Thread: Man's best friend is dying Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.
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Posted by Gareth (# 2494) on
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I know she's dying, and so does she.
Just for clarity, she's a spaniel. I bought her a decade ago and she was there for me through all my illnesses, my forced medical retirement, and the isolation that followed.
She's not in pain, but she knows. If you've owned a dog for the duration of its life you'll understand; if you haven't then you'll probably think I'm making excuses for keeping an animal alive while it is in pain (so I'll make allowances for your ignorance but ignore your opinion, if it's all the same.)
As Lord Sir Alan of Sugar once said, "If I want a friend I'll buy a dog."
How do you make the decision to take your best friend to the vet and pay for the lethal injection?
Posted by quetzalcoatl (# 16740) on
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It's one of the worst things I ever did, and it still haunts me. I left it until my dog could hardly stand up, because I didn't want to lose him. So then I had to carry him into the vet's, and then he got his injection, and his heart stopped. Terrible.
Posted by comet (# 10353) on
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I've had to do it a couple of times. I don't know how I knew when was the time, but I knew. something about the look in his eyes.
I wish someone could someday do it for me.
Posted by bib (# 13074) on
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My beloved dog is 15 going on 16 and each morning I face the situation that he may have died in his sleep. However, although he is very arthritic, short of breath and sleeps most of the day, he appears happy. It is hard to know the point when the vet may have to intervene. I'm hoping Toby will just go peacefully in his sleep so that I have an excuse to avoid the painful last visit to Dr Vet. I feel for your pain.
Posted by nickel (# 8363) on
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Gareth, I'm so sorry. Rough times and tears ahead. We lost our Annie to lymphoma 10 years ago. We found the lump in her throat in February, she lasted until September. We knew she was ready for us to make the call the night she refused salmon (salmon!) for dinner. Four years ago, Lola's sore leg turned out to be bone cancer. Her strength declined very drastically during her final month, but not her spirit. There came a day I watched her sitting on her favorite porch rug, but -- unlike ever before -- her eyes were staring a thousand yards away. I knew she was ready to be elsewhere.
You know your dog better than anyone. Make the best decision for her that you can, it won't be right and it won't be wrong. No matter what happens when, she'll love you. It'll be okay.
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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on
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Not sure that this fits the remit of Heaven, so I'll just check with my fellow hosts to see about moving it. We'll get back to you.
Ariel
Heaven Host
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on
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Just moving your thread into All Saints, where I hope you'll find the sympathy and support you need at this difficult time.
Best,
Ariel
Heaven Host
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Been there and the memory still makes me tear up over 20 years later.
I agree that you will probably know when the time has come - it is never easy but it IS ultimately a kindness.
Posted by M. (# 3291) on
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Yes, I'm tearing up too. A horrible thing to have to do. But you do have to. Your dog trusts you in everything, she'll trust you in this as well.
Macarius and I know we left it too long with our dear Ozy and it was not fair on her.
M.
Posted by busyknitter (# 2501) on
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Oh Gareth, I'm so sorry. I can't believe she's ten years old, I remember you getting her. What everyone has said here about when the time comes you'll just know sounds very "right".
Posted by Huia (# 3473) on
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I took my cat Patch for her last visit to the vet when I looked at her sitting in the sun and realised she wasn't enjoying it. The vet had said, "you'll know when it's time." I didn't think I would - but I did.
The vet nurse said it was the last good thing I could do for her -and it was. The vet let me hold her as she died, then wrapped her in her blanket and I took her home and buried her.
The other cat watched her being buried.
Posted by Gareth (# 2494) on
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She's still a happy little thing, still wagging her tail and pleased to see everyone.
But all she wants to do these days is be held.
Posted by Pine Marten (# 11068) on
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Gareth, I'm so sorry. We've had many pets over the years and it's always a wrench letting go. The last cat of ours to go was our dear Louis, in 2011, and I still think of him, and all the others. But we still have three - couldn't live withoout them!
My sympathy to you and love to your spaniel.
Posted by Drifting Star (# 12799) on
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There will be a point at which you can see that she's not interested in life anymore, and the look in her eyes will be asking you to make it all go away.
You'll know, and it will be hard, but you'll know that it is the right thing to do.
Prayers and thoughts for you both - and thanksgiving for 10 years of love and friendship that you will never lose.
Posted by Nicodemia (# 4756) on
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Gareth, as others have said, you will know. I've had to do it twice and it still tears me up when I think of it. And now our current dog is nearing the last year or so of her life.......
Prayers for you and your family. its hard I know.
Posted by BashfulAnthony (# 15624) on
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My deepest sympathies to you. I'm destroyed just reading all this - I pray you cope.
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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We will have the same thing at some point.
I will not cope.
My family will not cope.
I cannot contemplate it.
Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on
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It is the curse that man was born for;
It is Margaret that you mourn for..
And no easier if it is a furry friend.
Posted by Meg the Red (# 11838) on
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I'm so sorry, Gareth - it's such a wrenching decision.
We had to have elderkitty put down last year, and our "young" cat is now 17, so we'll be facing it again in the near future. I agree that lack of interest in favourite things is a great indicator. It helps to talk to someone else who knows your pet well to check your perceptions, as love for our animals can affect our judgement re: their condition.
