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Posted by Edith (# 16978) on :
 
I suppose most teachers are familiar with the child who is convinced that God's first name is Peter, 'Thanks Peter God, but I was flummoxed what I was observing a student in a Year 4 Class last week. The question was 'Why do we thank God for the drains?' Both the student and I we're mystified. 'You know' she said 'where the watchmen is in the waste places and they have to mind the drains'.

Light dawned.

Our God reigns. It will never be the same again.

Are there any other mishearings that put a new vision in the mind?
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
I was always fond of "And lead a snot into temptation."
 
Posted by Lothiriel (# 15561) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Edith:
I suppose most teachers are familiar with the child who is convinced that God's first name is Peter, 'Thanks Peter God, ...
I was flummoxed until I said this to myself several times in an r-less accent. Pond difference there.

One of my favourite mis-hearings is the opening line of the Easter hymn "Low in the gravy lay Jesus my saviour".
 
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
(Ken's here again.) [Big Grin]
 
Posted by Fr Weber (# 13472) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Lothiriel:
quote:
Originally posted by Edith:
I suppose most teachers are familiar with the child who is convinced that God's first name is Peter, 'Thanks Peter God, ...
I was flummoxed until I said this to myself several times in an r-less accent. Pond difference there.

One of my favourite mis-hearings is the opening line of the Easter hymn "Low in the gravy lay Jesus my saviour".
With the mighty chorus "Up from the gravy and toast!"
 
Posted by justlooking (# 12079) on :
 
I'm quite fond of :

"My hope to follow Julie is in thy strength alone"
 
Posted by Diomedes (# 13482) on :
 
As a child I was always quite happy singing about 'A daily round the common' - exercise is good and you'd probably take the dog.
I was more curious about the mysterious furniture shop but 'Task will furnish all we need to ask' so that was OK too.
 
Posted by Beethoven (# 114) on :
 
Op.2 was happily singing one of the songs from one of her 'Jesus CDs' when I heard her proclaim, 'He leads through green pasta, I'll walk with him always'.

Dinner time will never be the same again...

[ 22. May 2012, 13:23: Message edited by: Beethoven ]
 
Posted by bib (# 13074) on :
 
(The Angel Gabriel) - "most highly flavoured gravy, gloria." Also at school saying the Lord's prayer (traditional version) I thought the words were "Our Father we chart in heaven, hello be thy mane."
 
Posted by Balaam (# 4543) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by bib:
I thought the words were "Our Father we chart in heaven, hello be thy mane."
It is the words introducing the Lord's Prayer that have been misheard the most. We even have a shipmate named after it.
 
Posted by Jonah the Whale (# 1244) on :
 
Close relative of that elusive Canadian reptile, the prairie tortoise.
 
Posted by Belle Ringer (# 13379) on :
 
I guess I was an early reader still when I fell in love with the hymn "there's a wildness in God's mercy like the wildness of the sea." DECADES later I read the hymn and saw the word is wideness; I've never liked the hymn since, stripped of the exuberance of wildness.
 
Posted by BroJames (# 9636) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by justlooking:
I'm quite fond of :

"My hope to follow Julie is in thy strength alone"
It goes with "You shall go out with Joy…"
 
Posted by Pure Sunshine (# 11904) on :
 
I used to think that 'The Lord of the Dance' featured the line 'and I'll lead you all in the dance settee'. Was that just me?
 
Posted by kingsfold (# 1726) on :
 
quote:
posted by BroJames:

quote:

Originally posted by justlooking:
I'm quite fond of :

"My hope to follow Julie is in thy strength alone"
It goes with "You shall go out with Joy…"
which may or may not be better than "full enjoyment of Felicity"
 
Posted by Gracious rebel (# 3523) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Pure Sunshine:
I used to think that 'The Lord of the Dance' featured the line 'and I'll lead you all in the dance settee'. Was that just me?
No it wasn't just you! [Biased]

We used to sing a song in Sunday School that began 'I met Jesus at the crossroads, where the two ways meet...' As a young child for some bizarre reason this brought to mind an enormous set of butchers scales weighing slabs of meat, set up at the crossroads like a signpost. The name of this device must have been called a 'Too' for this was 'where the too weighs meat'.
 
