Ship of Fools: Change Quote by One Letter

Thread: Change Quote by One Letter Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Change a famous quote or quip by one letter (add, subtract, substitute, or transpose) and attribute it to someone else.

PLEASE: ONE PER POST.

Examples:

Jeffrey Dahmer: "What foods these mortals be!"

Michael Jackson: "Here's looking at your kid."

Posted by Hart (# 4991) on :

"If you're going through Hull, keep on going."

Posted by birdie (# 2173) on :

"What doesn't kill you makes you stranger."

(This is indeed true in my life.)

Bother, missed the bit about attribution, sorry.

[ 18. April 2013, 15:43: Message edited by: birdie ]

Posted by Leorning Cniht (# 17564) on :

"Once more unto the beach, dear friends, once more!"

Prince Harry plans his summer holidays.

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

Same letter, in same word, so I hope it qualifies:

"Those who mine don't matter, and those who matter don't mine".

(late) Lady Thatcher.

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

"Thou shalt not omit adultery." Casanova.

Posted by Leorning Cniht (# 17564) on :

"Read my lips: no new taxis."

George H. W. Bush, President of the Washington, DC taxi drivers' cartel.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

"Ask not what your country can do for yo; ask what yo can do for your country."

John F. Kennedy, commenting on the mistaken notion that slang is a cultural phenomenon.

Posted by Leorning Cniht (# 17564) on :

"I feel your rain."

Bill Clinton, celebrating the end of the drought with Arkansas farmers.

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

"I hate a dream" - MLK, after a particularly bad nightmare.

Posted by Timothy the Obscure (# 292) on :

"The audacity of hops."

Barack Obama's comment on the White House Honey Porter.

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :

" I have a dram " - MLK find a fresh bottle of malt

Posted by EtymologicalEvangelical (# 15091) on :

"It is a fine thing to be honest, but it is also very important to be tight."

George Osborne

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :

" Go nest, young man " - Mrs Greeley's encouragement to her marriage averse son

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :

"They shall grow not cold, as we that are left grow cold " - and how many of us have wished that were true on a chilly Remembrance Sunday morning, eh? [Biased]

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :

" While shepherds watched their flocks by light,
All heated on the ground,
The angle of the Lord came down,
And, gory, shone around."

Two for the price of One: A Nightmare on Elm Street meets A Christmas Carol.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

A Tale of Twa Cities

Glasgae 'n' Embra.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

"A Penn saved is a penny earned."

Benjamin Franklin, commenting on what the church might expect to find in the collection basket after the baptism of the founder of Pennsylvania.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

"We'll always have pairs."

Hopeful gambler to his partner

Posted by The Rogue (# 2275) on :

An editor inadvertently re-wrote Shakespeare's piece about Richard III losing his trousers. The line should have been

quote:
A hose, a hose, my kingdom for a hose

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

"Fear not, Marry !"

Gabe misunderstands the message he's to deliver.

Posted by EtymologicalEvangelical (# 15091) on :

"You cannot cool all of the people all of the time."

Wise advice that reminds us that anger management courses are not for everyone.

Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on :

"What I think was behind it? Being hosers!"

Uncle of the Boston Bombing suspects, blaming Canada.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

"What fools these portals be!"

--Arthur Dent on obnoxious sentient doorways from the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation

Posted by Leorning Cniht (# 17564) on :

"What a piece of work is a fan."

Hamlet, ventilation salesman.

Posted by Leorning Cniht (# 17564) on :

"I am that merry wanderer of the right!"

Mark Sanford, explaining how much he enjoys "hiking the Appalachian trail"

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

"It was the best of limes, it was the worst of limes."

Jimmy Buffet, on problems with a recent margarita.

Aside to LC: Lovely reference re. Sanford's "hiking." [Big Grin]

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

A small stop for man, a giant leap for mankind.

My spelling teacher, exagerrating a bit about the use of proper punctuation.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

So man is an island, -- John Donne, commenting on the isolation of the individual.

Posted by Leorning Cniht (# 17564) on :

"Heath, be not proud."

