|
Source: (consider it)
|
Thread: Gifts for people in hospital
|
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
|
Posted
More specifically, I'm looking for ideas of things I could bring as gifts for someone elderly who is at the end-of-life stage.
She's past the stage of being able to hold or read a book. Eating is difficult, but I've continued to bring chocolates (chocolate buttons are easier now) and some small pots of favourite creamy desserts. She isn't mobile and has difficulty communicating (memory is not at all what it was either). Flowers aren't permitted on the ward, but other people have suggested artificial ones.
I was thinking of printing out some photos of her home town, maybe bringing some of her favourite perfume in. I was thinking perhaps of some small squares of soft fabric to stroke and feel.
I'd welcome any suggestions for anything else.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Doone
Shipmate
# 18470
|
Posted
Some lovely ideas, Ariel. If she is a Christian, possibly one of those small olive wood crosses that she can hold or keep under her pillow.
Posts: 2208 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2015
| IP: Logged
|
|
Chocoholic
Shipmate
# 4655
|
Posted
If you are thinking of the soft fabrics there are twiddle mitts which you can buy or make especially if you know her favourite colours.
Posts: 773 | From: London | Registered: Jun 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
|
Posted
How about a soft toy? Something to cuddle if she has the strength to hold it. A friend's elderly mother was very pleased with a small purple teddy bear.
--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
| IP: Logged
|
|
cliffdweller
Shipmate
# 13338
|
Posted
Great suggestions-- particularly the photos.
Other ideas: if she has some way of listening to music (CD player, iPod) some recording of favorite hymns or books on tape. Soft cozy socks are often appreciated in hospital, or a soft shawl or afghan.
--------------------
"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner
Posts: 11242 | From: a small canyon overlooking the city | Registered: Jan 2008
| IP: Logged
|
|
lily pad
Shipmate
# 11456
|
Posted
Keep in mind that perfume or perfumed items may not be allowed in the hospital.
This may seem silly, but one of my elderly friend's favourite things was a little plastic flower pot with a bright daisy in it. It used solar power to make the flower wave back and forth. It was an amusing conversation starter and always brought a smile to others. It was tiny and sat on her tray. I believe they are called dancing solar flowers or something like that.
--------------------
Sloppiness is not caring. Fussiness is caring about the wrong things. With thanks to Adeodatus!
Posts: 2468 | From: Truly Canadian | Registered: May 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Kitten
Shipmate
# 1179
|
Posted
My late father spent a lot of time in hospital and he always appreciated a gift of a really nice squash or cordial. The overheated rooms made him thirsty a lot and it added interest to the water jugs
--------------------
Maius intra qua extra
Never accept a ride from a stranger, unless they are in a big blue box
Posts: 2330 | From: Carmarthenshire | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
ErinBear
Shipmate
# 13173
|
Posted
I want to second the idea of music. If there is music that you know she enjoys, or you think she might, that can be a really good gift if there is a way for her to listen to it. I had some hospitalizations this year, and listening to music really was a big help to me. My situation is different than end-of-life issues, but I think having music one enjoys would be a real comfort for many people in that instance.
Prayers and blessings,
ErinBear
Posts: 2441 | From: California, USA | Registered: Nov 2007
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
|
Posted
Some great suggestions - thanks all! Bedsocks, definitely, thanks for the prompt, cliffdweller.
I'm also wondering about getting a little Box of Memories together with some photos and little things in it that can easily be picked up and held to look at or feel and enjoy, so giving that some thought. I don't want them to get lost in hospital, though.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Arabella Purity Winterbottom
Trumpeting hope
# 3434
|
Posted
Memories are good. When Mum was dying we kept a conversation about things that happened in the past going. If your friend is able to look at photos this is easier - we do it a lot with my ma-in-law. She enjoys being able to wander down memory lane, specially since what happened yesterday is gone.
--------------------
Hell is full of the talented and Heaven is full of the energetic. St Jane Frances de Chantal
Posts: 3702 | From: Aotearoa, New Zealand | Registered: Oct 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
lily pad
Shipmate
# 11456
|
Posted
Another thought, I once visited a woman who had a guest book on her tray. She was very insistent that everyone who visited her sign it and leave a note about their day or about the visit.
