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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: A BIT OF CHRISTIAN FRIENDLINESS, PLEASE?
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PRESBY DUDE
Apprentice
# 16035
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Posted
Just a brief comment, as I haven't commented on line for a year or two. One small grumble, if I may, then I'll retreat into contemplative silence.
In October, my better half and I spent two weeks in London. As we're Presbies, on our first Sunday, we attended a Church of Scotland in the Covent Garden area. The congregation was friendly and welcoming. We felt quite at home. We'd attend there again. For a small church, the music was quite good as well.
The next Sunday, we thought that an Anglican church might provide a pleasant change. As we've visited the "biggies" (Westminster Abbey and St. Paul's Cathedral) on several previous London visits, we sought out another large building but a somewhat lesser known congregation---this one, which shall remain unnamed, was in the Chelsea area.
Although the Sunday attendance was sparse indeed, almost to the point of being embarrassingly slim, nary a soul returned our hopeful smiles or spoke a solitary word to us. The usher handed us the morning service leaflet without a word, as he was busy chatting with a friend. The priest's after-service handshake was decidedly "cold fish", nor did he exchange any words with us.
Let's be blunt. The UK has a distinct problem with church attendance, by and large. Although the USA formerly did considerably better, we're also experiencing fewer regular attendees, fewer new members, and yes, less income. It's not so "popular" - whatever that means - to be a Christian these days.
What if we'd been newcomers to the Christian faith?
Such a cool reception would hardly urge us to darken the doors on the next Sunday....or any other Sunday.
I'm not one who thinks that we should hug the newcomers and bestow gifts upon them (some American churches overdo it), but some warm smiles and several members' friendly welcomes after service -whether in London or in St. Louis - would be
thoughtful and appropriate. As the old hymn says, "Blest be the tie that binds our hearts in Christian love...." (Do you sing that old warhorse in the UK?)
All right, then. I've had my say! And I suppose that one friendly church out of two isn't altogether terrible.
Posts: 22 | From: Kansas, USA | Registered: Nov 2010
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Liturgylover
Shipmate
# 15711
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Posted
As a very proud Londoner, I feel embarrassed that you received such a shameful reception. I would say though that I am certain I know which church you went to, and the experience you received there would be unlikely to be repeated elsewhere.
Central London has so many Anglican churches, for example within a mile radius of Sloane Square there are 9 Anglican churches, all bar two are well attended and have a reputation for fellowship after the service. Holy Trinity Sloane Square, for example is often standing room only.
None of this excuses what happened to you, and I hope you will return and have a more positive experience next time.
Posts: 452 | From: North London | Registered: Jun 2010
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Liturgylover
Shipmate
# 15711
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Posted
Sorry some of my reply got felled. Some of the over-provision of Anglican churches in central London sometimes lends itself to eclectic congregations, a few of whom are very insular. Most however will be welcoming and invite all to refreshments after the service.
Posts: 452 | From: North London | Registered: Jun 2010
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Tubbs
Miss Congeniality
# 440
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Posted
Oh. That’s not good. I'm sorry your experience was less than happy.
Welcomers walk a fine line. Some first time attendees want to be fussed over and chatted with. Others don’t mind normal British politeness (“Alright? The coffee is thataway"). Others want the briefest of eye contact as they scuttle into their seats and off into the night afterwards.
That said, for the person who’s handing out the service sheets etc to be more interested in chatting to a mate than doing the welcoming is a bit meh. They had one job! They could always talk to their mate later.
I can’t comment on the vicar. Some I know have the happy gift of spotting newcomers whilst others have been known to ask people who’ve been coming to the church for years if they’re new.
Tubbs
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"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am
Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
Pretty much what everybody else has said. Now that I'm a churchwarden I make a point of talking to people I haven't seen at our place before, if someone else (often the director of music, always on the lookout for likely recruits) hasn't done so first. I'd rather have the slight embarrassment of mistaking a fairly new person for a very new one, than that a newcomer should not be welcomed.
