Thread: Craft Projects, Recipes and 99 Other Uses: The Hell pet thread. Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.
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Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
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To Hell with people and their pets.
No, I do not hate pets. Nor do I hate people.* I do get annoyed at the bullshit surrounding pets.
1. They are not essential
2. Your desire to have fluffy-wuffykins drown you in saliva or mark you as territory does not give you the right to let them shit everywhere and destroy the local ecosystem.
By all means have a pet, but manage it properly! Or perhaps we should consider having you put down**
*Welllll, not all of them.
**For those whose brain function beyond the stem is impaired, this is hyperbole.
Posted by RuthW (# 13) on
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The thing that bugs me most about some pet owners is that they call their pets their "children" and/or refer to themselves as "pet parents." I am besotted with my two cats, but they're cats, for fuck's sake -- they're not fill-ins for the children I never had.
Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on
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I can't always control where my dog craps. But I pick it up, never fail. I've even walked back several blocks when I got caught without a bag. People who don't clean up after their pets need to know that they make us all look bad.
(On a personal note, if you put up a sign regarding my dog's crap, consider putting a two liter bottle full of plastic bags under it. It shows a little understanding for those of us who try to do the right thing.)
Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on
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My mother does that--calls the dog her daughter, etc, I mean. I refuse to be a sister to someone furry who craps in public.
Posted by Prester John (# 5502) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:
I can't always control where my dog craps. But I pick it up, never fail. I've even walked back several blocks when I got caught without a bag. People who don't clean up after their pets need to know that they make us all look bad.
(On a personal note, if you put up a sign regarding my dog's crap, consider putting a two liter bottle full of plastic bags under it. It shows a little understanding for those of us who try to do the right thing.)
As someone whose yard seems to be the toliet for the pets of every lazy jackass on the block, I commend you for cleaning up after your dog but I don't see why your neighbor should bother providing you plastic bags. Shouldn't you bring that with you before you leave your house?
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
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quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
The thing that bugs me most about some pet owners is that they call their pets their "children" and/or refer to themselves as "pet parents." I am besotted with my two cats, but they're cats, for fuck's sake -- they're not fill-ins for the children I never had.
Oh lord, yes. I know some truly frightening examples. Extending to photos of the pet to hang over the bed.
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on
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quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
The thing that bugs me most about some pet owners is that they call their pets their "children" and/or refer to themselves as "pet parents." I am besotted with my two cats, but they're cats, for fuck's sake -- they're not fill-ins for the children I never had.
Oh lord, yes. I know some truly frightening examples. Extending to photos of the pet to hang over the bed.
That the pet slept in, no doubt?
On a related note, if your girlfriend insists that the "precious baby kitties that love their mommy" get to sleep in the bed (i.e., on your face), nevermind that you're allergic, it might be a sign to run.
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Prester John:
quote:
Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:
I can't always control where my dog craps. But I pick it up, never fail. I've even walked back several blocks when I got caught without a bag. People who don't clean up after their pets need to know that they make us all look bad.
(On a personal note, if you put up a sign regarding my dog's crap, consider putting a two liter bottle full of plastic bags under it. It shows a little understanding for those of us who try to do the right thing.)
As someone whose yard seems to be the toliet for the pets of every lazy jackass on the block, I commend you for cleaning up after your dog but I don't see why your neighbor should bother providing you plastic bags. Shouldn't you bring that with you before you leave your house?
Wull, yeah, but one does run out.(I don't have a dog, and therefore do not have a dog in this fight.)
(Feel free to hate and abuse me for that one.)
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Ariston:
On a related note, if your girlfriend insists that the "precious baby kitties that love their mommy" get to sleep in the bed (i.e., on your face), nevermind that you're allergic, it might be a sign to run.
No might, run.
Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
My mother does that--calls the dog her daughter, etc, I mean. I refuse to be a sister to someone furry who craps in public.
You've never been sister to my older brother then...
Posted by Evensong (# 14696) on
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You strike me as more irritable these days lilBuddha.
