Thread: family quotes. Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.


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Posted by Taliesin (# 14017) on :
 
16 year old son makes choking noise at fridge.
Are you fussing about a dirty fridge? sez I

no, he sez, I'm concerned over the bio-hazard container.

I felt you should all be informed.
 

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Posted by poileplume (# 16438) on :
 
We are Canadian, my wife's favorite expression

"At least its not snowing"
 

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Posted by cliffdweller (# 13338) on :
 
4 year old son showing off an elaborate lego creation, explains that it is a Temple. He shows the main level where the worshippers enter, and the upper level for the priests.

"What is this lower level for?"
"That's the alligator dungeon"
"Alligator dungeon? In a temple???"

"For the Baal worshippers."
 

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Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :
 
From my sister and my nephew, when the latter was in the early stages of learning to talk:

Sister: Can you say "Mum"?
Nephew: Mum
Sister: Can you say "Dad"?
Nephew: Dad
Sister: Can you say "peanut butter sandwich"? (his favourite food)

(pause)

Nephew: Yes.
 

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Posted by Left at the Altar (# 5077) on :
 
From my middle child when she was about 4:

Altargirl#2: Thank you for looking after me Mummy. I love you.

Me: I love you too Altargirl and I like looking after you. Will you look after me when I'm an old lady?

Altargirl#2: Can't one of the others?
 

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Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on :
 
Going back many years now, but my then-very-young niece, attending Catholic mass, is trying very hard to understand what the priest is saying while giving out communion (which was, of course, "Body of Christ."). Finally, she thinks she has it! She leans confidentially toward her father and whispers: "He's saying 'Take a bite!'"
 

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Posted by Polly Plummer (# 13354) on :
 
Master Plummer, age about four: I want to be a vicar when I'm grown up.

Me: Oh, I thought you wanted to be a fireman.

M.P. Does a fireman have a gun?

Me: No.

M.P.: Then I will be a vicar
 

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Posted by Jenn. (# 5239) on :
 
son aged 3: Mummy, can I play on your computer?
me: no
Son: can I play on daddy's computer?
me: no
Son: my computer?
me: no
Son: sister's computer?
me: no
son: Who's computer then???????
 

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Posted by Gracious rebel (# 3523) on :
 
My son aged about 4 misquoting a Bible verse he had heard in church or Sunday School

'I am the way to the life. No one comes to the farmer except me.'
 

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Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
Overheard in Christian bookshop:

Mother: 'And what does "prodigal" mean?'

Small child: 'Gone away and come back again'.
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Do any Mancunians hereabouts remember Stanards cafes? It was in the one on Oxford Street when I was about 8 years old that my father put his foot in it - one school holiday we'd all gone up to town to meet dad for lunch and do some shopping in his lunch hour. Dad finished his dessert then said "That was the BEST apple pie I ever tasted!" This comment was met by a frosty stare from my mum. Hasty backtrack by dad: "Erm, I mean in a commercial place, dear. It's still not a patch on yours."

This moment passed into family lore, my brother even quoting it at dad's funeral.

My mum did make wonderful apple pie.
 

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Posted by Heavenly Anarchist (# 13313) on :
 
Not quite a quote, more an expression. My eldest was 18 months old when he went to his first firework display. He looked up to the sky and said 'flower bangs' . They've been called that ever since. We're celebrating his thirteen birthday with some today
 

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Posted by chive (# 208) on :
 
My sister to 3 year old nephew: 'Who do you think my mummy is?'

Nephew: 'Is it auntie chive?'

Sister: 'No'

Nephew: 'Is it peanut butter?'
 

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Posted by cliffdweller (# 13338) on :
 
Mom (as moms do) was anxious and worried about some of my siblings and their various domestic and/or professional woes, and asked me to pray with her. We sit down together and she beings the prayer, "Lord, I thank you for my three precious children..."

There are four kids in my family.
 

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Posted by Taliesin (# 14017) on :
 
Minister giving the children's address in church:

'who is the most important person here in church?'

My 4 year old son puts up his hand, and answers,

'I am.'
 

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Posted by Cottontail (# 12234) on :
 
My cousin and her then 4-year-old.