Many years ago I popped into St Margarets Westminster one snowy Sunday morning- smallish congregation, very much 'church and state' CofE- and received a welcome of understated warmth that is still a pleasure to recall.
[ 26. November 2015, 09:42: Message edited by: Albertus ]
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My beard is a testament to my masculinity and virility, and demonstrates that I am a real man. Trouble is, bits of quiche sometimes get caught in it.
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
One of my usual things is to look around at coffee hour and see if anybody's standing by themselves, esp. if looking awkward. Then I go and say good morning. I have to do this REALLY carefully, as I have face blindness, and it's just as likely to be the choir director or new pastor (!) as to be an actual visitor. So my opening gambits are really, really bland, just in case.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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bib
Shipmate
# 13074
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Posted
This is one scene of which we are all guilty, me included. Often after church I am too busy catching up with people I know rather than talking to strangers. I admit to being rather gauche socially and find it difficult to talk to people I don't know. However, when visiting a new church, I do try to go up to people and engage them in conversation but only if I can break into the closed circles that often form. All churches need to learn to be more hospitable, but there is also a responsibility on visitors to try a bit harder to engage with people.
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"My Lord, my Life, my Way, my End, accept the praise I bring"
Posts: 1307 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2007
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
I was never comfortable with it until I became churchwarden. I'm much more comfortable now introducing myself to people in my capacity as an officer of the church rather than as just 'plain old Albertus and why is he sticking his beak into this'?
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
I've stepped into churches where the fake gushing smiles have made me cringe, others where I've slipped in and out unnoticed, with nobody at all making eye contact. Both were as bad as each other.
The problem is that we're all looking for something different. When I first attended, all I wanted was to be given a service sheet and to be allowed and feel welcome to sit quietly at the back and to quickly leave with no fuss. A smile and a nod would help me to feel as if I was not intruding. Now, I would want to stay and to introduce myself, and would be disappointed if no-one was interested in meeting me.
Communication takes two. Sensitivity is paramount, but perhaps none of us are as sensitive as we could be.
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Bishops Finger
Shipmate
# 5430
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Posted
'Sensitivity is paramount' - O how true, but how difficult to achieve!
![[Votive]](graemlins/votive.gif)
for all greeters/sidespersons/churchwardens/clergy/ministers or whatever, as they try to carry out what must be one of the most difficult and thankless tasks known to Christendom....... ![[Two face]](graemlins/scot_twoface.gif)
I.
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Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)
Posts: 10151 | From: Behind The Wheel Again! | Registered: Jan 2004
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
I'm going to start a new business, selling visitor ribbons or badges to churches. There will be a basket of them by the entrance, and you choose a black one if you want to be left alone, a blue one if you want a "hello" and a friendly smile, a green one if you'd like a bit of a chat and an invitation to coffee, a yellow one if you want a hug and a chance to share your life history, etc. etc. That way everyone gets greeted in the style they prefer (and I'll make a fortune!).
![[Biased]](wink.gif)
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Al Eluia
Inquisitor
# 864
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
I'm going to start a new business, selling visitor ribbons or badges to churches. There will be a basket of them by the entrance, and you choose a black one if you want to be left alone, a blue one if you want a "hello" and a friendly smile, a green one if you'd like a bit of a chat and an invitation to coffee, a yellow one if you want a hug and a chance to share your life history, etc. etc. That way everyone gets greeted in the style they prefer (and I'll make a fortune!).
Our Welcoming Committee is working on improving our parish's process of greeting visitors and incorporating new attenders into the life of our congregation. Maybe I'll pass this idea along to them.
