|
Source: (consider it)
|
Thread: Blue Christmas
|
no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
|
Posted
I saw the Christmas traditions thread in Heaven, and realized that we've lost ours. Baking is now for giving away. No one really needs anything re presents, though a book is nice. Our church was closed in the summer and amalgamated with another, and we don't really feel at home there and plan to search a bit for an alternate in the New Year, feeling disconnected from church thus also.
Things have changed much for us in the last 2 years and much also within the last 5. All of the markers for Christmas with people have changed: one of our children now lives in England, we have only one of our parents now left alive, all of my scant set of relatives are 3000 km and more distant, and this year, the one family within driving range (400 km) goes to their other side of their family. So it will be only 3 of us at Christmas, 4 if we're lucky if the remaining prior generation (my father) can manage it and we him.
I imagine others are in similar waters (or snow drifts), finding Xmas not quite the joyous thing it was in the past. I feel it is more lonely. Hence my thought to start this thread. -- I think that if the weather is decent we'll go skiing on Xmas day. And try not to listen to sappy "I'll be home for Christmas but only in my dreams" type music. Except that we're home and the dreams are of absent and deceased family. We're scouting for people who might join us for Xmas dinner....
--------------------
Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
| IP: Logged
|
|
Alan Cresswell
Mad Scientist 先生
# 31
|
Posted
I am determined to celebrate Christmas, although there is little to celebrate in life at present. It is, afterall, the day we remember the Incarnation of our Lord, Christ Jesus. And, if that isn't a reason to celebrate then nothing is. The logistics of how that celebration will happen are, however, a different matter.
It's New Year I'm not looking forward to. For me, that's been the time to look back and be thankfully for the year that has gone, and to look forward in hope of a good year to come. That's hard when the year that's gone has been hell, and when there's scant hope for anything better in the year to come.
--------------------
Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.
Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
lily pad
Shipmate
# 11456
|
Posted
Similar to both above. Job is ending and I am packing up one house and closing up the office. Sadness and a sense of failure all around. I suspect it will be a quiet Christmas.
--------------------
Sloppiness is not caring. Fussiness is caring about the wrong things. With thanks to Adeodatus!
Posts: 2468 | From: Truly Canadian | Registered: May 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Caissa
Shipmate
# 16710
|
Posted
My mother was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. It seems more important at the moment than celebrating Christmas although we will.
Posts: 972 | From: Saint John, N.B. | Registered: Oct 2011
| IP: Logged
|
|
Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
|
Posted
This Christmas will be tough, not least because we need to get Mum through it. Mum does not mean to be difficult, but a combination of mild SADS and moderate dementia is not a good one. Dad had major heart surgery this year and they both want to play Christmas as usual. That means going up to my sisters on Christmas day. It may well be too much for Mum in which case Dad and I will bear the brunt of her mood.
I am still in the final stages of writing thesis, I will not escape over New Year as my God family where I went has gone into melt down, close friend here is seriously ill (see prayer thread).
Somehow I will get to Christmas, and I am almost looking forward to New Year and just working on my thesis.
Jengie
--------------------
"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
It's New Year I'm not looking forward to.
You and me both, Alan. While Christmas will be OK, I expect to be alone on NY Eve, which actually suits me fine; all I want to do that night is curl up in front of the TV in my PJs and put a bunch of old movies on.
(And if one more person says, "It's the first year that's hard" ...)
--------------------
Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
|
Posted
It [i] is hard celebrating Christmas alone, even if one tries to focus on Christ's birth. I do have a largish family, but they are wide-spread and tend to party in family groups. If anyone comes at all, it is almost an afterthought.
My wife is long-divorced. I haven't seen the kids for 27 years, and I doubt they spend much time thinking of me.
It's one of the reasons I go away from before Christmas until after Easter. These are two of the most family-centered festal times in my calendar.
So I figured that I could spend the time moping, or making my own new Christmas celebrations. Being warm is a big set of bonus points. And I love my newly extended family.
