needs a better punch-line. How about 'if you prick me with that pin one more time, I'll tear you in half'.
Otherwise tedious.
C
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arse
Posts: 10697 | Registered: Sep 2002
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Best one so far. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
All the jokes have only rated one on offensiveness so far. So try me....
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Glimmer:
Just can't find jokes about children uttering blasphemy very funny at all.
Blasphemy? She gave the right answers ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
quote:
Originally posted by Cheesy*:
Needs a better punch-line. How about 'if you prick me with that pin one more time, I'll tear you in half'.
But then it loses the comic touch that it's a concievable answer to the question "what did Eve say to Adam after her 23rd child?".
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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EpiscoWhat
Shipmate
# 9660
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Posted
Funniest i've seen posted so far.
I'm still waiting for Simon to post my joke.....
tommy
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Now up and sailing: Fair Havens, the private board for LGBTQ Shipmates. Interested in joining? PM me for details.
Posts: 290 | From: Deep South, USA | Registered: Jun 2005
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
One of my kids told me this joke last week. I could see the punch line coming from a mile away.
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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Ricardus
Shipmate
# 8757
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Posted
For some reason I initially equated Mary with the BVM, which made it seem more offensive than it actually is ...
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Then the dog ran before, and coming as if he had brought the news, shewed his joy by his fawning and wagging his tail. -- Tobit 11:9 (Douai-Rheims)
Posts: 7247 | From: Liverpool, UK | Registered: Nov 2004
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jlg
What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98
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Posted
It wasn't the BVM? Rats. Can I down-grade my vote?
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001
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Newman's Own
Shipmate
# 420
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Posted
This is the funniest joke I've seen on this board thus far.
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Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn
Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
Go the extra mile, tell us why.
P
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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da_musicman
Shipmate
# 1018
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Posted
The punchline is alright but the construct of the joke isn't. Why would a sunday school teacher be asking about Adam and Eve's 23rd child? For a joke which reads like a true story this inconsistency jarred.
Posts: 3202 | From: The Dreaming | Registered: Jul 2001
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Newman's Own
Shipmate
# 420
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Posted
I enjoy jokes which have to do with misunderstanding of what someone says, in whatever presentation. I also enjoyed this joke because it reminded me of how it actually is in a classroom - teacher trying to get the kids' attention, the kid who is not at all interested, the other 'trying to help.'
I agree that the one flaw in this joke is the ending - it otherwise sounds very much like 'true stories' most of us could tell. A variation - perhaps a reference to Eve's pain and suffering bearing children - could work far better. The first two questions the teacher asks are standards, but no one would ask about Eve's words to Adam after 23 children.
I know - perhaps I'm being too analytical. ![[Smile]](smile.gif) Yet I have found that jokes, religious or not, which I really like usually are amusing because of their relation to 'real life.'
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Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn
Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001
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Zeke
Ship's Inquirer
# 3271
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Posted
I first heard this when I was a schoolgirl(though it was a man in an adult Bible study class and an old lady poking him with her umbrella), and it was very funny then because it was such a naughty joke. The sexual element made it hilarious to us. Now it doesn't seem too funny, though perhaps it's because it's lost the element of surprise.
It's really almost the same joke as the one about the nuns being questioned by Saint Peter, though the part about the self-righteous classmate adds another level.
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No longer the Bishop of Durham
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If men are so wicked with religion, what would they be without it? --Benjamin Franklin
Posts: 5259 | From: Deep in the American desert | Registered: Sep 2002
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
Heard a long time ago, when I was a wee lad. Go0od retelling, though.
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Long-Johns Silver
Apprentice
# 1763
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Posted
quote:
Needs a better punch-line. How about 'if you prick me with that pin one more time, I'll tear you in half'.
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
Did you not get the inuendo? (Mary got it in her endo) ![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
I loved this one when I was in primary school 40 years ago, so maybe it's lost it's edge just a bit. The version I knew was simply "what did Eve say to Adam", which perhaps made the punch line a bit less expected. - still good though.
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"Smile", they said "it could be worse".
So I did...
And it was.
Posts: 49 | From: "The Church" - Church Inn that is :-) | Registered: Nov 2001
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Papio
Ship's baboon
# 4201
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Posted
It was pretty funny, because it annihilates the idea that Adam and Eve were anything other than human.
Of course, it implies that the Garden of Eden was not a paradise.
But then, as I don't believe in a literal fall from paradise, that does not offend me.
Hilarious!
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Infinite Penguins.
My "Readit, Swapit" page
My "LibraryThing" page
Posts: 12176 | From: a zoo in England. | Registered: Mar 2003
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Zeke
Ship's Inquirer
# 3271
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Posted
The punchline in the version I heard back in the Stone Age (old lady poking sleepy man) was something like "Stick that in me one more time and I'll wrap it around your neck!"
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No longer the Bishop of Durham
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If men are so wicked with religion, what would they be without it? --Benjamin Franklin
Posts: 5259 | From: Deep in the American desert | Registered: Sep 2002
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
I don't remember that one, love. I think the retelling was just right here.
It reminds me of how I dozed in a night class at University of California San Diego. The girl next to me said I was sleepinig with my eyes open and I did mange to answer the instructor's questions. Just; so a sharp pin to the bum would not have been helpful! I did get a 'B' if I remember...this course at UCSD was called 'California Real Eastate Appraisal'.
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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The Exegesis Fairy
Shipmate
# 9588
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Posted
*snickers*
I remember this joke. I laughed the first time, I'm still laughing now.
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I can only please one person a day.
Today is not your day.
Tomorrow doesn't look good either.
Posts: 500 | From: the clear blue sky | Registered: Jun 2005
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churchgeek
Have candles, will pray
# 5557
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by da_musicman:
The punchline is alright but the construct of the joke isn't. Why would a sunday school teacher be asking about Adam and Eve's 23rd child? For a joke which reads like a true story this inconsistency jarred.
That's exactly what I thought too. The 3rd question is obviously contrived just to get to the punch line, and that ruins it for me. But the first 2 questions/responses were funny, so the joke doesn't totally sink or swim depending on its punch line.
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I reserve the right to change my mind.
My article on the Virgin of Vladimir
Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004
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spacecadet
Apprentice
# 10131
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Posted
i just do not find children blaspheming to be funny. ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
from a South African perspective, it's very much what we hear, and battle with, every day. christians are mocked for objecting when, in our multi-cultural society, the name of our God remains the expletive of choice.
i agree that the third question seems contrived, which detracts from what might otherwise have raised a laugh.
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"your arms are the arms that
hung shining stars in deepest space" - vicky beeching
Posts: 11 | From: the mother ship | Registered: Aug 2005
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