Child: What's that, Mummy?
Cousin: That's an electricity pylon. But (sensing a teaching moment) you must never touch one.
Child: Why not?
Cousin: Because the electricity is very dangerous, and if you touch it, you could die.
Child: What happens when you die, Mummy?
Cousin: You go to heaven.
Child: Who else is in heaven?
Cousin: Well, Jesus is in heaven.
Child: (pauses for thought) So did Jesus touch the electricity pylon, then?
 

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Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :
 
Your aunt is going to Australia by plane.

I know, but why do they have to stop to feed yah? (Fiji)
 

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Posted by Nenya (# 16427) on :
 
My mother became very hard of hearing towards the end of her life but kept most of her mental faculties. One day we were discussing the relative merits of various newspapers.

Me: [Nenlet2] enjoys the Guardian.

Mum: Well, it's a good career to be in but he'll have to get some qualifications in horticulture first.

Nen - misses her mum every day.
 

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Posted by WearyPilgrim (# 14593) on :
 
I was teaching a middle school Sunday school class one day in which we were talking about loving our enemies. "What do you think about that?" I asked.
"How do you love someone you don't like?"

A thirteen-year-old boy exclaimed, without missing a beat, "When you pound him, do it gently."
 

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Posted by Left at the Altar (# 5077) on :
 
My brother when he was fourish.

Me: What would you like for breakfast?

Him: Do you have any monners?

Me: What are monners?

Him: You know (makes angry face and roaring sounds).

Me: You mean monsters?

Him: Yes, do you have any?

Me: No

Him: Ok, Weetbix then.

[ 01. February 2014, 22:44: Message edited by: Left at the Altar ]
 

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Posted by The5thMary (# 12953) on :
 
Said by me when I was watching the neighborhood boys "pop wheelies" on their bicycles: "That's a papa wheelie? What's a momma wheelie, then?"
 

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Posted by The5thMary (# 12953) on :
 
I hasten to add that I was about four years old when I said this.
 

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Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Nenya:
My mother became very hard of hearing towards the end of her life but kept most of her mental faculties. One day we were discussing the relative merits of various newspapers.

Me: [Nenlet2] enjoys the Guardian.

Mum: Well, it's a good career to be in but he'll have to get some qualifications in horticulture first.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Hedgehog:
I am reminded of one of our shipmates (although, sadly, I do not remember who) who commented that, as her hearing went, her brain would supply what word it thought was said. Leading to the shipmate's comment: "Apparently my brain has always wanted to live in a far more amusing reality then I have been submitting it to." I've always loved that line--because it is true. When I mishear something, without fail my brain instantly picks the most amusing possibility it can find!

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Shucks ... fame! 'Twas me.

(Not quite going deaf, but suffering from a combination of inattention and slightly dodgy hearing.)
 

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Posted by Adeodatus (# 4992) on :
 
One that I think treads the fine line between tragic and hilarious -

A couple of weeks after my Dad's funeral, my brother and his family were visiting my Mum. My 4-year-old nephew paused inside the front door on seeing a familiar object propped in the corner.

"Grandpa's walking stick?"

A tense moment, obviously. Mum said gently, "Yes, dear."

Nephew heaved a theatrical sigh. "Not any more."

(Mum, bless her, was laughing about that for weeks.)
 

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Posted by Sparrow (# 2458) on :
 
On a family holiday many years ago, we visited a Botanical Gardens. My brother read the notice outside and said "Botter-nickle Gardens!

They have been botternickle gardens ever since.
 

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Posted by Stercus Tauri (# 16668) on :
 
Niece's first two connected words, announced to Grandma after a drive with her mother, a somewhat testy driver: "Oh sh*t!" Twenty six years later Grandma is still shocked. Niece still proud of it.
 

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Posted by mrs whibley (# 4798) on :
 
Stepwhiblet no 2, aged around 7, displaying profound theological insight: "Hell is a very small place."

Stepwhiblet no 1, aged around 18 and on a 'year out' with his church at the time, displaying something else: "well, the Cross is important, but not exactly central."
 

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Posted by Lothlorien (# 4927) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Stercus Tauri:
Niece's first two connected words, announced to Grandma after a drive with her mother, a somewhat testy driver: "Oh sh*t!" Twenty six years later Grandma is still shocked. Niece still proud of it.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Drifting Star:

quote:

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Originally posted by Hedgehog:
I am reminded of one of our shipmates (although, sadly, I do not remember who) who commented that, as her hearing went, her brain would supply what word it thought was said. Leading to the shipmate's comment: "Apparently my brain has always wanted to live in a far more amusing reality then I have been submitting it to." I've always loved that line--because it is true. When I mishear something, without fail my brain instantly picks the most amusing possibility it can find!