But for all those who have just had their family times ripped apart, I send my deepest sympathy and lots of virtual hugs. I will be thinking of you all. God bless. ![[Votive]](graemlins/votive.gif)
--------------------
Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
|
Posted
I will have my family,such as is left of it, around for Christmas, but my daughter and her husband, who have been living with me, have just gotten their own apartment, and will most likely be moved out by then. So although they will be here, it'll only be for the day, and I'll be living alone for the first time in my life. Happy as I am about them getting their own place, I'm sad and scared at living alone, and the holidays seems a poor time to start the new arrangement.
Plus of course I miss my parents dreadfully, both dead now, and my ex-husband is gone out of my life, the holidays aren't what they were.
--------------------
On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!
Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Auntie Doris
Screen Goddess
# 9433
|
Posted
Christmas for us this year will be tough. Mum died unexpectedly in September and I am still not sure what life looks like without her. I especially don't know how to do Christmas without her.
Auntie Doris x
--------------------
"And you don't get to pronounce that I am not a Christian. Nope. Not in your remit nor power." - iGeek in response to a gay-hater :)
The life and times of a Guernsey cow
Posts: 6019 | From: The Rock at the Centre of the Universe | Registered: May 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
|
Posted
Alan and Mama - that was me a few years ago. for different reasons (or maybe similar but not same). When New Years rolled around, I remember having the same thoughts.
and then I celebrated that particular year being over, all done, zipped up, the lid firmly back in place. Sometimes, at New Years, we have to celebrate having survived the year instead of having any fondness for it whatsoever.
I'll be with you guys this year. 2013 has not been a good one. But who knows, 2014 may be the best one yet. I have to hope.
so, perhaps, here's the new beginnings! and here's a central digit to the shit that went down in 2013.
--------------------
Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505
|
Posted
Disfunctional family? Check. Not settled in a church community this Christmas? Check. Sandwiched between the demands and the nostalgia of different generations? Check.
So I made a Blue Christmas tree this year, and chose symbols to hang on it that represent all of the above. Found a place nearby to go to midnight mass on Christmas Eve because it is lovely to simply warm a pew and not be involved in all the "doing" that has to happen to create a beautiful service. Offered to run a devotion on Christmas morning at a local nursing home because nothing happens there on the day itself. This was gratefully received.
I suspect that the Wonder of Christmas happens in different ways at different times of our lives. I'm trying to roll with it.
--------------------
Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.
Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mamacita:
quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
It's New Year I'm not looking forward to.
You and me both, Alan. While Christmas will be OK, I expect to be alone on NY Eve, which actually suits me fine; all I want to do that night is curl up in front of the TV in my PJs and put a bunch of old movies on.
(And if one more person says, "It's the first year that's hard" ...)
it's funny--- when I was married, the day after Christmas and New Year's were the days I looked forward to; Day After was a gag gift exchange with the friends, and New Year's was the South Park marathon and me plastering on red lipstick and leaving big kiss marks on everyone's faces at midnight. Then in the morning I would break out the waffle iron and everyone would come over for breakfast.
It was the idea of making new traditions with a family of my own, even just a family of friends, that excited me.
Last NYE was a freaking disaster and my resolve to continue hanging out at the cafe where I spent it was broken by the fact that it closed that night.Permanently. I couldn't even follow the cool band I saw there, because the lead guitarist broke both arms in a car crash.(If some of you remember that story-- the Steely Dan fan. Noooo!!!)
SO I am going to a venue in my favorite town, where I stand to see a few people I know-- which is really all I want-- but I am worried the place might burn down or explode or something with me hanging around. I mean geez, a car crash? Really?
Christmas at least I will have my big pack of Adventist cousins with me to sob over the Dr. Who season finale with me.
--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
RuthW
liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13
|
Posted
My father died very early yesterday morning, and the funeral will be on the 23rd. This will be far and away the most fucked-up Christmas of my life. I don't know how any of us will do any shopping, and the prospect of getting through the day itself makes me feel sick to my stomach.
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
|
Posted
… yeah.
