Thread: Who the hell invented hail? Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.
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Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
Because hail, you fucking suck. This is the second time you've shredded leaves and clogged my gutters and caused water to enter my house. And this time you did it while I was on fucking holiday and sitting in Rod Laver Arena trying to enjoy myself.
And I thought it wasn't too much drama this time and that I could cope with smelly carpets for a bit because hey, at least they're still functioning carpets, and the phone/answering machine needed replacing anyway, only this afternoon I've realised that the ceiling is cracking and I'm reliving all the trauma of 9 years ago and oh God I can't go through that again and hail I fucking hate you why do you EXIST?! And WHY HAVE YOU GOT IT IN FOR MY GUTTERS??
*hyperventilates into bag*
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
God taps orfeo on the shoulder, flexes his considerable muscles and says:
Me, I invented hail, you wanna make something of it?
WW gives enormous thanks that we don't get hail here, it can be a real bastard - a bit like God in that respect!
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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orfeo--
Sorry you're going through that! Maybe hail is attracted to gutters the way tornadoes are attracted to trailer parks?
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
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Also, I would really like the world to stop trying to fill my house with vacuous crap. Thank you.
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on
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I think you need to unpack that one, dude. What constitutes " vacuous crap" and who broke into your house and put it there without your consent?
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
I think you need to unpack that one, dude. What constitutes " vacuous crap"
Pretty much everything
quote:
and who broke into your house and put it there without your consent?
Pretty much everyone
Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on
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Orfeo probably deserved it.
Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on
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Wasn't it a freak hail storm that set Europe on a mission of torturing and murdering innocent women some Centuries ago?
You have every right to place hailstones in Hell orfeo.
I don't mind the little dancing ones that turn the garden white, look pretty and then melt.
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on
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Could be worse, look on the bright side, chin up and all that. Your house is still standing and your car might look like this but presumably it doesn't.
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on
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Hail is the natural consequence of repeated circulation of ice crystals in clouds on warm days, being lifted on thermals and then falling back through the cloud all the while growing in size as further moisture freezes onto the outside.
The problem isn't the hail. The problem is with the design of guttering in a location where hail is common such that it doesn't manage to do what it's supposed to under the regularly occuring conditions of a hail storm.
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
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I wonder how a house is designed that allows water in when the gutters are full.
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Maybe it was designed by someone who loved the gospel hymn: "Running ooooooverrr, running ooooooverrrr, my cup is full and running oooooooverrrrr..."?
orfeo, isn't it a little unusual to have hail in the Greek underworld?
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on
:
There was a fashion in the UK at one point for building the gutters into the top of the outside walls, rather than having overhanging eaves with the gutters attached there. Particularly common on flat roofs, which are probably the stupidest idea ever for a wet climate.
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
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Still, gutters occasionally get clogged with leaves and stuff. I'd think you'd design your house so that a very foreseeable occurrence -- clogged gutters -- wouldn't result in ruined carpets.
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on
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One would have thought so, but sometime architects seem to go to extraordinary lengths to achieve an aesthetic that isn't necessarily practical.
But, still, when you get wet carpets as a result of blocked gutters it seems unfair to blame the weather.
Posted by Kittyville (# 16106) on
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Surprisingly common here, Mousethief - in part bad gutter design, including the profile being such that the outer lip was higher than that next to the house - with predictable results. And no - I cannot explain how anyone thought that that was anything other than very, very stupid.
Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
Still, gutters occasionally get clogged with leaves and stuff. I'd think you'd design your house so that a very foreseeable occurrence -- clogged gutters -- wouldn't result in ruined carpets.
Still so innocent after all these years?
Behold, yet another victim of crappy gutter hanging practices. I'd replace the damn lot and do it right but am missing that one essential, lots of $.
Posted by Arethosemyfeet (# 17047) on
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Hail here is mostly a problem when cycling and getting it blown in your face by a 40mph gale.
Posted by W Hyatt (# 14250) on
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Ouch! ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
Posted by Athrawes (# 9594) on
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I suspect that this rant is the result of severe and super-cell storms we have had here over the last two or so weeks. If so, the guttering would not have been able to cope with the huge amount of water. The hail stones up here have been *huge* and the wind was strong enough to snap telephone posts off at the base in the last really bad one we had (Christmas Eve, I think that one was. A bad time to be without power for 4 days, anyway). Orpheo is a fair way from here, but they were getting some very impressive storms there according to the radar images.
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
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Have had house damage several times by hail. Once they were 2 and 3 inches diameter. Insurance never replaces loss, merely mitigates. Eaves trough covers are useful. Allowing water through, and not debris. Snow and ice is something else entirely. Requiring roof shovelling and heat tape.
What do people call the gutters between road and walkway if eaves troughs are gutters in your English?
Posted by RooK (# 1852) on
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quote:
Originally posted by no prophet's flag is set so...:
What do people call the gutters between road and walkway if eaves troughs are gutters in your English?
Perhaps if you were to avail yourself to a dictionary, you might be pleased to discover how general a term "gutter" is, and how it can encompass both meanings. A delightful thing, knowledge.
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Re raised outer lip on gutters:
Maybe to keep the water and muck from overflowing on *that* side, onto passersby?
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Arethosemyfeet:
Hail here is mostly a problem when cycling and getting it blown in your face by a 40mph gale.
Yikes! In some parts of the world you could get stoned to death riding a bicycle in a hailstorm. The woman taken in adultery could have been left out in an Indiana supercell hailstorm and not needed any self-righteous busybodies at all.
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Still so innocent after all these years?
You have no idea.
quote:
Originally posted by Golden Key:
Re raised outer lip on gutters:
Maybe to keep the water and muck from overflowing on *that* side, onto passersby?
On a house with proper eaves, the overflow would still spill over, just with a small (long and skinny) pool of standing water seeping up under the shingles.
Posted by Evangeline (# 7002) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
quote:
Originally posted by no prophet's flag is set so...:
What do people call the gutters between road and walkway if eaves troughs are gutters in your English?
Perhaps if you were to avail yourself to a dictionary, you might be pleased to discover how general a term "gutter" is, and how it can encompass both meanings. A delightful thing, knowledge.
Knowledge is indeed a wonderful thing, like knowing the correct preposition to use. I guess availing oneself of a dictionary would be useful for that too.
