Thread: 2014, a Ship year in preview Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.


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Posted by Alban (# 9047) on :
 
Sometimes it's not hard to see what's coming, even here on the ship. Let's see what's coming for the year ahead, with a thread title and a summary of the contents.

Calling Comet to Hell
Somewhere around July, A newish shipmate will call Comet downstairs to complain about her calling them naughty, unchristian words when sending the dead horse topic they created off to where it belongs. The carnage will be enjoyed by all and talked about for years.

So, what else do you see coming?
 
Posted by Herrick (# 15226) on :
 
Somebody finding Martin PC difficult to understand.
 
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on :
 
Gentle Injunction:
I would like to remind everyone that this is the Circus, not Hell; as such, all Commandments and board guidelines, including those dealing with personal attacks and insults, are in effect. Keep it fun, keep it funny, or take it to Hell.
—Ariston, Circus Host
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
Hell will be closed

By Order.
 
Posted by St. Gwladys (# 14504) on :
 
The Hosts and Admins - God bless 'em - will cause complete and utter havoc on or around April Fool's Day by altering thread titles/locations thus causing much weeping and gnashing of teeth by all Shippies.
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
We're there now. Is that all there is?

[Snore]
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
The term wankbadger, devised by Jade Constable, will be picked up by some British comedian such as Bill Bailey or Harry Hill.

ETA: That'll be a challenge to those looking after "The Ship in the Media"!

[ 06. January 2014, 07:54: Message edited by: Sioni Sais ]
 
Posted by Spike (# 36) on :
 
Somebody will join the Ship and shortly afterwards start a thread in The Styx complaining about swearing on a Christian website
 
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on :
 
Several people will get into such a vicious and violent theological argument with each other that most of the rest of us will want to toss 'em overboard, and hold hands while singing "Imagine".
[Biased]

And some people will be in such joyous accord that they'll make everyone else sick of sappiness.
[Biased]

It'll balance out. [Big Grin]
 
Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Someone will link to the last time someone started a thread like this. (It always happens, so no reason not to suppose it will happen in 2014.)
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Spike:
Somebody will join the Ship and shortly afterwards start a thread in The Styx complaining about swearing on a Christian website
Well, then we'll be in a world of shite!
 
Posted by leo (# 1458) on :
 
Someone will tell us that their supermarket is, already, stocking hot cross buns and Easter biscuits and it isn't even Lent yet.

Oh, I just did.
 
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on :
 
In March, somebody will start a post in Styx suggesting that Dead Horses be renamed.

In May, somebody will start a post in Styx suggesting that Dead Horses be renamed.

In October, somebody will start a post in Styx suggesting that Dead Horses be renamed.

Remarkably, ever one of these OPs will be written as if the poster was the first person to ever think of the idea.
 
Posted by Barnabas62 (# 9110) on :
 
Nooooooooo!!! Lord have mercy!!!
 
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by St. Gwladys:
The Hosts and Admins - God bless 'em - will cause complete and utter havoc on or around April Fool's Day by altering thread titles/locations thus causing much weeping and gnashing of teeth by all Shippies.
Let's face it, we are never going to top last time, when it coincided with a Pope's resignation.
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
January 25th 2014

A Styx thread is started complaining about the software. The Admins point out that they are well aware of the need for an upgrade, and are looking at options.

February 1st 2014

A Styx thread is started complaining about the software. Spike rolls his eyes in exasperation.

February 23rd 2014

A Styx thread is started complaining about the software. Marvin starts drinking.

March 8th 2014

A Styx thread is started complaining about the software. Kelly punches a puppy.

April 29th 2014

A Styx thread is started complaining about the software. Tubbs punches through a wall.

May 18th 2014

A Styx thread is started complaining about the software. RooK bites through a steel girder.

June 1st 2014

A Styx thread is started complaining about the software. Alan Cresswell utters a mild obscenity.

July 12th 2014

After a week-long break during which the Ship is offline, the long-awaited software upgrade is finally revealed. The new boards are faster and more resilient, the new fully-integrated Cafe is a marvel of user friendliness, and the search function actually works even for Oblivion.

July 13th 2014

Six different Shipmates start threads in Styx complaining about how crap the new software is and how much better the old system was.

July 14th 2014

The Admins, in a fit of exasperation brought on by having to deal with all the bloody moaning, resign en masse. The six complainers step into the vacant Admin roles.

July 21st 2014

The new Admins finally realise what they've let themselves in for. Two delete their own profiles just to escape, one is sectioned by his concerned family after ten straight hours of rocking back and forth in a chair mumbling about trollpuppets, and one features on the late-night news having attempted to destroy the internet itself by bombing AOL's corporate headquarters. The remaining two resolve to track down their predecessors in an attempt to get them to take over again.