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Shucks ... fame! 'Twas me.

(Not quite going deaf, but suffering from a combination of inattention and slightly dodgy hearing.)

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quote:

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Originally posted by Sparrow:
... botternickle gardens ...

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D. still refers to Copernicus as "Copperknickers".
 

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Posted by Porridge (# 15405) on :
 
I recall a Thanksgiving gathering, with turkey and all fixings including relish tray, plus the somewhat ceremonial knife-sharpening in preparation for The Great Carving. My niece, then 4, was the youngest person present. The family custom was for the carver (my father) to take requests from the youngest on upward for their favored portion of turkey -- dark meat, white, drumstick, etc. So my father, looming over the turkey with carving knife and all 6-foot-2 of dignity as patriarch of the family, turned to her and asked, "And what would you like, Miss Porridge?"

My niece responded, "I would like nine olives, please."
 

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Posted by Aravis (# 13824) on :
 
From when my daughter was about 5 or 6:

"Mummy, God does not want you to spend your life telling people to sit up at the table!"

(There was more, but that was the most quotable part)
 

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Posted by cheesymarzipan (# 9442) on :
 
my granny was a treasure trove of daft sayings, from 'ooh the poor little ducklings will get their feet wet' on a rainy day near the river to 'I'm sorry I forgot to put the washing in the fridge' (she meant the spin dryer, she was apologising for having washing hanging in her garden when we came to visit - not that we would mind!)
My grandma wasn't quite as daft (or better at hiding it) though a memorable one was when she was looking out of the kitchen window, the (big orange) fish in the pond were jumping because they were mating, but she said '[Grandad]! There's a red squirrel attacking the fish!'
 

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Posted by MrsBeaky (# 17663) on :
 
These stories are so funny. Thank you all.

A recent one from my daughter and four year old grand-daughter after daughter had just put grand-daughter's lunch in front of her.

Grand-daughter: Mummy, you're gorgeous!
Daughter: Thank you, Darling
Grand-daughter: No, Mummy you really are GORGEOUS.....(Dramatic flourish)....even when you're dead......

I find children's minds fascinating and hilarious.
 

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Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :
 
Another one from cousin Anton, who had not been to an Anglican Eucharist before.

Me; What did you do today Anton?

Anton; Aunty took me to church.

Me; What happened there?

Anton; The man donged me on the head and said, "God bless you".

Huia
 

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Posted by Left at the Altar (# 5077) on :
 
Altarboy, looking at photo of Mr A and his three brothers who all look like Mr A:

Daddy!

Other Daddy!

Other Daddy!

Other Daddy!!!!!
 

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Posted by Marama (# 330) on :
 
Daughter (then aged about 4) always wanted the last word in any discussion.

Me: "You are the most argumentative girl in the world"
Daughter (quick as a flash): "How do you know?"

She is now a lawyer!
 

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Posted by The Phantom Flan Flinger (# 8891) on :
 
My little niece:

"I like honey, but it's really just bee sick".

I mean, she's not wrong, but still...
 

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Posted by Mili (# 3254) on :
 
I've told this one here before, but there was a sequel this Christmas. When we were kids we always put on a family nativity play when we celebrated Christmas with Dad's side of the family. One year, one of my brothers who was very into cricket asked if he could be the wicket keeper. (For non cricket fans that's the fielder who stands behind the stumps, and definitely not somebody who owns an inn).

This Christmas his two sons ages almost 6 and 4 are really into cricket so my parents bought them cricket sets. The 4 year old was enjoying looking at all the bits in the set and came across the box. Which although sold ambiguously as a 'man's abdominal guard' actually protects more sensitive man parts.

Nephew was confused about what it was for and asked my brother. He explained as politely as he could, but my nephew wouldn't believe him. First he decided it was a knee pad. I tried explaining again, but he then decided it was an elbow protector and put it on his elbow to demonstrate.

"I've seen the cricketers on TV wearing it like this", he insisted and demonstrated hitting an invisible ball with an invisible bat.

He then asked my brother in law what it was for and got the same answer as before. However I think as we were giggling he thought we were all just lying to tease him and he kept insisting it was definitely an elbow protector.

