Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Hell Denizen of the Year
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Simon
Editor
# 1
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Posted
Who has the right amount of brimstone in the blood? Who is a credit to th'Infernal Regions? Which shipmate has what it takes to be called the perfect denizen of Hell? Help us find the top fiend of the year... nominate here!
When nominating on this thread, please follow the format shown in the next post. If you don't have all the info you need to complete the nomination fields, you're not yet ready to nominate. Just make a regular post asking for the help of others in finding what you're looking for.
How to find out the URL for an individual post: go to the post and find the tiny page icon which is just to the left of the date (at the top of the post). Right-click the icon (or on a Mac, control-click it) and select "copy link" from the dropdown menu. You can now paste the link URL into your nomination.
Please note: Your nomination post should simply contain your nomination and nothing else.
-------------------- Eternal memory
Posts: 3787 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2001
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Simon
Editor
# 1
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Posted
NOMINATION
I nominate: Shipmate's board name
For: Hell Denizen of the Year
Denizen's best Hell post: Insert clickable link to your favourite Hell post by the Denizen here
My reasons for nominating: Your comments in full here
-------------------- Eternal memory
Posts: 3787 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
I can't help wondering whether this hasn't got underway yet because there is such an obvious candidate. Namely: RooK.
NOMINATION
I nominate: RooK
For: Hell Denizen of the Year
Denizen's best Hell post: (where to start?) Here's one example
Reason for posting: "I'll tell you why; because most of you are tedious lemmings who insist on trying to weigh him down by throwing yourselves into his vapid maw and dogpiling on his tonsils. You're a fucking useleless lot, and I wish you would all spontaneously combust (in a controlled manner, so as to provide useful power generation)" is so much more creative than 'Do not feed the Troll' which is what most posters would have said. RooK is so comfortable in Hell it makes you wonder whether he would be at home anywhere else.
Can any of you come up with a better candidate for this illustrious award?
-------------------- Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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SeraphimSarov
Shipmate
# 4335
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Posted
yeah, Rook is a little bitch
-------------------- "For those who like that sort of thing, that is the sort of thing they like"
Posts: 2247 | From: Sacramento, California | Registered: Apr 2003
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
I certainly agree about RooK, but isn't he disqualified by his Hostliness? Or did I miss something?
-------------------- Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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Flausa
Mad Woman
# 3466
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Posted
Red carpet gown on
jedijudy, one of the rules that has been added (or tweaked) now states "that everyone, including the Hosts and Admins, can now nominate and be nominated."
Red carpet gown off
Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002
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Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
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Posted
Yeah, jj, the rules changed while you were sleeping. Literally. So nominate away!
Personally, I'd go for someone who spends a lot of involuntary time in Hell. But so many choices, so little time!
-------------------- Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
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Josephine
Orthodox Belle
# 3899
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Posted
NOMINATION
I nominate: Sine Nomine
For: Hell Denizen of the Year
Denizen's best Hell post: That's rather like trying to identify the best note in a song, or the best step in a dance. You need to see the whole to appreciate the artistry.
Reason for posting: While other Denizens choose a rusty farm implement or a sledge hammer or machete to hack and bludgeon trollish and unpleasant shipmates, Sine uses a laser scalpel. He can see the exact spot where the unpleasantness needs to be lanced in order to allow the bloated ego or the festering self-justifications drain and heal.
His posts in Hell are consistent examples of the fine art of disemboweling with courtesy, grace, and apparent humility. My maternal grandmother was a practitioner of the art. I never thought I'd ever meet her like -- but that was before I encountered Sine.
-------------------- I've written a book! Catherine's Pascha: A celebration of Easter in the Orthodox Church. It's a lovely book for children. Take a look!
Posts: 10273 | From: Pacific Northwest, USA | Registered: Jan 2003
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Simon
Editor
# 1
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Posted
Hosting
Thanks, Josephine. It would still be good to have a sample post to show what you mean, though. Can you supply one, please? Thanks!