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
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It's way for fun to be in the gutter with all of you than to/of use a dictionary. Twirling around together like unflushable turds. Some of us even float.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
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Dear back seat house designers,
The gutter in question is not at the edge of the house (though some of them were very clogged as well). It is the v-shaped gutter from the top of the roof down to the corner in the part of my house that forms an "L" shape.
In other words, there is no drop on one side. Both sides consist of tiles. The water is supposed to funnel into this gutter, go to the bottom of the gutter and then be distributed by the gutters at the edge of the house.
When leaves and hail form a dam in the bottom third of this v-shaped gutter, the intended effect is difficult to achieve. The water can generally go left into the roof, right into the roof, or straight up into the laws of physics.
Your revised engineering answers will be read with interest.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
I think you need to unpack that one, dude. What constitutes " vacuous crap" and who broke into your house and put it there without your consent?
Oh, I kept carrying it in. After people put it in my letter box, or handed it to me as a 'gift', or otherwise offered it to me in a situation where it was either impolite to refuse or I briefly thought the thing might be desirable, or it was packaging for something else, or it was useful before it broke.
I just rarely have the mental energy to properly sort the wheat from the chaff, and I'm the kind of person who gets too scared about throwing out wheat.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
The problem isn't the hail. The problem is with the design of guttering in a location where hail is common such that it doesn't manage to do what it's supposed to under the regularly occuring conditions of a hail storm.
You of all people should know that where hail is "common" is somewhat up in the air these days, the climate not being what it used to be.
Posted by W Hyatt (# 14250) on
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quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Your revised engineering answers will be read with interest.
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
It is so easy to make assumptions without even being aware of them.
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
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quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Dear back seat house designers,
The gutter in question is not at the edge of the house (though some of them were very clogged as well). It is the v-shaped gutter from the top of the roof down to the corner in the part of my house that forms an "L" shape.
In other words, there is no drop on one side. Both sides consist of tiles. The water is supposed to funnel into this gutter, go to the bottom of the gutter and then be distributed by the gutters at the edge of the house.
When leaves and hail form a dam in the bottom third of this v-shaped gutter, the intended effect is difficult to achieve. The water can generally go left into the roof, right into the roof, or straight up into the laws of physics.
Your revised engineering answers will be read with interest.
This is not a use of the word "gutter" with which I was previously familiar.
Posted by Lothlorien (# 4927) on
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It is a gulley, here, not a gutter. They can also rust through as well as get blocked.
Posted by Lothlorien (# 4927) on
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I guess the storms your way have dumped torrential rain in bucketloads on your roof. They certainly have further north to you. Both gutters and gulleys would be overflowing in a short time, leaves and other debris or not.
The term gulley is used for the drain Orfeo described, not the gutter at the edge of the house.
More forecast for tonight, too.
[ 30. January 2016, 03:48: Message edited by: Lothlorien ]
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
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Maybe this has something to do with having tile rooves instead of solid ones with shingles or shakes.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
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Look, they were pretty well ALL blocked. Much as I'd love to draw a diagram showing the location of the tree, the apparently prevailing winds that dumped the leaves over the roof onto the other side etc etc, what I care about most is the end result and the fact that I am currently using a stepladder and mop combination to prop up a portion of my lounge room ceiling.
Also, the covering outside my back door has holes smashed in it, but this is a minor point.
Posted by Lothlorien (# 4927) on
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Maybe this has something to do with the ferocious storms we are having here lately and before Christmas.
Regardless of roof material, that angle Orfeo describes would need draining in some way. We had it happen years ago but in an old house where the gulley had rusted through.
I came home to a waterfall cascading into upstairs hall. Water had got in, broken a larrge hole in plaster cornice and water poured through.
I can now see rain falling to north of my place, up Gee D's way. Clouds to west are ominous and I need light on to see at 4:30 on a summer afternoon. We had over 2.5 cm in a short time yesterday.
Orfeo, I can certainly envisage the leaves etc. I live in an apartment on second top floor, so do not have problems with gutters etc.
However, my balcony was deep in sodden leaves blown in by gale. Were I next floor up, your problem could be happening here.
Now I guess you have insurance assessors etc to deal with.
[ 30. January 2016, 04:36: Message edited by: Lothlorien ]
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Lothlorien:
Maybe this has something to do with the ferocious storms we are having here lately and before Christmas.
You don't say...
My damage happened on the 25th, but yesterday there were 4 or 5 thunderstorms, and close to the same today though so far only two managed to produced any rain at this particular spot in town.
It's insane. I'm used to either steady rain, or a storm comes through in the afternoon and is gone. Two days in a row it's been storm/sunshine/storm/sunshine over and over throughout the day, from the morning right through.
Posted by mousethief (# 953) on
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Do y'all get tornadoes? Cells that produce hail in the US can produce tornadoes. Terrifying.
Posted by Lothlorien (# 4927) on
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Not a usual thing in Sydney, Mousethief, but Bureau people called a storm a tornado which hit some suburbs here a week before Christmas. It caused massive damage to a couple of coastal suburbs. They gave been hit again in this series of storms which have damaged Orfeo's place.
Thses storms are different. Large areas of the state have been affected. Orfeo is around three hours from my place. Areas as far west or north again have all been hit on same day.
Nine fire engines have just screamed west past my place. Something nasty there, I guess.
[ 30. January 2016, 05:45: Message edited by: Lothlorien ]
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
The problem isn't the hail. The problem is with the design of guttering in a location where hail is common such that it doesn't manage to do what it's supposed to under the regularly occuring conditions of a hail storm.
You of all people should know that where hail is "common" is somewhat up in the air these days, the climate not being what it used to be.
Which gives another legitimate target for your rant, rather than just blaming the poor hail which is nothing more than how storm clouds work. For more than 30 years scientists have been telling us that we're altering the global climate by polluting our air with excessive quantities of carbon dioxide and other gases, that this will lead to warmer average temperatures and more frequent storms of greater intensity. And, as the scientific data became even more convincing politicians around the world put their fingers in their ears and repeated the phrase "la, la, la ... not listening to you". And, all the while the problem has increased so that what would have been modest reductions in carbon emission 30 years ago to significantly limit the effects of our activities have become significant reductions now to simply tinker around the edges of the problem.
So, rant against the fucking politicians and business leaders who have done everything in their power to do nothing about carbon emissions that have screwed-up the climate.
Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on
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quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
It's insane. I'm used to either steady rain, or a storm comes through in the afternoon and is gone. Two days in a row it's been storm/sunshine/storm/sunshine over and over throughout the day, from the morning right through.
