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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Annoying Christmas Song Lyrics
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Francophile
Shipmate
# 17838
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Posted
My pet hate:
"There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time"
Is there snow in Africa any Christmas time?
If the royalties from this song are still Feeding the World, I will thole it.
Posts: 243 | From: United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2013
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
A thole is either of two pins affixed to a gunwale and used as an oarlock. What exactly are you going to do with this song or its royalties?
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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quetzalcoatl
Shipmate
# 16740
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Posted
I think you can ski in a few places in Africa, but it's a secret, where they are!
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I can't talk to you today; I talked to two people yesterday.
Posts: 9878 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2011
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Francophile:
Is there snow in Africa any Christmas time?
Yes, lots. There's snow in Africa all year round. Here's a picture.
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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Francophile
Shipmate
# 17838
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Posted
Thole(Scots): endure, put up with
To thole one's assize: to be acquitted after trial
Posts: 243 | From: United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2013
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
Last year when I was in Johannesburg it snowed. But that was in July.
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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Stumbling Pilgrim
Shipmate
# 7637
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Posted
I have a bigger problem with 'tonight thank God it's them instead of you'. Surely the whole point of the song is that it shouldn't be anybody?
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Stumbling in the Master's footsteps as best I can.
Posts: 492 | From: England | Registered: Jun 2004
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Francophile
Shipmate
# 17838
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
quote:
Originally posted by Francophile:
Is there snow in Africa any Christmas time?
Yes, lots. There's snow in Africa all year round. Here's a picture.
What happened in 1984 then? Did drought mean no snow?
Posts: 243 | From: United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2013
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
quote:
Francophile: What happened in 1984 then? Did drought mean no snow?
The snow/ice-cap on the Kilimanjaro persisted in 1984.
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
Felice Navidad by José Feliciano. I think "felice Navidad" is the entire lyric. It doesn't help if Boney M sings it.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
quote:
no prophet: Felice Navidad by José Feliciano. I think "felice Navidad" is the entire lyric.
It also has Prospero año y felicidad (≈ 'Happy New Year') and 'We wanna wish you a Merry Christmis from the bottom of our heart.'
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
quote:
Originally posted by Francophile:
Is there snow in Africa any Christmas time?
Yes, lots. There's snow in Africa all year round. Here's a picture.
And in the bit of Ethipia that famine was, they have snow on the mountains every winter. And when it melts it causes the flooding of the Nile. And yes they know its Christmas because the've mostly been Christians for longer than our ancestors have.
Well-meaning maybe, but I cringed so much at that song.
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Ken
L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.
Posts: 39579 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2002
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
At least 'Do they know it's Christmas' has the excuse that it was thrown together overnight. Goodness knows how long it took to write 'We Are The World', and yet it still had the clunker:
"Cause God has shown us by turning stone to bread"
Er, when?
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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Curiosity killed ...
Ship's Mug
# 11770
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Posted
The Sahara desert had a recent snowfall in January 2012. I can't find the picture online now, but there was enough snow to build a snow camel. And when I googled to find pictures of this one, another snowfall in February 1979 was returned in the search results.
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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat
Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
"The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes
But little Lord Jesus, no crying he makes"
Mary and Joseph must be up all night checking for crib (manger) death. ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
E'n so, here below, below,
Let steeple bells be swungen.
And "Io, io, io"
By priest and people sungen.
A pitiful attempt to make a song written in 1924 sound like it had been written in 1492.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Stejjie
Shipmate
# 13941
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gill H:
At least 'Do they know it's Christmas' has the excuse that it was thrown together overnight. Goodness knows how long it took to write 'We Are The World', and yet it still had the clunker:
"Cause God has shown us by turning stone to bread"
Er, when?
Which just confirms my suspicion that "We are the world" is by a long way the worst of those two songs (and the video really gets to me - lots of American singers showing how special they are by looking as if they've had sudden onsets of constipation down a microphone for charity - and it goes on too long to make sure everyone gets their solo bit - all for charidee...).