September 30th 2014

The only former Admin not yet located, RooK, is found in an armoured bunker just north of Barquisimento, Venezuala. On being visited by a delegation seeking to get him to return to the Admin role he expresses a mild unwillingness to do so. There are no survivors.

November 9th 2014

After being visited by a second - more cautious - delegation, RooK admits that he was just kidding about the whole "not wanting to return" thing and says he'd be delighted to come back. There are no survivors.

November 20th 2014

The original Admins make their triumphant return to the Ship. Over the next few weeks they painstakingly work to repair the damage caused by the four months of misrule.

December 16th 2014

The boards are back to normal.

December 17th 2014

A Styx thread is started complaining about the software. There are no survivors.
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
[Overused] Bravo, my friend!
 
Posted by comet (# 10353) on :
 
Marvin, I want you to have my babies.

that was beautiful, man.
 
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by comet:
Marvin, I want you to have my babies.
Hey, let's leave something for the 2015 thread to talk about
[Biased]
 
Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :
 
quote:
November 9th 2014

After being visited by a second - more cautious - delegation, RooK admits that he was just kidding about the whole "not wanting to return" thing and says he'd be delighted to come back. There are no survivors.
Somewhere in there should be the Sentence : "But this time no more Mr. Nice Guy."
 
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
Welease Woderwick will take a year's holiday from the Ship so you lot can catch up with him as WW's post count goes up into the stratosphere. I can welcome new members also, you know and I am still working...
 
Posted by Patdys (# 9397) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
Someone will link to the last time someone started a thread like this. (It always happens, so no reason not to suppose it will happen in 2014.)
 
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Patdys:
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
Someone will link to the last time someone started a thread like this. (It always happens, so no reason not to suppose it will happen in 2014.)
You're never gonna give that up, never gonna let me down, are ya?
 
Posted by Patdys (# 9397) on :
 
'You know the rules and so do I.'
 
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ariston:
quote:
Originally posted by Patdys:
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
Someone will link to the last time someone started a thread like this. (It always happens, so no reason not to suppose it will happen in 2014.)
You're never gonna give that up, never gonna let me down, are ya?
No.
 
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on :
 
The worst part about all this is that I can see the URLs, I know what I'm clicking on, but I have to click the links. I hate all of you.
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ariston:
The worst part about all this is that I can see the URLs, I know what I'm clicking on, but I have to click the links. I hate all of you.
Consider yourself lucky. There are those who post a huge string with separate links for every damned word.

So to what remains of 2014. Someone will get shore leave for excessive links.
 
Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on :
 
April 2014: a new visitor discovers the Celebrity Death Pool and complains about it in the Styx.
 
Posted by pimple (# 10635) on :
 
September: Comet will have Marvin's babies.
November: Marvin will ask for them back.
 
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
July: RooK, RuthW, Kelly, Marvin and just about everyone who has been a Hellhost past or present will jointly and severally declare the redundancy of TICTH on the grounds that no one knows what it's for nowadays. The GIN bottles will lie knee-deep in the Hosts' lounge.

No compensation will be offered or paid to anyone, for any reason.
 
Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on :
 
Someone will start a thread asking about the Freemasons.

This thread will come to include...

-a few reminiscenses about some nice old clergymen who were Masons, so therefore "I don't see how anyone can say it's not Christian."

-someone's recollection of talking to an older male relative who once participated in and/or witnessed a Masonic ritual, and how he thought "it all seemed very sinister."

-funny anecdotes about crazy preachers in Smalltown Wherever who think Masonry is a tool of the devil.

-disgruntled anecdotes about some local asshat who always had Masonic bumper stickers on his car and never got a parking ticket.

Bonus points if someone quotes the song from the Simpsons.
 
Posted by pimple (# 10635) on :
 
August: I shall finally grasp the nettle, bite the bullet and take the plunge.
September: Out of hospital, I shall post the gospel according to pimple. There will be three replies. I shall be called to Hell by newbie R****** D******
 
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on :
 
Progress report required wankbadgers
 
Posted by Patdys (# 9397) on :
 
Shit, * clicked on my own link as * read through. * will spend the rest of the year in the corner, quietly sobbing.
This would never happen with decent software.
 
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on :
 
Clearly the Ship's business needs more attention. Wankbadgers awaaay !!!

DT
Circstyx Host
 
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
Booiing!

Firenze
Thingie Whatever Host
 


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