Posted by Angloid (# 159) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Belle Ringer:
I guess I was an early reader still when I fell in love with the hymn "there's a wildness in God's mercy like the wildness of the sea." DECADES later I read the hymn and saw the word is wideness; I've never liked the hymn since, stripped of the exuberance of wildness.
More a misreading than a mishearing: there's a Widnes in God's Mersey... and I'm sure there is, as it's only down the road from here.
 
Posted by Angloid (# 159) on :
 
In primary school we used to sing the prayer 'Lord keep us safe this night, secure from all our fears' and I never understood why I had to wade in amongst everyone else's fears to seek my own.
 
Posted by Spike (# 36) on :
 
... through Him we offer you arseholes and bodies ...
 
Posted by M. (# 3291) on :
 
I think I've posted this before on one of our periodic threads on this theme...

As a young child, I could never understand the hymn that has the line:

'Worthy the Lamb that died, they cry, to be exalted thus..'

Worthy the Lamb was obviously like Larry the Lamb. It was sad that he died, which was obviously why they were crying, but the rest just didn't make a proper sentence.

M.
 
Posted by cliffdweller (# 13338) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by kingsfold:
quote:
posted by BroJames:

quote:

Originally posted by justlooking:
I'm quite fond of :

"My hope to follow Julie is in thy strength alone"
It goes with "You shall go out with Joy…"
which may or may not be better than "full enjoyment of Felicity"
...or "a virtuous woman who can find? For her price is far above rubies..." (Prov. 31) followed by, "how much does Ruby charge?"
 
Posted by Timothy the Obscure (# 292) on :
 
quote:
I suppose most teachers are familiar with the child who is convinced that God's first name is Peter, 'Thanks Peter God...
Nonsense, everybody knows God's name is Harold: "Our father who art in heaven, Harold be thy name..."
 
Posted by Steve H (# 17102) on :
 
When I was small, I thought one line in Charles Wesley's childrens hymn "Gentle Jesus, meek and mild" was "Pity mice in Plicity". I wondered where Plicity was, and why it was such a bad place for mice. According to my parents, I also thought that the next line was "suffer me to come to tea", but I don't remember that. Pity my simplicity, indeed!

[ 23. May 2012, 06:41: Message edited by: Steve H ]
 
Posted by Steve H (# 17102) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Timothy the Obscure:
everybody knows God's name is Harold: "Our father who art in heaven, Harold be thy name..."
That, apparently, was what my late uncle Harold thought when he was small, also "Hark the Harold angels sing". He always was a conceited bugger.
 
Posted by Steve H (# 17102) on :
 
Let me be the first to mention that this kind of mishearing is called a Mondagreen, from the old Scottish folk-song, which includes the lines, in the misheard version, "They hae killed the Earl o' Moray, and Lady Mondagreen" (really "laid him on the green").
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Steve H:
Let me be the first to mention that this kind of mishearing is called a Mondagreen
[Slight Hosting]
The first on this occasion, but the term is familiar on The Ship.

PS Multiple posts tends to come across as a trifle monopolising.
[/Slight Hosting]

Firenze
 
Posted by WhyNotSmile (# 14126) on :
 
In Sunday School we used to sing a song called something like "My Jesus left Heaven's bright glory" which included the line "But He's coming back in great splendour".

For years I heard it as "He's coming back in September". It never seemed to bother me that He blatantly didn't come back in any of the Septembers in these years.
 
Posted by Gill H (# 68) on :
 
I also sang about the the Lord of the darned settee.

Not a hymn, but for years I sang a line from "When you wish upon a star" as "Like a boat out of the blue, fate steps in and sees you through" instead of "bolt". I'd probably not heard of a bolt from the blue, and the image of a rescue boat emerging from a blue mist across a blue lake made sense to me.
 
Posted by Spike (# 36) on :
 
At primary school, we used to sing "The Lord's my shepherd I'll not want" and I used to think "Why won't I want him?"
 
Posted by Steve H (# 17102) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:

PS Multiple posts tends to come across as a trifle monopolising.
Firenze
Well, if we had a bit longer to edit posts, they wouldn't be necessary, would they?

[ 23. May 2012, 13:26: Message edited by: Steve H ]
 
Posted by Jante (# 9163) on :
 
Im sure I'm not the only one who sang "The kettle a lowing" and thought it was an other word for boiling!!!
 
