Ship of Fools: Jesus doesn't give a damn!

Thread: Jesus doesn't give a damn! Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by gerbilfodder (# 17526) on :

I was unfortunate enough to be brought up in a fundamentalist Christian home. [Devil]

We attended a pentecostalist church where Sunday after Sunday we were 'favoured' with blood curdling hell-fire sermons, which scared the life out of me. I suffered from awful nightmares as a consequence. At eleven I did the 'born again' bit as I was frigtened of going to hell, I was even quite sickeningly devout for a while! [Hot and Hormonal]

However, you might try talking to Jesus, but the guy doesn't answer! As a young teenager I had a problem causing me a considerable amount of angst, which I certainly couldn't share with my parents. I tried talking to Jesus about it, but I never had any sense that he was listening to me, even though I believed in him. If he couldn't come through for a child and give her a sense of his presence, and some comfort, either he doesn't give a damn, or more likely isn't around to do so! Incidently I had to live with that problem, which gave me many sleepless nights until I was about 15, when I was old enough to realise it was much less significant than I imagined.

By the time I left home to marry at 19, the doubts about my faith were overwhelming and it was a relief when it gradually faded away never to be rekindled. At the age of 63, I now regard myself as an agnostic. A deity might exist in a dimension somewhere, but I am pretty certain the one portrayed in the Bible isn't it.

Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :

Feel better?

Fly Safe, Pyx_e

p.s. Jesus is always talking to me and telling to do crazy shit.

Posted by Jon in the Nati (# 15849) on :

quote:
Jesus doesn't give a damn!

And neither do any of us.

Posted by gerbilfodder (# 17526) on :

I think you are confusing Jesus with the devil! [Big Grin]

Posted by QLib (# 43) on :

Well, good call, gerbilfodder.

Mileages vary, obviously. The way I see it is that God doesn't very often broadcast direct - and, if He does, you need a well-tuned transmitter to pick it up. Or just a lucky break. FWIW my view is that your early church provided a duff transmitter. I'm anthropomorphising wildly here and I don't really mean this as literally as it sounds, but I don't think G-d/Jesus would choose to broadcast on such a transmitter because to do so would only bolster the credibility of that church. You're better off as an agnostic.

I hope your marriage was successful and happy and that others were able to give you the love and comfort that you deserve.

Pyx_e - No doubt He tells you to do crazy shit because He knows you're crazy anyway. Or perhaps just a Fool for Christ's sake.

Posted by gerbilfodder (# 17526) on :

My husband, now 65, was a devout Christian too but became a convinced atheist. Sadly in 2006 he had a brain haemorrhage which has left him with substantial brain damage. This is awful for him as he is a highly intelligent guy and can no longer do anything of an academic nature, which frustrates him terribly!

He claims that whilst in the coma, following the bleed in his brain, he had some sort of experience which convinced him beyond all doubt, if he needed any convincing, that there was no deity or afterlife.

Posted by Mr Clingford (# 7961) on :

quote:
Originally posted by gerbilfodder:
...He claims that whilst in the coma, following the bleed in his brain, he had some sort of experience which convinced him beyond all doubt, if he needed any convincing, that there was no deity or afterlife.

This is terribly intriguing - can you say more?

Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :

Mind, Pyx is worrying me that that voice telling me to do silly things is Jesus, and there I've been ignoring him all these years.

YMMV, of course.

Posted by QLib (# 43) on :

I'm very sorry to hear about your husband. I have a dear friend - only recently turned 60 - who has just had a very debilitating stroke.

Do you know the zen story of the rowing boat?
You're in a boat, and suddenly you get bumped from behind by another boat - you fall and bang your head - nasty accident, could have killed you. You pick yourself up and turn round, intending to give the person in that other boat a piece of your mind. But there is no one in the boat - it's just adrift. So what now?

OK, so if you believed in God, you would both at least have the satisfaction of shaking your fist at him. But maybe that would just be a distraction from dealing with 'So what now?'

Don't think I'm ungrateful, but I'm just wondering what moved you to come here and share your truth with us.

Posted by gerbilfodder (# 17526) on :

Forums are a much needed displacement activity where I am concerned!

Posted by Anselmina (# 3032) on :

You're in good company then!

Posted by Twilight (# 2832) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Mr Clingford:

quote:
Originally posted by gerbilfodder:
...He claims that whilst in the coma, following the bleed in his brain, he had some sort of experience which convinced him beyond all doubt, if he needed any convincing, that there was no deity or afterlife.
This is terribly intriguing - can you say more?