If this is the beginning of Armageddon maybe we have to expect blocked gutters.
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Here in the U.S. it would obviously be President Obama's fault, but I'm not sure he can be blamed in Australia.
Posted by Eigon (# 4917) on
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I understand that the Viking rune for Hail was also the rune for Disaster!
Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
Here in the U.S. it would obviously be President Obama's fault, but I'm not sure he can be blamed in Australia.
Oh come now. A little imagination and the thing is done!
Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on
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Quite right LC.
Make a change from everything past,present and future being the fault of the British Empire.
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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quote:
Originally posted by rolyn:
Quite right LC.
Make a change from everything past,present and future being the fault of the British Empire.
Definitely connected -- wasn't Kenya part of the British Empire when Barack Obama was born there?
![[Biased]](wink.gif)
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Eigon:
I understand that the Viking rune for Hail was also the rune for Disaster!
Hagall, yes. The sudden blast that destroys. Quite understandable, especially if you were a Scandinavian farmer worried about your crops.
Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Lothlorien:
It is a gulley, here, not a gutter. They can also rust through as well as get blocked.
Strange spelling of gully, but that's not a normal term in building. It is a valley.
Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
Here in the U.S. it would obviously be President Obama's fault, but I'm not sure he can be blamed in Australia.
He did visit this part of the New Empire and brought his evilness with him.
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
quote:
Originally posted by rolyn:
Quite right LC.
Make a change from everything past,present and future being the fault of the British Empire.
Definitely connected -- wasn't Kenya part of the British Empire when Barack Obama was born there?
It is connected because Obama is from Hawaii which has a union jack in the corner of the state flag.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
It's bright and sunny this morning, but I'm not fooled. 70% chance of rain with a possible thunderstorm this afternoon.
You can't entice me out. Bastards.
Posted by RuthW (# 13) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
what I care about most is the end result and the fact that I am currently using a stepladder and mop combination to prop up a portion of my lounge room ceiling.
I'm feeling pretty good about being a renter right now.
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by balaam:
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
quote:
Originally posted by rolyn:
Quite right LC.
Make a change from everything past,present and future being the fault of the British Empire.
Definitely connected -- wasn't Kenya part of the British Empire when Barack Obama was born there?
It is connected because Obama is from Hawaii which has a union jack in the corner of the state flag.
Of course! (If you believe that phony birth certificate of his!)
![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Look, they were pretty well ALL blocked. Much as I'd love to draw a diagram showing the location of the tree, the apparently prevailing winds that dumped the leaves over the roof onto the other side etc etc, what I care about most is the end result and the fact that I am currently using a stepladder and mop combination to prop up a portion of my lounge room .
You could always use all the vacuous crap you've hoarded* to prop up the ceiling.
* oh, yes I did!
Posted by Carex (# 9643) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Gee D:
quote:
Originally posted by Lothlorien:
It is a gulley, here, not a gutter. They can also rust through as well as get blocked.
Strange spelling of gully, but that's not a normal term in building. It is a valley.
I thought it was short of backward point.
Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on
:
The most frightening we ever had was a plough wind through the forest where 150 cabins including our's are. 400 or so 70 to 90 foot spruce trees came down. 8 inches of rain. We escaped trees but water was forced under and through the roof for $15k damage when ceilings came down. 75 cabins lost with trees crushing them. Amazingly no one died. By the time the summer ended, the lake had risen 4 feet. 300% of normal rainfall.
This and the 1987 Edmonton tornado are storms I shall never forget.
Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Carex:
quote:
Originally posted by Gee D:
quote:
Originally posted by Lothlorien:
It is a gulley, here, not a gutter. They can also rust through as well as get blocked.
Strange spelling of gully, but that's not a normal term in building. It is a valley.
I thought it was short of backward point.
Along with 3 slips. They seem to go hand in hand.
Good news that Orfeo is not fooled.
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
...I'm feeling pretty good about being a renter right now.
I used to work with several young men who often said the same sort of thing!
[ 31. January 2016, 07:52: Message edited by: Welease Woderwick ]
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
I'm feeling pretty good about being a renter right now.
In this sort of situation there are pro's and con's with renting and owning.
Renting:
Pro - the landlord has to sort out the repairs
Con - the landlord has to sort out the repairs
Owning:
Pro - you have to sort out the repairs
Con - you have to sort out the repairs
The balance really is whether you have a landlord who will get a good tradesman in to fix it up very quickly, or continue to take your rent while they "research who to get", "consult the insurance company" (or otherwise stall on spending any money). On the ownerside whether you are the sort of person who can get someone in easily and quickly (and, pay for it upfront before hearing what the insurance will contribute). Probably the worst situation is renting, knowing you could have got someone in to fix it within a few days and find yourself waiting for the landlord to do it three months later.
Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Gee D:
Along with 3 slips. They seem to go hand in hand.
Good news that Orfeo is not fooled.
I,m going in with a couple of
Might be getting this crosswired, and could be due to downing a glass an a half of Red, but hey what the hell.
Probably going to chew my head chewed off for giving advice here orfeo, but I'd be pretty keen to get down to the timber merchants today and replace that stepladder and mop with a couple of sturdy pit-props.
[ 31. January 2016, 13:07: Message edited by: rolyn ]
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on
:
Thank you, Handy Manny.
Ugh. That ceiling scenario reminds me of my late grandparent's hovel. Their spare room ( the one sis and I slept in when we stayed over) had a soft spot in the corner of the ceiling, which turned into a sagging spot, which they couldn't afford to fix and would have successive layers of cardboard, plywood and duck tape plastered over it. I still have nightmares about the attic caving in on us.
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Gee D:
quote:
Originally posted by Lothlorien:
It is a gulley, here, not a gutter. They can also rust through as well as get blocked.
Strange spelling of gully, but that's not a normal term in building. It is a valley.
You know, the English language is so damn jacked up I can't imagine why people are shocked furriners have a hard time learning it. A gully is a kind of creek. A valley is the space between two goddamn mountains. HOW THE HELL DID PLUMBING COME INTO IT?
I'm gonna go away and listen to Los Bukis for an hour to cleanse myself.
Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on
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This is a gutter and it's connected to a downspout, which could also have a water butt connected.
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
This is a gutter and it's connected to a downspout
Never heard that before. That's a drainpipe.
[ 31. January 2016, 16:42: Message edited by: Ariel ]
Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on
:
I like this one ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on
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Very cute. Now imagine the mess a hailstorm would make of that.
