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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Appropriate Decoration For Holy Wangs
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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784
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Posted
I read an apt quote by Crœsos in the Circus
quote:
If penis-having is the critical component to priesthood, why not whip out the Holy Wang during services? You know, to more accurately symbolize and represent the maleness of God.
Then, I read Horseman Bree's follow up question
quote:
Should it be dressed for the occasion? Do any ribbons or other appurtenances have to be in seasonal colours?
It just seems like a question that needs an answer or two. Given that I have little or no knowledge about appropriate dress for Holy Wangs, I thought I ought to throw the question out to a wider audience for authoritative answers.
So, what decorations are appropriate and are there seasons for certain colors, etc.?
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
You could not have waited and posted on the Circus Offense thread when it comes round again? ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Robert Armin
All licens'd fool
# 182
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Posted
Only if it's also knotted at the hip.
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Keeping fit was an obsession with Fr Moity .... He did chin ups in the vestry, calisthenics in the pulpit, and had developed a series of Tai-Chi exercises to correspond with ritual movements of the Mass. The Antipope Robert Rankin
Posts: 8927 | From: In the pack | Registered: May 2001
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
I won't post it here, but there's a limerick about The Bishop of Winchester Junction.
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Caissa
Shipmate
# 16710
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Posted
With liturgical coloured condoms with pin pricks in them for use in RC churches.
Posts: 972 | From: Saint John, N.B. | Registered: Oct 2011
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deano
princess
# 12063
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Posted
Would High-Church vicars have the insence burner waived over it?
Would low-church vicars insist on it being simply a memorial of good times past.
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"The moral high ground is slowly being bombed to oblivion. " - Supermatelot
Posts: 2118 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: Nov 2006
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Organ Builder
Shipmate
# 12478
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Posted
As an aside, this thread would have been amusing in a completely different way had it been opened in Ecclesiantics!
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How desperately difficult it is to be honest with oneself. It is much easier to be honest with other people.--E.F. Benson
Posts: 3337 | From: ...somewhere in between 40 and death... | Registered: Mar 2007
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lily pad
Shipmate
# 11456
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Posted
Is this thread sort of like Julie Andrews singing, "These are a few of my favourite things", to take the children's minds off the storm?
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Sloppiness is not caring. Fussiness is caring about the wrong things. With thanks to Adeodatus!
Posts: 2468 | From: Truly Canadian | Registered: May 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Dick jokes are always and forever a balm for the soul.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784
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Posted
I was thinking about a few basic colors like pinkish, browns and yellows.
Flags would probably be out in most cases.
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Tortuf:
Flags would probably be out in most cases.
I should think flags would help most cases.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Tortuf:
Flags would probably be out in most cases.
No problem for female clergy then: they can fly the red flag...
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Imersge Canfield
Shipmate
# 17431
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Posted
Did nt early religion start off like this ?
What went wrong ?
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'You must not attribute my yielding, to sinister appetites'
"Preach the gospel and only use jewellry if necessary." (The Midge)
Posts: 419 | From: Sun Ship over Grand Fenwick Duchy | Registered: Nov 2012
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Horseman Bree
Shipmate
# 5290
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Posted
Oh dear. Red flags have too many associations with charging bulls. Would one have to qualify as a matador for the church?
OTOH, the appropriate waving of the flag might serve as part of the liturgical action, while providing a role for the assistant (of whatever gender) near the altar.
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It's Not That Simple
Posts: 5372 | From: more herring choker than bluenose | Registered: Dec 2003
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Tortuf:
I was thinking about a few basic colors like pinkish, browns and yellows.
Anbody else think this is just dull, dull, dull, dull?
Here is a color scheme that expresses both the richness of our christian heritage and the Joy of the Lord as expressed in sheer gratitude for color. Bright, vibrant, orgiastic COLOR.
Y'all laugh at Bishop Schori, but she know what time it is.
[ 29. November 2012, 21:35: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Perhaps a scheme that is differentiated by rank.
For priests, for bishops. Might help with those who are not as, erm, spiritually endowed.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Here is a color scheme that expresses both the richness of our christian heritage and the Joy of the Lord as expressed in sheer gratitude for color.
And you notice there is a shepherdess watching her flocks by night...