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Consider helping out the Anglican Seminary in El Salvador with a book or two! https://www.amazon.es/registry/wishlist/YDAZNSAWWWBT/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_ep_ws_7IRSzbD16R9RQ
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Posts: 1157 | From: Seattle | Registered: Jul 2001
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Al Eluia:
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
I'm going to start a new business, selling visitor ribbons or badges to churches. There will be a basket of them by the entrance, and you choose a black one if you want to be left alone, a blue one if you want a "hello" and a friendly smile, a green one if you'd like a bit of a chat and an invitation to coffee, a yellow one if you want a hug and a chance to share your life history, etc. etc. That way everyone gets greeted in the style they prefer (and I'll make a fortune!).
Our Welcoming Committee is working on improving our parish's process of greeting visitors and incorporating new attenders into the life of our congregation. Maybe I'll pass this idea along to them.
Be sure to send me my royalty check.
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Anselmina
Ship's barmaid
# 3032
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Posted
Some congregations do themselves a real disservice by being unwelcoming. I've known small insular congregations who are, in community life, and in church activity supportive, generous and truly Christian. But who worship-wise just seem to go through the motions and will only speak when spoken to, no matter how obvious it is that a new person is among them. In certain cases I think this is partially cultural - a reflection of eg, how close rural groups can be reserved and distant with strangers. But quite happy for others to join, participate and assimilate over time. It's just disappointing that that initial friendliness that would help that process get started can be lacking.
However, by the same token there is no guarantee that apparently warm, welcoming congregations make for a great place to find spiritual care and nourishment.
As a visitor I'd hate to be ignored completely when dropping in on a strange church. They'd have muffed their one chance to make a good impact on me. But if moving into an area and looking for a new place to go, I'd persist beyond the superficial welcome or lack of it to see what the individuals were like as time went by.
One of the most spiritually important churches to me, at a crucial time, was a 'dead' looking handful of fairly unprepossessing worshippers, who certainly did not extend much of the hand of friendship for my initial visits, as a fellow congregation member.
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Irish dogs needing homes! http://www.dogactionwelfaregroup.ie/ Greyhounds and Lurchers are shipped over to England for rehoming too!
Posts: 10002 | From: Scotland the Brave | Registered: Jul 2002
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
I am sorry to hear that you got an unwelcome response in London. As a Creamtealand resident, regular trips to the big city took me right out of my comfort zone - but I found most city centre churches very welcoming. Admittedly this was for mid-week services (perhaps Sundays are different), but I was quietly welcome, gentle questions asked about why I was there, and refreshments offered. Being a church in a big, anonymous city really is no excuse.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Gamaliel
Shipmate
# 812
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Posted
I think that a lot depends on where and when you roll up - I'm not just thinking of churches now but the UK in general ... I've known US visitors who say they've been bowled over by the hospitality they've received - particularly 'up north' or over in the west of the country ... whilst others have felt they'd received a particularly frosty welcome ...
The mileage varies.
London in general isn't noted for its friendliness, but it can offer pleasant surprises at times.
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Let us with a gladsome mind
Praise the Lord for He is kind.
http://philthebard.blogspot.com
Posts: 15997 | From: Cheshire, UK | Registered: Jul 2001
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mr cheesy
Shipmate
# 3330
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Posted
I think this happens everywhere. I once worked in Norway and attended a large city church, where nobody even acknowledged my existence.
When we lived in Coventry (English Midlands), which is generally a friendly place, for a while we regularly attended a service where people clearly knew my name but still thought other people were more interesting to talk to. If that "blanking" happens once or twice you tend to put it down to accident, but when it becomes a pattern you begin to think there is an "in-crowd" of which you are not a part.
On the other end of the scale, we once struggled to get away from a service where we felt extremely uncomfortable because the clergy-person insisted on talking at us for about 10 minutes and attempting to shoehorn life details out of us.
Sometimes people want space, want to be anonymous and do not want to chitchat. It doesn't take a whole lot of brain to see when someone feels uncomfortable being interviewed by you, in my opinion.
