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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: The strongest oath she used was " Saint Eloy!"
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
With apologies to Chaucer.
This seems like a strange topic for Heaven, but I'm sure a host will move it if appropriate.
I'm inspired by the discussion on the Middle Class Values thread of "swear words" that people use.
I'm reminded of one night on the bus, when I had rung the bell for my stop well in advance, but the driver drove right by without stopping. Why? So he could stop to let a little old lady off directly in front of her house, which was not a marked stop. Admirable, unarguably, but no excuse for not stopping for me.
When I protested, the little old lady spat at me, "Go to hell!" I'm sure it was the strongest oath she had ever uttered -- perhaps the only one she knew.
What oaths have been used on you?
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
I think we've all been told to "**** off" or "go to hell" at some point, so let's not go there, as that would be dull and unoriginal. If this thread could focus on creative expressions that people have been on the receiving end of (preferably printable) that might be quite entertaining.
"Go forth and multiply" is one I've heard someone use. "Go and take a long walk off a very short pier" is another.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Darllenwr
Shipmate
# 14520
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Posted
Does "excrement occurs" fit into this definition?
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If I've told you once, I've told you a million times: I do not exaggerate!
Posts: 1101 | From: The catbox | Registered: Jan 2009
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Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564
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Posted
We had a kiddies' Christmas pageant at our church the other day. Something surprising happened, at which point the sweet little old lady sitting behind me exclaimed "Oh my God!" rather loudly, then realized what she had said in Church, turned bright red and clapped her hands over her mouth, babbling apologetically.
Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013
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Trudy Scrumptious
BBE Shieldmaiden
# 5647
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Posted
My fifteen-year-old daughter refuses to swear even now that the kids have reached the age where we've accepted that under extreme circumstances they will sometimes hear us swear and we'll hear them swear. She is the queen of the creative made-up fake swear words. She also hates getting needles, and I thought the lab tech was going to crack up laughing recently when my daughter had to get quite a bit of blood drawn for tests. From the look his face he had not previously been exposed to someone saying, "Fudgebiscuits!! Fringe benefits!! CHICKEN IN A BASKET!!!" through gritted teeth. She's got a whole arsenal of them.
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Books and things.
I lied. There are no things. Just books.
Posts: 7428 | From: Closer to Paris than I am to Vancouver | Registered: Mar 2004
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Curiosity killed ...
Ship's Mug
# 11770
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Posted
My father's language is so colourful that he's known as "Bollocks Bill". When irritated by someone he often wants their guts for garters.
Currently the team at work reckon it's easier to take the stapler, usually, but they'll also walk off with the hole punch, sellotape, scissors, etc from the admin office, rather than look in the staff room where I have carefully provided them with all they need. The next person to do it, I have warned them, I am going to staple their balls to the desk.
(I get incredibly frustrated when I'm trying to tidy the desk, usually late at night, and have to search the building for the stapler and/or hole punch.)
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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat
Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Trudy Scrumptious:
My fifteen-year-old daughter refuses to swear even now that the kids have reached the age where we've accepted that under extreme circumstances they will sometimes hear us swear and we'll hear them swear. She is the queen of the creative made-up fake swear words. She also hates getting needles, and I thought the lab tech was going to crack up laughing recently when my daughter had to get quite a bit of blood drawn for tests. From the look his face he had not previously been exposed to someone saying, "Fudgebiscuits!! Fringe benefits!! CHICKEN IN A BASKET!!!" through gritted teeth. She's got a whole arsenal of them.
Oh my God, I am stealing all of those. : notworthy:
I have to come up with replacement words when expressing my emotions in the classroom, and I tend to go all Yosemite Sam-- Dagnabbit, doggone it, what the Sam Hill, etc.
(Oh, I forgot Godfrey Daniels.)
When I am at my least inspired I squeak out, " oh, piffle." ![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif)
[ 19. December 2015, 18:16: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
My dad used to use "Blood and Fire" which I always thought was quite a good one. And no, he wasn't a salvationist. I suspect, out of our hearing, he may have used slightly stronger language, but that was never part of his usual vocabulary, despite his very working class background.
It is probably the fact that he worked for himself (and only 1 employee some of the time) that meant he never got exposed to the more common language usage.
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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
In a similar vein, my gran was a big fan of 'Hell's Bells...and buckets of blood'.
I'm a pretty enthusiastic swearer in vertain situations, but sometimes only a 'Chuffin Nora' will do.
The worst directed at me? "Get your tits out": once from a random teenager walking past me and once from a moving white van. ![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Curiosity killed ...:
The next person to do it, I have warned them, I am going to staple their balls to the desk.
And what if the miscreant is a woman?
(I do understand your frustration, as staplers, tape dispensers, rulers, scissors, etc. seem to party at night and not remember their way home in the morning.)