Maybe you should consider changing religions? That whole nirvana and non-attachment shit doesn't seem to be doing much for you.
Posted by comet (# 10353) on
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to hell with other people's pets, I'd like to eviscerate my own pet and put his hide on my wall.
my students gave me a director's gift at curtain call last night. a perfect box of chocolates. I hid it away in my closet as a treat for later.
I come in my room tonight to find a mere scrap of the wrapping on my bed. no box, no chocolates. all totally gone.
and this brown eyed, shit filled, pile of sled dog mutt trying to look all innocent. Fuck you, you little asshole!
of course, I found this out after giving him his generous second helping of posh-ass gourmet doggy food that my mom insists is better for him and does give him a very shiny coat, so I can't even deprive him of his dinner. Despite him depriving me of my treat, which does terrible things for my coat but is delicious and I deserved it, dammit.
and while I'm writing this, my idiot cat and my mom's idiot cat decide to launch an epic smack down in the woods between our houses, leading me and my son to go hunt through the snowy woods in pajamas and snowboots and flashlights to try and save these mini freaks from themselves and their enormous General Patton egos.
if it wasn't for my inability to abuse an animal's trust and my deep dislike of rodents, the whole fucking lot of them would be in nice butcher paper in the freezer TONIGHT.
[ 03. February 2014, 07:17: Message edited by: comet ]
Posted by Left at the Altar (# 5077) on
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quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
The thing that bugs me most about some pet owners is that they call their pets their "children" and/or refer to themselves as "pet parents." I am besotted with my two cats, but they're cats, for fuck's sake -- they're not fill-ins for the children I never had.
Preach it, sister! Shits me too.
I have two cats. I am very fond of them. But they are cats. If they get cancer, they'll get the green dream and burial in a communal cat grave. Not so my actual children.
Posted by Adeodatus (# 4992) on
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quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
... the bullshit surrounding pets ...
... is virtually inevitable if the pet is a bull.
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on
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Who will be granted individual graves.
Oh, and dogs. The whole yappy, slobbering, pawing tribe of them. No, I don't need to know its name - it's Bog Off.
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on
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We have gerbils.
We refer to them as "our babies".
I don't give a single furry fuck if that bugs you.
Posted by mdijon (# 8520) on
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What you get up to with your gerbils in private is your business Marvin.
Posted by Liopleurodon (# 4836) on
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Crazy cat lady here. Yup, my cat is "mummy's little furry baby" but that's because that's the kind of relationship we have because she's that kind of cat and I'm that kind of human. She sees me as her mother and is very kittenish and clingy around me. If she were of a more independent character I'd talk about her differently. I am aware that she isn't a human child - I don't want any of those. They're way too loud.
Posted by Earwig (# 12057) on
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I call my cat "mummy's little furry parasite". Cats are very well adapted parasites, and mummy loves them, yes she does.
If I ever get a dog I will call it Grendel.
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Evensong:
You strike me as more irritable these days lilBuddha.
Maybe you should consider changing religions? That whole nirvana and non-attachment shit doesn't seem to be doing much for you.
Like Christianity? You do not actually read posts on this website, do you?
I started this thread in an attempt to save the TICTH thread, which, ISTM, serves a function for a lot of posters here.*
And because I am irritated about the environment disasters caused by people not controlling their pets.**
*Concern for others. I do post on that thread, but not all that often.
**Concern for animals and people.
Explain to me how Christianity disagrees with these values?
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
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^ Christianity has more of a 'the earth is ours to conquer and exploit and fuck the consequences' vibe sometimes.
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
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Right then, I'll switch. That attitude is bound to make me less grumpy.
Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on
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She didn't say Christianity. Maybe she meant Shinto. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
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Just for the record, I am not attacking Christianity. The weakest component of any religion is people. If we can just work out how to eliminate this weakness, religion will sort itself out nicely.
ETA: 'Tis true, LR, I made an assumption. Bad, lilBuddha, no enlightenment for you!
