Ship of Fools: Unexpected Compensations of Ageing

Thread: Unexpected Compensations of Ageing Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

To visit this thread, use this URL:
http://forum.ship-of-fools.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=70;t=027612

Posted by M. (# 3291) on :

As a (very) fully paid up member of the Middle Aged, * am discovering a delightful ability to tell off random strangers in the street.

* thought of this earlier on, when * suggested to a young lad (about 15 or 16, * suppose, with a gaggle of friends around him) that he should really pick up that pop bottle he'd just dropped. Apparently, it wasn't his fault, but he acquiesced. * don't know whether he dropped it around the corner or not, but at least his friends were vocal in their support of me, which was nice.

Anyway, it made me remember that a few days ago, * 'd told off a trainer and the person she was training in St James's Park. They were doing step ups onto a park bench and * told them they were being very unfair, as people had to sit there. They were older, and argued. But stopped, at least until * was out of sight.

* would never have done this a few years ago, * 'd have just looked daggers and tutted loudly. * think * 'm going to love being a grumpy old woman/interfering old biddy. * might get myself a stick to shake.

What other compensations of ageing have Shippies found?

M.

[ 21. September 2014, 08:06: Message edited by: Firenze ]

Posted by Chocoholic (# 4655) on :

Oh I am so becoming at Grumpy Old Woman.

Being happy with a cup of tea and a good tv drama in the evenings.

Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :

I always ask for a senior discount at movie theaters (even though only some are for 55+, others are for 60+, or 62+; no one dares ID me). Sometimes sweet, young people take one look at my un-dyed, gray locks and just give me a discount. I save on hair-dye, too. [Two face]

Posted by Adeodatus (# 4992) on :

Slippers. If you have any vestige of youth, people roll their eyes and use things like "fogey" if you wear slippers. But when by common consensus you're well into middle age, nobody minds. It even becomes expected.

Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :

I have finally gone bald enough to buzz cut my hair. No more brushes and worries about it not looking right.

Also my usual patronising attitude seems to be accepted more as I get older.

I seem to have more money because I spend less on stupid shit (which is "bad for me" supposedly) , which is nice too.

I am less scared which may be greater faith or early onset confusedness.

Posted by Horseman Bree (# 5290) on :

A wee bit past Middle Age myself, but still, it is nice that a lot of stuff (liturgical details, meetings, dressing "up" for things...) simply matter less than they did (if they matter at all)

Oh, and, yes, the crusty old fogey look can still intimidate many.

Posted by Brenda Clough (# 18061) on :

I no longer wear tight jeans. Now I can wear pants that have stretch woven in.

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :

(My wife still wears tight jeans, but then she's younger than me and losing weight.)

I no longer desire to have the fastest car in the neighbourhood: I am satisfied with an unturbocharged Ford Focus, though it is a manual which keeps it fun.

I think white hair makes my pupils respect me more than they did when I was younger. They like my stories. Pupils from other classes stop running when I tell them to slow down on the pavement.

Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :

Apparently wearing shirts and neckties that clash are my style now, and less subject to criticism. No more Mr. Beige Man. All that and cardigans. I can wear cardigans with allegedly unmatched shirts and floral print ties.

Posted by Stercus Tauri (# 16668) on :

No more ties. I went to a funeral the other day, and almost wore one, but recovered my senses just in time. I was not alone. I'm not planning to wear one to my own funeral, either.

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

Several years ago our local Shakespeare company did "Richard III." I met the actor who was to play the title role at a party and told him he was too cute for the part. I never could have said that had I not been old enough to be his mother.

(The director felt the same way and "uglied him up" for the part.)

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Stercus Tauri:
No more ties. I went to a funeral the other day...

Me neither! I did not wear a tie to either of my parents' burials though I got roped into wearing one briefly in the Irish choir we sing in a few years later; it won't happen again!

I have an excellent supply of golf shirts.

Posted by Ad Orientem (# 17574) on :

When does middle-age start? 30? 40? Or just when your midlife crisis starts? I've been in midlife crisis since thirty, which was nearly 9 years ago. Thankfully I haven't grown a ponytail, got an earring or bought a Harley Davidson yet. One thing I have noticed is that as I've got older I prefer a nice comfy pub to a loud nightclub, though I still occassionally go to the latter.

Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :

Watching the birds on the feeder, I remember my Mum loving doing this - now I am just the same. I could watch them all day.

I find I'm far more settled too since I was spayed about 5 years ago. I wish I'd been done 20 years earlier! [Big Grin]

Posted by Kitten (# 1179) on :

My main compensation for aging is my grandsons

Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
Slippers. If you have any vestige of youth, people roll their eyes and use things like "fogey" if you wear slippers. But when by common consensus you're well into middle age, nobody minds. It even becomes expected.