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
"Fracking" is a recent addition to my vocabulary. I feel it should be used more widely.
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
When I am at my least inspired I squeak out, " oh, piffle."
For me it's "oh bother" though normally I'm somewhat more forthright.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
There are times when I derive a good deal of comfort from this (probably NSFW).
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My beard is a testament to my masculinity and virility, and demonstrates that I am a real man. Trouble is, bits of quiche sometimes get caught in it.
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505
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Posted
Heard a solid country woman declare "Sugar Honey Iced Tea!" the other day when confronted with a minor disaster. I am definitely lifting that one for future use....
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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.
Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
A friend's granddaughter - aged 8 or 9 - was told off for using a Rude Word to her teacher. Her response: 'I felt it was appropriate'.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
My dad, who even on a good day had what could be called a sour, world-weary disposition, would occassionally reply "God only knows, and he'll never tell", when asked a question to which he didn't know the answer.
I suppose that could be construed as blasphemous, since, at least the way he delivered the phrase, it contained a slight resentment that God withholds information from people.
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Personally I'm fond of the line from the cult classic film Freaks: "Holy jumping Christmas!"
I also like "Mother of God", which sounds better in German: "Gottesmutter!"
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Sparrow
Shipmate
# 2458
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Posted
I'm rather fond of "Bummocks!" which was a favourite of Sarah Kennedy who used to do the morning show on BBC Radio 2. Lovely conflation of two naughty words to mean absolutely nothing but still sounds sweary!
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For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life,nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Posts: 3149 | From: Bottom right hand corner of the UK | Registered: Mar 2002
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Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
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Posted
I have a friend (who used to be my supervisor back in Mevil Dewey's day) whose strongest expression, delivered in low or high tones was "OH SUGAR!
I am pleased to report that, in retirement, she has graduated to Oh Lordy.
A bunch of us were playing a word game once and she used the euphemism "frig" claiming it was short for refrigerator. In unaminity we disallowed it. Her partner took some delight in explaining the use of the word. She was mortified, lost her concentration, and the game too.
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Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
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Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668
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Posted
An expressive and very useful Québecois cuss usually comes out as tabarnac' (tabernacle), which is quite dreadful to the ears of a respectable French speaking Catholic, but seems harmless to the average Anglo. There are various ways to tone it down, like tabarnouche that is even more useful and well known to our children. The cultural differences can be funny, and it isn't shocking to hear in normal conversation of something that was messed up as being tout fucké, which probably doesn't need to be translated
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Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)
Posts: 905 | From: On the traditional lands of the Six Nations. | Registered: Sep 2011
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Gordon Bennett is a very useful chap in such circumstances.
There's a lady in our congregation who is probably the only person who still says "jumping Jehosophat!" - she's certainly the only person I've ever heard say it.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
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Posted
Quebecois slang is so useful. Tabernac! is one, as noted above, calice another. A knowledgeable Christian could compile a whole list of words dealing with the furnishings of a church. It's all in the tone of voice.
On a slightly tangential topic, my mother was once fed up with juvenile swearing or use of "bad words" She instituted a swear pot to which we had to contribute a penny if caught. It lasted a week, because we monitored her speech as well, and she was soon out of pennies. She kept her ill-gotten gains though. ![[Waterworks]](graemlins/bawling.gif)
[ 19. December 2015, 21:11: Message edited by: Uncle Pete ]
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Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
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Curiosity killed ...
Ship's Mug
# 11770
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
quote:
Originally posted by Curiosity killed ...:
The next person to do it, I have warned them, I am going to staple their balls to the desk.
And what if the miscreant is a woman?
It still applies, I'll staple their boobs to the desk. I also have a staple gun locked away.
(Actually, the most likely culprits are male)
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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat
Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
An old boyfriend of mine used to say "shit and derision", and in a language school for |Italian students "Spaghetti!" spat out with attitude (the word, not the dish) was quite effective. The nuns at my school used to say "Mother of God" - I quite like it. So genteel.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Roseofsharon
Shipmate
# 9657
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Stetson:
My dad, who even on a good day had what could be called a sour, world-weary disposition, would occassionally reply "God only knows, and he'll never tell", when asked a question to which he didn't know the answer.
I suppose that could be construed as blasphemous, since, at least the way he delivered the phrase, it contained a slight resentment that God withholds information from people.
That brought to mind one that my mother used to use. The first two words are well enough known, and said, but I don't recall hearing anyone else completing the phrase:
"Jesus wept - and well He might, to see such sinners in His sight!"
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Talk about books -any books- on our rejuvenatedforum http://www.bookgrouponline.com/index.php?