[ 04. February 2014, 09:15: Message edited by: Mili ]
 

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Posted by Left at the Altar (# 5077) on :
 
After a discussion on the way to school about how it is that my children have (in order of appearance) green, blue and brown eyes, and on the way home, what the difference is between identical and fraternal twins:

Altarboy (age 10): So, how do the sperm and the egg get together?
Me: Well, you do that by having sex.
Altarboy: Gaahhhhh! Gahhhhh!. So you and Dad … HAVE HAD SEX???
Altargirl #2: Shut Up, Altarboy. I don’t want to hear this.
Me: Yes. I’m afr
aid so.
Altarboy: THREE TIMES?!!!
Me: Yes.
Altargirl #2: Errrghhh. Shut Up, Altarboy. I’m going to be sick.
Altarboy: Oh.my.god.

… silence.

Altarboy (shaking head): That’s it. I’m going to have to tell my wife, “Sorry, no kids”.

[ 04. February 2014, 09:27: Message edited by: Left at the Altar ]
 

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Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :
 
Daughter: "Did you and Dad have 100% success with sex?"
Me: "Ummm...what do you mean?"
Daughter: "Did you get pregnant every time you had sex? Because I've heard sometimes you have to do it more than once"
Me "We had to do it more than once. But don't worry, darling. Daddy and I thought having you was worth it."
 

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Posted by The Intrepid Mrs S (# 17002) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by North East Quine:
Daughter: "Did you and Dad have 100% success with sex?"
Me: "Ummm...what do you mean?"
Daughter: "Did you get pregnant every time you had sex? Because I've heard sometimes you have to do it more than once"
Me "We had to do it more than once. But don't worry, darling. Daddy and I thought having you was worth it."

---

Mrs. S, genuinely speechless for once ...
 

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Posted by Beethoven (# 114) on :
 
How to make your mum feel loved, in one short conversation... This happened a few years ago now; Op 1 must have been 4 or 5.

Op1: Mummy, I know who I want to be my new mummy when you die.
Me: Really darling? And who's that then?
Op1: *named 16-year-old babysitter*
Me:
 

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Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
My children (aged about 3) visiting friends with newborn.

They looked at the baby then asked if they could go and find toys (they knew the house), were given permission and took themselves off upstairs to play.

After 5 minutes with us both on the edge of our seats listening to the thunder of four feet upstairs I went to find them.

Me: "What are you doing?"
Them: "Looking"
Me: "Looking? What for?"
Them: "The other one"
Me: "Other one?"
Them: "Other baby, only one downstairs"
Me: "That's because X only had one baby"
Them: "No. One baby downstairs, where's the other one?"
Me: "Some babies come on their own"
At which point they burst into howls of laughter ran downstairs and yelled "Where's the other baby?"
Me: "You know Caroline is on her own (older sibling of newborn): well, so is Oliver."
Them: "But she's a girl. Girls are alone, but Oliver is a boy: where's the other one?"

You see, they thought all boys came as one of an identical pair...
 

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Posted by Heavenly Anarchist (# 13313) on :
 
My eldest, aged 3, discussing his 6 week old brother whom he had previously appeared to be quite accepting of; 'So, when is he going?'
 

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Posted by Nenya (# 16427) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Left at the Altar:

Altarboy: Gaahhhhh! Gahhhhh!. So you and Dad … HAVE HAD SEX???

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This reminds me of a reported conversation between my two brothers when told of my impending arrival - they were 10 and 12 at the time:

"You know what this means, don't you? It means they're still Doing It."

Nen - product of libidinous parents.
 

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Posted by AngloCatholicGirl (# 16435) on :
 
My friend's young children were watching Star Wars, at the end of the movie the sister said to her brother (who was about 4 years old at the time): 'may the force be with you'

To which he most solemnly replied: 'and also with you'
 

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Posted by Silver Swan (# 17957) on :
 
In the fifties, when women often wore fox furs with the head and claws still attached, my little sister pointed at one and said, Ooh look, Mum! Is that lady's dog tired?
 

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Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :
 
Taking a ride somewhere with Dad, probably to a piano lesson. We go by a new cemetery, with a large advertising sign.

Me: Does "non-sectarian" mean you can bury men AND women in there? [Dad guffaws]

Me: What about "perpetual care"? They take cats and dogs too"? [larger guffaw]

I never did find out anything.