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
This is a gutter and it's connected to a downspout
Never heard that before. That's a drainpipe.
Downpipe.
Posted by Doublethink. (# 1984) on
:
Happen wor Geordie lost his penka, we went and got wor terrier and rammed it up the cundy, but it was in his bloody pocket. Possibly you had a terrier rammed in your cundy, causing the unfortunate consequences you so eloquently describe.
Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on
:
quote:
Doublethink.: Happen wor Geordie lost his penka, we went and got wor terrier and rammed it up the cundy, but it was in his bloody pocket. Possibly you had a terrier rammed in your cundy, causing the unfortunate consequences you so eloquently describe.
Looks like you had a wonderful time ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on
:
Well, I'm so overjoyed to find out that we each speak God's Own English, and are far, far too obtuse and stupid to either learn what other people call things or even accept that they call them other things—because, when God Himself gave your True Chosen People the names for various bits of architecture, why should you even bother thinking that someone else could call them something else?
Now go away.
Posted by Al Eluia (# 864) on
:
Just a question for those in countries that don't play baseball: When you get really large hailstones, what do you compare them to?
Posted by quetzalcoatl (# 16740) on
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Testicles.
Posted by Carex (# 9643) on
:
Footballs. (The round sort, of course, not the type with pointed ends.)
Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on
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I like quetzalcoatl's answer, but in my country it's usually tennis balls.
Posted by RooK (# 1852) on
:
Just a question for those that do play baseball:
Why?
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
Just a question for those that do play baseball:
Why?
Baseball is (still just) played round here. Anyone who has played cricket will tell you that it is played because the ground is so sodden and pudding-like that making a decent cricket pitch nigh-impossible. For baseball you need little more than a large field with an off-centre hump
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
Just a question for those that do play baseball:
Why?
Baseball is (still just) played round here. Anyone who has played cricket will tell you that it is played because the ground is so sodden and pudding-like that making a decent cricket pitch nigh-impossible. For baseball you need little more than a large field with an off-centre hump
I thought it was to have a slightly less boring game to play.
Whack bat is superior to both.
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
Just a question for those that do play baseball:
Why?
I don't play baseball (or any other sport), but I think its popularity is because we all grew up playing softball as kids -- either formally at school or informally in a vacant lot. The transition to baseball is pretty simple.
(And because cricket has even stranger rules than Mornington Crescent!)
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on
:
Orfeo, just get yourself some of these. No more worries about gutters.
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on
:
...
Sweet Fancy Moses, who let the clowns out of the Circus?
Posted by Doc Tor (# 9748) on
:
Kill them all. The hosts will know their own.
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Ariston:
...
Sweet Fancy Moses, who let the clowns out of the Circus?
Meant to ask that ever since they shifted you...
Posted by RooK (# 1852) on
:
We still have the Circus? Cute.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Al Eluia:
Just a question for those in countries that don't play baseball: When you get really large hailstones, what do you compare them to?
Cricket balls, of course. I mean, the thread already headed in that direction.
The insurance company was very quick to act, but in a slightly useless fashion. Apparently carpets are contents, whereas the ceiling is part of the house, meaning that the people who were here yesterday to look at things, make notes, and cut away the piece of smelly carpet disavowed any part in ensuring the ceiling stayed up.
Apparently the woman I first spoke with only filed the claim as contents, not building. Admittedly at that point I hadn't spotted the crack in the ceiling, but I had mentioned it was stained and that both it and the walls would need work - painting at the very least. She muttered something about the excess on my claim which I only half took in, and I now gather that she was doing me a "favour" by only putting in the claim on one side and thereby subjecting me to only one excess payment.
Which would be all very well if I valued the amount of money in my wallet over the state of the house, but I'm one of those weird people who believe the purpose of money is to spend it on things you want. And I want my house repaired.
[ 01. February 2016, 22:07: Message edited by: orfeo ]
Posted by Doublethink. (# 1984) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
We still have the Circus? Cute.
Ram it up yer cundy, leafboy.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
Renovation Update
A hole has been cut in my lounge room ceiling, releasing all the wet loose insulation! Some of it onto sheets and into garbage bags, some of it onto the floor!
I'm pleased. This is progress.
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on
:
It must be a breathtaking sight. And smell, for that matter.
Posted by David Goode (# 9224) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by no prophet's flag is set so...:
What do people call the gutters between road and walkway if eaves troughs are gutters in your English?
In Cambridge we call it a conduit; Hobson's Conduit, to be precise.
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on
:
A gutter is something that carries away water whether at roof or street level. In the latter capacity, it has a rather negative image (possibly because in times past there would be more unsavoury things than rainwater travelling along it).
If I were on a country road, I'd more likely say ditch or sheugh.
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
It must be a breathtaking sight. And smell, for that matter.
Ok, I read this after having seen Dt's last post....
Posted by Doc Tor (# 9748) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by David Goode:
In Cambridge we call it a conduit; Hobson's Conduit, to be precise.
You mean, it's a river you couldn't be arsed to culvert.
Posted by David Goode (# 9224) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Doc Tor:
You mean, it's a river you couldn't be arsed to culvert.
Quite the opposite: it's entirely man-made.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
In news that appears to be a coincidence, my CD player on the opposite side of the room stopped working this morning, after 24 years of being a key part of my life.
I hate you all.
Posted by Doublethink. (# 1984) on
:
Now is the time to upgrade, think of all the fabulous windiw shopping that will need to occur ...
Posted by Nightlamp (# 266) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
Just a question for those that do play baseball:
Why?
Because they like playing old English games?
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
In news that appears to be a coincidence, my CD player on the opposite side of the room stopped working this morning, after 24 years of being a key part of my life.
I hate you all.
A 24 year old CD player finally bit the dust and it's our fault? Can't you be thankful for the long happy years you had together?
It's with Bowie now... ![[Tear]](graemlins/tear.gif)
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink.:
Now is the time to upgrade, think of all the fabulous windiw shopping that will need to occur ...
Good luck with that! Around here CD players are almost impossible to find unless you want an ugly "boom box" that sounds like rubbish. The electronics stores laughed at me when I was looking for a new one, saying that no one listens to CDs anymore. (They were selling record players, but I guess they're making a comeback.) I broke down and bought a Bose -- more than I wanted to spend, but there was no choice.
Posted by RooK (# 1852) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
In news that appears to be a coincidence
Oh, goodie! Coincidental news! Apparenly orfeo is angling to get a job at Fox News.
quote:
my CD player on the opposite side of the room stopped working this morning
This seems like it might be some sort of bragging.
quote:
after 24 years of being a key part of my life.