Posts: 3060 | From: Sussex By The Sea | Registered: Jun 2005
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Graven Image
Shipmate
# 8755
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Posted
Good old Mom used, Pop Rose," on extreme occasions.
Posts: 2641 | From: Third planet from the sun. USA | Registered: Nov 2004
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Dogwalker
Shipmate
# 14135
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Posted
My father, who was of the World War II generation, could be quite expressive. And funny.
Laughing at him at such times was not a good idea, let me tell you!
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If God had meant for us to fly, he wouldn't have given us the railways. - Unknown
Posts: 155 | From: Milford, MA, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
I have a fondness for "eggsucking son of a porcupine," stolen from a book, of course. But it has such lovely consonants! Besides making small children stare at me in awe.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
Reading this, methinks "deck the halls" might be a good seasonal oath. My usual potty mouth comment is "bloody hell". Which is something that lost my dessert several times. I thought it had an aura of sophistication when a teenager with less questions than I have today.
My dear dear uncle used to say "shit on my old bald head" as an expression of astonishment, even in polite company and get away with it. Today it'd probably be easier to get away with it, given the shortage of polite company these days.
I wonder what the strongest oath uttered from pulpit ever has been. I did hear a Venerable get called venereal once, but this seemed to be an accident at post church coffee and the person who said it was so esteemed everyone pretended it was said correctly. I wondered later if there was any truth to the mistake given later comments in other ocassions.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Jack o' the Green
Shipmate
# 11091
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Posted
Sometimes I say "Bowsers and tanks!" which I heard on the news as part of a BBC news report during a water crisis which occurred at the start of Gordon Brown's Premiership. The phrase appealed for some reason. An Irish friend is far from subtle. When exasperation finally takes over, she has been known to exclaim "Cuntus-fuckin-buntus!"
Posts: 3121 | From: Lancashire, England | Registered: Feb 2006
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
In the film Parting Glances two of the characters smash a whole collection of crockery and at the end one puts his hand to his mouth and says:
quote:
Oh dear, what have we done?
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
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What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Man on a bicycle!
My mother would sometimes be maddened into 'Jesus, Mary and Joseph!'
My grandmother was a good deal less pious and would snarl 'Shut your mouth and give your arse a chance!'
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
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Posted
I am so stealing that one!
Shut your mouth and give your arse a chance!
for those times when I am at my absolute rope's end.
![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
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Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
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Galloping Granny
Shipmate
# 13814
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Posted
Many years ago on the beach I passed a small boy who had built a sand castle and was happily patting it into shape as he sang "bugger,bugger,bugger...." He must have found it a very satisfying sound.
Long afterwards this tv commercial gave the word a new respectability and it became the oath of choice in our house (we loved the dog).
Of course in, I think, Solomon Islands pidgin, 'bagarap' is the formal word for broken, spoiled, not working.
Another version of the 'hell's bells' is 'hell's bells and buggy wheels'.
GG
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The Kingdom of Heaven is spread upon the earth, and men do not see it. Gospel of Thomas, 113
Posts: 2629 | From: Matarangi | Registered: Jun 2008
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Kittyville
Shipmate
# 16106
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Posted
Two more Irish ones from my childhood:
"I hope you die roaring!" In response to some egregious slight or other; and
"[So and so] said..." "[So and so]! If he knew Latin, he'd say mass" indicating that so and so always had something to say on any given subject, with shades of this being due to fondness of the sound of his voice,
Posts: 291 | From: Sydney | Registered: Dec 2010
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Lothlorien
Ship's Grandma
# 4927
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Galloping Granny:
Many years ago on the beach I passed a small boy who had built a sand castle and was happily patting it into shape as he sang "bugger,bugger,bugger...." He must have found it a very satisfying sound.
Long afterwards this tv commercial gave the word a new respectability and it became the oath of choice in our house (we loved the dog).
Of course in, I think, Solomon Islands pidgin, 'bagarap' is the formal word for broken, spoiled, not working.
Another version of the 'hell's bells' is 'hell's bells and buggy wheels'.
GG
GG, my second grandchild was about fifteen months old when those ads were around. She was an early walker and talker. At a family dinner one night, she was pushing a stroller around, laden with various toys. She hit a wall and the toys fell out. "Oh bugger!" she said, loudly. My eldest son, her uncle, nearly fell off his chair laughing. He was triumphant. Unknown to any one else he had been coaxing her in it. To hear it said so appropriately was very funny.
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Buy a bale. Help our Aussie rural communities and farmers. Another great cause needing support The High Country Patrol.
Posts: 9745 | From: girt by sea | Registered: Aug 2003
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
My favorite is Rats. If I'm really perturbed, it's Razzle Frazzle.
My mother never said naughty words until the three of us were grown and out of the nest. I'm still taken aback when she uses what has turned out to be her favorite: shit.