I'd just make the point that getting the balance right for every person can be hard. That said, there is no excuse for at very least acknowledging someone's existence - saying hello but also accepting that there might be a reason why they do not want to become fast friends with you.
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arse
Posts: 10697 | Registered: Sep 2002
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Bishops Finger
Shipmate
# 5430
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Posted
This is a thorny thicket indeed - you're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't!
If anyone asks you to be a sidesperson/greeter or whatever, they are a Visitation of Satan - FLEE!
I.
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Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)
Posts: 10151 | From: Behind The Wheel Again! | Registered: Jan 2004
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
While I tend to agree, I think that that a greeter should at least say, "Good morning" and offer a smile. After all, that's what ushers at theatres or concert-halls are trained to do, and no-one should feel that their privacy is being violated by such an interaction.
But after that it is surely a matter of the greeter gauging the response and continuing (or not) the conversation as appropriate. This definitely does need a lot of sensitivity though!
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Bishops Finger
Shipmate
# 5430
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Posted
Yes - 'Hallo - good to see you - welcome to St. Faithful-in-the-Backstreets! The service is in the pink booklet, and this is the hymnbook. Do please feel free to come up to the altar rail for Communion or a blessing, and we've coffee and cake in the Hall after Mass'.
Holy Spirit - over to you.......
I.
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Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)
Posts: 10151 | From: Behind The Wheel Again! | Registered: Jan 2004
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
You forgot the bit about asking to Gift Aid the offering envelopes ... surely the Most Important bit! ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
[ 30. November 2015, 16:54: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Bishops Finger
Shipmate
# 5430
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Posted
BT - seriously, do you think we say too much? It might not all be said at the same time, or by the same person(s).....
.....I admit I am a bit sensitive about this matter, which might mean that I try too hard...
I.
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Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)
Posts: 10151 | From: Behind The Wheel Again! | Registered: Jan 2004
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SvitlanaV2
Shipmate
# 16967
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by PRESBY DUDE:
[...]We sought out another large building but a somewhat lesser known congregation---this one, which shall remain unnamed, was in the Chelsea area.
Although the Sunday attendance was sparse indeed, almost to the point of being embarrassingly slim, nary a soul returned our hopeful smiles or spoke a solitary word to us. The usher handed us the morning service leaflet without a word, as he was busy chatting with a friend. The priest's after-service handshake was decidedly "cold fish", nor did he exchange any words with us.
Have you never received in indifferent welcome at a church in your own country?
I don't mean to excuse the response you got at that church, but church decline sometimes (not always) makes congregations insular and indifferent to the sensibilities of outsiders. It's as if the energy has just been sucked out of them. (Some churches are unfriendly for other reasons, though.)
I also think some churches in central London, if they're not popular or on the tourist circuit, simply lose interest in passing strangers.
Moreover, there's probably little expectation that a church like this, surrounded by a bunch of other more prominent churches, is going to have to entertain a 'newcomer to the Christian faith' and have to give a make or break first impression. The members probably can't remember the last time they ever felt they had anything to offer to a newcomer.
Posts: 6668 | From: UK | Registered: Feb 2012
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Bishops Finger:
BT - seriously, do you think we say too much? It might not all be said at the same time, or by the same person(s).....
Yes, I think we possibly do. Give a greeting, by all means ... and try to measure if the person wants to continue the conversation or not.
(But I have a tendency to overdo it and gabble on).
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Gamaliel
Shipmate
# 812
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Posted
Yes, I think SvitlanaV2's got it about right ...
I've not found London as unfriendly as it can be portrayed, but it's certainly not the friendliest part of the UK ... and it's probably little different in that respect than most mega-cities.
There are a whole range of factors at play, not only in church congregations but in particular districts and particular towns. My twin brother (yes, there are two of me ...) once worked in Cheltenham for 18 months. It's an attractive town, it's close to the Cotswolds, it's got a lot going for it, but he hated it. He couldn't wait to get back to our native South Wales - he found it the least friendly place he's ever been. Other people may have found it otherwise.