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
In the Divine Praises, "Blessed be her holy and immaculate conception" came across as "Blessed be her holy and immaculate contraption." I've heard of chastity belts, but really . . . .
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Steve H:
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:

PS Multiple posts tends to come across as a trifle monopolising.
Firenze
Well, if we had a bit longer to edit posts, they wouldn't be necessary, would they?
You have as long to compose a post as you wish. You have as long to view it in Preview post as you wish. There is a limited time in which to recall a post for editing, but no limit that I am aware of, to the time you may spend making changes.

All of which has nothing to do with your tendency to make a number of different sequential posts.

If you want to learn to respond to more than one point, or poster, in a single post I can recommend this thread as a place to acquire the necessary coding skills.

Firenze
Heaven Host
 
Posted by Nenya (# 16427) on :
 
When my daughter was little she had a friend called Polly so it made perfect sense to her to sing that "Polly is the name of the Lord" - "holy" being a more difficult concept.

I've known children (and some adults [Biased] ) to "Come on and sellotape, sellotape, sellotape and string" and there's the legendary child who christened his teddy "Gladly" after the hymn "Gladly My Cross-Eyed Bear."

Arseholes and bodies... how much does Ruby charge... [Killing me]
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Nenya:
I've known children (and some adults [Biased] ) to "Come on and sellotape, sellotape, sellotape and string"
"Cardboard and sellotape, sellotape, sellotape and string, sellotape and string, drawing pins".
 
Posted by Nenya (# 16427) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
quote:
Originally posted by Nenya:
I've known children (and some adults [Biased] ) to "Come on and sellotape, sellotape, sellotape and string"
"Cardboard and sellotape, sellotape, sellotape and string, sellotape and string, drawing pins".
Ah. The Authorised Version. [Biased]
 
Posted by Steve H (# 17102) on :
 
Not a hymn, and not funny particularly, but there's a mondagreen in Joan Baez's recording of 'The Day they Drove Old Dixie Down'. She knew the song from a 50s recording by the original singers of it, a country group I can't remember the name of, but had never seen the lyrics printed, so she sang what she thought she'd heard, which at one point is "Like my father before me / I'm a working man", but the correct words are "...I will work the land".
 
Posted by georgiaboy (# 11294) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
In the Divine Praises, "Blessed be her holy and immaculate conception" came across as "Blessed be her holy and immaculate contraption." I've heard of chastity belts, but really . . . .
It is said that the late (American author) Dorothy Parker was expelled from a RC school for girls for referring to the Immaculate Conception as the Spontaneous Combustion. [Yipee]
 
Posted by Niminypiminy (# 15489) on :
 
... 'And lead us not into Thames Station': these are the right words, aren't they?
 
Posted by Balaam (# 4543) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Niminypiminy:
... 'And lead us not into Thames Station':
But deliver us from weevils.
 
Posted by Jengie Jon (# 273) on :
 
Ok slightly different but related. How many think that in
quote:
My heart is weak and poor
until it master find;
it has no spring of action sure,
it varies with the wind.
the metaphor refers to the weather and not to a clockwork instrument and therefore have sung the wrong word at the end.

Jengie

[ 23. May 2012, 19:45: Message edited by: Jengie Jon ]
 
Posted by Avila (# 15541) on :
 
I can describe exactly where I was sitting, in a parade service as a guide when it dawned on me that I had previously misunderstood the line in And can it be - 'Thine eye diffused a quickening ray, I woke the dungeon flamed with light'

I had imagined it as my eye seeing the quickening ray (not sure how as I don't wake until the next line, but hey that's childhood logic. It was a real 'aha' moment whenI realised I had it the wrong way around - like turning a map the other way up and it suddenly making sense!
 
Posted by Just Me (# 14937) on :
 
When a knight-one hispers in the stories of old ...

I was clear knights were involved somehow - though not sure exactly what hisperring was.
 
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Balaam:
It is the words introducing the Lord's Prayer that have been misheard the most. We even have a shipmate named after it.
We also have a Shipmate named for the hymn line, Gladly the Cross I'll bear.
 
Posted by Enigma (# 16158) on :
 
I always have to restrain myself from a smile when I hear and then remember:
'In the name of the Father, the Son and in the hole he goes'. Could be why I have to stay a Baptist for the time being.
 
Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Balaam:
It is the words introducing the Lord's Prayer that have been misheard the most. We even have a shipmate named after it.
Thank you, Balaam! After all these years on the Ship I *still* miss the regional accent jokes.
[Hot and Hormonal]
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by BroJames:
goes with "You shall go out with Joy…"
One of our mates in a church choir we both were in was named Joy: we always looked at her funny when the chorus came up...
 