Correction: some sort of vulgar bragging.
quote:
I hate you all.
Clearly I have completely misunderstood the earlier bits. I suspect that my version was better, though.
Posted by Palimpsest (# 16772) on
:
We are all in the gutters, but thanks to holes in the roof some of us are looking at the stars.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
A 24 year old CD player finally bit the dust and it's our fault?
I didn't say you caused it. Just that I hated you all. People lash out in their grief.
Anyway, right now it's decided to work again. But for how long? I feel like I can't trust it anymore. The relationship is damaged.
[ 03. February 2016, 06:35: Message edited by: orfeo ]
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Palimpsest:
We are all in the gutters, but thanks to holes in the roof some of us are looking at the stars.
You have indoor gutters? Do you have other features of street architecture? Are you in fact living in an urban tent?
Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on
:
I was talking with a Scottish friend yesterday about the storm you were having there. In his strong accent (which I always have difficulty understanding), he told me that when he was young during a storm somewhere on the Scottish highlands, they felt a bit chilly. They looked up and discovered that part of the roof was blowing off. So they sat down, poured themselves a whisky and looked at the clouds.
Posted by RooK (# 1852) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Nightlamp:
Because they like playing old English games?
Speaking of old English sports! Hello Darth Nightlamp.
Posted by Nightlamp (# 266) on
:
Ah, great, Rook reminding me of my age.
Thanks for the welcome, it is good to be posting again.
Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on
:
A late friend who was a builder/ carpenter/undertaker reckoned that if a building's gutters fell into disrepair then the building itself would eventually follow.
We used to live in a thatched farmhouse that had no gutters and only leaked on rare occasions. It saw many a storm and severe weather and the only problem latterly was getting decent quality reed with which to maintain it.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
Thanks for that devastating bout of twisted logic which has precisely nothing to do with my house.
If you like, I can come around to any house of your choosing with immaculately maintained gutters, form a dam of ice and freshly picked leaves in it, then we can pour some water in and watch what happens.
Unless, of course, you believe that a homeowner ought really be outside in the middle of a hail storm, knocking away the stones and debris as and when they arrive.
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
:
If blocked gutters cause interior flooding, there is a failure on more levels than simply the gutters themselves. A well-designed home should account for such an occurrence. Lot grading, secondary drainage, weather sealing at the gradeline are just a few. Presuming you have any control over these, they might be issues to address when time/resources are available.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
Right! I shall go around seeing to it that the tiles are completely impermeable such that, if the intended downward path of water suddenly ceases to be available, the water will rise up over the tiles and run down them with no possibility of it going between them.
Then I shall sit inside and suffocate.
PS You might want to work on this in the UK a bit. Your rivers have this bizarre habit lately of overflowing and going places they're not supposed to. Poor engineering if you ask me.
[ 06. February 2016, 23:14: Message edited by: orfeo ]
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Right! I shall go around seeing to it that the tiles are completely impermeable such that, if the intended downward path of water suddenly ceases to be available, the water will rise up over the tiles and run down them with no possibility of it going between them.
Just trying to offer some help. However, if all you came down here for was to whinge, carry on.
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
PS You might want to work on this in the UK a bit. Your rivers have this bizarre habit lately of overflowing and going places they're not supposed to. Poor engineering if you ask me.
It kinda is. And poor planning, to some extent as well.
Posted by Sober Preacher's Kid (# 12699) on
:
Wow, what a great thread.
Can I try? ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
Today I Call to Hell....
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Sober Preacher's Kid:
Wow, what a great thread.
Can I try?
Today I Call to Hell....
Not sure what pharmaceutical you have been using as of late, but you either need to cut back or do a lot more.
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Sober Preacher's Kid:
Wow, what a great thread.
Can I try?
Today I Call to Hell....
Dude, this is not about you and your petty little problems, This is about Orfeo and the apparent vendetta the entire material world has against him at the moment. Gutters, CD players, even the weather! Geez, which Elder God did he piss off?
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Right! I shall go around seeing to it that the tiles are completely impermeable such that, if the intended downward path of water suddenly ceases to be available, the water will rise up over the tiles and run down them with no possibility of it going between them.
It wouldn't be a bad idea to explore different options for reducing the problem. My parents always got a lot of leaves on the roof in autumn, and to prevent them blocking the gutters they installed leaf-guards on the gutters - which are an arch of spines running along the gutter, the leaves stick to the top of the arch but water can still flow underneath without carrying the leaves with it to form a blockage in the downpipe. That's one example, whether it will help your situation is going to depend on the particular nature of the guttering.
But, wringing your hands saying there's nothing you can do to stop it, and whinging on an internet bulletin board are not going to stop the water coming in the next time there is a hail storm.
quote:
PS You might want to work on this in the UK a bit. Your rivers have this bizarre habit lately of overflowing and going places they're not supposed to. Poor engineering if you ask me.
Indeed. Part of it is that the water is going where it's supposed to, but some idiots went and built houses there. Part of it is that there are places upstream where the water was supposed to go, but other idiots channeled the streams to prevent their grouse moors getting too wet.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Right! I shall go around seeing to it that the tiles are completely impermeable such that, if the intended downward path of water suddenly ceases to be available, the water will rise up over the tiles and run down them with no possibility of it going between them.
It wouldn't be a bad idea to explore different options for reducing the problem. My parents always got a lot of leaves on the roof in autumn, and to prevent them blocking the gutters they installed leaf-guards on the gutters - which are an arch of spines running along the gutter, the leaves stick to the top of the arch but water can still flow underneath without carrying the leaves with it to form a blockage in the downpipe. That's one example, whether it will help your situation is going to depend on the particular nature of the guttering.
But, wringing your hands saying there's nothing you can do to stop it, and whinging on an internet bulletin board are not going to stop the water coming in the next time there is a hail storm.
No, I know it isn't. And I know about gutterguards. But is there such a thing as a guard for the... what are we calling it... valley that actually blocked?
I've never seen one. I've only ever seen gutterguards for gutters.
This whole notion that EVERYTHING is preventable and ought to be prevented is one that I find problematic. It's certainly one of the things that leads to excessive government regulation, as immortalised in my favourite Onion video which I've cited here more than once before.
Sure, I suppose I could prevent leaves ever being blown across to the other side of the roof after they've been stripped by a hailstorm by cutting down the tree, but what if next time the wind's coming from a different direction? And how far around my house should I cut down all trees?
Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Geez, which Elder God did he piss off?
Dare I hope we will be hearing from one of them soon?
Posted by mark_in_manchester (# 15978) on
:
quote:
You might want to work on this in the UK a bit.
Naah - in the UK your roof would leak too. You're right - you're screwed. Even if it was felted in something impermeable under the battens, the joints in the felt / rubber sheet ( ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
) would assume that flow would follow gravity, so water 'backing up' would get you every time. Even crimped-up continuous steel roof coverings (like on our church...there's a tale of woe) have gaps where elevations meet at valleys. That's where the water gets in, and allows churches to be farmed for £352k of professional and legal fees to tell them so, without any remedial work taking place!
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
And I know about gutterguards. But is there such a thing as a guard for the... what are we calling it... valley that actually blocked?
I've never seen one. I've only ever seen gutterguards for gutters.
I just Googled "roof valley leaf guard", FYI. Often a useful way of answering an "is there such a thing as ..." type questions.
Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on
:
Not all things are preventable. Much of the time damage limitation is the best we can strive for.
Posted by RooK (# 1852) on
:
Keep in mind that this is a person who was supporting some interior feature of his home with a broom, and no indication of whether this was a temporary measure. And don't forget the whole Tori Amos affinity. We can't expect too much from him.
Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Unless, of course, you believe that a homeowner ought really be outside in the middle of a hail storm, knocking away the stones and debris as and when they arrive.
When SE England had a freak wind storm in 87 it was famously mis-forcast. Had it been correctly forcast and various sensational warnings thrown around it is reckoned many people would have come to grief trying to protect their properties .
I would hate to think of you up a ladder in the middle of the night battling against hailstones, especially if they're coming down at a hell of a rate and are the size of quetz's testicles
Posted by Patdys (# 9397) on
:
Hums
Snow can wait
I forgot my mittens
Wipe my nose
Get my new boots on
I get a little warm in my heart
When I think of winter....
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by rolyn:
especially if they're coming down at a hell of a rate and are the size of quetz's testicles
Oh, I think Orfeo can handle a shower of M&Ms...
Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
[QUOTE] But is there such a thing as a guard for the... what are we calling it... valley that actually blocked?
I've never seen one. I've only ever seen gutterguards for gutters.
Yes, there is - just look at the roof of D Towers, or of our house down the coast. Talk to your gutterguard person.
[ 08. February 2016, 09:04: Message edited by: Gee D ]
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Patdys:
Hums
Snow can wait
I forgot my mittens
Wipe my nose
Get my new boots on
I get a little warm in my heart
When I think of winter....
Ooh. Haven't listened to that one for a while. She sang it live in Brisbane in November 2014 at the very end of the world tour, got everyone to sing along it was magic. And did you know it's partly based on one of Rachmaninov's piano pieces?
[/fanboy]
Posted by ThunderBunk (# 15579) on
:
The fanboy routine will never end.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
Funny how I'm not the one who actually brings up Tori Amos, though, isn't it? I don't have to. People do it for me.
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on
:
Brings uo, or throws up?
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
You sad little vindictive man. I pity you.
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
:
Little as an insult?
Heightist.
I hope the velcro on your feet loses its effectiveness and you fall off the underside of the planet.
Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Oh, I think Orfeo can handle a shower of M&Ms...
you crack me up Kelly.
To be fair on quetz I am guilty of embellishment for comic effect. Closer inspection of the post on on the comparative size of hailstones reveals it actually said "testcles" without actual mention of ownership.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Little as an insult?
Heightist.
I hope the velcro on your feet loses its effectiveness and you fall off the underside of the planet.
What, you mean the discovery that flying insects are nesting in my bedroom window frame isn't punishment enough?
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Little as an insult?
Heightist.
I hope the velcro on your feet loses its effectiveness and you fall off the underside of the planet.
What, you mean the discovery that flying insects are nesting in my bedroom window frame isn't punishment enough?
Not really. Not unless they are carrying a virus that makes your body purchase Pat Boone's In a Metal Mood: No More Mr. Nice Guy, every track by the Insane Clown Posse and the collective works of Patrice Wilson and play them on an endless loop.
Those who use heightist slurs deserve no mercy.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
I sense you may not be tall.
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
Ah, I think that was the album that lost Boone his gig as March of Dimes spokesman, for a while. And IIRC he received a music award, wearing a bad-boy, leather outfit.
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
I sense you may not be tall.
I am of perfectly normal size, thank you so kindly. Unlike the pituitary cases I seem constantly surrounded by.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
I sense you may not be tall.
I am of perfectly normal size, thank you so kindly. Unlike the pituitary cases I seem constantly surrounded by.
Ah well, I look forward to you changing your name to "normal-sized Buddha" at the next opportunity.
Posted by RooK (# 1852) on
:
Missed a qualifier, perhaps? Like: perfectly normal size, for the Shire.
Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on
:
People comparing their sizes on page three of a Hell thread. It's almost like the old days.
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
Missed a qualifier, perhaps? Like: perfectly normal size, for the Shire.
You want in on this, you syrup-sucking, wannabe hipster? Comb the crumbs of your $$$ panko encrusted, habanero-passionfuit donut out of your "ironic" handelbar mustache, finish your organic, gluten-free, vegan, fair trade, single bean, Chemex coffee, mount your penny farthing and scram.
Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on
:
Or, perhaps this is the normal size for a Buddha?
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
Or, perhaps this is the normal size for a Buddha?
That was created to minister to the over-sized in a language they could understand
Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on
:
quote:
Alan Cresswell: Or, perhaps this is the normal size for a Buddha?
They're normally a bit fatter.
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
quote:
Alan Cresswell: Or, perhaps this is the normal size for a Buddha?
They're normally a bit fatter.
The link pictures Gautama Buddha, the source of Buddhism.* You are thinking of Budai.
*Yeah, it is more complicated than that, but...
Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on
:
I've seen statues of rather fat Buddha's in Thailand.
Posted by Lucia (# 15201) on
:
And I have seen a rather thin Buddha statue in Lahore Museum, Pakistan. Fasting Buddha
It seems that Buddha comes in all shapes and sizes...
[ 10. February 2016, 19:13: Message edited by: Lucia ]
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
:
I've never seen a fat Buddha that isn't Budai. This is true of Thailand to the best of my knowledge. The starving Buddha represents his ascetic period before he came to enlightenment.