The Potteries (Stoke on Trent) are generally reckoned to be friendly - and I've certainly found them so (I live just outside) and I know someone from Stoke who lived and worked in London for a while. He told me that he saw the same bloke on the bus going into work for several days at a stretch, so one day he tried to engage him in conversation - as you would in the Midlands and up North - only to be asked, 'Do I fahrkin' know you?'
Not a response you'd get up here. That said, his business partner also told me of an incident he'd once witnessed on a train from Euston as it pulled into Stoke - his stop. As he was getting off the train two London businessmen were looking out of the window and commenting disparagingly and mockingly about Stoke on Trent. A 'Stokie' who was also alighting from the train overheard them, turned and without warning punched one of the Londoners full in the face. That shut him up but I'm sure it didn't endear him to 'The Five Towns' (well, there are six actually ...)
I've got to be honest, though, I wouldn't particularly expect much of a warm welcome in a London church - unless it was some kind of effusive evangelical place.
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Let us with a gladsome mind
Praise the Lord for He is kind.
http://philthebard.blogspot.com
Posts: 15997 | From: Cheshire, UK | Registered: Jul 2001
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Liturgylover
Shipmate
# 15711
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gamaliel:
Yes, I think SvitlanaV2's got it about right ...
I've not found London as unfriendly as it can be portrayed, but it's certainly not the friendliest part of the UK ... and it's probably little different in that respect than most mega-cities.
There are a whole range of factors at play, not only in church congregations but in particular districts and particular towns. My twin brother (yes, there are two of me ...) once worked in Cheltenham for 18 months. It's an attractive town, it's close to the Cotswolds, it's got a lot going for it, but he hated it. He couldn't wait to get back to our native South Wales - he found it the least friendly place he's ever been. Other people may have found it otherwise.
The Potteries (Stoke on Trent) are generally reckoned to be friendly - and I've certainly found them so (I live just outside) and I know someone from Stoke who lived and worked in London for a while. He told me that he saw the same bloke on the bus going into work for several days at a stretch, so one day he tried to engage him in conversation - as you would in the Midlands and up North - only to be asked, 'Do I fahrkin' know you?'
Not a response you'd get up here. That said, his business partner also told me of an incident he'd once witnessed on a train from Euston as it pulled into Stoke - his stop. As he was getting off the train two London businessmen were looking out of the window and commenting disparagingly and mockingly about Stoke on Trent. A 'Stokie' who was also alighting from the train overheard them, turned and without warning punched one of the Londoners full in the face. That shut him up but I'm sure it didn't endear him to 'The Five Towns' (well, there are six actually ...)
I've got to be honest, though, I wouldn't particularly expect much of a warm welcome in a London church - unless it was some kind of effusive evangelical place.
I would strongly disagree with your last paragraph - in my experience (and I am a sensitive soul!) some of the warmest welcomes I have received anywhere in the UK have been at Anglo-Catholic London churches (as many MW reports attest to). I think perhaps some central London churches with smaller congregations - though still financially secure - might fall into the category that Svitlana described above.
Whilst we compare anecdotes about friendliness, I find my neighbours and people generally in London much warmer than those in other places where I have lived - Salisbury, Leeds, Cardiff, Richmond and Derby. And in every place some welcoming congregations but equally frosty ones. I'll end by saying that in the main the congregations in London (especially in the suburbs) are more mixed (the average age is much younger) and more diverse, which I think can lend itself to a better welcome if there is a mix of people there.
Posts: 452 | From: North London | Registered: Jun 2010
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ExclamationMark
Shipmate
# 14715
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
I am sorry to hear that you got an unwelcome response in London. As a Creamtealand resident, regular trips to the big city took me right out of my comfort zone - but I found most city centre churches very welcoming. Admittedly this was for mid-week services (perhaps Sundays are different), but I was quietly welcome, gentle questions asked about why I was there, and refreshments offered. Being a church in a big, anonymous city really is no excuse.