-------------------- Eternal memory
Posts: 3787 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2001
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Josephine
Orthodox Belle
# 3899
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Posted
Okay, let's try this one, a response to his nomination in an unauthorized competition something like the Simmies:
quote: While I was hoping for ‘Ship's AARP hottie’ I suppose 'urbane' is better than nothing although it makes me feel like Clifton Webb - who is not particularly a big role model of mine. But there you go.
However...this is a subject that interests me. You can't play unless you post enough to be 'known'. So your major players are either unemployed or they are stealing time from their employer to post at work and/or come home in the evening and spend a good chunk of their leisure time online. So these major players are either thieves or have no home life or much in the way of real-life relationships that need to be nurtured. (A quick glance at the gallery may suggest why.) Yet they are seeking status and approval from other thieves and losers.
Oh well.
Just sign me... Sine Nomine ‘Thief & Loser’
Or, this one, from the same thread:
quote: Of course one person's 'destructive' can be another person's 'unrestful'. You just never quite know. You also have to consider by whom you're being 'respected' - The sheep or the goats. Being the idol of the sheep may not be everyone's goal. However it is a very comfortable place to be.
The voice crying in the wilderness is almost always unpopular. Sometimes because the voice is truly prophetic and afflicting the comfortable; sometimes because the voice is just an annoying asshole - like the drip, drip, drip of a leaky faucet.
(Of course the leaky faucets are generally convinced they are great prophets. We don't always see ourselves as others see us. I know I don't. I'm kinda scared to actually. It would be like hearing my voice on an answering machine - what a fag.)
-------------------- I've written a book! Catherine's Pascha: A celebration of Easter in the Orthodox Church. It's a lovely book for children. Take a look!
Posts: 10273 | From: Pacific Northwest, USA | Registered: Jan 2003
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Sine Nomine
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 66
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Posted
quote: It would still be good to have a sample post to show what you mean, though. Can you supply one, please?
Oh no, please. I mean I just couldn't go up against RooK for Denizen of the Year. It wouldn't be right. After all, it's his whole life.
-------------------- Precious, Precious, Sweet, Sweet Daddy...
Posts: 16639 | From: lat. 36.24/lon. 86.84 | Registered: Dec 2002
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The Bede's American Successor
Curmudgeon-in-Training
# 5042
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by SeraphimSarov: yeah, Rook is a little bitch
RooK provided the proof that he is a bitch (using my video camera). Actually, "my bitch" (at least that day) would be the correct term. But, he is at least as tall as I am, so I'm so sure about the use of the term "little."
Do you have some other knowledge of RooK?
-------------------- This was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride of wealth and food in plenty, comfort and ease, and yet she never helped the poor and the wretched.
—Ezekiel 16.49
Posts: 6079 | From: The banks of Possession Sound | Registered: Oct 2003
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
To help people with their decisions, I offer this brief but oh-so-handy guide:
In terms of posting, RooK is George Foreman, a pure puncher; brutal but not a brute, immensely strong, a man of drive, ambition, talent, intelligence, with a simple style but only fools and the ignorant see him as simplistic, a bone-breaker with every smash.
Sine is akin to Sugar Ray Leonard: Blindingly fast, a master of technique, possessed of a surgeon's precision, a poster of pure finesse, with an indomitable will concealed under an often amiable exterior. Stylish, to boot!
The two are opposite faces of the same coin, so one is not "better" than the other. They take opposite paths to achieve similar ends. [ 17. December 2008, 22:27: Message edited by: KenWritez ]
-------------------- "The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Nightlamp
Shipmate
# 266
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Posted
I think RooK has gone all fluffy bunny in the last year so for me it is Sine.
-------------------- I don't know what you are talking about so it couldn't have been that important- Nightlamp
Posts: 8442 | From: Midlands | Registered: May 2001
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RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
You're going to throw Sine in the ring with me? Way to ruin my plan to threaten to eat the competition.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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Bullfrog.
