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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: You just can't offend me.
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
We tried this once before-- a variation on "Let's Offend", with some practice in positive reframing. Typical set up/ response / supply next set up format.
The set up should be a clear insult- the more specific, the better.
Ex: ( From last round) Did you even bother to brush your hair this morning?
The response should be a self- effacing agreement with a positive spin, a deliberate misinterpretation that avoids the insult, or (bonus points) a reframe of the insult into a compliment.
Ex: (response to above from last round)
![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif) He just wouldn't let me out of bed this morning, you know how it is.
Try not to simply return insult for insult, although if you can do it subtly and gracefully, it might work. Your goal is to be the " bigger person."
To kick off: I see it will not be hard for you to be the bigger person. You seem to be the biggest person in the room. Lay off the donuts, willya?
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Actually, yes. I am a, um, specimen collector at the zoo, and it is vital that I smell appealing to the hippos. I'm quite popular, actually.
Did you really lose your keys again? What kind of idiot are you?
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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luvanddaisies
the'fun'in'fundie'™
# 5761
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Posted
The kind who goes out and has a good enough time to not be thinking about my keys.
I'll give him a call and see if he found them...
Is that the Daily Mail you're carrying? Nothing like balanced journalism, eh?
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"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." (Mark Twain)
Posts: 3711 | From: all at sea. | Registered: Apr 2004
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
I like to keep up to date with the scandal so I can discuss it with regular readers. What did you think of today's headline?
The way you always turn the topic of conversation to yourself is pure self absorbtion
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Sorry, it's a habit from being In Program. Rather than advising or lecturiing other people, we are taught merely to share our own journey and life experiences. In this way we can avoid judging other people's choices, mistakes, and weaknesses. Like spelling.
Act your age and stop embarassing yourself on the dance floor.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Thanks for your concern. It certainly would be embarrassing as well as painful to throw out my hip by dancing too vigorously. So I think I'll stick to the Electric Slide with the other boomers.
Good lord! I can't believe you walked outside in those colors!
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
She cares, she cares! I always knew that you were too shy to express your real feelings, sweetheart.
That limp just makes me want to pick you up and cuddle you, hopalong.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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An die Freude
Shipmate
# 14794
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Posted
I consider it cosmetic surgery. Speaking of which, I know this great surgeon who could do wonders for you! Do you want her number?
You only vote for that party because they'll benefit you personally!
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"I too am not a bit tamed, I too am untranslatable."
Walt Whitman
Formerly JFH
Posts: 851 | From: Proud Socialist Monarchy of Sweden | Registered: May 2009
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
Well, yes, but being a former army nurse who has come home and now look after my elderly parents, I think I, and others like me, could do with the help more than the capitalists.
You do know you're supposed to park between the lines, not across them, don't you?
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Alas, you didn't realise that that was a diabetic hypo reaction. But please don't worry, there were enough clued up people around to get me to A&E.
No, please don't imagine for a moment that I'm remaining upright because your breath smells - my arthritis doesn't allow me to bend forward.
[ 07. May 2015, 15:23: Message edited by: jacobsen ]
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Meike
Shipmate
# 3006
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Posted
Yes, I am a very imaginative person, people notice it all the time. And of course I'm sensitive enough to read between the lines: Perhaps it's a medical condition, you should have it examined.
Is that your new haircut or did you stick your finger in the socket one too many times?
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“A god who let us prove his existence would be an idol” ― Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Posts: 250 | From: I like this place | Registered: Jul 2002
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
How sweet of you to be concerned, but I don't think it is possible to stick your finger in a socket too many times! You should give it a try!
You don't have the brains that God gave a turnip!
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
You are so right. He gave me the brains of an intelligent human instead. I will leave the turnips to their own.
You didn't vote? So you are stupid, because you have enough complaints about everything. Get out and vote, loser.
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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Ex: ( From last round) Did you even bother to brush your hair this morning?
No, but I brushed my teeth! (drum roll)
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Schroedinger's cat:
You are so right. He gave me the brains of an intelligent human instead. I will leave the turnips to their own.
You didn't vote? So you are stupid, because you have enough complaints about everything. Get out and vote, loser.
How could I have voted?! Bloody Hell, I was born in LA!
Is that how your face normally appears or did you swap with a monkey?
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
You know, calling someone a monkey face is a great compliment in Jaipur. Thank you for acknowledging my cleverness and sacredness.
Women of a certain age should not wear sleeveless tops. You really should stick to three quarter sleeve length. Or a burqua.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Meike
Shipmate
# 3006
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Posted
Thank you, I do appreciate the advice of sacred old women, but I have no problem to “display my beauty” in public while I’m young.
You have the charm of a dead slug.
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“A god who let us prove his existence would be an idol” ― Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Posts: 250 | From: I like this place | Registered: Jul 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
(You're good at this! ![[Cool]](cool.gif) )
Why yes, my charm is a dead slug. It was handcrafted in a little artist commune in Skylonda, CA, which has adopted the banana slug as its spirit guide. There is a special significance to it being a dead slug (as you cleverly noticed), because this is an amulet to honor one's ancestors that have passed on to the next world. Namaste.
Good God Almighty, do you have to be so LOUD?
[ 08. May 2015, 05:16: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
At last, you heard me! Have you considered renewing your deaf aid batteries?