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
I think far too many men regard their peter as God!
 
Posted by Aggie (# 4385) on :
 
Reminds me of "A Monk Swimming", Malachi McCourt's memoirs of his childhood in Limerick, so called because as a child he used to think that the words in the Hail Mary were "a monk swimming", rather than "amongst women".

When I was at primary school, school assembly was always closed with us singing "God be in my head". I remember asking my mother one day, why God should be at "my end and my tea party."

[ 24. May 2012, 10:49: Message edited by: Aggie ]
 
Posted by beatmenace (# 16955) on :
 
I was reminded of this one by the 20 year aniversary airing of 'I get so excited Lord, I'm forgiven' by our music group on Sunday.

The Chorus goes 'I'm forgiven, I'm forgiven, I'm forg......Well you get the picture.

Unfortunately when sung in a large crowd (or any crowd) it sound unmistakeably like they are singing 'I'm a Gibbon, I'm a Gibbon'..etc.

Now I know why this tune quietly went out of fashion in the last Century!
 
Posted by MiceElf (# 4389) on :
 
We used to sing Shirley, Goodness, and Mercy, shall follow you.... all the days, all the days of your life.

I just think that's bang out of order, and all three of them should be arrested for stalking.
 
Posted by georgiaboy (# 11294) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Niminypiminy:
... 'And lead us not into Thames Station': these are the right words, aren't they?
On this side of the pond it's generally 'lead us not into Penn Station' -- which given that venue's confusion should continue 'but lead us OUT of Penn Station.' [Snigger]
 
Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :
 
Of course there's the Bus Driver's Prayer.
 
Posted by Jonah the Whale (# 1244) on :
 
Back in the seventies we had a song "How lovely on the mountains are the feet of him" with the rousing chorus: "I got brains!", or, as originally intended, our god reigns.

More recently my kids have likened the lyrics "defender of the weak", to manager of the month, or goal of the season. Though this last is a deliberate misreading.
 
Posted by birdie (# 2173) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Jonah the Whale:
More recently my kids have likened the lyrics "defender of the weak", to manager of the month, or goal of the season. Though this last is a deliberate misreading.
I've always thought that! Sounds like a footballing award.
 
Posted by Gill H (# 68) on :
 
Me too. Shame, I really like the song otherwise.
 
Posted by St. Gwladys (# 14504) on :
 
Our CU president at the time was one Andrew Raines, which fits quite nicely into the chorus of that song
In our fellowship youth group, the chorus of that song which starts "I get so excited Lord every time I realise", became I'm a gibbon"
 
Posted by Steve H (# 17102) on :
 
There's a South-African hymn, 'We are marching in the light of God', which is sometimes sung in the original African language as well as English, if the words are available. The first verse of the African version sounds vaguely like "Cook your hamster in a white-wine sauce", which is what I've heard sung (and, I admit, sung myself) before now.

The words, in the original and the usual English version.

[ 25. May 2012, 18:30: Message edited by: Steve H ]
 
Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by beatmenace:
I was reminded of this one by the 20 year aniversary airing of 'I get so excited Lord, I'm forgiven' by our music group on Sunday.

The Chorus goes 'I'm forgiven, I'm forgiven, I'm forg......Well you get the picture.

Unfortunately when sung in a large crowd (or any crowd) it sound unmistakeably like they are singing 'I'm a Gibbon, I'm a Gibbon'..etc.

Now I know why this tune quietly went out of fashion in the last Century!
Along those lines,

quote:
When to the temple Mary went
and took the holy Child,
him did the aged simian see...
I suppose all those animals around at her baby's birth prepared Mary to hand off her child to an old monkey!

[ 25. May 2012, 21:15: Message edited by: churchgeek ]
 
Posted by Galilit (# 16470) on :
 
My brother and I loved to change "To be a pilgrim" in every verse of that classic because "pilgrim" both rhymed and scanned with our family name.
My brother would even sometimes dedicate the whole hymn to our mother who in the manner of the 1950's changed her name on marriage!
 
Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :
 
One of the sopranos in our choir always wants to sing that as "to be a penguin".
quote:
Originally posted by Galilit:
... in the manner of the 1950's changed her name on marriage!
I think it's happened since then. I got married in 1988 and changed mine. [Big Grin]
 
Posted by Steve H (# 17102) on :
 
I changed my name when I got married - from "Steve" to "Oy!".
 


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