Our church had recently been torn down and a new one built and, since I lived close to where she had moved for her retirement, my parents gave me photos of the new church with hand written notes on the back to take to her. I spent a lovely hour or so, signed the guest book, and left the photos.
Her daughter was very pleased to know where the photos had come from and to have the connection to our family.
The book wasn't fancy, a regular notebook, as I recall, but it sure prompted some nice visits and let the staff and regular visitors have something to talk about when they read who had been by.
--------------------
Sloppiness is not caring. Fussiness is caring about the wrong things. With thanks to Adeodatus!
Posts: 2468 | From: Truly Canadian | Registered: May 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
|
Posted
I second the suggestion of a soft toy animal. My sister got my mother a plush turtle (you'd have to know my mother!) which she cuddled in bed.
--------------------
"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
Piglet
Islander
# 11803
|
Posted
I'd go along with the teddy-bear idea too. You're never too old for one. ![[Smile]](smile.gif) Some of the patients on the ward where my mum was had teddies, and you can get very soft, tactile ones these days.
--------------------
I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
| IP: Logged
|
|
jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
I'm also wondering about getting a little Box of Memories together with some photos and little things in it that can easily be picked up and held to look at or feel and enjoy, so giving that some thought. I don't want them to get lost in hospital, though.
if the box is clearly labelled on the lid
Mary's memory box -please do not move there should not be a problem.
--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
| IP: Logged
|
|
Lothlorien
Ship's Grandma
# 4927
|
Posted
Ariel, such a box sounds a really good idea. Would it be a good idea to have the original photos copied and for you to keep the original? I knew someone, a quilter, who used to use scraps of material in much the same way as others use photos. Give her a scrap and she knew when she made the quilt, and more details. Little things trigger memories.
I am still grateful to the young nurse who would have long conversations with Dad. All about his childhood etc. He knew just how to trigger Dad's mind and they had a great time together. Amazing therapy for dad who died on this date in 1998.
--------------------
Buy a bale. Help our Aussie rural communities and farmers. Another great cause needing support The High Country Patrol.
Posts: 9745 | From: girt by sea | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
|
Posted
I already have some scans of the photos, so can use those.
So far I've got some postcards of places that should mean something to her, some family photos, some lovely old coins from decades ago which I'm going to polish up, a prayer card of St Michael and a rosary. There'll be something with lavender if I can get it in the next couple of days, some trinkets and some pictures of home. I don't want to overload the box (or its recipient) but may add other things as I think of them.
I was quite lucky with St Michael (who she has a special devotion to) - just arrived at the church shop about 10 minutes before they closed, to find just what I'd hoped for, and it was the last one on the shelf.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Beenster
Shipmate
# 242
|
Posted
This may sound a bit trite but i would be inclined to share the words on this thread, maybe read it to her? I think if it were me, I would be touched beyond belief that someone had cared so much to ask around how best to help and people had cared to answer.
in an often lonely world, it will be something of the present your friend maybe able to ponder over. Not sure how great the memory is but it may touch the heart for a moment?
If I were your friend, I would be greatly warmed by your thought and care.
Posts: 1885 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668
|
Posted
The one thing I've really wanted during my short hospital stays was a soft pillow - one that hadn't been through the hospital laundry. I don't know if they allow you to bring them in, with all the emphasis on infection control now, but it would make a difference.
(Another thing I once prayed for in the hospital, just before Christmas a few years ago, was that God would smite down the Salvation Army band, but he didn't, and the band played on).
--------------------
Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)
Posts: 905 | From: On the traditional lands of the Six Nations. | Registered: Sep 2011
| IP: Logged
|
|
Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
|
Posted
Having spent several years of my life in the hospitals (not anything long term since April 2002, thank goodness) the one thing I always appreciated was books and magazines.
A soft pillow would have been nice - and as long as the pillowcase was changed on a regular basis (coloured cases would be enough to distinguish your personal pillow, I don't see that the hospital would complain.
As for the Salvation Army noisemakers, I heartily agree. Thank goodness they were not permitted to promenade their noise through the hospital wards. I used to send clowns packing after I turned 9 or so.
--------------------
Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
bib
Shipmate
# 13074
|
Posted
I visited a lady who had been confined to bed in hospital for many months. I found she appreciated small gifts such as a bowl of strawberries or raspberries. I also mad her a photo album of her favourite people and places which she enjoyed sharing with other visitors. One of the worst gifts is a big bunch of flowers that need a vase of which there seems to be a shortage in most hospitals.