The first Christmas after my (step)dad died, all I could do when I walked in the family party was search the room to find my favorite cousin, and I planted myself next to him and didn't move all day, pretty much. I was just like, I don't have the energy to fake it, I just need to position myself by someone who won't make me fake it.
--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
|
Posted
I'm so sorry, Ruth. No doubt about it, it will be rough. My mom died suddenly on Dec. 7 twelve years ago. No warning. We were all in shock. Frankly, I don't even remember Christmas that year. It's a blank. I'll keep you and yours in my prayers.
--------------------
"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
|
Posted
Sorry to hear Ruth.
No advice except freeze all the extra food people show up with. You can eat it in January. It's a good idea, trust me on that. And take care, and know that strangers understand.
--------------------
Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
| IP: Logged
|
|
Meg the Red
Shipmate
# 11838
|
Posted
Ruth, I'm so sorry.
The first Christmas after my stepdaughter died is still a blur. (We got news of her death while doing some early Christmas shopping for her and her daughter.) We got through by focussing on our grandchildren, and by keeping everything else as simple as we could. There wasn't the energy for anything complex, anyway . . .
We light a candle for those we've lost, and have found it's possible to grieve and celebrate at the same time. And screw anyone who says that's not okay.
--------------------
Chocoholic Canuckistani Cyclopath
Posts: 1126 | From: Rat Creek | Registered: Sep 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
|
Posted
It's 45 years ago since my father was killed in an auto accident on December 1st. The most macabre thing was going through the Christmas parcels after the funeral and pulling out all gifts purchased for him, alone, and relabelling them, if appropriate, for Mother, relabelling joint gifts, and such. Mother left presents from Dad to us untouched, and there were tears on Christmas Day. But mostly, we held it together for the grandchildren.
That Christmas is burned in my memory. As are others, since.
--------------------
Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
Piglet
Islander
# 11803
|
Posted
So sorry to hear about your father, Ruth. There's never a good time for that to happen, but two weeks before Christmas is a really bad time.
May he rest in peace and rise in glory.
--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
quetzalcoatl
Shipmate
# 16740
|
Posted
I'm very sorry, RuthW.
I always have a blue period before Christmas, with thoughts of family, who are nearly all dead, and usually a couple of friends, who have died. I suppose I also remember Christmases when I was a kid, it seems a long time ago, of course, and then I miss mum and dad.
Then after that bout of introspection, I can enjoy Christmas.
--------------------
I can't talk to you today; I talked to two people yesterday.
Posts: 9878 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2011
| IP: Logged
|
|
Heavenly Anarchist
Shipmate
# 13313
|
Posted
I am so sorry Ruth
I mourn my father most on Boxing Day, as that was the last day I saw him, he suddenly died on January 3rd while I was on holiday (he had cancer but was still fairly well at Christmas). I left him without saying a final goodbye as he was asleep when I left. That was 15 years ago but I still always think of him on Boxing Day. The first anniversary was awful, I was newly married and at my inlaws, their Christmas was totally alien to mine at home and I was completely miserable throughout it.
Since then my mother has also died and I, too, feel sad when I remember childhood Christmases and think of them when buying presents.
--------------------
'I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.' Douglas Adams
Dog Activity Monitor
My shop
Posts: 2831 | From: Trumpington | Registered: Jan 2008
| IP: Logged
|
|
Thyme
Shipmate
# 12360
|
Posted
I am so sorry Ruth. My father died on Nov 27th this year. The funeral was Dec 6th. I am thankful it wasn't closer to Christmas.
quote:
We got through by focussing on our grandchildren, and by keeping everything else as simple as we could. There wasn't the energy for anything complex, anyway . . .
We light a candle for those we've lost, and have found it's possible to grieve and celebrate at the same time. And screw anyone who says that's not okay. [/QB]
This is what is working for me/us. I was also given some advice to 'focus on the living'.
Dad was in a nursing home and frankly we have been astonished he has carried on so long. Nevertheless we were not expecting him to die right now and it has been a huge shock.