ETA: In some traditions, Budai will become the next Buddha.
[ 10. February 2016, 19:59: Message edited by: lilBuddha ]
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
Missed a qualifier, perhaps? Like: perfectly normal size, for the Shire.
You want in on this, you syrup-sucking, wannabe hipster? Comb the crumbs of your $$$ panko encrusted, habanero-passionfuit donut out of your "ironic" handelbar mustache, finish your organic, gluten-free, vegan, fair trade, single bean, Chemex coffee, mount your penny farthing and scram.
RooK, you grew a mustache since we met? I can't see it suiting.
Posted by Patdys (# 9397) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Ooh. Haven't listened to that one for a while. She sang it live in Brisbane in November 2014 at the very end of the world tour, got everyone to sing along it was magic. And did you know it's partly based on one of Rachmaninov's piano pieces?
[/fanboy]
I actually spent two hours listening to youtube clips after googling that. She is pretty good actually. But no Diana Krall who I saw last night...
Posted by mdijon (# 8520) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
I've never seen a fat Buddha that isn't Budai.
Does this help?
Posted by RooK (# 1852) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
You want in on this
Oh, yes please. Because orfeo has stopped rising to my taunts.
quote:
you syrup-sucking
Oh, cute! A vague attempt to nod at my Canuckistanni heritage. There's not a whole lot of syrup production in the rocky mountains where I'm from, but at least you tried.
quote:
wannabe hipster? Comb the crumbs of your $$$ panko encrusted, habanero-passionfuit donut out of your "ironic" handelbar mustache, finish your organic, gluten-free, vegan, fair trade, single bean, Chemex coffee, mount your penny farthing and scram.
Oh, you've heard of Portland, then?
It would be hypocritical of me to put up too much of a defense for all those trend-obsessed tight-pants-wearing micro-brewing unicyclists considering how much shit I fling them daily. Still, I do think that PDX is one of my favourite cities, and there's no denying that all the fantastic restaurants are probably strongly associated to the hipsterati.
Also, it would be incorrect to deny the 'stache. Though, it only grows in Movember, and is currently in remission.
This is where I suddenly twist the conversation to use my momentum to spike back some sort of incisive suggestion about a psychological flaw you hadn't realized you exposed. Except that, apparently, I'm too happy talking about myself and I honestly haven't paid enough attention to know anything about you. My bad.
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by Patdys:
Hums
Snow can wait
I forgot my mittens
Wipe my nose
Get my new boots on
I get a little warm in my heart
When I think of winter....
Ooh. Haven't listened to that one for a while. She sang it live in Brisbane in November 2014 at the very end of the world tour, got everyone to sing along it was magic. And did you know it's partly based on one of Rachmaninov's piano pieces?
[/fanboy]
Good God. If Orf was a D&D character, you know just how to distract him in Melee-- Toss a copy of Little Earthquakes at him. Roll resistance to enchantment, lose 2 turns if you botch.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
What makes you think it would work in Melee? It's not as if I had to drop anything meaningful in order to indulge in picking up that shiny little offering.
I'm perfectly capable of ignoring a Tori-barb if there's something else worth dealing with in a post.
Holmboe may be trickier. If anyone managed a Holmboe post, the sheer level of surprise might incapacitate me briefly.
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by mdijon:
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
I've never seen a fat Buddha that isn't Budai.
Does this help?
It perfectly illustrates the link I provided earlier, it will help those who do not wish to read the whole article. Thank you!
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
Oh, you've heard of Portland, then?
Been there. They do try a bit too hard to be unusual, but I did enjoy my visit. Lovely little waterfalls along the river.
quote:
Also, it would be incorrect to deny the 'stache. Though, it only grows in Movember, and is currently in remission.
I must say, you do look lovely in green plaid.
quote:
I honestly haven't paid enough attention to know anything about you. My bad.
If I weren't crying torrents of tears from the rejection in that, I would probably note that this is a fairly weak retort.
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
I'm perfectly capable of ignoring a Tori-barb if there's something else worth dealing with in a post.
Not bloody likely.
Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on
:
She's addicted to nicotine patches
I'm an absolute fluffy bunny
She's afraid of the light in the dark
And I'm posting off-topic
6:58 are you sure where my spark is here here here
I'm talking about how nice the weather is outside, in Hell
She's convinced she could hold back a glacier
Do you think he'll notice?
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Little as an insult?
Heightist.
I hope the velcro on your feet loses its effectiveness and you fall off the underside of the planet.
What, you mean the discovery that flying insects are nesting in my bedroom window frame isn't punishment enough?
Again I am reminded of my grandparent's house, and for the record that's an insult.
But I love Ozzie "terrifying creature"-porn. What kind of flying insect? Does it have a wing span of three fee-- excuse me, a metre? Will its venom kill you within minutes or seconds, or merely turn the affected limb gangrenous? Or does it cause the kind of delirium that would, well, frankly, explain a lot of your posts?
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Or does it cause the kind of delirium that would, well, frankly, explain a lot of your posts?
![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
But seriously, mental competence has to have existed before it can be degraded. Haven't seen any evidence here that he was ever in a right mind.
ETA: Little known fact: Koalas are the most venomous species alive. They are just too stupid to know.
[ 11. February 2016, 20:30: Message edited by: lilBuddha ]
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on
:
I've heard enlightenment kicks in when you call them stupid, though.
I've also heard they hate Qantas.
[ 11. February 2016, 20:35: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
Posted by RooK (# 1852) on
:
I thought Koalas were an international practical joke - actually just wombats super-glued to trees and pointed out to the gullible.
"They only eat Eucalyptus leaves - that's why they never come down."
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
Do you think he'll notice?
The italics were a bit of a giveaway.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
ETA: Little known fact: Koalas are the most venomous species alive. They are just too stupid to know.
You're probably thinking of platypuses. Which were thought to be a hoax when the first dead specimens were sent back to England. How the bloody hell can you have a duck-billed beaver that lays eggs and is poisonous?
Koalas are just bad-tempered bludgers.
Oh, and the flying insects? European wasps. One of the more undesirable house guests around here and it's not native.
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on
:
Wow. Both our continents seem to have this problem with European assholes coming over and fucking things up.
Can use this space to bitch about what happens to English ivy when it grows in California soil? It is Western kudzu. It ate our back fence, and I mean ate as in consumed the wood and replaced it with a skeleton of vines literally as thick as the trunks of year old oaks. Leaves as big as a large man's hand. Now it's trying for the 20 year old redwood tree I planted as a teen. Demonic stuff. I would love to plant it on the grave of whatever English expat 49er thought that was a good idea. And add LOTS of fertilizer.