<tangent> Slippers aren’t only for old people round my way. In places where everyone lives in apartments, they’re a kindness to the downstairs neighbours. </tangent>

Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :

I still walk around barefoot. Or sock footed. (I haven't seen slippers I like for ages. Grecian leather ones.)

[ 04. September 2014, 09:08: Message edited by: Penny S ]

Posted by Jenny Ann (# 3131) on :

I'm 32 and the thing I like about getting older is that I care less. Everyone else is going out and I'm not? I don't care. It's 9pm and I want to go to bed with a book? I don't care. I know who I am now and whilst definitely not perfect, I'm alright at times!

I also tell youths off in the street for littering or being generally antisocial and at the train station if they're doing something stupid (I was particularly proud of the graphic talk I gave a couple of lads sat with their legs dangling over the train platform).

I think all this kicked in around the age of 30.

Jen

Posted by blackbeard (# 10848) on :

quote:
Originally posted by M.:
.....What other compensations of ageing have Shippies found?

M.

No idea. I will tell you when I get old.
Blackbeard, threescore and ten +1

Posted by quetzalcoatl (# 16740) on :

I'm 68 and I care thunderingly less about tons of things. It still catches me by surprise. I'm not interested in celebs, or politicians, or novels.

I find the newspapers incredibly boring.

Anyway, I could go on, but this is a great compensation.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

I've been doing Mad Old Bat for years - wear what you like, say what you like, dye your hair any colour, talk to strangers all the time, go to bed/get up when you feel like it, do what you please in between.

Posted by quetzalcoatl (# 16740) on :

Yes, I forgot talking to strangers. I am a loquacious old git; I talk to birds, cats and insects as well, and bloody hell, they talk back.

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

I definitely love getting older! Turning sixty eight months ago felt very liberating. However, I'm still younger than most of my choir members. I get called "Young'un" frequently!

The ability to speak up about things that bother me is a lovely and welcomed new ability.

Posted by leo (# 1458) on :

Free bus travel.

Not having to wear a suit to work every day.

rarely having to use an alarm clock.

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ad Orientem:
When does middle-age start? 30? 40? Or just when your midlife crisis starts? I've been in midlife crisis since thirty, which was nearly 9 years ago. Thankfully I haven't grown a ponytail, got an earring or bought a Harley Davidson yet. One thing I have noticed is that as I've got older I prefer a nice comfy pub to a loud nightclub, though I still occassionally go to the latter.

It hit me when I watched my son get married. I was 47, which must count as arrested development.

I went through the ponytail'n'Harley phase in my early thirties but did nothing about either, hence I'm still here.

Posted by quetzalcoatl (# 16740) on :

Not being afraid of death.

Posted by daisydaisy (# 12167) on :

People offering me a seat on the tube.... and being thankful.

Posted by itsarumdo (# 18174) on :

Growing Old Disgracefully

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

I retired at 48 and have gradually been getting ever since. I spent a lot of my life pre-retirement campaigning for this or for that - all important stuff but I don't do it any more and I don't feel guilty at all. I still hold views but I'm not staffing the barricades any more. It's brilliant.

I no longer give a toss about other's opinions of me, I know who I am and most of the time I quite like myself. Funnily enough more people seem to like me more now as well.

Posted by Jade Constable (# 17175) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Adeodatus:
Slippers. If you have any vestige of youth, people roll their eyes and use things like "fogey" if you wear slippers. But when by common consensus you're well into middle age, nobody minds. It even becomes expected.

Maybe this is more a middle-aged man thing? Women's clothing shops are full of slippers, especially in winter. All young women I know, including myself, wear slippers.

I'm 25 and happily tell people off in public.

Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :

quote:
Originally posted by quetzalcoatl:
Yes, I forgot talking to strangers. I am a loquacious old git; I talk to birds, cats and insects as well, and bloody hell, they talk back.

So am I. Loquacious. I've not talked to insects however, except profanely. They don't talk back because I kills 'em slap.

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ad Orientem:
One thing I have noticed is that as I've got older I prefer a nice comfy pub to a loud nightclub, though I still occassionally go to the latter.

I am much the same: most nightclubs seem to cater to undergraduates who drink vodka or beer-flavoured water!

We have two good pubs walking distance from the house. One has music four nights a week. Sometimes it's rock and roll.

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Jenny Ann:
I'm 32 and the thing I like about getting older is that I care less. Everyone else is going out and I'm not? I don't care. It's 9pm and I want to go to bed with a book? I don't care. I know who I am now and whilst definitely not perfect, I'm alright at times!