Mind you, Creamtealand churches have their moments IME.
A few years ago, when on sabbatical, I travelled around Creamtealand visiting churches where I wasn'tr known. The welcoem I received varied from non existent, through frosty to open armed acceptance and invitations to dinner.
The worst welcoem of all was in a town chirch, suposedly reknowned for their care. Nobody but nobody in a gathering of soem 80 young people spoke to me nor did they attempt to engage me as I left.
[I didn't mention I was a minister on sabbatical in any context and in one or two places I chose to deliberately dress and present myself in such a way that might be seen as "different"].
I have to say that the frostiest was in the smaller village churches where you might expect the sight of a new face (and potential member), to be welcome at all sorts of levels.
[ 01. December 2015, 06:33: Message edited by: ExclamationMark ]
Posts: 3845 | From: A new Jerusalem | Registered: Apr 2009
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
Oh, but you bain't from round 'ere, be you...
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My beard is a testament to my masculinity and virility, and demonstrates that I am a real man. Trouble is, bits of quiche sometimes get caught in it.
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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ExclamationMark
Shipmate
# 14715
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Albertus:
Oh, but you bain't from round 'ere, be you...
But I was! And, by then I could sound enough like a local to pass muster ... goodness only knows how some churches think they're going to survive beyond the life of the last member.
Note also that this wasn't denomination specific either!
Posts: 3845 | From: A new Jerusalem | Registered: Apr 2009
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by ExclamationMark:
quote:
Originally posted by Albertus:
Oh, but you bain't from round 'ere, be you...
But I was! And, by then I could sound enough like a local to pass muster ...
Arr, you thinks so, but you bain't foolin us, comin' down here with your exogamy and your normally-spaced eyes and your fancypants Fenland-Mancunian ways...
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My beard is a testament to my masculinity and virility, and demonstrates that I am a real man. Trouble is, bits of quiche sometimes get caught in it.
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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Prester John
Shipmate
# 5502
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Posted
For the benefit of the uninitiated, Creamtealand is ..... Wales?
Posts: 884 | From: SF Bay Area | Registered: Feb 2004
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Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
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Posted
Greater Devon
i.e. with large bits of Cornwall, Somerset and Dorset included.
Jengie
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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
But you're not Joan's daughter, or Fred's son, or Tom's grandson. Or even their cousin. You're a - shock! horror! - STRANGER!! The stereotype of a country village church is that they need to know to whom you are related or else you are not really there.
Of course, it's mostly not like this. At least not now. But some people really do think that they go to churches and other groups to talk to their friends, people they know already. And they don't feel comfortable talking to someone they don't know - anywhere, not just in church.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
when my brother-in-law was the pastor of a very rural church in central Texas, we would urge us to visit at Xmas and of course go to the services. He said I was good for them. (I do not look anythhing like any resident of rural central Texas that there ever was.) I replied that to maximize mind-broadening he really should get my daughter in there, who combines all the ethnic issues with a captaincy in the US Army.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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womanspeak
Shipmate
# 15394
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Posted
While I live in the bush where everyone knows everyone else and their business, my daughter and family had moved to a northern Sydney suburb so I tried out the local Anglican church St Stephen's Normanhurst, NSW, Australia.
As I got out of my car three ladies, who were standing on the footpath and had attended the previous service greeted me. One went in to church with me and I later realised it was her second service of the day in her attempt to welcome me. Wonderful church, a great team of welcomers, great preaching and music. And a terrific long morning tea where there was plenty of time to chat and meet the clergy.
I now keep in contact via their weekly email and attend whenever I am visiting.
