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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Annoying Christmas Song Lyrics
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by SvitlanaV2:
'I wish it could be Christmas every day....' This song is played over and over again in shops at Christmastime.
Indeed it is ... of course, if it WAS Christmas every day they'd all be permanently shut as they don't open on December 25th!
PS Thinking of "Once in royal David's city", I don't much like the vision of heaven as "all in white shall wait around" - sounds like some dysfunctional celestial bus station (although cleaner) on a day when the service has totally collapsed!
[ 16. December 2013, 16:32: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
It occurred to me,only a short time ago, that not abhorring the womb could have been a riposte to those who regarded women's parts as the gateway to hell.
Christina Rossetti was quite extraordinary in putting the breastful of milk into a poem at the time she did - I don't suppose it was intended to be sung by choirboys when written.
My mother grew up resenting the Once in Royal verse which she was sure was Getting At Her. In the past I've come across versions which have compressed two verses, thus: (Omitted bit in italics and brackets)
And, through all His wondrous childhood,
He would honor and obey,
Love and watch the lowly maiden,
In whose gentle arms He lay:
(Christian children all must be
Mild, obedient, good as He.
For He is our childhood’s pattern;
Day by day, like us He grew;
He was little, weak and helpless,
Tears and smiles like us He knew;)
And He feeleth for our sadness,
And He shareth in our gladness.
Most recently, all the childhood part has been omitted where I usually sing it. Presumably others have been felling they were being Got At.
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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Heavenly Anarchist
Shipmate
# 13313
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Penny S:
It occurred to me,only a short time ago, that not abhorring the womb could have been a riposte to those who regarded women's parts as the gateway to hell.
Christina Rossetti was quite extraordinary in putting the breastful of milk into a poem at the time she did - I don't suppose it was intended to be sung by choirboys when written.
My mother grew up resenting the Once in Royal verse which she was sure was Getting At Her. In the past I've come across versions which have compressed two verses, thus: (Omitted bit in italics and brackets)
And, through all His wondrous childhood,
He would honor and obey,
Love and watch the lowly maiden,
In whose gentle arms He lay:
(Christian children all must be
Mild, obedient, good as He.
For He is our childhood’s pattern;
Day by day, like us He grew;
He was little, weak and helpless,
Tears and smiles like us He knew;)
And He feeleth for our sadness,
And He shareth in our gladness.
Most recently, all the childhood part has been omitted where I usually sing it. Presumably others have been felling they were being Got At.
We missed it out at our carol service last night, can't remember if it was the compressed version or not. I was very pleased, having growled at the other version in the school carol service in the parish church earlier in the week.
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'I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.' Douglas Adams
Dog Activity Monitor
My shop
Posts: 2831 | From: Trumpington | Registered: Jan 2008
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Moo
Ship's tough old bird
# 107
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kitten:
Fortunately not heard so often these days but I've always hated
'I'm so sorry for that laddie, He hasn't got a daddy, The little boy that Santa Claus forgot'
I am very glad I have never heard that.
Moo
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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.
Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
It's just "The Little Match Girl" reimagined for a more modern society. At least the boy gets to live.
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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Starbug
Shipmate
# 15917
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Posted
For me it's Little Saint Nick by the Beach Boys: 'Christmas comes this time each year'. No shit, Sherlock.
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“Oh the pointing again. They're screwdrivers! What are you going to do? Assemble a cabinet at them?” ― The Day of the Doctor
Posts: 1189 | From: West of the New Forest | Registered: Sep 2010
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Fr Weber
Shipmate
# 13472
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Starbug:
For me it's Little Saint Nick by the Beach Boys: 'Christmas comes this time each year'. No shit, Sherlock.
"Joseph Dearest, Joseph Mine" has pretty much the same thing with "He came among us at Christmas time/At Christmas time in Bethlehem"...
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"The Eucharist is not a play, and you're not Jesus."
--Sr Theresa Koernke, IHM
Posts: 2512 | From: Oakland, CA | Registered: Feb 2008
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Pearl B4 Swine
Ship's Oyster-Shucker
# 11451
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Posted
The two worst I've had to deal with are:
Mary, did you know...... and Do you hear what I hear
Usually the second one is referred to as "Do you smell what I smell?"