 

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Posted by Sparrow (# 2458) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Marama:
Daughter (then aged about 4) always wanted the last word in any discussion.

Me: "You are the most argumentative girl in the world"
Daughter (quick as a flash): "How do you know?"

She is now a lawyer!

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quote:

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Originally posted by Beethoven:
How to make your mum feel loved, in one short conversation... This happened a few years ago now; Op 1 must have been 4 or 5.

Op1: Mummy, I know who I want to be my new mummy when you die.
Me: Really darling? And who's that then?
Op1: *named 16-year-old babysitter*
Me:

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quote:

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Originally posted by Jenn.:

son: Who's computer then???????

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quote:

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Originally posted by AngloCatholicGirl:
My friend's young children were watching Star Wars, at the end of the movie the sister said to her brother (who was about 4 years old at the time): 'may the force be with you'

To which he most solemnly replied: 'and also with you'

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Posted by Drifting Star (# 12799) on :
 
From a young friend of mine:

"If you don't ask questions, you don't learn anything..."

(pause)

"...it's brilliant."
 

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Posted by The Machine Elf (# 1622) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Sparrow:

quote:

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Originally posted by Marama:
Daughter (then aged about 4) always wanted the last word in any discussion.

Me: "You are the most argumentative girl in the world"
Daughter (quick as a flash): "How do you know?"

She is now a lawyer!

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My mother and my aunt: aunt was being picky.

Mum: Aren't you argumentative?
Aunt: No I'm not!

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quote:

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Originally posted by Silver Swan:
In the fifties, when women often wore fox furs with the head and claws still attached, my little sister pointed at one and said, Ooh look, Mum! Is that lady's dog tired?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
<snip>
This moment passed into family lore, my brother even quoting it at dad's funeral.

My mum did make wonderful apple pie.

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quote:

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Originally posted by churchgeek:


*If I'm misremembering this and it was some other relation, it makes no real difference to this quote.

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quote:

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Never let the facts get in the way of a good story.

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quote:

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Originally posted by comet:
Stomp stomp stomp slam door.

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When I was an (utterly charming and tragically misunderstood) adolescent, my family nickname was "Stomp!Stomp!Stomp!Slam!"

Ah, memories . . .
 

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Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
Not family, but a 'treasure' without whom the house would have become a midden:

Meg: My niece come over last night, you know, the one with the dad that's gone all sea-lion.

Visions of stout worthy flapping flippers being thrown fish.
 

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Posted by The Intrepid Mrs S (# 17002) on :
 
My parents, living in the sticks and without a babysitter, were forced to take me along, as a small but very well-behaved child, to a performance of 'Billy Liar' at the Cambridge Arts Theatre.

In a quiet passage, cue small voice from the stalls -

'Mummy, what's a virgin?

Mrs. S, red-faced even more than 50 years later
 

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Posted by cliffdweller (# 13338) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by The Intrepid Mrs S:
My parents, living in the sticks and without a babysitter, were forced to take me along, as a small but very well-behaved child, to a performance of 'Billy Liar' at the Cambridge Arts Theatre.

In a quiet passage, cue small voice from the stalls -

'Mummy, what's a virgin?

Mrs. S, red-faced even more than 50 years later

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quote:

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Originally posted by piglet:
I think I posted about this a while ago, but it bears inclusion here - again, church family rather than genealogical family.

Our curate's wife was very keen to have their daughter show off her (then) nascent oral skills:

CW: What does the dog say?
CD: Woof.
CW: What does the cat say?
CD: Meow.
CW: What does the cow say?
CD: Moo.
CW: What does Daddy say?
CD: Mass.

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quote:

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Originally posted by birdie:
Oh, there are so many,but one I was reminded of this morning, was E, aged about 3, helping me go through the laundry and handing me a bra, saying

"Mummy, here are your nipple pants."

I.nearly.died.

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E is brilliant.

 

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Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by piglet:
I think I posted about this a while ago, but it bears inclusion here - again, church family rather than genealogical family.

Our curate's wife was very keen to have their daughter show off her (then) nascent oral skills:

CW: What does the dog say?
CD: Woof.
CW: What does the cat say?
CD: Meow.
CW: What does the cow say?
CD: Moo.
CW: What does Daddy say?
CD: Mass.

---

I went with this routine with my son aged three, ending with:

What does Mommy say?
Answer: "I love you."