I think all this kicked in around the age of 30.

Jen

That is why the partying travel agent was Club 18 30.

After that you are ancient.

(I'm double ancient.)

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

I look so good in Purple.

Posted by Carex (# 9643) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
I look so good in Purple.

And a mitre?

Posted by Rowen (# 1194) on :

Naps. Naps are great.
Not needing to go out on weekend nights. Also good.
Oh, and naps.

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

For those of us women of a certain age, I doubt any of us misses the monthly hassle that no longer plagues us.

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
For those of us women of a certain age, I doubt any of us misses the monthly hassle that no longer plagues us.

Amen and amen!

Now, if I could just be done with the personal summers. [Hot and Hormonal]

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

One from last year when my [thank Heavens] ex-boss tried to befriend me on Facebook - honesty can be great fun!

Posted by Erik (# 11406) on :

As I enter my 30s I am finding a growing appreciation of folk music.

I will also adimt to talking to animals. Cats, passing birds, whatever. The other day I caught myself telling a spider it was beautiful. But I draw the line at strangers. You have to be careful, they might just respond and before you know your having a conversation <shudders>.

Posted by Moo (# 107) on :

I talk to my car sometimes to encourage it.

Moo

Posted by quetzalcoatl (# 16740) on :

I was thinking about not caring, and a better phrase is letting go. I have let go of so many things, a list would be tedious. But I also don't care.

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Moo:
I talk to my car sometimes to encourage it.

Moo

I talk to my car to change radio stations or put the opera on, but then it's a new Ford Focus with Sync.

I got a free lunch yesterday at the senior center. It was quite good!

Posted by Ad Orientem (# 17574) on :

What about talking to yourself? I do that all the time and quite often refer to myself in the process as "we": "So, what are we going to do today then?"

Or maybe I'm just nuts.

As for talking to objects to encourage them, I do that too. If they don't work then they get profanities thrown at them and threats of smashing them to pieces as if that would somehow help, which it hasn't.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

One shouldn't anthropomorphise objects. They don't like it.

Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on :

I've started talking to gravestones while working in deserted churchyards . Might be an aging thing or maybe just a remaining sane mechanism.

Posted by Thyme (# 12360) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
For those of us women of a certain age, I doubt any of us misses the monthly hassle that no longer plagues us.

Oh yes!

It is so wonderful being able to plan and do anything I like whenever I like without a second thought.

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ad Orientem:
What about talking to yourself? I do that all the time and quite often refer to myself in the process as "we": "So, what are we going to do today then?"

That's one of the many advantages of having a dog. I can discuss things with her, which seems so much more sensible than talking to myself. [Smile]

Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
For those of us women of a certain age, I doubt any of us misses the monthly hassle that no longer plagues us.

Oh yes!

I was spayed five years ago - I wish I'd had it done twenty years ago. 1000 time better without the plumbing!

Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
For those of us women of a certain age, I doubt any of us misses the monthly hassle that no longer plagues us.

A whole chunk of the supermarket that I can miss out! And it's like being in my early teens again!

Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:

quote:
Originally posted by Ad Orientem:
What about talking to yourself? I do that all the time and quite often refer to myself in the process as "we": "So, what are we going to do today then?"
That's one of the many advantages of having a dog. I can discuss things with her, which seems so much more sensible than talking to myself.

I find that blaming my cat for misplacing my "stuff" works wonderfully. Within moments of my looking at him sternly and announcing, "Where is my _____? I know you hid it. You're just that kind of cat", the item appears. It's magic! [Biased]

Posted by Brenda Clough (# 18061) on :

Oh, I blame my cats for everything. Now that the children have moved out, it is very convenient.

Posted by The Phantom Flan Flinger (# 8891) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Rowen:

Not needing to go out on weekend nights.

I can't recall ever needing to go out on weekend nights.

I sometimes went out at the weekend, but didn't feel that I was missing anything if I didn't.

Posted by Graven Image (# 8755) on :

I am on the downhill side of 70 and I find it a joy to just not care. You don't like something I said, I don't care, the blouse is not the best color for my skin, I don't care, One should not eat ice cream for breakfast, I don't care. And the wonderful list goes on and on. [Biased]

Posted by Chocoholic (# 4655) on :

And you can post twice [Big Grin]

Posted by quetzalcoatl (# 16740) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Graven Image:
I am on the downhill side of 70 and I find it a joy to just not care. You don't like something I said, I don't care, the blouse is not the best color for my skin, I don't care, One should not eat ice cream for breakfast, I don't care. And the wonderful list goes on and on.