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Oinkster
"I do a good job and I know how to do this stuff" D. Trump (speaking of the POTUS job)
Posts: 3622 | From: The Keystone State | Registered: May 2006
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Lyonesse
Apprentice
# 2567
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Edith:
And the most embarrassing is the line about a breastful of milk. Guarranteed to put a schoolfull of convent girls off motherhood for ever.
I always misinterpret this verse - I can't help but hear it as a breastful of milk to drink, and a mangerful of hay to eat. I wish I could find a way to get that idea out of my head!
Posts: 29 | From: Merseyside | Registered: Mar 2002
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Albertus:
*You might sing io io but only if you were a cockney dwarf and it was off to work you were going
Quotes file!
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Siegfried
Ship's ferret
# 29
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Posted
I'd always thought "The Little Boy that Santa Claus Forgot" was the most downbeat Christmas song ever, until I heard "Christmas Shoes". Really? REALLY?!
And, although I enjoy the tune, I can't hear "Gabriel's Message" now without singing to myself, "Most highly flavored gravy" for that last line. Thanks Ship of Fools. Thip.
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Siegfried
Life is just a bowl of cherries!
Posts: 5592 | From: Tallahassee, FL USA | Registered: May 2001
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Siegfried:
I'd always thought "The Little Boy that Santa Claus Forgot" was the most downbeat Christmas song ever, until I heard "Christmas Shoes". Really? REALLY?!
I am happy to say I never heard of "Christmas Shoes," but I just looked up the lyrics. Aaacck! I shudder to think what the tune sounds like, and I refuse to find out.
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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JoannaP
Shipmate
# 4493
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Moo:
quote:
Originally posted by Kitten:
Fortunately not heard so often these days but I've always hated
'I'm so sorry for that laddie, He hasn't got a daddy, The little boy that Santa Claus forgot'
I am very glad I have never heard that.
Moo
I partially heard it for the first time one morning last week. It was a very good reason to get out of bed rather than just lying there listening to the radio.
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"Freedom for the pike is death for the minnow." R. H. Tawney (quoted by Isaiah Berlin)
"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." Benjamin Franklin
Posts: 1877 | From: England | Registered: May 2003
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Barefoot Friar
Ship's Shoeless Brother
# 13100
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Posted
"Baby, It's Cold Outside"
The guy's trying to rape her.
Gah.
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Do your little bit of good where you are; its those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world. -- Desmond Tutu
Posts: 1621 | From: Warrior Mountains | Registered: Oct 2007
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
'When the snowman brings the snow'
Um ... until you have snow you can't have a snowman.
'And so this is Christmas, and what have you done
Another year over and a new one just begun'
No, John, that's New Year. The clue's in the name.
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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Anglo Catholic Relict
Shipmate
# 17213
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gill H:
'And so this is Christmas, and what have you done
Another year over and a new one just begun'
No, John, that's New Year. The clue's in the name.
... unless he means the Liturgical year, which begins at the start of Advent ... ?
Is it possible?
Posts: 585 | Registered: Jul 2012
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gill H:
'When the snowman brings the snow'
Um ... until you have snow you can't have a snowman.
Is this what it comes to? Taking potshots at perfectly good songs for utterly pedantic and irrelevant reasons?
The milkman brings the milk. The postman brings the post. Saying the snowman brings the snow in a deliberately cheesy, just-for-fun Christmas song is perfectly legitimate.
What's next - slagging off Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer because real reindeer don't have noses of sufficient luminosity to act as foglights?
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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deano
princess
# 12063
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Starbug:
For me it's Little Saint Nick by the Beach Boys: 'Christmas comes this time each year'. No shit, Sherlock.
This in spades!
I always thought it was just me who thought that line was shite. I never made a fuss because I thought "Jesus, it's just a song, get a life deano", but every... fucking... year... it just gets on my tits.
I just avoid listening to all Christmas music (except carols in church services of course) because wth the exception of Fairy Tale of New York they are all crap.
