Ship of Fools: VOTE! Best Putdown

Thread: VOTE! Best Putdown Board: The Simmies 2009 / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Simon (# 1) on :

Here are the nominations for Best Putdown, with seven glorious putdowns in all. Please read the putdowns and nominations by reading the post below... and then vote for your choice.

Posted by Simon (# 1) on :

Here are the nominations, in alphabetical order, for Best Putdown.

1. dj_ordinaire

Putdown: Click here to read

Posted on the thread: Children and what to do with them (Ecclesiantics)

Nominated by Spike: "dj_o has a way with words at the best of times anyway, but this one really made me laugh."

2. Doublethink

Putdown: Click here to read

Posted on the thread: Belle Ringer's Church (Hell)

Nominated by Hart: "For saying what many were thinking in a much more subtly and cunnily passive aggressive way than I ever thought possible. I'm not sure Belle even realized she was being insulted."

3. Firenze

Putdown: "The woman that reared you would drown nothing."

Posted on the thread: You're all Asshats, the lot of you (Hell)

Nominated by Moo: "It is very clear and succinct and so completely dismissive."

4. Moo

Putdown: Click here to read

Posted on the thread: Sad Cunts (Hell)

Nominated by Geneviève: "Moo always uses language precisely and in most cases graciously. Here, however, her response to a regrettable OP is a masterpiece, and without stooping to the crude language of the OP'er."

5. Presleyterian

Putdown: "Having the discretion to leave a thought, opinion, or complaint unexpressed isn't a concept I'd expect you to grasp."

Posted on the thread: Golden Asshat (Hell)

Nominated by Flausa: "This putdown is timeless, succinct, and expresses an acute knowledge of the opposing poster while being adaptable to a wider target range. Besides which, Presleyterian is probably the only Shipmate whose posting abilities would encourage me to read all her posts again. She can say in less than 2500 posts what it can take others 10000+ much less elegant posts to say. My posts want to be her posts when they grow up."

6. Spiffy

Putdown: "You are so clueless, you are standing in the Conservatory holding a Lead Pipe and wondering what all the shouting is about."

Posted on the thread: This is science? (Hell)

Nominated by Sandemaniac: "Succinct, pithy, funny and utterly appropriate. I can see I'm going to have to keep an eye on her."

7. Zappa

Putdown: "When you kick Jesus off the Right Hand of the Father™, would you whisper a prayer in the ear of the Creator for those of us less perfect than your self?"

Posted on the thread: Sir Pellinore (Hell)

Nominated by kingsfold: "It's elegant, it's sarcastic, it's subtle but not too subtle... what more do you need?"

Posted by Flausa (# 3466) on :

Flausa approaches the podium led by her bump draped beautifully in blue.

What makes for the perfect putdown? There must be humour that is edged with a razor and wielded by a quick mind. It's certainly no good to come up with that witty rejoinder two hours too late. So which among our nominees has managed the right combination. I will leave you waiting in anticipation of the arrival of my co-presenter who knows something about sharp blades ... our favourite bunny with an axe!

Over to you Kelly, my dear.

[pah! practice this speech and still flubbed my lines]

[ 01. February 2009, 16:23: Message edited by: Flausa ]

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

(Kelly has paid off nephew's horn band to make her entrance )

(Walks to podium,gives deep sigh, and clutches envelope to breast)

Something tells me that opening this envelope will give me such pleasure. Don't ask me why. There is just a warm, golden glow emanating from the envelope as of something richly deserved.

Anyway..

Riiip

And the winner is...

SPIFFY!! the artist formerly known as Wondersheep!

(Bounces and shrieks a la Natalie Portman.)

[ 01. February 2009, 16:33: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]

Posted by Janine (# 3337) on :

<... thinks, yeesh, girl, I'm glad the Axe of Bunniness somewhat covers the Cleavage of Bouncing... otherwise fellas would not hear the winner's speech over their drooling...>

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

(Why thank you, Janine.)

Posted by Gort (# 6855) on :

OMG! Spiffy has won TWO awards! Way to go, girl! WooHOOO! [Cool]

Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on :

With some effort, Doublethink holds her emotions in check.

Posted by Mamacita (# 3659) on :

Hooray for Spiffy, whose rapier wit has made me snort my coffee on many an occasion.

Posted by Spiffy (# 5267) on :

How the hell did I win?!?

I mean, thanks and all, but... wow. This I did not expect.

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

Couldn't be happier. Spif. You have the gift of coming up with that killer shot that leaves the victim gigging unwillingly.

Posted by Zappa (# 8433) on :

Zappa ... skulks off, sulking. Cries in corner. Finds tall bridge. Struggles ... starving wife .. eight kids... two dogs ... dependent fish ...

Oh bugger it! Pooze happen

Well done Spiff - a deserved gong!

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