In some ways it being Christmas helps as it is so busy and there is so much to do and think about.
--------------------
The Church in its own bubble has become, at best the guardian of the value system of the nation’s grandparents, and at worst a den of religious anoraks defined by defensiveness, esoteric logic and discrimination. Bishop of Buckingham's blog
Posts: 600 | From: Cloud Cuckoo Land | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged
|
|
sophs
Sardonic Angel
# 2296
|
Posted
Ruth, I'm so sorry.
Mum always said that after dad died the first two Christmases we the worst, the first because of what you've lost and the second because of how far you've come.
For the fist Christmas after dad died we went to a hotel and it was hell. I hated it and no one else enjoyed it much. It would have been much better to try and make it normal, which is what we did the year after, although we ate at a restaurant.
I'm dreading this Christmas as I was so looking forward to being pregnant, and getting gifts for the Pip, but now there's no chance of that. I lucky that mum will understand the grief better than depression, even though one is feeding the other.
Posts: 5407 | From: searching saharas of sorrow | Registered: Feb 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
MrsBeaky
Shipmate
# 17663
|
Posted
It's a time of such mixed feelings, isn't it?
As others have said it is good to be able to celebrate the incarnation but at the same time I love Christmas in the Northern hemisphere and just as at Thanksgiving, I'm struggling with homesickness...
I am also trying not to feel too guilty as I know our family are going to miss us as we celebrate our second Christmas apart.
I remember the first Christmas after my Dad died and my birthday which comes straight afterwards...Dad always made a fuss of my birthday and it was poignant not hearing from him.
for all of you
--------------------
"It is better to be kind than right."
http://davidandlizacooke.wordpress.com
Posts: 693 | From: UK/ Kenya | Registered: Apr 2013
| IP: Logged
|
|
Caissa
Shipmate
# 16710
|
Posted
My condolences, Ruth.
Posts: 972 | From: Saint John, N.B. | Registered: Oct 2011
| IP: Logged
|
|
Spike
Mostly Harmless
# 36
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
My father died very early yesterday morning, and the funeral will be on the 23rd. This will be far and away the most fucked-up Christmas of my life. I don't know how any of us will do any shopping, and the prospect of getting through the day itself makes me feel sick to my stomach.
That was my Christmas 2 years ago, and my mother's funeral was also on Dec 23rd - a horrible cold, wet, foggy day. The only up side (if you can believe such a thing exists right now) was that we didn't have to go through Christmas with the prospect of the funeral looming over us but it still wasn't a great time. My prayers are with you
--------------------
"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing
Posts: 12860 | From: The Valley of Crocuses | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
|
Posted
Yesterday I attended a carol service at King's College on the Strand, London. The prayers are offered in an unusual way, with members of the congregation writing on paper and then making paper darts and throwing them, so others may offer their prayers for them. Because of where I sit, I don't tend to receive any, so afterwards pick up, and pray those left behind.
One has stuck in my mind, so offer it here, as well.
"Please support those who fear Christmas. Whether through fear of being alone, or fear of being with family."
Somebody needs help.
And Ruth, my thoughts are with you - both my parents died shortly before Easters.
[ 11. December 2013, 12:53: Message edited by: Penny S ]
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
| IP: Logged
|
|
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
|
Posted
((Ruth))
Make it as easy to do as possible, and have readily available escapism to dive into as needed, be that candy crush, Jane Austen or Grand Theft Auto.
--------------------
All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
|
Posted
Ruth ![[Tear]](graemlins/tear.gif)
My mum is in a bad way, she may make it to Christmas but she's stick thin and her lungs are slowly filling up.
--------------------
Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
| IP: Logged
|
|
RuthW
liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13
|
Posted
Boogie
Thank you, everyone, for your thoughts, prayers and advice. It all truly helps.
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
QLib
Bad Example
# 43
|
Posted
--------------------
Tradition is the handing down of the flame, not the worship of the ashes Gustav Mahler.
