Ship of Fools: Bible theme for a restaurant

Thread: Bible theme for a restaurant Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

What would a Biblical-themed restaurant be like?

I envisage it as with waiters clad in sackcloth, but glad to have a Job. The Friday menu would, obviously, have tiny portions of loaves and fishes (all different kinds) on small plates on a little conveyor belt.

On other days, there could be the Samson Steak, a 14oz piece of meat with a honey glaze. Dessert could include Eve’s Pudding.

Other suggestions welcome...

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

'What's the soup today?'

'Mess of pottage. It always is.'

Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on :

Forbidden fruit salad, anyone?

Be prepared for a surprise if you order the bottled water.

[ 12. August 2016, 11:47: Message edited by: Sipech ]

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
'What's the soup today?'

'Mess of pottage. It always is.'

With all the Manna you want.

Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :

Fresh meat, served from a sheet that descends from the ceiling. Butchery not included in the service.

Posted by DonLogan2 (# 15608) on :

Two sections; clean and unclean food (not the fight club kind though!)

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

Quail, cooked in different ways for each day of the year (except Saturdays). Again, served with manna on the side.

Like Ronnie Barker's Rook restaurant, but kosher.

[ 12. August 2016, 12:17: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]

Posted by Gamaliel (# 812) on :

There was a restaurant in Keighley, West Yorkshire, if I remember rightly, that was run by Born-Again Christians and was imaginatively titled, 'The Born-Again Christian Restaurant'.

I don't know whether it's still going. I never went there when I lived 'oop north'.

Is the term 'Born-Again Christian' still in vogue?

Posted by Mudfrog (# 8116) on :

Yes, we must be born again.
Why would it go out of fashion?

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Gamaliel:
There was a restaurant in Keighley, West Yorkshire, if I remember rightly, that was run by Born-Again Christians and was imaginatively titled, 'The Born-Again Christian Restaurant'.

Were infidels admitted? And, if so, did they receive a discount of they committed their life to Jesus? [Devil]

Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :

Were the customers lions, with a menu of born-again Christians?

Posted by Eigon (# 4917) on :

There used to be a chippy in North Wales (Rhosllanrechrugog) called Taste And See (that the Lord is good)!

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
Were the customers lions, with a menu of born-again Christians?

You will, of course, remember the restaurant that served the Piece of Cod beyond all Understanding. (Actually in the version I read it wasn't a restaurant but a railway Dining Car - there aren't many of them about these days!)

[ 12. August 2016, 12:55: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

PS One of the "Pullman Dining" menus for Great Western trains features "Roast Monkfish" ... not Biblical, but will it do?

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

Locusts and wild honey?

Posted by The Midge (# 2398) on :

Fast-no-food.

Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :

The kitchen will be well stocked. One small jar of oil, one small jar of flour, large containers of water, five small barley loaves, two small fish.

They can scrounge bed from the guy next door, even if he's gone to bed.

Posted by Brenda Clough (# 18061) on :

I find it difficult to imagine how they would present a bill, and if they did how they would ever collect the money.

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
The kitchen will be well stocked. One small jar of oil, one small jar of flour, large containers of water, five small barley loaves, two small fish.

They can scrounge bed from the guy next door, even if he's gone to bed.

The guy next door doesn't have a bed, but he does have a stable.

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

"The Desert Place Diner" - fish sandwiches are a speciality, served in a basket by the owner's young son.

It's only open in the evenings and diners (who have to suggest on the grass) are requested to pick up their own crumbs afterwards.

[ 12. August 2016, 15:13: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]

Posted by Stercus Tauri (# 16668) on :

There must be something that can be done on a Judgment Day theme with an open pizza oven on one side and a well stocked wine rack on the other. I'd offer seating by the oven to our praise band.

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

Judgement Day is the tastings evening. You're given a plate of small, mysterious offerings (some of them are burnt) and you try to identify them. You are also handed a tray of small glasses that look as if they contain water, but actually don't. You record all your guesses on a crackly parchment scroll that's usually difficult to keep unrolled.

Each correct guess is greeted by a fanfare then silence for about half an hour, and when you've finally filled in as much of the crackly scroll as you can, and got fed up with the succession of small plates and watery drinks, you are led to a table where you're served a satisfying plate of roast lamb and a glass of good red.

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

But that would take ages - I hope they've worked out a good deal with a local late-night taxi service (?"Jehu's Chariots").

Thinking of Jehu ... I don't think "The Elijah Barbecue" would be too successful. All the food (and, indeed, the whole restaurant) would get burned to the ground, after which all the customers would be soaked.

[ 12. August 2016, 16:44: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
Judgement Day is the tastings evening. You're given a plate of small, mysterious offerings (some of them are burnt) and you try to identify them. You are also handed a tray of small glasses that look as if they contain water, but actually don't. You record all your guesses on a crackly parchment scroll that's usually difficult to keep unrolled.

Each correct guess is greeted by a fanfare then silence for about half an hour, and when you've finally filled in as much of the crackly scroll as you can, and got fed up with the succession of small plates and watery drinks, you are led to a table where you're served a satisfying plate of roast lamb and a glass of good red.

Do you finish by casting the Chef into the oven?

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

If 12 people turn up, they each have a portion of a Levites concubine.

If you try to run away without paying, they send Jael after you.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

If you don't conform to the dress code, you'll be tossed out into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Schroedinger's cat:
If you try to run away without paying, they send Jael after you.