[ 19. December 2013, 14:25: Message edited by: deano ]
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"The moral high ground is slowly being bombed to oblivion. " - Supermatelot
Posts: 2118 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: Nov 2006
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Francophile:
We could ask him ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
Into spiritualism, are you?
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
quote:
Originally posted by Siegfried:
I'd always thought "The Little Boy that Santa Claus Forgot" was the most downbeat Christmas song ever, until I heard "Christmas Shoes". Really? REALLY?!
I am happy to say I never heard of "Christmas Shoes," but I just looked up the lyrics. Aaacck! I shudder to think what the tune sounds like, and I refuse to find out.
Yeah, I also went and looked up the words and have absolutely no desire to hear the song. Things like that and hearing people announce, in syrupy tones, "Jesus is the REASON for the season!" make me lunge for a barf bag.
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
Some of you missed a career in law.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Some of you missed a career in law.
They would be the lucky ones (((orfeo & co))).
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Stejjie
Shipmate
# 13941
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Anglo Catholic Relict:
quote:
Originally posted by Gill H:
'And so this is Christmas, and what have you done
Another year over and a new one just begun'
No, John, that's New Year. The clue's in the name.
... unless he means the Liturgical year, which begins at the start of Advent ... ?
Is it possible?
To be fair, Christmas Day is only a week a way from New Year's Day and that's always a weird sort of week (for me, anyway), so it does feel like the year's pretty much up by the time you get to Christmas.
Again with the pickiness!
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A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist
Posts: 1117 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008
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Pine Marten
Shipmate
# 11068
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The5thMary:
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
quote:
Originally posted by Siegfried:
I'd always thought "The Little Boy that Santa Claus Forgot" was the most downbeat Christmas song ever, until I heard "Christmas Shoes". Really? REALLY?!
I am happy to say I never heard of "Christmas Shoes," but I just looked up the lyrics. Aaacck! I shudder to think what the tune sounds like, and I refuse to find out.
Yeah, I also went and looked up the words and have absolutely no desire to hear the song. Things like that and hearing people announce, in syrupy tones, "Jesus is the REASON for the season!" make me lunge for a barf bag.
You had to make me do it - I looked up Christmas Shoes on YouTube ... ![[Projectile]](graemlins/puke2.gif) Yuck! The thing doesn't even bloody well rhyme, what a pukerama. Nearly as bad as Elvis's Old Shep.
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Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. - Oscar Wilde
Posts: 1731 | From: Isle of Albion | Registered: Feb 2006
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
I've concluded there are only two Christmas songs. Every time I walk into a shop or other public place where Christmas muzak is going on, either "Let It Snow" or "Simply Havin a Wunnerful Christmas Time" is playing. It's happened so often lately it can't be coincidence.
I absolutely loathe SHAWCT and the limp way it's sung but at least it isn't "Sanna Claus is Comin Ter Towwwwwwwnnnnn" as screamed by a hysterical soprano.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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balaam
Making an ass of myself
# 4543
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
but at least it isn't "Sanna Claus is Comin Ter Towwwwwwwnnnnn" as screamed by a hysterical soprano.
Bruce Springsteen?
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Last ever sig ...
blog
Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
Not sure. It's somewhere more in the range of the Bee Gees, but a lot shriller and more ear-piercing.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
That would be Michael Jackson back in his teenage years.
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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Dogwalker
Shipmate
# 14135
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Posted
Nobody has mentioned one that bugs me every year -- the second verse of Silent Night.
quote:
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia,
On what planet does that rhyme?
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If God had meant for us to fly, he wouldn't have given us the railways. - Unknown
Posts: 155 | From: Milford, MA, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Dogwalker:
Nobody has mentioned one that bugs me every year -- the second verse of Silent Night.
quote:
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia,
On what planet does that rhyme?
Consistency is the hobgolin of small minds - mitts off one of my favourite carols - or it was until Simon and Garfunkel did their thing with it. Now I have trouble hearing it without that relentless voice cataloguing the disasters of the day intruding ![[Frown]](frown.gif) .
Huia
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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
I had never really heard the lyrics to "I Wonder as I Wander" until a couple of days ago:
quote:
I wonder as I wander out under the sky
How Jesus the Saviour did come for to die
For poor on'ry people like you and like I;
I wonder as I wander out under the sky.