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Well, judging by a current Hell thread, cannot trust the shepherds.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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John Holding
Coffee and Cognac
# 158
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Posted
After briefly contemplating the use one might make of a monstrance -- and turning away with a queasy feeling, I did recall that the sacred metal for altar and liturgical hardware is brass -- most of us can't afford silver or gold. So what we need is an appropriately designed piece of brass work to display and to sustain. How to attach it to a chasuble...
John
Posts: 5929 | From: Ottawa, Canada | Registered: May 2001
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Would have thought any decoration would be sustained by the, erm, sub-structure. After all, it is only about an hour, yeah?
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Hey, some preparations claim to be effective for 4 hours. Which means they could sustain an Easter vigil.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Would have thought ones ardor for God would be enough to sustain without aid. Is this what they mean by the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak?
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784
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Posted
Well, my flesh gets weak after . . .
I just don't want to talk about that anymore.
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
You're the one who started the thread, bozo. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
That is to say, I find your sudden end to participation a bit... premature.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784
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Posted
At least I can walk away with my head upright.
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002
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Mullygrub
Up and over
# 9113
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Posted
Yes, better something than nothing, I suppose.
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Smurfs are weird. And so am I.
Posts: 634 | From: Melbskies | Registered: Feb 2005
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Mullygrub
Up and over
# 9113
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Posted
[on the side]
By the way, this thread, when showing on the main board, has its title cut to "Appropriate Decoration"; I presumed it was going to be a Christmas-themed thread.
Sigh. How I love The Ship.
[/on the side]
Okay, back to your regularly scheduled program.
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Smurfs are weird. And so am I.
Posts: 634 | From: Melbskies | Registered: Feb 2005
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
Surely you wrap it in a maniple, after all "no maniple, no mass". Clearly, randomly draping the maniple over an arm in denial of its original function. was just modernist prudery.
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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The Machine Elf
Irregular polytope
# 1622
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Here is a color scheme that expresses both the richness of our christian heritage and the Joy of the Lord as expressed in sheer gratitude for color.
And you notice there is a shepherdess watching her flocks by night...
Not with a wang but a wimple.
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Elves of any kind are strange folk.
Posts: 1298 | From: the edge of the deep green sea | Registered: Oct 2001
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
And after that, how about :
"Your love is surprising
I can feel it rising.."
Followed by that one about raising your Ebenezer...
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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Holy shit. Take me TME, I'm yours. ![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Vulpior
Foxier than Thou
# 12744
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chapelhead:
All together now:
The purple-headed mountain,
the...
I was scrolling through the thread, hoping that no-one had mentioned episcopal purple, and this came along. I have now wiped soup from the iPad.
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I've started blogging. I don't promise you'll find anything to interest you at uncleconrad
Posts: 946 | From: Mount Fairy, NSW | Registered: Jun 2007
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
As long as it's just soup.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784
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Posted
Now I understand why guys get iPads instead of computers with keyboards.
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Caissa:
With liturgical coloured condoms with pin pricks in them for use in RC churches.
If I'm being picky, I would guess that being purely decorative/symbolic the RC wouldn't insist on permiability.
If taking the condom route, may I suggest glow-in-the-dark? They have the advantage of being visible from a distance at candlight services.
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Lead kindly light, amidst the encircling gloom?
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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roybart
Shipmate
# 17357
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Posted
Surprised no one has raised the circumscision issue. Surely there is much theological significance in that.
Another question. Does ritual genital exposure constitute a kind of evangelicalism?
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"The consolations of the imaginary are not imaginary consolations."
-- Roger Scruton
Posts: 547 | From: here | Registered: Sep 2012
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by roybart:
Another question. Does ritual genital exposure constitute a kind of evangelicalism?
You're sure you don't mean 'evangelism'? Either that, or some elements of the Church are way wilder than previously thought.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
Jesus clearly left the Holy Wang undecorated - so should all who follow him.
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Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
The guardian letters page today quoting Shakespeare on this very issue: quote:
There's a divinity that shapes our ends, Rough hew them how we will.
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by John Holding:
I did recall that the sacred metal for altar and liturgical hardware is brass -- most of us can't afford silver or gold. So what we need is an appropriately designed piece of brass work to display and to sustain. How to attach it to a chasuble...
I'll never hear the expression "brass balls" quite the same way again.
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by roybart:
Surprised no one has raised the circumscision issue. Surely there is much theological significance in that.
Some monks have hoods. Some don't.
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002
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