My grandmother who was the queen of propriety once played Scrabble with my siblings and me, and chose shit as her word. I can still hear her giggling.
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
I picked up swearing at the Congregational Church Badminton Club!
The words are stored in the brain differently from normal language, and using them can reduce pain sensitivity. I suppose "Fishcakes", "Sugar", "Hell's Teeth" and such like can be imbued with that power, given enough explosive consonants.
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668
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Posted
The oddest one I've heard was years ago from my wife's reverend grandfather in Montana. Someone said something he didn't believe, and he retorted, "So's your old man!" Upon further enquiry to my father-in-law, it was a familiar one, but I've never heard it since.
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Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)
Posts: 905 | From: On the traditional lands of the Six Nations. | Registered: Sep 2011
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Pomona
Shipmate
# 17175
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Posted
Like Jo March, 'Christopher Columbus!'.
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Consider the work of God: Who is able to straighten what he has bent? [Ecclesiastes 7:13]
Posts: 5319 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2012
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Carex
Shipmate
# 9643
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Posted
We tend to more tame language in (parts) of my family. My grandfather used "Oh pshaw" as his highest (public) expression of disappointment. My mother occasionally came out with "Hell's bells and panther tracks". I usually use "Oh grump!"
Having worked in logging camps and the like, I've been around a lot of swearing, but not necessarily very creative. Perhaps the most extensive outbreak of swearing directed at me was at a professional meeting between two high-tech companies, in response to the charts I had prepared showing the correlation between two measurements. I wasn't there myself, but my manager later recounted the details of the response from our customer's technical lead, who rattled through at least half a dozen profanities in his surprise that we were measuring characteristics at least an order of magnitude better than he thought was possible.
(It seems that many high-tech companies have a very competent, high level employee whose salty public expressions are tolerated in light of the value of their other contributions.)
Posts: 1425 | Registered: Jun 2005
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Galloping Granny
Shipmate
# 13814
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Posted
There's always 'Bum!' or, in extreme cases, 'Double bum!!'
Many years ago I was talking to my aunt, who had what today would be considered a pretty informal child-care operation, when a small girl came up to her and reported in a shocked tone, 'Miss C, Terry said "Bottom"!'
GG
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The Kingdom of Heaven is spread upon the earth, and men do not see it. Gospel of Thomas, 113
Posts: 2629 | From: Matarangi | Registered: Jun 2008
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Drifting Star
Drifting against the wind
# 12799
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Posted
I once shared an office with someone who would exclaim 'Blooming!' when provoked. That was odd in itself (so odd that I still occasionally use it myself.) However, the reason it was most memorable was because of a grammar pedant who also shared our office, who would collapse onto her desk practically sobbing, 'You can't just say 'Blooming'! It's an adjective!!!'
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The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Heraclitus
Posts: 3126 | From: A thin place. | Registered: Jul 2007
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georgiaboy
Shipmate
# 11294
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Posted
A priest colleague (a few years back) referred in a sermon to someone as a 'schmuck.' I asked him afterwards if he was aware that was a Yiddish word (derived from the Polish) for penis. He was not particularly concerned, saying that he thought most folks would take it to mean 'jerk,' which was what he meant.
I did point out, however, that there was at least one person in the congo who was fluent in Yiddish.
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You can't retire from a calling.
Posts: 1675 | From: saint meinrad, IN | Registered: Apr 2006
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basso
Ship’s Crypt Keeper
# 4228
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Posted
My father was partial to "Oh, balls".
He stopped using that phrase after I took it for a test drive one day in front of company. I don't recall how old I was, but surely old enough to know better.
Posts: 4358 | From: Bay Area, Calif | Registered: Mar 2003
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Penny S
Shipmate
# 14768
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by georgiaboy:
A priest colleague (a few years back) referred in a sermon to someone as a 'schmuck.' I asked him afterwards if he was aware that was a Yiddish word (derived from the Polish) for penis. He was not particularly concerned, saying that he thought most folks would take it to mean 'jerk,' which was what he meant.
I did point out, however, that there was at least one person in the congo who was fluent in Yiddish.
I'm not convinced that jerk is entirely kosher, either.
Posts: 5833 | Registered: May 2009
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Which is why polite Jews will use shmoe or schlemiel instead. Not quite the same meaning, but close enough.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
We had a young relative staying whose language was sometimes unacceptable to his mother. Mum taught him Muckleflugger which she later claimed was a place in Scotland. His mother was a bit taken aback at his new vocabulary.
Huia
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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
Which is why polite Jews will use shmoe or schlemiel instead. Not quite the same meaning, but close enough.
A schlemiel is a guy who trips and spills the soup. A schlematzl is the guy the soup lands on. Just in case anyone was wondering.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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