Like you and like I ?!?
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
I had never really heard the lyrics to "I Wonder as I Wander" until a couple of days ago:
quote:
I wonder as I wander out under the sky
How Jesus the Saviour did come for to die
For poor on'ry people like you and like I;
I wonder as I wander out under the sky.
Like you and like I ?!?
It do be sung by Simple Rustic Folk, aaarrh.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Dogwalker:
Nobody has mentioned one that bugs me every year -- the second verse of Silent Night.
quote:
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia,
On what planet does that rhyme?
Welcome to various parts of Britain. Get yourself a nice hot lartay (coffee), sit back and enjoy the singing.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
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Posted
Until the discussion on Silent Night, I was not even aware there was a rhyming issue. For the record, I'm Canadian, born in Ontario.
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Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
quote:
Originally posted by Siegfried:
I'd always thought "The Little Boy that Santa Claus Forgot" was the most downbeat Christmas song ever, until I heard "Christmas Shoes". Really? REALLY?!
I am happy to say I never heard of "Christmas Shoes," but I just looked up the lyrics. Aaacck! I shudder to think what the tune sounds like, and I refuse to find out.
Here's what the tune sounds like: the Sum of All Earworms. The only thing worse than those self-congragilitory, pietistic, maudlin lyrics is having the chorus about Mommy having something wear when she meets Jesus tonight sung by the most twee and saccharine bunch of kidlets anyone could ever dredge up. As one commentator put it, even a nasty breakup just before Christmas and a friend who cuts you off from your coping mechanisms is better than "Christmas Shoes."
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by PeteC:
Until the discussion on Silent Night, I was not even aware there was a rhyming issue. For the record, I'm Canadian, born in Ontario.
Its a perfect rhyme here in London (not Ontario)
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Ken
L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle.
Posts: 39579 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2002
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Dogwalker
Shipmate
# 14135
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Posted
I feel like I should defend myself...
I like Silent Night. Probably the reason the (non-) rhyme bugs me so much is that it's one of its few flaws.
And I can picture it rhyming -- I live near Boston. Unfortunately, I hear it in a JFK accent. If you don't remember, he was the President worried about the Soviet missiles in Cuber, that island south of Florider.
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If God had meant for us to fly, he wouldn't have given us the railways. - Unknown
Posts: 155 | From: Milford, MA, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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leo
Shipmate
# 1458
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Posted
Doing the big shop yesterday, I thought i heard 'Never tangle with a reindeer.' But it turns out to have been this.
Posts: 23198 | From: Bristol | Registered: Oct 2001
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
Doing the big shop yesterday, I thought i heard 'Never tangle with a reindeer.'
Perfectly sound advice as this chap discovered.
[ 22. December 2013, 16:47: Message edited by: Firenze ]
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Sola gratia
Apprentice
# 14065
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Posted
"He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness' sake!" (Santa Claus is coming to town)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
Creepy as heck. As if the rest of the song weren't annoying sonically, this sounds extremely sinister. Say it in a menacing Eastenders villain growl if you don't believe me.
"Mummy, why's that old man watching me sleep? You reckon it's supposed to be a good thing that he's coming to town?" ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif)
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I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment - Bill Bailey
Posts: 20 | From: England | Registered: Aug 2008
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Dogwalker:
I like Silent Night. Probably the reason the (non-) rhyme bugs me so much is that it's one of its few flaws.
Given that it does rhyme in many parts of the world, I'd say the flaw isn't with the carol.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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SvitlanaV2
Shipmate
# 16967
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Posted
Some of us from the local churches sang carols outside Lidl (cut-price supermarket) on Saturday and 'Silent Night' was one of them. It's a bit slow and solemn for a public performance on a busy road. And where's the 'Silent Night' when you're singing as loud as you can to be heard over the noise of the traffic?
We also sang 'Good King Wenceslas', and the American dad standing next to me, who looked at it with fresh eyes, found it a rather unpleasant tale. I realised that it's only redeemed by the last two lines.
Posts: 6668 | From: UK | Registered: Feb 2012
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