Ship of Fools: Friends with whom you disagree?

Thread: Friends with whom you disagree? Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

To visit this thread, use this URL:
http://forum.ship-of-fools.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=70;t=026209

Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :

Some people seem to have friends who agree with them on most or many issues and ideas. I have some of those. But some of the most valued and interesting friends I have (and have had) are those I disagree with.

One that comes immediately to mind is right wing, when I am left of centre, anti-progressive re church where I am well progressed, conservative about many social issues where I am liberal (I would say tolerant to him). What is good about it is the possibility of discussion and learning. I guess because we drink tea and beer together, the friendship works.

Do others have friends you disagree with? What have you got to say about them?

Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :

If I'd only friends who agreed with me on everything, I doubt I'd have any.
We agree were we do, argue where we don't. Not saying everything is wonderful all the time, no relationship is perfect. On the whole, we have more in common than not. After all, life is not all politics.

Posted by Graven Image (# 8755) on :

I have always found friends who march to a different drummer more interesting then those who think as I do. It seems to work when I remember that they do indeed see the world differently then I do. As long as they are good, caring people all is well.

Posted by comet (# 10353) on :

most definitely. Some of my friends are completely batshit crazy on matters political, while I am, of course, the Voice Of Reason™. [Big Grin]

because I'm involved in the theater world, most people assume my politics are left-of-Mao. Some are; most aren't. I'm the last of the red-hot moderates!* but I have dear close friends who are far to the edges at both sides, plus many who float around the middle like me.

and to further screw up the theater stereotype, the current director I'm working with is much more conservative than I; and a former actor I worked with (who was always the first to volunteer for drag parts) actually admits to being registered Republican. We forgive him because he is otherwise mostly sane.

*bonus points to those who get the paraphrase reference.

Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on :

Sophie Tucker. Now give us a difficult reference. [Big Grin]

Posted by comet (# 10353) on :

hot damn you're good!

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

quote:
Originally posted by comet:
most definitely. Some of my friends are completely batshit crazy on matters political, while I am, of course, the Voice Of Reason™.

because I'm involved in the theater world, most people assume my politics are left-of-Mao. Some are; most aren't. I'm the last of the red-hot moderates!* but I have dear close friends who are far to the edges at both sides, plus many who float around the middle like me.

and to further screw up the theater stereotype, the current director I'm working with is much more conservative than I; and a former actor I worked with (who was always the first to volunteer for drag parts) actually admits to being registered Republican. We forgive him because he is otherwise mostly sane.

Over here theatre people vary according to the sector from which they get funded (OK, I'm being mischievous, but only a little).

Wouldn't a registered Republican be likely to be to the left of core Republican voters nowadays, hence 'mostly sane'?

Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on :

Sure. I know a few people who are fans of the Boston Red Sox. I don't get it. To me, non-native Red Sox fans are a step below Yankees fans, because they root for a powerhouse team but think that they are better than people who root for powerhouse teams. At least the non-native Yankees fan knows that he's a tool. But as long as they are willing to take my ribbing and I accept theirs, we get along.

Not trying to be willfully dense here, just putting it in a different light (we are in Heaven after all). We all have issues that define us more than others. In real life, politics are a minor part of who I am. I don't sit down over a beer talk health care policy with people. It's not that I can't. I'd just much rather discuss sports, church, beer, or music. So I have to find different examples.

To give you a more serious example, I recently ran into an old acquaintance who also grew up in the Episcopal Church, and who is also a church geek. I hadn't seen her in ten years, but within five minutes of seeing her, we took up disagreeing about music, what young people want, and all of the other issues that only Church people care about like we hadn't missed a day. Let's face it, people like us are few and far between; if I don't get those discussions out of my system with her, they are just going to sit there and fester.

So that is one reason why you should try to get along with people who disagree with you. There are only a handful of people who are as passionate about certain topics as you are. If you aren't willing to talk with those people, you are just going to bore people who really don't care. You are stuck with them, so try to enjoy it.

Disagreeing with people, within certain bounds, is kind of fun. Don't take it personally, don't be so sure of yourself that you are unwilling to even consider being friends with someone who sees things differently, and you will enjoy life much more. The only person I don't want to be friends with is the person who can't be challenged without melting down.

Posted by BessHiggs (# 15176) on :

Og beat me to it, I was going so say that I have friends who are Yankees fans and 'Bama fans. No accounting for taste.

Most of my friends have vastly different opinions on politics, social issues, religion, etc. It's far more interesting that way. And if I hung out only with folks who agreed with me, I'd be a pretty lonely camper...

Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :

Canadians draw the line at Leafs fans. No-one is friend with them because they are all from Toronto.

Posted by Liopleurodon (# 4836) on :

I have a very dear friend who is massively into astrology and insists that it does have a scientific basis. We did actually discuss it / argue about it once but she started to get very upset and I realised that it was time to STFU about a belief that is clearly very important to her even though I think it's bullshit. She's also into Wicca and a bunch of pseudoscience stuff about crystal healing and the like but it's the astrology that has the potential to really set things off. Now she knows what I think, I know what she thinks, we avoid broaching the subject and all is well. She's possibly the loveliest person I know, and although I'm sure the evidence is against her I've met enough hardcore skeptics who are massive flaming douchebags to know that I don't want to be one of them.

Posted by Caissa (# 16710) on :

I avoid close friendships with right-wingers. Bad for my blood pressure.

Posted by Boadicea Trott (# 9621) on :

quote:
Originally posted by comet:
Some of my friends are completely batshit crazy on matters political, while I am, of course, the Voice Of Reason™.
......
and a former actor I worked with (who was always the first to volunteer for drag parts) actually admits to being registered Republican. We forgive him because he is otherwise mostly sane.

Comet, please may I quote these? [Overused]

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

Most of my friends are left-wing. Some have no religious beliefs and think the idea of an afterlife is a delusion. Almost none of them share more than one or two of my interests.

However they are interesting, intelligent, funny, compassionate and likeable people, and I'm grateful to have them in my life. You can still enjoy each other's company - IMO it's not about finding soulmates who are compatible in lots of respects and are essentially a mirror of yourself, it's about enjoying the differences and other points of view, being able to chat and laugh with each other.

Enjoying the same activities is no guarantee of similar outlook, people can like the same things for very different reasons.

Posted by comet (# 10353) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Boadicea Trott:

quote:
Originally posted by comet:
Some of my friends are completely batshit crazy on matters political, while I am, of course, the Voice Of Reason™.
......
and a former actor I worked with (who was always the first to volunteer for drag parts) actually admits to being registered Republican. We forgive him because he is otherwise mostly sane.
Comet, please may I quote these?

oh, sure. where?

UBB.classic^TM 6.5.0