And then you are Jaeled for non-payment.

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

I saw this and immediately thought of burnt offerings.

Posted by Graven Image (# 8755) on :

A fatted calf, served with gape of the vine, but of course no pork.

Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
You're given a plate of small, mysterious offerings (some of them are burnt) and you try to identify them.

A Tapas bar then ...

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Graven Image:
A fatted calf, served with gape of the vine, but of course no pork.

If we are going Levitical, no badger either.

---

The beef has to be roast by splitting the carcass and putting fire down the middle.

Posted by Lothlorien (# 4927) on :

A place flowing with milk and honey.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Maximum Occupancy Not To Exceed 144,000

Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :

BYOB - you bring a bottle of water, they turn it into wine.

Now that's my kind of restaurant ... [Two face]

Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :

The Isaiah Special: a feast of rich food, a feast of well-matured wines, of rich food filled with marrow, of well-matured wines strained clear.

Posted by cliffdweller (# 13338) on :

Whatever they serve, on the way out after your meal you can stop by the front desk for one of their sacramints.

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

The food is brought to you by ravens.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Today's Special: All-you-can-eat loaves and fish. (Sorry, no carry-out.)

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

If you order fish, or an egg, or bread, that's what you'll be served -- not a snake, a scorpion, or a stone.

Posted by Eutychus (# 3081) on :

You have to bring at least a selection of your enemies, so that the (plentiful) food can be served in their presence.

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Piglet:
BYOB - you bring a bottle of water, they turn it into wine.

Now that's my kind of restaurant ...

Depends how much they charge for corkage. [Devil]

Posted by Ricardus (# 8757) on :

Is it time to revisit the Cena Cypriani?

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

I don't know. But if it really was written by the ci-devant Bishop of Carthage, then the restaurant of that name should clearly be serving Lamb Tagine with Couscous ... and, of course, red wine.

Yum - yum: I want to go there NOW! (Oh, forgot, we've got a roast cooking in the oven and it'll be ready in half an hour).

[ 13. August 2016, 17:16: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

"Hello, I'm Mary. I'll be your server tonight." [listens to order] "Let me see if we have that." [calling in to kitchen] "Martha, do we have any . . . ."

Posted by Robert Armin (# 182) on :

Sandy Toksvig said she wanted to open a delicatessen in Galilee. She would call it "Cheeses of Nazareth".

Posted by cliffdweller (# 13338) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Robert Armin:
Sandy Toksvig said she wanted to open a delicatessen in Galilee. She would call it "Cheeses of Nazareth".

That makes me think of this classic Life of Brian clip

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

I remember a cookbook* from many years ago with one chapter titled "What a Friend We have in Cheeses."

*I think it was Helen Gurley Brown's "Single Girl's Cookbook."

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Call the restaurant "Bitter Herbs."

Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :

quote:
Originally posted by cliffdweller:

quote:
Originally posted by Robert Armin:
Sandy Toksvig said she wanted to open a delicatessen in Galilee. She would call it "Cheeses of Nazareth".
That makes me think of this classic Life of Brian clip

On that theme, I don't suppose rich Imperialistic tidbits wouldn't work in a Biblically themed restaurant.

Posted by Gamaliel (# 812) on :

@Mudfrog, I was thinking of the term or phrase itself, not necessarily what it denotes.

And as you'll be well aware, there are various theological perspectives on the issue of regeneration.

Posted by Evangeline (# 7002) on :

I don't know what the food is like but it's prepared and put on the table before you in the presence of your enemies and your cup overflows.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Customer: "Is this a vegan restaurant?"
Waiter: "No, ma'am. Flesh is our food indeed."

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

What about the "Bread of Life" bakery? The bread would be very light and well risen.

Or the "Galiean Boatman" café - St. Peter's fish a speciality (I shall resist any suggestion that it also might have cannibalism on the menu).

[ 15. August 2016, 12:27: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]

Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on :

Open up a restaurant near Westboro Baptist Church entitled God Hates Figs

Dress code: Sackcloth & Ashes

Posted by Hugal (# 2734) on :

There is actually a biblical based fast food resturant in the Holyland Exprience in Orlando. I had a Gloliath burger, it wasn't

Posted by Mudfrog (# 8116) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Gamaliel:
@Mudfrog, I was thinking of the term or phrase itself, not necessarily what it denotes.

And as you'll be well aware, there are various theological perspectives on the issue of regeneration.

Oh indeed- I don't care how it happens or by what means - sacramental or otherwise; just as long as it happens.

Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on :

I like a restaurant with a menu that has a whole manna of things on it.

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

Indeed. Good mannas are essential.

Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :

Eat all that is put before you. Doggy bags for you to take some home for tomorrow will not be supplied.

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

Alternatively, a restaurant with seating under the rich folks' tables so the poor people can catch the crumbs.

Posted by Nick Tamen (# 15164) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
Alternatively, a restaurant with seating under the rich folks' tables so the poor people can catch the crumbs.

Or maybe they'll just decide to upend the tables, lavish good food on the hungry and send the rich folks away empty.

Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on :

Waiter : We have an in-house pick your own Fig tree Sir.

Customer: Oh how lovely... Er there's no figs on it.

Waiter: That's because they're out of season

[Mad]

YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!! [Mad]

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