Oh, and some rich Ozzie genius thought eucalyptus trees would be very pretty on our wildfire prone hills, too.
Freaking nouveau rich fortune hunting amateur gardener fuckwits.
[ 12. February 2016, 03:50: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Freaking nouveau rich fortune hunting amateur gardener fuckwits.
Damn, that's a lot of adjectives. You had me mentally diagramming the thing for a moment.
Time to go to bed.
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
LC--
Not diagramming via the dreaded transformational grammar, I hope!
![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif)
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on
:
Punctuation dilutes the impact of a frothing rant. You are supposed to imagine me spitting out that sentance as if it were one long word.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
Nouveau riche, darling.
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on
:
I've got a darling ass you can kiss, buddy.
Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
ETA: Little known fact: Koalas are the most venomous species alive. They are just too stupid to know.
Koalas are just bad-tempered bludgers.
Cousins of yours, no doubt.
AFAIK, there are no drop bears near us - at least I have never seen any here. But there must be valleys between home and the Hawkesbury that have yet to have been properly explored, even by the ancient peoples, and there could well be some there. Then there's all the wild territory between the river and the Hunter wine estates to take into account.
[ 12. February 2016, 05:48: Message edited by: Gee D ]
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
I've got a darling ass you can kiss, buddy.
See, if you'd wittily said "pardon my French" we could have made the Quotes File, but you've ruined it with your crassness.
Posted by mdijon (# 8520) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
I've got a darling ass you can kiss, buddy.
Brilliant come-back darling.
Posted by Patdys (# 9397) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
I thought Koalas were an international practical joke - actually just wombats super-glued to trees and pointed out to the gullible.
"They only eat Eucalyptus leaves - that's why they never come down."
Superglue?
Pissweak.
Nail gun buddy.
Posted by RooK (# 1852) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Patdys:
Nail gun buddy.
Let me pause in my slow-clap applause of the fantastically horrific visuals, so I can wonder aloud about the need to have a safety partner with construction.
"Now, remember! When on the construction site stick with your nail gun buddy."
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on
:
Pissy, you are one sick freak. Koala crucifixion?
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Pissy, you are one sick freak. Koala crucifixion?
Not bright enough to know.
I'll leave it up to you to decide which one of them I'm referring to.
[ 14. February 2016, 00:45: Message edited by: lilBuddha ]
Posted by Patdys (# 9397) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Pissy, you are one sick freak. Koala crucifixion?
Technically, wombat crucifixion.
NSFW
Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on
:
Now look - most of you may be Usians, and Orfeo lives in Canberra, but you can't be serious about crucifying the Muddle-headed Wombat. That really is going too far, messing about with our childhood.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
It's nice of you to ignore Patdys' role and to drag me into this. No, really. I was feeling left out.
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Gee D:
Now look - most of you may be Usians, and Orfeo lives in Canberra, but you can't be serious about crucifying the Muddle-headed Wombat. That really is going too far, messing about with our childhood.
The characters wombat, mouse and cat are substitutes for Aussie, Brit and Yank?
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Gee D:
Now look - most of you may be Usians, and Orfeo lives in Canberra, but you can't be serious about crucifying the Muddle-headed Wombat. That really is going too far, messing about with our childhood.
Us? That was fully and strickly Pissy. You'll note RooK and I expressed horror.
And I'm glancing over the thread, and no, most of us aren't American. Made that one up too, I see. Oh, maybe you meant the boards? No, that's untrue by a landslide, too. Which makes everything you said that isn't about a fictional wombat wrong.
I thought the Brits were more inclined to ignore things about furriners that didn't fit their prejudices, but I guess the Antipodean crowd does it, too.
Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
quote:
Originally posted by Gee D:
Now look - most of you may be Usians, and Orfeo lives in Canberra, but you can't be serious about crucifying the Muddle-headed Wombat. That really is going too far, messing about with our childhood.
The characters wombat, mouse and cat are substitutes for Aussie, Brit and Yank?
Not at all. They are simply Wombat, Mouse and Cat. Nothing more, nothing less. Need they be?
Did not want you to feel left out Orfeo, not in your preferred place centre-stage.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
Darling, if I want control of the narrative, I'll wrest it from you.
Posted by RooK (# 1852) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Darling, if I want control of the narrative, I'll wrest it from you.
Hold up. I haven't finished filling the wading pool with Jell-O™ yet.
Posted by Huia (# 3473) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Gee D:
Now look - most of you may be Usians, and Orfeo lives in Canberra, but you can't be serious about crucifying the Muddle-headed Wombat. That really is going too far, messing about with our childhood.
Contrary to the Wiki article Ruth Park who wrote those books was actually born in New Zealand, although she moved to Aus and married an Australian (Darcy Niland, who wrote books featuring an Aboriginal tracker).
Same as pavs and lammingtoms being first made in NZ
Thank you. We now return you to your metrological
rant.
Huia
Posted by RooK (# 1852) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Huia:
Thank you. We now return you to your metrological rant.
Bloody hell! You just broke my irony meter!
Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
Darling, if I want control of the narrative, I'll wrest it from you.
You promised you would not tell anyone.
Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by Huia:
We now return you to your metrological
rant.
So close and yet so far. "Metrology" is the scientific study of measurement.
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
quote:
Originally posted by Huia:
We now return you to your metrological
rant.
So close and yet so far. "Metrology" is the scientific study of measurement.
Well, a few of you have been waving your dicks around, so not so far off.
Posted by rolyn (# 16840) on
:
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Well, a few of you have been waving your dicks around, so not so far off.
A rant about hailstones blocking drains ends up with a phallic reference. How does this happen? ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
Posted by Doc Tor (# 9748) on
:
Dicks are what it's all about. Didn't you get the memo?
Posted by Doublethink. (# 1984) on
:
Have pity.
(Maybe not safe for work, if your work is allergic to newspapers.)
[ 19. February 2016, 19:07: Message edited by: Doublethink. ]
Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on
:
Oh.Yay.
My mother came home from her job as a nurse giggling fit to bust after having to deal with a similar case. There were, um, issues when she was helping the gentleman get situated on one of those porta-potty things. His member was so long it coiled up in the plastic bowl, which was not helpful.
I believe he had grabby hands, as well. The things you hear in a nurse's family!
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