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from the bush
Posts: 62 | From: rural australia | Registered: Jan 2010
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Brenda Clough:
when my brother-in-law was the pastor of a very rural church in central Texas, we would urge us to visit at Xmas and of course go to the services. He said I was good for them. (I do not look anythhing like any resident of rural central Texas that there ever was.) I replied that to maximize mind-broadening he really should get my daughter in there, who combines all the ethnic issues with a captaincy in the US Army.
Actually the army connection might have made things a little simpler. If they couldn't think of anything else to say, "Thank you for your service" would give people an opportunity to show that they were Patriotic 'Mericans. And that's a feel-good thing. Then they could ignore the ethnic conundrum and concentrate on Our Brave Service Woman.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
I admit that now that I know what Father B-i-l is doing I have selected my wardrobe very carefully indeed. Last time it was a floor-length black leather coat with scarlet facings, that sips up the front. Just the right weight for central Texas at Yuletide, you understand, but the black lace stockings and motorcycle booties were a bonus.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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ExclamationMark
Shipmate
# 14715
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Albertus:
quote:
Originally posted by ExclamationMark:
quote:
Originally posted by Albertus:
Oh, but you bain't from round 'ere, be you...
But I was! And, by then I could sound enough like a local to pass muster ...
Arr, you thinks so, but you bain't foolin us, comin' down here with your exogamy and your normally-spaced eyes and your fancypants Fenland-Mancunian ways...
I be-aint Mancunian my lover or as we say in the Fens [.....]
Posts: 3845 | From: A new Jerusalem | Registered: Apr 2009
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Albertus
Shipmate
# 13356
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Posted
Apologies- now why did I think you were? Oh, I know, mixing you up with Mark-in-Manchester.
but you still bain't from round 'ere...
[ 06. December 2015, 21:04: Message edited by: Albertus ]
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My beard is a testament to my masculinity and virility, and demonstrates that I am a real man. Trouble is, bits of quiche sometimes get caught in it.
Posts: 6498 | From: Y Sowth | Registered: Jan 2008
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ExclamationMark
Shipmate
# 14715
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Albertus:
Apologies- now why did I think you were? Oh, I know, mixing you up with Mark-in-Manchester.
but you still bain't from round 'ere...
Oh I'm always from round here wherever I am.
Apology accepted (shudders at the thought of being associated with the north. Of all places. Indeed!)
Posts: 3845 | From: A new Jerusalem | Registered: Apr 2009
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
It could have been worse ... what about LONDON?
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Curiosity killed ...
Ship's Mug
# 11770
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Posted
I moved (back, after university) to a Cream-tea-Land town 10 miles away from the village where my parents live and both my paternal grandparents are buried and was regarded as an incomer. Even when the local undertaker, who'd buried both my grandparents, pointed out to some of the frostier individuals that I really was far more local and with deeper roots than them. When I dug a bit, one of my sisters had been in the same class at school with a neighbour (same secondary school catchment area).
Bless him, that undertaker did point out quite a few times that I was a local through various comments.
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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat
Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006
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ExclamationMark
Shipmate
# 14715
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Curiosity killed ...:
I moved (back, after university) to a Cream-tea-Land town 10 miles away from the village where my parents live and both my paternal grandparents are buried and was regarded as an incomer. Even when the local undertaker, who'd buried both my grandparents, pointed out to some of the frostier individuals that I really was far more local and with deeper roots than them. When I dug a bit, one of my sisters had been in the same class at school with a neighbour (same secondary school catchment area).
Bless him, that undertaker did point out quite a few times that I was a local through various comments.
Now that does sound like the little white town to me or even the bastion on the hill
Posts: 3845 | From: A new Jerusalem | Registered: Apr 2009
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Bishops Finger
Shipmate
# 5430
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Posted
Wherever it might be, who would actually want to move back to a place with a shi**y attitude like that?
![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
I.
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Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)
Posts: 10151 | From: Behind The Wheel Again! | Registered: Jan 2004
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by ExclamationMark:
Now that does sound like the little white town to me or even the bastion on the hill
I can guess where the first of those places is, but not the second.
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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