Prophetic Amphibian
# 11014
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by KenWritez: To help people with their decisions, I offer this brief but oh-so-handy guide:
In terms of posting, RooK is George Foreman, a pure puncher; brutal but not a brute, immensely strong, a man of drive, ambition, talent, intelligence, with a simple style but only fools and the ignorant see him as simplistic, a bone-breaker with every smash.
Sine is akin to Sugar Ray Leonard: Blindingly fast, a master of technique, possessed of a surgeon's precision, a poster of pure finesse, with an indomitable will concealed under an often amiable exterior. Stylish, to boot!
The two are opposite faces of the same coin, so one is not "better" than the other. They take opposite paths to achieve similar ends.
And just to complete the pattern, is there a Muhammad Ali? Surely, hell would not be the same without its dopes on ropes.
-------------------- Some say that man is the root of all evil Others say God's a drunkard for pain Me, I believe that the Garden of Eden Was burned to make way for a train. --Josh Ritter, Harrisburg
Posts: 7522 | From: Chicago | Registered: Feb 2006
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Pooks
Shipmate
# 11425
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Posted
Ken has forgotten to mention the nick-names that boxers usually adopt to strike fear into their opponents heart.
My own suggestion would be:
Sine as a sidewinder. For reasons that Ken has already stated.
Rook is more difficult to fathom. He is somewhat above the denizen of Hell, more like the Prince of Brimstone.
Any other suggestions?
Posts: 1547 | Registered: May 2006
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The Bede's American Successor
Curmudgeon-in-Training
# 5042
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by RooK: Way to ruin my plan to threaten to eat the competition.
I'm sure that could be arranged.
-------------------- This was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride of wealth and food in plenty, comfort and ease, and yet she never helped the poor and the wretched.
—Ezekiel 16.49
Posts: 6079 | From: The banks of Possession Sound | Registered: Oct 2003
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RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
No doubt, Bede. But I fear that it would lack the ghoulish ominousness I was planning, and instead more likely entail rug burns.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
In David Mamet's incredible script for the movie The Verdict, Paul Newman called James Mason "The Prince of Fucking Darkness."
Sounds RooKish to me.
-------------------- "The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by KenWritez: "The Prince of Fucking Darkness."
Which takes practice: first, there's Chatting Up Darkness - Hello Darkness my old friend - then getting it to lower its guard - through a glass darkly - and then, when it's all over, you discover the unfortunate consequences - darkling thrush. [ 18. December 2008, 11:02: Message edited by: Firenze ]
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Pooks
Shipmate
# 11425
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by KenWritez: In David Mamet's incredible script for the movie The Verdict, Paul Newman called James Mason "The Prince of Fucking Darkness."
Sounds RooKish to me.
Heh, I see that adding the 'F' word makes a difference. 'The Prince of Darkness' did come to mind for Rook, but the image of Ozzie Osbourne kept polluting the purity of that concept. Now it's fixed by simply adding one word.
Posts: 1547 | Registered: May 2006
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The Bede's American Successor
Curmudgeon-in-Training
# 5042
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by RooK: No doubt, Bede. But I fear that it would lack the ghoulish ominousness I was planning, and instead more likely entail rug burns.
Are you saying this wouldn't be ghoulish for you?
-------------------- This was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride of wealth and food in plenty, comfort and ease, and yet she never helped the poor and the wretched.
—Ezekiel 16.49
Posts: 6079 | From: The banks of Possession Sound | Registered: Oct 2003
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Nightlamp
Shipmate
# 266
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Posted
In the 'good old' days RooK found the limit to hell but in the last year he is warm and fuzzy and throws in the odd swear word for forms sake.
-------------------- I don't know what you are talking about so it couldn't have been that important- Nightlamp
Posts: 8442 | From: Midlands | Registered: May 2001
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eeGAD
Wandering Stowaway
# 4675
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Posted
When I read this category two names came to mind. RooK and Sine. Clearly this will be a tight race.