[ 22. May 2014, 11:50: Message edited by: Meg the Red ]
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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Tears are welling in my eyes too, so sorry. And yet, it's a privilege that we see their lives through to the end. As others have said, there may come a time when you know that it's right to go the vet's, but equally the day may come when she dies without any intervention as you stroke her and speak soothingly to her.
May the time for her release be peaceful.
Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on
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I have had to do it twice. My two other dogs lived long lives but died suddenly.
With Boogie (my collie/manchester terrier cross who lived to age 19) I had the vet come to us and Boogie fell asleep on his favourite cushion, he knew nothing about it.
Gavin (cavalier spaniel) was 15, we took him to the vet and he died in my arms. He fell asleep comfortably and also knew nothing, he was wagging and looking at me adoringly as his eyes closed.
I cried a river.
I made the decision with both when they could no longer go out and have a sniff around, however doddery. Their back legs packed in - so, in my view, they no longer had a 'life' and were being kept alive for me, not them. If you see what I mean.
for you - it's a truly heartbreaking situation.
Posted by Jane R (# 331) on
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Posted by Dormouse (# 5954) on
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For me the comfort in the grief is that for them they know nothing more than the fact they are going to sleep. It is just a comfortable drifting off. It is we who are sad.
Prayers for you
Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on
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They don't live long enough. They really don't.
Posted by Nenya (# 16427) on
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I am so sorry, Gareth. I haven't had a dog but I have had other pets and this is always heartbreaking.
Posted by St. Gwladys (# 14504) on
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With one of our cats, the vet simply said "you will know" - and we did - it became obvious she was in pain and had completely gone in on herself. She purred in the consulting room.
Posted by Poppy (# 2000) on
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We had senior cat put to sleep a couple of weeks ago as she had cancer in a number of her organs and lost a huge amount of weight very quickly. She just wanted to be with us all of the time so I'm assuming that she knew in her limited kitty way that something was wrong and needed to be with her surrogate parent/pack leader for comfort. I made the decision to take her to the vet when there was still a bit of spark in her rather than wait for her to collapse. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done.
She was the nicest cat I've ever owned and I miss her.
Posted by Zappa (# 8433) on
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You have been her whole of life, and while our chronological accidents mean our lives go on with a "friend shaped hole" her life will have been as complete a world of love as it could ever be. You have give her wholeness. The parting will hurt, but for her it will be one more embrace of the love you have shared.
And yes I have teared up. I've outlived three canine best friends no (and a fourth is growing old) and all the memories flood back. But their lives and mine have been better for the friendship.
Posted by Eigon (# 4917) on
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When she stops being happy, that'll be the time to make the decision.
I pushed my dog around in a trolley for nearly two years, but she was happy and she loved being up high where passers by could stroke her, and she could hobble around a little bit when I put her down (she had bad arthritis).
She'd wake me up in the middle of the night - "I need to go out now!" and I'd carry her downstairs and outside to do what she needed to do.
But the day came that her tail stopped wagging, and I made the appointment for the vet. For that last week, she lost all interest in anything, and just lay on the settee. It was obvious she wasn't going to improve, and taking her to the vet was absolutely the right decision to make.
She gave happiness to a lot of people - I was still being asked about her a year after she died - and I sometimes felt as if she was there to make people happy, and it was my job to look after her so she could do that!
Posted by piglet (# 11803) on
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I've never had a pet, but I love other people's dogs and feel sad when they pass away. Reading this thread makes me realise how hopeless I'd be if I did have one and he/she became so ill that I had to make that decision.
for you, and for your wee friend - when the time comes you'll be doing the right thing for her.
Posted by Autenrieth Road (# 10509) on
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Gareth and Spaniel
Posted by Gareth (# 2494) on
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quote:
Originally posted by St. Gwladys:
With one of our cats, the vet simply said "you will know" - and we did - it became obvious she was in pain and had completely gone in on herself. She purred in the consulting room.
We had a cat for 16 years, and her health declined very suddenly, over 24 hours. When I took her to the vet she was obviously in pain - but when I held her for the injection she started to purr. Even the vet cried - and wrote to me afterwards.
Posted by St Everild (# 3626) on
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If she is still eating, drinking and responding to you, the time is not yet.
When she stope doing these things and becomes withdrawn and disinterested and unresponsive, that is when you will have to allow her this last kindness.
It is so hard...
Posted by Rosalind (# 317) on
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I agree with the above. We decided that so long as our dogs weren't in pain, were enjoying a walk (even if a very short one) and enjoyed dinner, we would continue with whatever treatment helped them. One dog had to be taken to the vet, a heart wrenching decision but the right one, the other died at home in his sleep - I was up several times a night in the last few weeks checking he was comfortable.
Gareth, it's an awful time, but your dog knows she is loved, and that's important.
Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on
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When we had Gavin put to sleep the vet sent us a handwritten letter.
It said
"I just wanted to let you know that our sympathies are with you following the loss of dear little Gavin yesterday. I know how miserable it is to let such a good old friend go - but I remain convinced that it was the right decision and made at the right time. I hope the enclosed poem offers some comfort"
(He enclosed the poem 'If it should be ...' )
What a lovely vet.
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