Absolutely agree. But I don't care whether I agree with you or not.

Posted by Thyme (# 12360) on :

I love the feeling of being released from having to do anything or feel responsible for anything.

Hot political issues? Saving whales? Wind Farms v Fracking or returning to a pre-electric age?

There is nothing much I can do, and no-one is interested in my opinions.

I can leave it to the youngsters to worry about and exhaust themselves over.

And it is so wonderful not to have to worry about a career or finding or keeping a job, or paying a mortgage.

Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :

Being able to lie in like a teenager. Or get up early and throw on trousers and a jacket over my nightwear and do gardening before breakfast. (Cleared a load of Creeping Jenny and planted bulbs and primroses today.)

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

I just watched the trailer for "My Old Lady," which opens tomorrow -- two of my very favorites, Maggie Smith AND Kevin Kline. [Yipee]

Anyway, at about 1:00 Maggie declares, "I'm 90. Subtlety is not something that interests me." I love it!

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Giving up the unavailing attempt to be perfectly turned out, slim, with thick hair...

So much easier just to be me.

Posted by Tukai (# 12960) on :

as several other men on this thread have said with equal pleasure, I have not worn a tie since I retired from a job where that was required. Spending most of my time since then in the tropics meant that as a bonus, I could wear shorts and sandals instead.

Now "retired" for the second time ("for how long? asks my wife, now herself also retired) and savouring also

> being a grandparent - lots of love shared but almost no responsibility (since I can hand the kids back!)
> being able to do things on the day of the week and the time of day that best suits me.
> if some task gets delayed by a few days: who cares?

Posted by Brenda Clough (# 18061) on :

Someone's done a graph, of happiness over a lifetime. It appears that there is a peak around nine years old, when you have achieved more or less most of the skills you need to function at a child level. The onset of puberty heads the graph downhill. Marriage and (crucially) the arrival of children actually makes the happiness line go down even more, and things apparently bottom out in the late 40s. But then after that things start turning up. (The kids leave! So cheering!) Fifty and sixty-year-olds are as happy as nine-year-olds, until old-old age and its debilities start to erode contentment once again.

Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :

I'd like to see the graph, if you know where it is from.

Posted by Brenda Clough (# 18061) on :

I threw the phrase "happiness graph over lifetime" into google and many images kicked up. Also this: http://economics.com.au/?p=9239

And this: http://www.economist.com/node/17722567
And this: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2990956/

Posted by Miffy (# 1438) on :

No hassle when you walk past building sites.

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

There's always something to talk about, because you forget the conversations from 30 minutes ago!

Posted by FooloftheShip (# 15579) on :

Oh my bleeding eyes! * pop in to find out what * have to look forward to, only to find the thread infested with Comic sans. Truly a cruel jape by our lovely H&As

[Help]

Posted by Galloping Granny (# 13814) on :

Faced with a gorgeous young physiotherapist * can imagine he's my grandson.

GG

Posted by Bernard Mahler (# 10852) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Galloping Granny:
Faced with a gorgeous young physiotherapist * can imagine he's my grandson.

GG

Granny, how did you know I was, or had been, a physiotherapist? And I'm only 81!

Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :

Having a nephew. He is the sole grandchild of my late parents and is now in his early twenties. We had a long talk on the phone tonight about computers as I've just connected to broadband. He gave me some useful technical info then proceeded to tell me what a dangerous place the internet could be. I felt like a teenager being given advice by mum before going into the city alone for the first time. It was weird, but sweet.

Huia

Posted by Fineline (# 12143) on :

As you get older, people stop thinking you're weird for not liking clubbing or partying. Preferring to stay home is no longer 'sad' or boring - lots of people prefer it as they get older!

Also, as someone who has never wanted to have children, people have stopped bugging me about it and trying to pursuade me that I'm wrong or that I'll regret it, now I'm older.

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Fineline:
Also, as someone who has never wanted to have children, people have stopped bugging me about it and trying to pursuade me that I'm wrong or that I'll regret it, now I'm older.

Exactly!

Posted by Dog Dad (# 18238) on :

I can dress as warmly and unfashionably as I want. Being shaved bald, I can wear a hat and never have to think about what my hair looks like afterward. I can avoid situations that I've already experienced.

Another Comp is getting to talk to my parents on equal footing...I truly get to appreciate them as people with wants and needs and private thoughts and I am enjoying them immensely.

Routine. I love routine. I love the satisfied sigh my body makes as it eases into the recliner after work.

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :

I can address younger women under 40 as girls because of my white hair!

Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
I can address younger women under 40 as girls because of my white hair!

Only if you want to appear patronizing.

UBB.classic^TM 6.5.0