RooK's jibes in Hell make me say "Ouch!" and pity the object of his scorn, when I read them.
Sine's make me say "Ouch!" and then laugh his prey.
It's a subtle difference, and mostly depends on which flavor you prefer.
eeG
-------------------- You don't fix faith. It fixes you. - Shepherd Book
Posts: 976 | From: The Land of Mary | Registered: Jun 2003
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The Bede's American Successor
Curmudgeon-in-Training
# 5042
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by The Bede's American Successor: quote: Originally posted by RooK: No doubt, Bede. But I fear that it would lack the ghoulish ominousness I was planning, and instead more likely entail rug burns.
Are you saying this wouldn't be ghoulish for you?
Just to be clear, I was thinking of ominous use of of ice cream forks for the dessert après-dinner.
-------------------- This was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride of wealth and food in plenty, comfort and ease, and yet she never helped the poor and the wretched.
—Ezekiel 16.49
Posts: 6079 | From: The banks of Possession Sound | Registered: Oct 2003
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Nightlamp: In the 'good old' days RooK found the limit to hell but in the last year he is warm and fuzzy and throws in the odd swear word for forms sake.
and back in your day the Hosts had to walk to their boards in the snow uphill both ways, huh?
-------------------- Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Robert Armin
All licens'd fool
# 182
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Sine Nomine: quote: It would still be good to have a sample post to show what you mean, though. Can you supply one, please?
Oh no, please. I mean I just couldn't go up against RooK for Denizen of the Year. It wouldn't be right. After all, it's his whole life.
This alone justifies Sine's nomination.
-------------------- Keeping fit was an obsession with Fr Moity .... He did chin ups in the vestry, calisthenics in the pulpit, and had developed a series of Tai-Chi exercises to correspond with ritual movements of the Mass. The Antipope Robert Rankin
Posts: 8927 | From: In the pack | Registered: May 2001
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Nightlamp
Shipmate
# 266
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by comet: quote: Originally posted by Nightlamp: In the 'good old' days RooK found the limit to hell but in the last year he is warm and fuzzy and throws in the odd swear word for forms sake.
and back in your day the Hosts had to walk to their boards in the snow uphill both ways, huh?
Very true except the snow was 2 metres deep. [ 18. December 2008, 19:48: Message edited by: Nightlamp ]
-------------------- I don't know what you are talking about so it couldn't have been that important- Nightlamp
Posts: 8442 | From: Midlands | Registered: May 2001
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
Rook has mellowed with marriage.
Sine seems to channel Oscar Wilde, (but without the wife, kids and rent boys).
I would support Sine for this one, but I think he maybe a shoe-in for wit of the year too.
Which makes makes me wonder about another nominee entirely, I give you ....
-------------------- All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
NOMINATION
I nominate: Gort
For: Hell Denizen of the Year
Denizen's best Hell post: Properly hellish prophecy of doom.
My reason's for nominating: For his 204 posts currently in Hell. He is a true denizen, as you know he will always be in the pit, like the house robots on Robotwars - stray into his territory and you'll know about it. He does wit, scathing and bizarre anecdotiness, he's our very own Bender.
-------------------- All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
Oh my! Thank you very much! I can't believe you went to all that trouble!
I'd like to thank all the little people in Hell who have made it possible for this august nomination - but they don't deserve the recognition.
-------------------- --Formerly: Gort--
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
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RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Nightlamp: In the 'good old' days RooK found the limit to hell but in the last year he is warm and fuzzy and throws in the odd swear word for forms sake.
You know, being forced to apologize to the whole board isn't as much fun as you make it sound. And these laurels are damn comfy, too.
But it is probably true that my impending fatherhood is thinning the venom in my fangs. Maybe that will change once I'm lacking sleep and changing diapers and looking for ways to vent.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
OMG. There's to be a Spawn of RooK? Congratulations, but don't think you can play the sympathy card to win votes. One must remain hardcore to be worthy.