It's been mentioned on the Carols and Readings thread in Eccles, but can I nominate "Once In Royal David's City", which is basically "children be good, cos Jesus was" dressed up as a song about the wonder of Christmas.
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A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist
Posts: 1117 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
"The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes
But little Lord Jesus, no crying he makes"
Mary and Joseph must be up all night checking for crib (manger) death.
"The ox and lamb kept time, parup apum pum". Really? An ox and a lamb kept time with what, their hooves? ![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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Starbug
Shipmate
# 15917
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gill H:
At least 'Do they know it's Christmas' has the excuse that it was thrown together overnight. Goodness knows how long it took to write 'We Are The World', and yet it still had the clunker:
"Cause God has shown us by turning stone to bread"
Er, when?
I prefer Bette Midler's version of 'We Are the World':
'We are the rich/ we are the famous'... ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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“Oh the pointing again. They're screwdrivers! What are you going to do? Assemble a cabinet at them?” ― The Day of the Doctor
Posts: 1189 | From: West of the New Forest | Registered: Sep 2010
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Jane R
Shipmate
# 331
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Posted
I dunno whether it's annoying exactly, but I was rather startled the first time I opened my vocal score for Britten's 'Saint Nicholas' and discovered that we had to sing 'IA!'
Further investigation revealed that it was the final syllable of Alleluia, not an exhortation to Great Cthulu...
Posts: 3958 | From: Jorvik | Registered: May 2001
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Lord Jestocost
Shipmate
# 12909
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jane R:
Further investigation revealed that it was the final syllable of Alleluia, not an exhortation to Great Cthulu...
Which was precisely my first thought on reading your post.
There is a version of "Unto is born a son" which includes the gem:
quote:
... Let the organ thunder
While our happy voices rend
The jocund air asunder!
It was the last line that made my mother and me dissolve into giggles.
Posts: 761 | From: The Instrumentality of Man | Registered: Aug 2007
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The5thMary:
"The ox and lamb kept time, parup apum pum". Really? An ox and a lamb kept time with what, their hooves?
Are you suggesting herbivores have no sense of rhythm?
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
Not so: I seem to recall Mr Ed, the 'talking' horse, could do arithmetic... ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Through the years we all will be together, if the Fates allow.
Um, are we Christians or ancient Greek pagans in this song? There are no Fates in the ninefold ranks of angels.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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anoesis
Shipmate
# 14189
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Posted
What, over twenty posts already, and no-one has nominated either; "Grandma got run over by a reindeer", or; "I saw Momeeee kissing Sannaaa Claus laaaaaaaaaaaaast niiiiiight!"
bleurghk. ![[Projectile]](graemlins/puke2.gif)
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The history of humanity give one little hope that strength left to its own devices won't be abused. Indeed, it gives one little ground to think that strength would continue to exist if it were not abused. -- Dafyd --
Posts: 993 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Oct 2008
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
Whichever carol - I think it's 'Come All ye Faithful' that has the words "Lo He abhorred not the Virgin's womb"
He would have been in a a pretty poor position if he had.
And wot Stejjie posted about "Once in Royal David's City'.
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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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JoannaP
Shipmate
# 4493
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Posted
My pet hate is Wizzard's I wish it could be Chrisymas every day. Even as a kid I worked out that is it happened every day, it wouldn't be special - and when could people buy Christmas presents if the shops were never open?
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"Freedom for the pike is death for the minnow." R. H. Tawney (quoted by Isaiah Berlin)
"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." Benjamin Franklin
Posts: 1877 | From: England | Registered: May 2003
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Moo
Ship's tough old bird
# 107
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Huia:
Whichever carol - I think it's 'Come All ye Faithful' that has the words "Lo He abhorred not the Virgin's womb"
"Oh come, all ye faithful".
Moo
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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.
Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
E'n so, here below, below,
Let steeple bells be swungen.
And "Io, io, io"
By priest and people sungen.
A pitiful attempt to make a song written in 1924 sound like it had been written in 1492.