Posts: 8913 | From: Page 28 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Thyme
Shipmate
# 12360
|
Posted
Boogie
--------------------
The Church in its own bubble has become, at best the guardian of the value system of the nation’s grandparents, and at worst a den of religious anoraks defined by defensiveness, esoteric logic and discrimination. Bishop of Buckingham's blog
Posts: 600 | From: Cloud Cuckoo Land | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ags
Knocked up
# 204
|
Posted
Ruth - you have my prayers too.
So sorry for your loss
And Boogie - prayers for you and your Mum
--------------------
I think that we are most ourselves at our best, because that is what God intended us to be. The us we really like, the us that others love to be with. Moth
Posts: 2707 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
|
Posted
Prayers for both Ruth and Boogie
And for all facing a Blue Christmas.
--------------------
Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
St Everild
Shipmate
# 3626
|
Posted
Yeah, Christmas sucks for so many people.
Prayers for Ruth, Boogie & Sophs...
Posts: 1782 | From: Bethnei | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ye Olde Motherboarde
Ship's Mother and Singing Quilter
# 54
|
Posted
My dear children, Ruth, Boogie and Sophs, I send my prayers and love to all of you.
I, too, know how the Christmas season can bring bad memories. My father went home to God on December 18 many years ago, I was sitting with him and hearing the oxygen stopping is a sound I have never forgotten. Years later, on the same day, my dear Miss Molly went home, too. Then, losing Erin in December, well let's just say, I like to remove the whole month from the calendar.
--------------------
In Memory of Miss Molly, TimC, Gambit, KenWritez, koheleth, Leetle Masha, JLG, Genevieve, Erin, RuthW2, deuce2, Sidi and TonyCoxon, unbeliever, Morlader, Ken :tear: 20 years but who’s counting?..................
Posts: 4292 | From: Looking for more trouble to get into | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Piglet
Islander
# 11803
|
Posted
for Ruth, Boogie and Sophs.
--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
|
Posted
My grandmother died on Christmas Day 1998. We went to church in the morning, went straight from there to the hospital to see her, and she died while we were there.
It's a terrible thing to have happen at any time of year, but at Christmas it's just that much worse. My sympathies and prayers are with those who are suffering through it this year. God bless us.
--------------------
Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
la vie en rouge
Parisienne
# 10688
|
Posted
![[Frown]](frown.gif) I think this is the flipside of the “Christmas traditions” thread in Heaven. ‘Cause at Christmas lots of us want everything to stay the same, you know? Except it doesn’t.
The big hole in my family has the shape of my Uncle. I never realized how he was the centre of getting the whole family together until he wasn’t there anymore.
--------------------
Rent my holiday home in the South of France
Posts: 3696 | Registered: Nov 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
Anglo Catholic Relict
Shipmate
# 17213
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
My father died very early yesterday morning, and the funeral will be on the 23rd. This will be far and away the most fucked-up Christmas of my life. I don't know how any of us will do any shopping, and the prospect of getting through the day itself makes me feel sick to my stomach.
I am very sorry to hear that. Please accept my condolences, Ruth.
Posts: 585 | Registered: Jul 2012
| IP: Logged
|
|
Anglo Catholic Relict
Shipmate
# 17213
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
Ruth
My mum is in a bad way, she may make it to Christmas but she's stick thin and her lungs are slowly filling up.
I am very sorry to hear that, Boogie.
Posts: 585 | Registered: Jul 2012
| IP: Logged
|
|
Anglo Catholic Relict
Shipmate
# 17213
|
Posted
My d's father, my former h, died in 2011. New Year 2012 was a very difficult time; it felt as if I was leaving him behind in 2011; abandoning him to wherever he was. I felt guilty about that.
New Year 2013 did not feel the same way. But it is still not easy to remember that he is not around any more.
Posts: 585 | Registered: Jul 2012
| IP: Logged
|
|
Trudy Scrumptious
BBE Shieldmaiden
# 5647
|
Posted
Ruth and everyone else who's lost a family member this year, or for whom the season otherwise sucks.