It is intriguing! Usually people come back from their near death experience talking about going toward the light, experiencing peace and love, seeing dead relatives, seeing Jesus, etc. Now, I'm always skeptical about these stories and believe they might just have been vivid dreams but I can't imagine experiencing nothing at all and considering that to be proof of something.

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Twilight:

quote:
Originally posted by Mr Clingford:

quote:
Originally posted by gerbilfodder:
...He claims that whilst in the coma, following the bleed in his brain, he had some sort of experience which convinced him beyond all doubt, if he needed any convincing, that there was no deity or afterlife.
This is terribly intriguing - can you say more?
It is intriguing! Usually people come back from their near death experience talking about going toward the light, experiencing peace and love, seeing dead relatives, seeing Jesus, etc. Now, I'm always skeptical about these stories and believe they might just have been vivid dreams but I can't imagine experiencing nothing at all and considering that to be proof of something.

I'm not intriugued for one moment. On returning from a NDE believers say they have seen Jesus, white light and the like, while non-believers have seen nothing. I find it quite likely that everyone sees pretty much what they expect to see.

Posted by Latchkey Kid (# 12444) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Jon in the Nati:

quote:
Jesus doesn't give a damn!
And neither do any of us.

Some of us do.

It's not surprising that Jesus is confused the devil when those fucking kakangelical churches are already confused and preach a kakangelion.

"On that day many will say to me, “Lord, Lord, did we not preach hellfire and damnation in your name and try to scare the shit out of people in your name to make them convert?” Then I will declare to them, “I never knew you; go away from me, you evildoers. (Matt 7)

Posted by Mr Clingford (# 7961) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:

quote:
Originally posted by Twilight:

quote:
Originally posted by Mr Clingford:

quote:
Originally posted by gerbilfodder:
...He claims that whilst in the coma, following the bleed in his brain, he had some sort of experience which convinced him beyond all doubt, if he needed any convincing, that there was no deity or afterlife.
This is terribly intriguing - can you say more?
It is intriguing! Usually people come back from their near death experience talking about going toward the light, experiencing peace and love, seeing dead relatives, seeing Jesus, etc. Now, I'm always skeptical about these stories and believe they might just have been vivid dreams but I can't imagine experiencing nothing at all and considering that to be proof of something.
I'm not intriugued for one moment. On returning from a NDE believers say they have seen Jesus, white light and the like, while non-believers have seen nothing. I find it quite likely that everyone sees pretty much what they expect to see.

Yes, 'nothing' is a negative, a non-experience, whereas gerbilfodder's husband did have an experience. That is how I find it intriguing.

Posted by Evensong (# 14696) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Latchkey Kid:

"On that day many will say to me, “Lord, Lord, did we not preach hellfire and damnation in your name and try to scare the shit out of people in your name to make them convert?” Then I will declare to them, “I never knew you; go away from me, you evildoers. (Matt 7)

Posted by Twilight (# 2832) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Mr Clingford:

quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:

quote:
Originally posted by Twilight:

quote:
Originally posted by Mr Clingford:

quote:
Originally posted by gerbilfodder:
...He claims that whilst in the coma, following the bleed in his brain, he had some sort of experience which convinced him beyond all doubt, if he needed any convincing, that there was no deity or afterlife.
This is terribly intriguing - can you say more?
It is intriguing! Usually people come back from their near death experience talking about going toward the light, experiencing peace and love, seeing dead relatives, seeing Jesus, etc. Now, I'm always skeptical about these stories and believe they might just have been vivid dreams but I can't imagine experiencing nothing at all and considering that to be proof of something.
I'm not intriugued for one moment. On returning from a NDE believers say they have seen Jesus, white light and the like, while non-believers have seen nothing. I find it quite likely that everyone sees pretty much what they expect to see.
Yes, 'nothing' is a negative, a non-experience, whereas gerbilfodder's husband did have an experience. That is how I find it intriguing.

Exactly. When someone's expectation is that there will be nothing and then he comes back and says something absolutely convinced him -- well what was it? For lack of any example I keep picturing him saying, "I saw God and he told me he didn't exist."

Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :

I'm reminded of a short sequence from the golf movie Caddyshack.

quote:
Carl Spackler in "Caddyshack":
So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier....