Yes. It's the sort of garbage you make up off the top of your head when you're playing silly word games after a few drinks. And presumably the only reason you'd sing io io io* is that you'd had so many drinks you couldn't articulate anything else.
*You might sing io io but only if you were a cockney dwarf and it was off to work you were going
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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Anglican't
Shipmate
# 15292
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by ken:
And in the bit of Ethipia that famine was, they have snow on the mountains every winter. And when it melts it causes the flooding of the Nile. And yes they know its Christmas because the've mostly been Christians for longer than our ancestors have.
Well-meaning maybe, but I cringed so much at that song.
Someone once commented that the Ethiopians wouldn't know its Christmas because they use the Julian calendar and would celebrate it at a completely different time.
Don't know how true this is, but I thought it amusing. Not sure whether Ethiopia has yet to adopt the Gregorian calendar.
[ 15. December 2013, 10:21: Message edited by: Anglican't ]
Posts: 3613 | From: London, England | Registered: Nov 2009
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rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840
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Posted
Does it really make any difference to the scheme of things if friggin ice crystals fall out of the sky on a certain day of the Year ?
Scrooge out.
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Change is the only certainty of existence
Posts: 3206 | From: U.K. | Registered: Dec 2011
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
One thing to be said for "There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time" (etc) is that it is written with a bit of anger. Very differently from "We are the world", you can't sing it with a soppy self-congratulatory grin on your face.
BTW "Tonight thank God it's them instead of you" = "count yourself lucky it's them instead of you", surely?
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by pydseybare:
In Bethlehem, in Jewry,
This blessed Babe was born
And laid within a manger
Upon this blessed morn
The which His Mother Mary
Did nothing take in scorn
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy
I think it means "which fact," and "did nothing take" means "did not take" -- at least that's what I've taken it to mean.
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I know this isn't a Christmas song per se, but I despise "Baby, It's Cold Outside." Christmas date rape song.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Edith
Shipmate
# 16978
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Posted
The very nastiest is the ghastly Eartha Kitt growling about Santa coming down the chimney tonight.
And the most embarrassing is the line about a breastful of milk. Guarranteed to put a schoolfull of convent girls off motherhood for ever.
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Edith
Posts: 256 | From: UK | Registered: Mar 2012
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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
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Posted
The Christmas shoe song. Ugh.
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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!
Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Edith:
The very nastiest is the ghastly Eartha Kitt growling about Santa coming down the chimney tonight.
And the most embarrassing is the line about a breastful of milk. Guarranteed to put a schoolfull of convent girls off motherhood for ever.
I don't think the first one is ghastly at all, but then perhaps you have to be a (certain sort of?) chap to appreciate it. If the second has the effect you say it has, I'm not at all sure it's such a bad thing.
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My beard is a testament to my masculinity and virility, and demonstrates that I am a real man. Trouble is, bits of quiche sometimes get caught in it.
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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Garasu
Shipmate
# 17152
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Posted
quote:
"Christian children all should be mild, obedient, good as he"
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"Could I believe in the doctrine without believing in the deity?". - Modesitt, L. E., Jr., 1943- Imager.
Posts: 889 | From: Surrey Heath (England) | Registered: Jun 2012
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Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Edith:
And the most embarrassing is the line about a breastful of milk. Guarranteed to put a schoolfull of convent girls off motherhood for ever.
Really? Convent girls don't have mothers, sisters, cousins or neighbours with babies? A baby who is warm, dry, and nestled at a milky breast does indeed have all of his immediate wants and needs satisfied. You can see all the tension evaporate from a baby as he finds the nipple and starts to feed.
This is God, fully human, nursing peacefully at his mother's breast. I think it's a lovely image.
Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
It is more likely to be the teenage male tenor, with newly broken voice, feeling very self-conscious at having to sing those words....
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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balaam
Making an ass of myself
# 4543
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Garasu:
quote:
"Christian children all should be mild, obedient, good as he"
they want them all to wander off and leave their parents wondering where they are for three days? Ridiculous!