[ 03. February 2014, 11:56: Message edited by: lilBuddha ]
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
She didn't say Christianity. Maybe she meant Shinto.
In Shinto does one venerate the ancestors of one's cats?
Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
She didn't say Christianity. Maybe she meant Shinto.
In Shinto does one venerate the ancestors of one's cats?
Good question.
But religion-wise it has been all downhill for cats since their hay-day in ancient Egypt.
Posted by Stercus Tauri (# 16668) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
She didn't say Christianity. Maybe she meant Shinto.
In Shinto does one venerate the ancestors of one's cats?
No, no. Shinto is a violent game played in the Highlands involving wooden sticks and a lot of mud, where you beat the living daylights out of your enemies. I don't know if it works with cats, but might be worth a try.
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on
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No it doesn't. They can't really hold the sticks with their paws and they have a tendency to stop playing to lick their bottom or have a snooze.
Posted by JonahMan (# 12126) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
No it doesn't. They can't really hold the sticks with their paws and they have a tendency to stop playing to lick their bottom or have a snooze.
Strangely, this also applies to Og's older brother.
Posted by IngoB (# 8700) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
We have gerbils. We refer to them as "our babies".
I'm sure they look just like mum and dad, too.
Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on
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quote:
Originally posted by JonahMan:
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
No it doesn't. They can't really hold the sticks with their paws and they have a tendency to stop playing to lick their bottom or have a snooze.
Strangely, this also applies to Og's older brother.
I'm having lunch with him in a few hours, and he will be so pleased to hear how we are speaking of him.
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
I started this thread in an attempt to save the TICTH thread, which, ISTM, serves a function for a lot of posters here.*
In my summer internship at the District Attorney's office, I learned a number of lessons, but one that really stuck. It is easier to get someone to plead guilty to a major felony than to get someone to plead guilty for a dog at large ticket. Even when justified, people don't let anyone say anything bad about their dog. I understand what you were trying to do, but next time you should start with something less likely to elicit an emotional response, such as calling Mohamed or someone's mother to hell.
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:
but next time you should start with something less likely to elicit an emotional response, such as calling Mohamed or someone's mother to hell.
But, so far, the response has been rather meh.
I am dead serious about calling to Hell those who let their pets destroy wildlife.
Pin-headed, emotionally stunted imbeciles who let their cats prey on endangered animals.
Microcephalic morons who release their pets into the wild because they did not have the intelligence to understand the life cycle or the courage to end one life to save thousands.
Posted by Tortuf (# 3784) on
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I LOVE MY FLOCK OF PET GNATS.
How can you possibly get offended when people are ooey and gooey about their pets? DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT THEY MEAN TO US?
My gnats sleep with me almost every night when I am camping. They only stay away when the temperature is 40 degrees Fahrenheit or less. I have trained them to land on my nose and my eyelids and to fly all around my face and ears. I ALWAYS have company when I need it while camping. They are my precious pets.
The only reason why I don't have a picture of them over my bed is I can't afford a wide angle macro lens just right now.
So there grumpy boots.
Posted by quetzalcoatl (# 16740) on
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quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
quote:
Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:
but next time you should start with something less likely to elicit an emotional response, such as calling Mohamed or someone's mother to hell.
But, so far, the response has been rather meh.
I am dead serious about calling to Hell those who let their pets destroy wildlife.
Pin-headed, emotionally stunted imbeciles who let their cats prey on endangered animals.
Microcephalic morons who release their pets into the wild because they did not have the intelligence to understand the life cycle or the courage to end one life to save thousands.
I'm involved in ornithological work, and quite frequently there is a hue and cry in the tabloids about various predators, such as magpies, killing young birds (which they do), so let's cull magpies. But many birders reply with one voice, 'OK, but let's start by shooting all the fucking cats'.
Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on
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And the bonus is that gnats will likely never cause any other species species to go extinct. ![[Cool]](cool.gif)
Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on
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How do you know? They might be carrying some disease deadly to the last remnants of some threatened species.