So we finish the 18th and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

The deal with some of the Jesus eternal life ideas are just like that, big hitter that Jesus. Like it's okay if you get totally screwed over with nothing for the effort in this life, because in the next you will receive total eternal life and stuff. Yup, we got that going for us. Which is nice.

Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on :

Gerbilfodder--

Welcome to the Ship! [Smile]

Lots of ex-fundies, semi-fundies, and questioning fundies here. I'm in the first camp, though I still have some stuff in my "don't know; sort out later" file.

Re hell: have you read Rob Bell's "Love Wins"? Worth a read!

Posted by PeteC (# 10422) on :

My, my, my!

You little cuddlebums should be happy I no longer host here. For, if I did, this thread would be locked up tighter than a cow's arse in fly-time. Or in All Saints. Depending how charitable I felt.

Posted by Jon in the Nati (# 15849) on :

Indeed.

I woke up this morning, embraced my wife, and kissed her (ON THE MOUTH, mind you), and that was more hellish than this thread.

So another newcomer who probably TTWACW has decided she's an atheist who, curiously, can't stop being mad at God for not existing. Or some darn thing.

Posted by Latchkey Kid (# 12444) on :

Forget it, PeteC.
You've moved on.

Posted by RooK (# 1852) on :

quote:
Originally posted by gerbilfodder:
Forums are a much needed displacement activity where I am concerned!

Because you want to discuss something you're actually thinking about, or because you're a stupid fucking old troll?

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Latchkey Kid:
Forget it, PeteC.
You've moved on.

Whereas I haven't, and Pete's thoughts are eerily reminiscent of my own... I'm reading someone's "Hello, here's my life story" thread in Hell? Why, exactly? Because being agnostic is edgy?

The only reason any leniency has been shown is because (1) the self-described rodent food is new, and (2) she has already had one thread closed today.

But listen here: when your fundamentalist parents told you that you were going to Hell for not believing the Bible anymore, they didn't mean the Ship version. Okay?

Read the guidelines, get to know the Ship, and post things in the right place.

And as for displacement, we will happily demonstrate the scientific theory by throwing you overboard and looking for the miniscule increase in water level that will result.

orfeo
Hellhost

[ 31. January 2013, 07:17: Message edited by: orfeo ]

Posted by Robert Armin (# 182) on :

Hey folks, a newbie made a mistake about which board to post on. Even though this is Hell is there any need to be rude to her?

Welcome gerbilfodder. Good to have you here, and I hope you find the Ship helpful. Please ignore the assholes - they can't help themselves. (I put it down to poor potty training.)

Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Robert Armin:
Hey folks, a newbie made a mistake about which board to post on. Even though this is Hell is there any need to be rude to her?

Well, we want her to have the full "Hell Experience" don't we?

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Robert Armin:
Hey folks, a newbie made a mistake about which board to post on. Even though this is Hell is there any need to be rude to her?

Spare the rod and spoil the child.

Posted by gerbilfodder (# 17526) on :

What a charming lot some of you are. [Big Grin]

Posted by Matt Black (# 2210) on :

We aim to displease.

Posted by Evensong (# 14696) on :

quote:
Originally posted by gerbilfodder:
What a charming lot some of you are.

Grins and smileys and goodwill will get you only so far as a newbie in Hell.

Prepare for shit.

Batten the hatches babe. Close down that nice, sweet heart.

Otherwise, bail now.

(n.b. It's not personal, it's just Hell).

Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :

Can we stop playing with our food now?

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

So who exactly are we calling to Hell here - gf's Fundamentalist family, his Hellfire preacher, or Jesus for not giving a damn?

Posted by Matt Black (# 2210) on :

I think GF's a her, but I may be wrong.

Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :

quote:
GF

Capitalisation, first sign of being doomed.

Fly Safe, P

Posted by Evensong (# 14696) on :

I thought being spoken of in the third person was the first sign.

Posted by Anselmina (# 3032) on :

quote:
Originally posted by gerbilfodder:
What a charming lot some of you are.

Folks are as equally charming in Purgatory, but if you were hoping for a discussion, at least there they can't be so rude or personal.

Take the time to read through a couple of older and longer threads on each of the boards to get a feel of the place. Enjoy!

Posted by Anselmina (# 3032) on :

Sorry, hosts - unintentional Junior Hosting [Hot and Hormonal]

. Here allow me to present you with this liver newly ripped from my body as a propitiatary sacrifice!

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

Personally I didn't mind that one and would let you keep your liver.

But then I've been off my food for a couple of days.

