• Rab C Nesbitt
• deep-fried Mars bars
• Irn Bru
• Bay City Rollers
• Lulu

All good reasons to blame the S***s!
 

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
Freaking PORRIDGE The world's only truly grey food, almost tasteless, miserable, quivering lump of glutinous gunk shuddering before a spoon is even forced into it. Or else it looks like grey vomit.

This hideous stuff, exported throughout the world, is barely palatable with salt, whiskey, honey, currants, chillies, dried f*** or a fried egg clapped a-top, and if you have to do that to be able to force it down, it doesn't say much for the starting product.

We need to get some extra powerful catapults or trebuchets for the legions based at Hadrian's Wall* who can then be usefully employed hurling bolts of the stuff back across the border until it's all gone.

* Can't remember which legion is currently stationed there, can anyone remind me? Ta.
 

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
As this is now a crossover of Hell and All Saints, perhaps we need a Porridge Survivors Thread where we can sound off about our experiences.
 

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Posted by Adeodatus (# 4992) on :
 
Can't believe nobody's mentioned bagpipes yet. The only allegedly "musical" instrument that's not only not in tune with other instruments, it isn't even in tune with itself.

And tartan. The fabric equivalent of bagpipes. Fundamentally out of tune with anything else you might possibly consider wearing.
 

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Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
Agree about PORRIDGE. Maybe the ****s will deploy PORRIDGE-filled missiles as their own deterrent when Trident goes. It deters me.

The stuff is basically horse food and even the Ir*** know that.
 

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Posted by lily pad (# 11456) on :
 
Kilts! Stupid school uniform kilts which left my knees with frostbite whenever * sunk deep into the snowbanks on the way to the school bus in high school.
 

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Posted by Martin PC not & Ship's Biohazard (# 368) on :
 
* do.
 

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Posted by Evensong (# 14696) on :
 
* blame them for awesomeness.
 

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Posted by Tubbs (# 440) on :
 
Irn-Bru.

Tubbs
 

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Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on :
 
Mmmm, IRN-BRU. Not sure if "blame" is the word * 'm looking for. Who knew radioactive, toxic, carcinogenic sludge could be so delicious?
 

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Posted by Tubbs (# 440) on :
 

quote:

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Crap spouted by Ariston:
Mmmm, IRN-BRU. Not sure if "blame" is the word * 'm looking for. Who knew radioactive, toxic, carcinogenic sludge could be so delicious?

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quote:

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Freaking PORRIDGE ... The world's only truly grey food...

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If your porridge is grey, you're doing it wrong. Mine is beige.

Hey, * was going to say Michael Gove! Can we have him twice?
 

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Posted by Twilight (# 2832) on :
 
Ach! Some of you sissies haven't spent enough time in orphanages or out on highland walks through the brisk morning rain. If you did you would appreciate that Porridge as a lovely warm, satisfying food that only needs a drop of milk or a wee pinch of brown sugar to be quite tasty and comforting. Please, sir?
 

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Posted by Zappa (# 8433) on :
 
Brown sugar fucks with the Baby™s tear ducts. It must be Demerara.
 

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Posted by Twilight (# 2832) on :
 
What on earth is that? Something in the Marmite family? Perhaps a brown liquid from a dusty bottle that's been on the table for years? Or is it that purple stuff you see in baby's bottles that rots their teeth before they've actually come in? * 'm almost afraid to ask.
 

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Posted by St. Punk the Pious (# 683) on :
 
I blame the Scots for making The Queen purr.
 

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Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
I blame the British PM for his peculiar choice of verb!
 

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Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
I doubt HMtQ is purring over Dave's revelation of her reaction. She's very careful about who gets to know exactly what she has said on any particular issue.

A brief, cool interview without tea and coffee may take place.
 

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Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
Mr Cameron may yet be appearing with some very deep scratch marks.
 

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Posted by doubtingthomas (# 14498) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
The midgies!

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quote:

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Originally posted by The Phantom Flan Flinger:
All right, but apart from golf, Tony Blair, Gordon Brown, midges, Irn Bru, deep fried Mars Bars, Lulu, porridge and BAGPIPES, what have the Scots ever done for us?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Twilight:
What on earth is that? Something in the Marmite family? Perhaps a brown liquid from a dusty bottle that's been on the table for years? Or is it that purple stuff you see in baby's bottles that rots their teeth before they've actually come in? * 'm almost afraid to ask.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Firenze:
... Kenneth McKellar ....

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quote:

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Originally posted by North East Quine:

quote:

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Originally posted by Firenze:
... Kenneth McKellar ....

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What's not to like?

(nsfw)

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quote:

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Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
This thread is starting to read like a Brae version of " we didn't start the fire."

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quote:

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Originally posted by lily pad:
Kilts! Stupid school uniform kilts which left my knees with frostbite whenever * sunk deep into the snowbanks on the way to the school bus in high school.

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