Ship of Fools: The quick brown Lord's prayer loves my big sphinx of quartz

Thread: The quick brown Lord's prayer loves my big sphinx of quartz Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Eutychus (# 3081) on :

Over on the Purgatory thread debating the appropriateness of running the Lord's prayer as a cinema ad, a much more serious issue has emerged: having cinema ads suitable for winning the game of "let's see who can spot all the letters of the alphabet".

In view of this, the lack of Qs, Xs and Zs in particular in the Lord's Prayer has been bemoaned.

Your suggestions for alphabet-completeness-friendly alterations to the Lord's Prayer are hereby invited.

I would like to introduce an X by adjusting a late-on line: "lead us not into taxation".

Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Eutychus:
"lead us not into taxation".

I think the American right already do pray that.

To which I must add: "Forgive us our xenophobia, as we forgive those who are xenophobic against us."
[Two face]

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

Thy Queendom come.

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

Lead us not into hazards.

Now we need the missing J.

Posted by Eutychus (# 3081) on :

quote:
Originally posted by balaam:
Lead us not into hazards.

Now we need the missing J.

You have done away with my X!

Posted by ElaineC (# 12244) on :

Give us this day our daily bread and jam.

Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :

"Our Father in Heaven, we just want to say Hallowed be thy name".

Posted by Eutychus (# 3081) on :

[Killing me]

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

It does not add any letters, but...

...lead us not into advertising seems apt.

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

Give us our daily smørrebrød.

(Just making sure we're being inclusive in our alphabet.)

Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on :

I was reminded of this version which I think will appeal to Baptist Trainfan:

Our father who art in Hendon
Harrow Road be thy name
Thy Kingston come, thy Wimbledon
In Erith and it is Hendon
Give us this day our Berkhamsted
And forgive us our Westminsters
As we forgive those who Westminster against us
Lead us not into Temple Station
But deliver us from Ealing
For thine is the Kingston
The Purley and the Crawley
For Iver and Iver
Crouch End

Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :

Westminster may be beyond redemption and forgiveness

Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
Westminster may be beyond redemption and forgiveness

I'll give you two guesses as to where I work (and am sat at the moment)....

Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sipech:

quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
Westminster may be beyond redemption and forgiveness
I'll give you two guesses as to where I work (and am sat at the moment)....

1. The boudoir of the Whore of Babylon

2. The stables of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

How'd I do?

Posted by mr cheesy (# 3330) on :

There should clearly be a special stanza on the end.

Oh Lord, we pray for the unfortunately named, including all called Ungainix, Venelux, Xzy and Zandu. Give them rest and their parents an ounce of sense.

Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on :

We always said "Howard be thy name", which clarified Jesus H. Christ. We also wondered ahout "Our Father Witch" and his art in Heaven. What's he painting anyway?

Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on :

quote:
Originally posted by no prophet's flag is set so...:
We always said "Howard be thy name", which clarified Jesus H. Christ. We also wondered ahout "Our Father Witch" and his art in Heaven. What's he painting anyway?

So much more polite than 8-year-old me's blasphemy of "who farts in heaven".

Posted by mr cheesy (# 3330) on :

I have a long-running debate with my wife about a line in God Rest You Merry, Gentlemen.

Other than being totally over-used, one of the verses says:

"The which his mother Mary
Nothing did take in scorn."

Which is either a) bad English or b) calling Mary a witch.

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :

... actually its
The which His mother Mary
Did nothing take in scorn:
O tidings ...

Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sipech:
I was reminded of this version which I think will appeal to Baptist Trainfan:

Our father who art in Hendon
Harrow Road be thy name
Thy Kingston come, thy Wimbledon
In Erith and it is Hendon
Give us this day our Berkhamsted
And forgive us our Westminsters
As we forgive those who Westminster against us
Lead us not into Temple Station
But deliver us from Ealing
For thine is the Kingston
The Purley and the Crawley
For Iver and Iver
Crouch End

The great Ian Dury, I believe. And
here he is performing it.

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

(Does this thread's title miss an f and a j? [Razz]

)

Posted by mr cheesy (# 3330) on :

quote:
Originally posted by L'organist:
... actually its
The which His mother Mary
Did nothing take in scorn:
O tidings ...

Are you commenting on my punctuation? If so.. well, y'know..

Posted by Eutychus (# 3081) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Albertus:
The great Ian Dury, I believe. And
here he is performing it.

I have to admit that version was being sung in our household as I composed the OP.

If we accept "Queendom" we have lost a "K".

[ETA and if we accept "hazards" we have lost an X unless we accept Mr Cheesy's extra line, which seems a bit like cheating to me]

[ 24. November 2015, 15:47: Message edited by: Eutychus ]

Posted by mr cheesy (# 3330) on :

OK, here is an effort to do it without adding extra clauses or words that make no sense:

Our Father in heaven,
Your name be exalted!
Let your kingdom come, let your justice rein,
On earth as in heaven.

Equip us today the food we need.
Please overt your gaze from the sins we have committed as we try to forget the hurts others have done to us.

And please don't test us.

Posted by leo (# 1458) on :

quote:
Originally posted by L'organist:
... actually its
The which His mother Mary
Did nothing take in scorn:
O tidings ...

have never heard that line/verse

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

quote:
mr cheesy: OK, here is an effort to do it without adding extra clauses or words that make no sense:

Our Father in heaven,
Your name be exalted!
Let your kingdom come, let your justice rein,
On earth as in heaven.

Equip us today the food we need.
Please overt your gaze from the sins we have committed as we try to forget the hurts others have done to us.

And please don't test us.

This one has no b?

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

Sorry, overlooked it. It does have a B.

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

Mr cheesy: [Overused]

Posted by Aravis (# 13824) on :

Pedant alert: it should be "avert" and "reign"...

Very impressed though [Overused]

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Tangentially, we see the same construction in John Pearson (1676), "and to all the flock over the which the Holy Ghost hath made you overſeers."

From an article in the National Review: Even stranger is the moment when we’re told that the newborn babe was laid within a manger — the which his Mother Mary / did nothing take in scorn. You’d think that would create some which–witch confusion for modern singers, but not even children hesitate at the line. English doesn’t use the which as a construction much anymore. Still, when carolers sing it out, the phrase seems to come from the authentic heart of the language. It feels right, somehow. It feels old.

Not "much anymore?" I knew the National Review had antiquated attitudes. I didn't realize they sometimes used antiquated grammar.

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