-------------------- --Formerly: Gort--
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Congrats, RooK!
Be sure when you feed, burp, and change diapers, also remember to trim his tiny claws.
-------------------- "Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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leo
Shipmate
# 1458
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Gort: OMG. There's to be a Spawn of RooK? Congratulations, but don't think you can play the sympathy card to win votes. One must remain hardcore to be worthy.
Just don't call it 'Spawn' - it has certain connotations with a well-known shipmate.
Posts: 23198 | From: Bristol | Registered: Oct 2001
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RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Gort: One must remain hardcore to be worthy.
So you're saying that it would be bad to admit that we've nicknamed it "the Peanut"?
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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The Bede's American Successor
Curmudgeon-in-Training
# 5042
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by RooK: quote: Originally posted by Gort: One must remain hardcore to be worthy.
So you're saying that it would be bad to admit that we've nicknamed it "the Peanut"?
Not if you are planning on visiting the elephants at the zoo.
It does mean the baby shower needs to be here.
-------------------- This was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride of wealth and food in plenty, comfort and ease, and yet she never helped the poor and the wretched.
—Ezekiel 16.49
Posts: 6079 | From: The banks of Possession Sound | Registered: Oct 2003
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Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by RooK: So you're saying that it would be bad to admit that we've nicknamed it "the Peanut"?
No, no! That would certainly win the hearts and minds of those who avoid Hell.
["Peanut Castle" *teehee*]
-------------------- --Formerly: Gort--
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
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Loquacious beachcomber
Shipmate
# 8783
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Posted
Peanut RooK Swampcreature, I baptize you in the name of... Nope. Doesn't work for me!
-------------------- TODAY'S SPECIAL - AND SO ARE YOU (Sign on beachfront fish & chips shop)
Posts: 5954 | From: Southeast of Wawa, between the beach and the hiking trail.. | Registered: Nov 2004
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Patrick the less saintly
Shipmate
# 14355
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Posted
Although it will come as no surprise to any, I nominate Dos for Hell denizen of the year
My justification for this is clearly written out here in Black and White and in all other posts.
I know that this is encouraging him, but he clearly deserves it for his amusing bigotry and creative veracity. Not to mention his ec cen tric f ormating.
-------------------- '[Your religion consists of] antiquarian culturally refined pseudo-Anglicanism'— Triple Tiara
Posts: 1802 | From: London | Registered: Dec 2008
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Nightlamp
Shipmate
# 266
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by RooK: Maybe that will change once I'm lacking sleep and changing diapers and looking for ways to vent.
I could imagine that since it happened to me. I found venting in hell far more helpful than venting in real life.
-------------------- I don't know what you are talking about so it couldn't have been that important- Nightlamp
Posts: 8442 | From: Midlands | Registered: May 2001
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Geneviève
Mother-Hatting Cat Lover
# 9098
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Posted
Patrick, please! DoS is a snotnosed kindergartner in comparison to the talents of RooK and Sine.
-------------------- "Ineffable" defined: "I cannot and will not be effed with." (Courtesy of CCTooSweet in Running the Books)
Posts: 4336 | From: Eastern US | Registered: Feb 2005
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Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
Not into that "forgiveness" thing, Geneviève?
Patrick's only been here just this month.
-------------------- --Formerly: Gort--
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
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Geneviève
Mother-Hatting Cat Lover
# 9098
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Posted
Nothing to do with forgiveness, sweetie! DoS just isn't in the class of the other two contestants.
ETA: oops , I had gotten so focused on the funny posts about the two of them that I left you out. DoS is not up to your class either. You are way ahead of him as well. [ 20. December 2008, 18:05: Message edited by: Geneviève ]
-------------------- "Ineffable" defined: "I cannot and will not be effed with." (Courtesy of CCTooSweet in Running the Books)
Posts: 4336 | From: Eastern US | Registered: Feb 2005
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