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Last ever sig ...
blog
Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003
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S. Bacchus
Shipmate
# 17778
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Moo:
quote:
Originally posted by Huia:
Whichever carol - I think it's 'Come All ye Faithful' that has the words "Lo He abhorred not the Virgin's womb"
"Oh come, all ye faithful".
Moo
What's wrong with that line? Although not a literal translation of the Latin (' Deum de Deo, lumen de lumine/ Gestant puellæ viscera' = 'God of God, Light of Light: These are born by bowels of a young woman'), it's a pretty obvious allusion to the Te Deum:
quote:
Tu ad liberandum suscepturus hominem,
non horruisti Virginis uterum.
Which the BCP translates (quite correctly) as
quote:
When thou tookest upon thee to deliver man : thou didst not abhor the Virgin's womb.
Good, strong incarnational language in both cases.
There was a time, even a generation ago, when nobody batted an eye about prayers like 'Blessed be the womb of the Virgin Mary which bore the Son of the Eternal Father and blessed by the breasts that gave suck to Christ our Lord'. One might have thought that a desire to emphasize female imagery in devotional writings would increase the prominence of such prayers, but they instead seem to have all but vanished, presumably out of a puerile horror of lady bits. ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
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'It's not that simple. I won't have it to be that simple'.
Posts: 260 | Registered: Jul 2013
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balaam
Making an ass of myself
# 4543
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Francophile:
"There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time"
It's worse than that. Look at the next line...
"And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life"
Sorry, I know life isn't as good as snow, but it's the best we can do at short notice.
(This one is courtesy of the resident offspring.)
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Last ever sig ...
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Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003
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SvitlanaV2
Shipmate
# 16967
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Posted
'I wish it could be Christmas every day....' No, I don't!
This song is played over and over again in shops at Christmastime, and the cynic in me thinks they'd love us to spend our money as though in a mad frenzy of present-buying every day!
Posts: 6668 | From: UK | Registered: Feb 2012
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
There is something really creepy about Elvis Presley crooning "Blue Christmas". The backup singers are doing their "Oh ooo ooo ooo ooo" and that just adds to the creepiness.
The problem with songs like "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" is that they aren't that funny to begin with and then they get played over and over and over again, making me want to jam red hot pokers into my ears... or move to a high mountaintop where no stupid Christmas "songs" can be heard. Gimme "Silent Night", sung reverently any time over most of the holiday schlock.
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
It is more likely to be the teenage male tenor, with newly broken voice, feeling very self-conscious at having to sing those words....
Yes, but at that age he's going to feel very self-conscious at everything, so he'd better just put up with it and get over it as quickly as he can!
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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Kitten
Shipmate
# 1179
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Posted
Fortunately not heard so often these days but I've always hated
'I'm so sorry for that laddie, He hasn't got a daddy, The little boy that Santa Claus forgot'
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Maius intra qua extra
Never accept a ride from a stranger, unless they are in a big blue box
Posts: 2330 | From: Carmarthenshire | Registered: Aug 2001
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Fr Weber
Shipmate
# 13472
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Huia:
Whichever carol - I think it's 'Come All ye Faithful' that has the words "Lo He abhorred not the Virgin's womb"
He would have been in a a pretty poor position if he had.
It wasn't an uncommon trope at one time. The Te Deum has the line "When thou tookest upon thee to deliver man, thou didst not abhor the Virgin's womb."
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"The Eucharist is not a play, and you're not Jesus."
--Sr Theresa Koernke, IHM
Posts: 2512 | From: Oakland, CA | Registered: Feb 2008
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Garasu:
quote:
"Christian children all should be mild, obedient, good as he"
That one used to make me cross when I was a kid - I imagined some ghastly goody-two-shoes.
But it was written by a Victorian lady, at a time when that sort of sentiment was not only acceptable, but expected. It's a product of its time; I wouldn't mind if that verse were left out, but it really doesn't bother me any more.
As for the "breast full of milk", it's often replaced with "a heart full of love".
[ 16. December 2013, 16:19: Message edited by: piglet ]
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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