With feet the size of yours, I'd lay off the bright colours and floral additions.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
Thanks for the advice, but they're the same size as always. Hmmm...off-kilter size perception, colors, flowers...are you having LSD flashbacks again? Let's get you to the hospital. You don't want a repeat of last time!
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
[ 08. May 2015, 07:04: Message edited by: Golden Key ]
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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
(Sorry; forgot this part!)
When I die, I don't want you to feel guilty.
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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
Don't worry, the champagne is already chilling in the fridge, has been for years!
Does being a moral leper turn you on that much?
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Guilt masturbation rocks!
may I say how much I admire the way you cope with being unable to attract a partner?
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Meike
Shipmate
# 3006
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Posted
I am humbled by your admiration, but really, all credit goes to you: Every time I think of you, it reminds me of why I chose to stay single in the first place.
Your book is so poorly written it isn’t even worth the paper it’s printed on. You are a talentless author.
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“A god who let us prove his existence would be an idol” ― Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Posts: 250 | From: I like this place | Registered: Jul 2002
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Of course not - I prefer the blunt battleaxe approach, largely because even the most thick skinned can perceive it.
Not your pasta bake again? Pu-lease! If it even tasted of something it wouldn't be so bad, but it's so bland and slimy textured.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
Oh it was no trouble at all! I knew that someone of your age would appreciate a mild dish that wouldn't bring on too much heartburn.
Is that what you're wearing?
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Either this or au natural. So I take it your vote is for the latter?
I really like Suzie. I think I will date her after I am done with you.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
You may have to wait in line. We've got a bet on that she can't get through the other losers in under a month.
No matter how hard you try - and you are very trying - you just don't know how to get it right with the members of this department. People skills - zilch.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
Well, I appreciate you saying that. I didn't like to complain, but it's nice to know you've noticed how hard I have to work to try and lower myself to their level of incompetence.
Like to buy a chance on a comb?
[I only need think of my father in this game.]
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Thanks. Now that you no longer need one, the cat will appreciate it.
Ever thought of having your teeth checked for decomposing matter?
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Ya mama was supposed to do that this morning. I 'll let her know what a crappy job she did tonight.
How you can find anything in that desk is beyond me. It looks like a typhoon hit it.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Meike
Shipmate
# 3006
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Posted
Like Albert Einstein said: "Only a small mind keeps order, a genius overlooks the chaos"
Don't you realize that you're the only one laughing? Your jokes aren’t funny or clever and you're just embarrassing.
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“A god who let us prove his existence would be an idol” ― Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Posts: 250 | From: I like this place | Registered: Jul 2002
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
My jokes are aimed at the most intelligent person present. Sorry if they're above your head.
You are so unreliable. Don't you ever do what you've promised to do?
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Not a bit. But oh, my God, you are all over black and blue! Does this hurt? * punch*
( in honor of US Mother's Day) You'd have to be a parent to know what I am talking about.
[ 11. May 2015, 15:28: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
Have to be? Umm, I think you're overdue for a brutally honest conversation with your wife.
My ancestors were living in cities, while yours were sitting around in caves eating raw animal flesh.
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Yes, no one could call us effete city dwellers, like those who have lost touch with the realities of life. You probably thought that milk grew in cartons when you were a child. Or maybe you do still?
Your face is so boring
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
I do find it helps me to blend in with a crowd. Very useful in my very hush-hush government work.
My arse talks more sense than you do
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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Oh my goodness! Has your ass made its defense and achieved its PhD? Very impressive! :sigh: That's why I only made my BA- not enough wind in my academic sails.
You are delusional if you think you'll ever look out the windows of your own corner office.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
I certainly hope I am never offered one! I'm not a status conscious climber like some I could name!
Was the comment "Set's himself impossibly low standards, and fails to live up to them" written just for you?
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Well, if they're impossibly low, no-one could live up to them,I'm glad to say, though you've given it a good shot.
Back again? You obviously enjoy our company more than we do yours.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
The study of inferior life forms is something of a hobby of mine; I find you fascinating.
If you and I were the last two people on earth, and the existence of the human race depended on us, I still couldn't so much as bring myself to kiss you.
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
At last, something upon which we can agree.
So sorry, I can't testify that you were there that day - as a rule, I never notice you at all.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Chief of sinners
Shipmate
# 8794
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Posted
Ok hopefully being unnoticable in a room will work out for the best in court
You use up oxygen that should be reserved for someone with a personality
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If Jesus was half the revolutionary you claim, how come he is now represented by one of the most conservative, status-quo institutions on the planet?
Posts: 155 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2004
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Nice to meet you. Did I mention that I'm your new line manager?
How did I find you? Well I just followed the trace odour of unwashed feet, and here you are!
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
Well, I guess that explains your perfect resemblance to a bloodhound.
It's people like you who make me reconsider my opposition to eugenics.
[ 13. May 2015, 06:19: Message edited by: Stetson ]
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Alyosha
Shipmate
# 18395
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Posted
I'm so pleased. I thought my book 'Let us All Reconsider our Opposition to Eugenics' had gone out of print in '87 after the newspaper scandal which surrounded my private life. I have made a difference after all.
There is something deeply, deeply wrong with you.
Posts: 162 | From: UK | Registered: Apr 2015
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