--------------------
"My Lord, my Life, my Way, my End, accept the praise I bring"
Posts: 1307 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2007
| IP: Logged
|
|
Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
|
Posted
Good suggestions, especially re taste and touch.
Maybe some hand lotion, or other small comforts/luxuries? Be sure to find out if she has any skin sensitivities, first, and any issues around scents. If she's capable of putting the lotion on unaided, see if you can find something that's easy for her to open/use. E.g., if she doesn't have much dexterity but does have some hand strength, a pump bottle of lotion might be good.
Also if she's in bed and the gift is something that could easily slip off the bed, maybe find a way to fasten it to the bed or rails. If a teddy bear decides to go exploring under the bed, she won't be able to get it, and the nurses may not have time to retrieve it. But if you make a belt or leash out of ribbon, velcro, string, etc., then the bear can stay where it's needed.
(I'm in bed most of the time, and it's a royal pain if something slips off the bed and I'm not up to retrieving it!)
--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Doone:
Some lovely ideas, Ariel. If she is a Christian, possibly one of those small olive wood crosses that she can hold or keep under her pillow.
Or a rosary, if she's comfortable with that. If she happens to be Buddhist, there are mala prayer beads. They can be comforting, even if just held.
Oh, and about fabric pieces for her to touch: If possible, maybe find out if there are any particular textures she likes. FWIW.
--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
BabyWombat
Shipmate
# 18552
|
Posted
I'd augment these many excellent ideas by adding two thoughts:
If you bring the gift of music consider bringing some of an era of her life she enjoyed -- perhaps when she was courting or raising children -- music from her happy time of life.
If you can bring in a guest book perhaps ask if staff would allow you to post a little sign asking those who visit or stop by to sign. This is primarily for you -- so you know who to thank. The individual in the facility may not think to mention visitors to you.
And blessings on you both a this difficult time!
--------------------
Let us, with a gladsome mind…..
Posts: 102 | From: US | Registered: Feb 2016
| IP: Logged
|
|
Hail Mary
Apprentice
# 18531
|
Posted
Something colourful to put hanging in the window, over the bed, or sit on the sill, like a little stained glass sun catcher or mobile that will throw colours around the room.
--------------------
My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world. ~ Jack Layton
Posts: 35 | From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2016
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
|
Posted
Thanks all for these lovely suggestions. I'd put together a Box of Memories with pictures of her home town, an old family photograph taken on her wedding day, a prayer card and rosary, some postcards of places that held meaning for her, and some little trinkets that mean nothing to anyone else. I’d also bought a tiny pot of yellow silk daisies, as real flowers weren’t allowed on the ward. However, end of life caught up with her before I did, and these things aren't needed now.
None the less, please feel free to make further suggestions as someone else might find them helpful or inspirational. I don't want this to turn into a memorial thread.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
|
Posted
![[Votive]](graemlins/votive.gif) For both of you.
--------------------
But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
| IP: Logged
|
|
Japes
Shipmate
# 5358
|
Posted
I'm sorry, Ariel. Many thoughts for you as you do what now needs to be done.
--------------------
Blog may or may not be of any interest.
Posts: 2013 | From: Somewhere in the middle | Registered: Dec 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Doone
Shipmate
# 18470
|
Posted
Ariel I hope the box that you have so lovingly made up gives you comfort your thoughtful thread and all the contributors have given me many ideas for little gifts when visiting elderly friends and family, thank you everyone ![[Angel]](graemlins/angel.gif)
Posts: 2208 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2015
| IP: Logged
|
|
Graven Image
Shipmate
# 8755
|
Posted
My mother really seemed to like a muff I gave her. Her hands were always cold and the muff was a lot easier to use then mittens or gloves. It was a child's muff with an animal head on it but worked well because she was a small women and by then very thin. I had trouble finding an adult muff but the animal head muff turned out to be better because it gave others a reason to talk with her about her dog headed muff.
Posts: 2641 | From: Third planet from the sun. USA | Registered: Nov 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
Hail Mary
Apprentice
# 18531
|
Posted
Bless you for your kind heart, Ariel. Hearts like yours keep the world turning.
--------------------
My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world. ~ Jack Layton
Posts: 35 | From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2016
| IP: Logged
|
|
Printer-friendly view