John Donne, Thatcher supporter.

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :

But how can this thread not mention the great work of Mr Bowdler?

Having been sent to a school where "waste not, want not" was almost a religion, we still used a Bowdler edition of Shakespeare.

None of us ever had any trouble in understanding Othello's motivation, having read " She played the trumpet in his bed... " - well, wouldn't YOU be moved to strangle? [Killing me]

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Big Blue football team about to play Wisconsin:

"Badgers? We don't need no stinking badgers."

Posted by EtymologicalEvangelical (# 15091) on :

"Choice dependent on wealth; those are the Tony words."

Yep, Tony, we are sooo glad you've finally admitted it. And how you've been living it since leaving office!!

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :

On the memorial in Highgate Cemetery

Workers of the world untie,
You have nothing to lose but your chins!
[Snigger]

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Sign at baker's, on Good Friday:

Happiness is a warm bun.

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

"Once more unto the beach, once more"

Another happy family holiday.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Medieval warrior, to his arrow:

"Do not go gentle into that good knight."

Posted by EtymologicalEvangelical (# 15091) on :

"I know the British people and they are not passengers - they are divers."

That's right, Dave. We're scouring the seabed to look for all that treasure that's suddenly disappeared in the shipwreck of our economy!

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :

" L'etat, c'est mo "

Cut-off in his prime, I fear.

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

We're not in kangas anymore!

A Kenyan woman activist, denouncing that women in her country have westernized their clothing too much.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

The port you have always with you.

The Earl of Grantham to the guest who hogs the decanter instead of sending it round.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Naomi, to Boaz:

"You can't handle the Ruth!"

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :

Moses, instructing the Israelites on the first Passover:

"Imagine there's no leaven - it's easy if you try."

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Jesus wet.

Edited out of the gospels. A natural result of falling asleep in a fishing boat during a storm.

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

Julie thought she smelled something familiar arising from the shrubbery below her balcony...

Romeo,Romeo! Wherefore fart thou, Romeo?

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

My mind to me a kinkdom is said Dr. Lector, -just so long as no-one checks my downloads.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Loose hips sink ships -- dire warning against the dangers of onboard dancing.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

The loved on

Casanova just kept going.

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :

Had Nathan Hale been a coward, he still wouldn't have been a bigamist.

I only regret that I have but one wife to lose for my country.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Alice, on being too busy to die:

Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for Mel.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Given his well known views on matrimony, I feel sure that what Dr. johnston really meant was The man who is tired of London is tired of wife.

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :

" Oman is an island "

Well, the maps weren't very good in Donne's day...

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

It is a far, far better thin I do than I have ever done. - Sidney Carton invents the perfect biscuit

Posted by ChaliceGirl (# 13656) on :

For cannibals?

If you can't eat them, join them.

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :

...surely its obvious on this site:

Rome, Rome, wherefore art thou, Rome?

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

While we're in a Shakespearean mood . . .

Out, damned snot! Out, I say! -- an oath to accompany nose blowing.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Let us now raise famous men...

Celebrity exhumations goes viral.

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :

Brevity is the soul of wi

at last, an explanation for a weird product name!

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Tu-wit, tu-woo, a merry note
While greasy Joan doth keel the po.

Don't ask.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

There's no use crying over spilled silk.
You've already soiled it by dropping it. Don't risk staining it with tears as well.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

A titch in time is worth nine

One small genius out weighs nine bawny rugby players any day of the week.

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :

In a garden shady, this holy lad

... makes more sense, bearing in mind Auden's proclivities...

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
Let us now raise famous men...

Let us now praise famous ME [Roll Eyes]

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Let us now braise famous men -- cannibalism as a gourmet pursuit.

Posted by AndyB (# 10186) on :

Once upon a time there were three bars

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

And they lied happily ever after.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

The Rod less travelled
Too busy sparing the child?

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Sod's in his heaven, all's right with the world. -- It's certainly a better place now that the old chap has sloughed off his mortal coil.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Give me my pear of burning gold

Atlanta gets tired of apples.

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