My mom died suddenly in April so we have had some months to get used to her loss but the first Christmas without a loved one is definitely strange. I vividly remember this time last year arguing with her about her usual plans to bring a whole bunch of food items to the Christmas Eve family dinner at my house, and me telling her, "You know, the time is eventually going to come when you're going to have to take it easy and let me do more of the work!" Well, that time never did come; she was, as they say around here, steady go right till the end. And now my husband and kids and I, and my widowed dad, are trying to feel our way through Christmas without her.
One small upside I have found though ... the first Christmas after a big loss, everyone's expectations are wonderfully low. No pressure to make Christmas picture-perfect; if we all survive till January 2 it will have been a success by definition. As for things I don't feel up to doing - like cards, this year? Frig 'em.
--------------------
Books and things.
I lied. There are no things. Just books.
Posts: 7428 | From: Closer to Paris than I am to Vancouver | Registered: Mar 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Auntie Doris:
Mum died unexpectedly in September and I am still not sure what life looks like without her.
I know that feeling. My mum died in September 2012 and I'm still not sure how life works without her.
Ruth... Boogie... All who are facing a tough Christmas -
--------------------
They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
| IP: Logged
|
|
St. Gwladys
Shipmate
# 14504
|
Posted
{{ Ruth, Boogie, Sophs}}
--------------------
"I say - are you a matelot?"
"Careful what you say sir, we're on board ship here"
From "New York Girls", Steeleye Span, Commoners Crown (Voiced by Peter Sellers)
Posts: 3333 | From: Rhymney Valley, South Wales | Registered: Jan 2009
| IP: Logged
|
|
Carex
Shipmate
# 9643
|
Posted
Eleven years ago my mother woke up ill on Christmas morning and died in the hospital the next day. It was not the happiest family Christmas - I can't even remember what we did for Christmas dinner, etc. I was particularly sad for my two nieces who arrived that morning but didn't get to see her because she hadn't gotten dressed for company.
Life happens, and at some point you just have to put the past behind you and focus on the future. But it isn't always easy, or comfortable.
Posts: 1425 | Registered: Jun 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
Jammy Dodger
Half jam, half biscuit
# 17872
|
Posted
for all those struggling with the loss of a loved one this Christmas
--------------------
Look at my eye twitching - Donkey from Shrek
Posts: 438 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2013
| IP: Logged
|
|
Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
|
Posted
A well-loved member of our little church will die within the next few days. She has struggled with health issues all the time I've known her, but she has always pulled through. It doesn't look like she will this time. She still had all her faculties today so she talked to the vicar and made her own funeral arrangements for Dec. 28. I hope all her family can get here to see her before she dies. And I pray that her husband, as wonderful a person as she is, will find some strength and comfort in his family, friends, and faith.
What is it with these December deaths?
--------------------
"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Thyme
Shipmate
# 12360
|
Posted
The Church of England in its own inimitable way, having ignored our wishes about the funeral service at the crem, is now making the arrangements for the internment of ashes as difficult as possible.
And they wonder why people stay as far away from the church as possible. The prospects of any of my family feeling any attraction to the church or its religion are zilch.
I have told my next of kin that my funeral and disposal of ashes are to be arranged without benefit of clergy and outwith of the church. I do not want my next of kin to have to deal with all this C**P on top of everything else.
So much for pastoral sensitivity and a welcoming church.
And this is in relation to someone who in his day gave a great deal of service to the church and continued to support the parish financially till he died.
![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
[ 13. December 2013, 13:00: Message edited by: Thyme ]
--------------------
The Church in its own bubble has become, at best the guardian of the value system of the nation’s grandparents, and at worst a den of religious anoraks defined by defensiveness, esoteric logic and discrimination. Bishop of Buckingham's blog
Posts: 600 | From: Cloud Cuckoo Land | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged
|
|
Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
|
Posted
I'm in process of arranging for my body to go to the local medical college for carving up by some baby doctor - that way there is no problem as they will cremate the bits some time later and dispose of them decently - though they can dispose of me indecently if they really want.
--------------------
I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
Printer-friendly view