Posted by Moo (# 107) on :

quote:
Originally posted by gerbilfodder:
What a charming lot some of you are.

The ship takes getting used to. I would strongly advise you to read, mark, and inwardly digest the introduction at the top of each board, and also the board guidelines.

Then read a few of the longer threads on any board you think you want to post on.

Did you notice the words at the top of the Hell board to the effect that when you post in Hell you are painting a target on yourself? You shouldn't be surprised when people take potshots.

Moo

Posted by Thyme (# 12360) on :

gf - there is a convention that apprentices are treated gently until their 50th post when they achieve shipmate status. After that the gloves are off especially in Hell.

Don't be surprised when it happens and you find yourself addressed as rat poison or something more inventive and offensive. Shipmates are amazingly inventive about names.

You may not believe in a Hell after death but in this version, in life, people can be hurt.

(Apologies if this is junior hosting)

Posted by leo (# 1458) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
Jesus is always talking to me and telling to do crazy shit.

Yes - but you don't have to obey him so often.

[ 31. January 2013, 14:42: Message edited by: leo ]

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

Hostly Notice

OK, you've had your fun with this latest n00b, who doesn't come over as a sixty-something, but that's t'interweb for you.

gerbilfodder: one of your dumb threads has been closed already. If this one shows no purpose beyond a focus for the peanut gallery, it will join it PDQ.

Sioni Sais
Hellhost

Posted by redderfreak (# 15191) on :

Is this thread sending Jesus to hell because he doesn't give a damn?

Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on :

quote:
Originally posted by redderfreak:
Is this thread sending Jesus to hell because he doesn't give a damn?

Well, there's precedent! [Biased]

We called God to Hell, some years back. IMHO, one of our best threads ever.

Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on :

(Missed the edit window.)

And the CGTH thread has some great posts from absent shipmates.
[Votive]

Posted by Robert Armin (# 182) on :

gerbilfodder, I've tried to send you a Private Message, but failed. The Ship can be a wonderful place but - like any other organisation - it takes a bit of getting used to. In particular, each Board has a different function and ethos.

For the sort of things you have posted about I would recommend All Saints (mutual support) or Purgatory (informed discussion). Hell is for letting off steam, with the warning that others might steam back at you. As, I suspect, you have already discovered. And, as a long time Shipmate with no official standing, I want to apologise for the remarks of Rook, orfeo and Sioni Sais. They are all dear people really, and quite old enough to know better.

(OK - I'm junior hosting and showing disrespect to Hosts and Admins. But really, you lot - grow up!)

Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on :

Oh fuck , now this is going to get interesting.

Posted by Matt Black (# 2210) on :

Indeed; now where did I put my popcorn?

Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Robert Armin:
And, as a long time Shipmate with no official standing, I want to apologise for the remarks of Rook, orfeo and Sioni Sais.

Shove your "apology" up your arse, you tedious fuckstain. You do not speak for the Ship, and barring a succession of improbably tragic angling accidents resulting in the lobotomisation of the entire H&A cohort and an unprecedented outbreak of Dupuytren's Contracture amongst the few hundred or so Shipmates who are more worthy of that status than you, you never fucking will.

Posted by Evensong (# 14696) on :

quote:
Originally posted by rolyn:
Oh fuck , now this is going to get interesting.

Why?

Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Evensong:

quote:
Originally posted by rolyn:
Oh fuck , now this is going to get interesting.
Why?

Because the peanut gallery revels in the vicarious thrill of seeing someone get told off. Sad really, but other than screaming "stop feeding off me" Cool Hand Luke-style, what can you do?

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Robert Armin:
gerbilfodder, I've tried to send you a Private Message, but failed.

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:

quote:
Originally posted by Robert Armin:
gerbilfodder, I've tried to send you a Private Message, but failed.

Correct. gerbilfodder's profile does not permit PMs and emails from Shipmates.

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

Ah. I was forgetting there was actually an option for that.

Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on :

quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Ah. I was forgetting there was actually an option for that.

Honestly, just can't get the staff [Disappointed]

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

Haven't you got a game to run, fish-breath?

Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on :

I'm having fun here, thank you, now that I can't be accused of joining the junior-hosting-ranks [Big Grin]

Now, if you need any other guidance about how the boards work....

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :

Why you little...

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

Now let me see, what was this thread about .....

Oh yes, something totally unlike any of the last umpteen posts.

Hostly Bowler on

Thread closed

Hostly Bowler off

Sioni Sais
Hellhost

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