I tried again at age ten, which was pressing my luck:

What does Mommy say?
Answer: "Life is hard, suck it up!"
 

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Posted by Nenya (# 16427) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
I went with this routine with my son aged three, ending with:

What does Mommy say?
Answer: "I love you."

I tried again at age ten, which was pressing my luck:

What does Mommy say?
Answer: "Life is hard, suck it up!"

---

Reminds me of a conversation with Nenlet2 when he was perhaps about three years old.

Me: I love you, *name*

Nenlet2: Yes. Daddy luff me too.

Me: ... Yes.... That's right...

Nen - raiser of - hopefully - emotionally secure children...
 

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Posted by Truman White (# 17290) on :
 
Overhead this from an eight year old talking to his Dad:

"Dad - is it true that people in France drive on the right hand side of the road?"

"Yes, they do."

"That's daft - why aren't they like us and drive on both sides?"
 

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Posted by Taliesin (# 14017) on :
 
Daughter to daddy, 'will you love me til the bluebells ring?'
Older sister, quick a flash, 'I'll love you til the church bells ring, and that's Sunday.'

She was only about 9.
This was the same kid who wrote an essay about 'eggward the professor' with almost total lack of understanding, and and watched 'childrenscrojams' on TV.

Don't ask me what was going on in her head...

[ 08. February 2014, 19:24: Message edited by: Taliesin ]
 

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Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
I love reading this thread! (Wiping tears from eyes.)

I think I may have shared this little story once before, but here it is again.

Daughter-Unit was a bit of a drama queen when she was very young. We were on our way to church one Sunday morning, and she discovered she had left something at home. She asked for me to turn around so she could get it, and since we had already traveled eight miles, we were almost to our destination, and I needed to be at w*rk, I said that we wouldn't go home. She crossed her little arms, forced tears from her eyes and started saying how much she hated herself and had the normal speech occurred, she would have mentioned that she wished she was dead. But that's not what came out of her mouth that time.

"I hate myself. I wish I was stupid."

She had her head down while saying this and looked up at my face sideways to see if I had noticed. We both cracked up and that's the last time she ever used that little drama scene.
 

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Posted by BessHiggs (# 15176) on :
 
Years ago, my mother, who lives in upstate New York, had recently begun working as a home health nurse and had found herself assigned to mostly male clients. In a effort to have some handy conversaion starters, she started listening to sports talk radio in the car on the way between stops. At this time, Doug Flutie was playing for the Buffalo Bills and had suffered a groin injury which had all the sports guys in a tizzy. We were out to lunch one day when mother, out of the blue, announces, "and I'm so stinking sick of Doug Flutie's groin!", in a very loud voice. To this day, any piece of minor news that is re-hashed to death in the media is referred to by my family as Doug Flutie's Groin. Outsiders don't understand
 

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Posted by Kitten (# 1179) on :
 
Last year my grandson, then aged three was coming with me to collect a kitten that I was buying. When we arrived the we were told that he had decided to sell to someone else instead

All the way home my grandson after spending a few miles saying variations of how much he missed the kitten and needed the kitten suddenly came out with "That man lied, he should be made to go to the Jeremy Kyle"

(We did find another kitten shortly after)
 

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Posted by Lothlorien (# 4927) on :
 
My ex-husband's grandmother was a strict teetotaller. Nothing alcoholic ever passed her lips.

At some time in her early 80s she fainted. When she came around, her DIL gave her some brandy.

Nana's exclamation after one sip was, "You watered that down!"
 

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Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
We were visiting my step-daughter to see the new addition to the family:

No 1 son: Maybe she'll grow into her face when she's older?

Step-daughter cracked-up, thank goodness!
 

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Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
I went with this routine with my son aged three, ending with:

What does Mommy say?
Answer: "I love you."

I tried again at age ten, which was pressing my luck:

What does Mommy say?
Answer: "Life is hard, suck it up!"

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If he takes both statements seriously, I'd say that's a good start on life!
 

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Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :
 

 

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Posted by Fredegund (# 17952) on :
 
Many years ago: the small boy who, amongst other things, became my uncle, was taken to the Gents for the first time to mark being older. Tradition and my mother report that he exited at speed, crying "Mummy, they wee up the wall!" He was never allowed to forget it, and it was related wherever groups of family passed the public conveniences.
 

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