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
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Oh Tortuf, to praise you or curse you. The laughter you caused induced a coughing fit. I shall settle for this ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on
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I am afraid that for some of you h8rs of pets the wheel in your head is turning awful slowly now that you killed your gerbil.
Pets are some of the nicest people I know, present company included and excluded. You know who you are.
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
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The deceased rodent you smell is coming from a slightly closer source, n p. no one here has mentioned hating pets. Just irresponsible, selfish owners.
Posted by comet (# 10353) on
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actually, I mentioned hating my pets.
luckily, I have a soft spot for the little fuckers (in my head, obviously) so I'm over it for the moment.
Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
We have gerbils. I don't give a single furry fuck if that bugs you.
Careful with the matches
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on
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quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
no one here has mentioned hating pets.
Please sir! Me sir! I don't like dogs as pets! (Rounding up Sheep or pulling sledges or digging people out of snowdrifts - fine. Indoors? Nope.)
Posted by John Holding (# 158) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Stercus Tauri:
quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
She didn't say Christianity. Maybe she meant Shinto.
In Shinto does one venerate the ancestors of one's cats?
No, no. Shinto is a violent game played in the Highlands involving wooden sticks and a lot of mud, where you beat the living daylights out of your enemies. I don't know if it works with cats, but might be worth a try.
Where is Campbelllite when we need him? I'm sure his cogitations on how to deal with cats must have included battering to death. THough it occurs to me that the kind of battering he had in mind involved beer, flour and a deep fryer.
John
Posted by Moo (# 107) on
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For those who have never seen it and those who want to re-read it, here is the Cats thread.
Moo
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on
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Good Lord, some of those smilies from the Old Days are annoying. Ditto some of the cuteness—the more I read, the more I'm on the side of those breaking out the barbecue sauce and making moggies go woof.
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on
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quote:
Originally posted by IngoB:
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
We have gerbils. We refer to them as "our babies".
I'm sure they look just like mum and dad, too.
I wish I was that cute.
Posted by Evensong (# 14696) on
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Esau was an hairy man...
Posted by Ad Orientem (# 17574) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:
I can't always control where my dog craps. But I pick it up, never fail. I've even walked back several blocks when I got caught without a bag. People who don't clean up after their pets need to know that they make us all look bad.
(On a personal note, if you put up a sign regarding my dog's crap, consider putting a two liter bottle full of plastic bags under it. It shows a little understanding for those of us who try to do the right thing.)
Well, that's the main reason why I would never have a dog. There's no way I'm picking up dog shit and carrying it around with me. I couldn't think of many things more demeaning.
[ 04. February 2014, 10:42: Message edited by: Ad Orientem ]
Posted by IngoB (# 8700) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
quote:
Originally posted by IngoB:
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
We have gerbils. We refer to them as "our babies".
I'm sure they look just like mum and dad, too.
I wish I was that cute.
Oh, so it's her looks but your brains?
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on
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Pretty much, yeah ![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
Posted by Twilight (# 2832) on
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My baby girl dachshund not only sleeps in the bed with me at night, she's usually on my lap at the computer, under my T-shirt with her long pointy head nestled between my boobs.
Read it and weep. Or vomit a little, either one.
You know what else is sickening? Her doodle area (yes I have cutesy euphemisms for everything she does) has been covered by a snow drift for weeks. It just melted enough yesterday for all of the doodles to rise to the top so that when I looked outside, it was like a ten by twenty area of snow covered in tootsie rolls.
Posted by Twilight (# 2832) on
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Well I knew it was disgusting but I didn't think it would totally stop the thread.
Anyway. I just got back from running errands and I now realize that the feral cats that have been sleeping in my car this winter have made it smell so bad, that it might actually be considered totaled. Wonder if my insurance will cover it?
Posted by RuthW (# 13) on
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The thread stopped on February 4, and your little tootsie rolls did not revive it!
Posted by Twilight (# 2832) on
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Ahhhh. So it did. I guess it took me 16 days to figure out that title.
Posted by RuthW (# 13) on
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That probably puts you way ahead of way too many people.
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