Source: (consider it)
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Thread: A problem in the convent
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Simon
![](http://forum.shipoffools.com/custom_avatars/0001.gif) Editor
# 1
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Posted
This joke submitted by KenWritez:
Mother Superior calls all the nuns together and says to them: "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
"Thank God," says an elderly nun at the back of the room, "I'm so tired of Chardonnay."
Poll information
This poll contains 2 question(s). 147 user(s) have voted. You can't view the results of this poll without voting.
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-------------------- Eternal memory
Posts: 3787 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2001
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Auntie Doris
![](http://forum.shipoffools.com/custom_avatars/9433.gif) Screen Goddess
# 9433
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Posted
At least I laughed at that one!
Auntie Doris x
-------------------- "And you don't get to pronounce that I am not a Christian. Nope. Not in your remit nor power." - iGeek in response to a gay-hater :)
The life and times of a Guernsey cow
Posts: 6019 | From: The Rock at the Centre of the Universe | Registered: May 2005
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The Scrumpmeister
Ship’s Taverner
# 5638
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Posted
I know people like that.
-------------------- If Christ is not fully human, humankind is not fully saved. - St John of Saint-Denis
Posts: 14741 | From: Greater Manchester, UK | Registered: Mar 2004
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Triple Tiara
![](http://forum.shipoffools.com/custom_avatars/9556.jpg) Ship's Papabile
# 9556
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Posted
Very very funny - I received that on a birthday card this year and nearly wet myself laughing
-------------------- I'm a Roman. You may call me Caligula.
Posts: 5905 | From: London, England | Registered: May 2005
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El Greco
Shipmate
# 9313
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Posted
What's "Chardonnay"??? [ 05. July 2005, 14:39: Message edited by: andreas1984 ]
-------------------- Ξέρω εγώ κάτι που μπορούσε, Καίσαρ, να σας σώσει.
Posts: 11285 | Registered: Apr 2005
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The Scrumpmeister
Ship’s Taverner
# 5638
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Posted
.
-------------------- If Christ is not fully human, humankind is not fully saved. - St John of Saint-Denis
Posts: 14741 | From: Greater Manchester, UK | Registered: Mar 2004
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El Greco
Shipmate
# 9313
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Posted
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
-------------------- Ξέρω εγώ κάτι που μπορούσε, Καίσαρ, να σας σώσει.
Posts: 11285 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Alicïa
Shipmate
# 7668
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Posted
yes I found this one very funny!
-------------------- "The tendency to turn human judgments into divine commands makes religion one of the most dangerous forces in the world." Georgia Elma Harkness
Posts: 884 | From: Where the Art is. | Registered: Jun 2004
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Foolhearty
Shipmate
# 6196
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Posted
I love jokes like this, which turn on someone's innocence.
-------------------- Fear doesn't empty tomorrow of its perils; it empties today of its power.
Posts: 2301 | From: Upper right-hand corner | Registered: May 2004
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
I didn't find it funny. It was the suggestion that nuns screw around enough to get VD. Over and over again you find nuns as the butt of jokes that are predominantly sexual in nature. It seems to be pretty much the only thing anyone ever focuses on when it comes to talking about them in a humorous way - celibacy and the idea that nuns are all gagging for it really.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Boreal
Shipmate
# 9550
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Posted
I posted this on the other thread, but the reason why nuns and priests come up so often in this kind of joke is that they're well known to be celibate. Or supposed to be. Humor's found when something doesn't add up. Basically, the nunneries and monestaries are the only place where you'll find a convenient group of celibates who are celibate for their entire lives because they WANT to be.
And the joke isn't that ALL nuns screw around enough to get the clap - it is that someone did.
-------------------- I think that God, in creating Man, somewhat overestimated His abilities. - Oscar Wilde
Posts: 376 | From: Deepest, eastest Maine. | Registered: May 2005
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Newman's Own
Shipmate
# 420
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Posted
I did not find it offensive (I know lots of people, not only nuns, who could get confused over a meaning of words), but have to admit I don't find it especially funny.
Of course, this same joke (as a conversation between daughter and mother, not in a convent - ending was 'give it to your father, he'll drink anything') was old when I first heard it during the 1960s.
-------------------- Cheers, Elizabeth “History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn
Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001
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John Donne
![](http://forum.shipoffools.com/custom_avatars/0220.jpg) Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
I liked it - in my appreciation of it sidestepped the implication of lack of chastity in the convent and focussed on the: "Thank God," says an elderly nun at the back of the room, "I'm so tired of Chardonnay."
The disjunction between my image of a holy pious nun and this elderly, jaded, decadent old sot, really tickled me. She sounds quite good fun
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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Zeke
Ship's Inquirer
# 3271
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Posted
I really laughed hard at this one and am trying to analyze why. Perhaps it's the juxtaposition of a naughty nun, the embarrassment of the mother superior and the naivete of the elderly nun. I don't see her as jaded, just innocent and confused.
-------------------- No longer the Bishop of Durham ----------- If men are so wicked with religion, what would they be without it? --Benjamin Franklin
Posts: 5259 | From: Deep in the American desert | Registered: Sep 2002
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Chapelhead*
![](http://ship-of-fools.com/UBB/custom_avatars/chapelhead.gif) Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
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Posted
I saw it as being about the innocence of the elderly nun, and so didn’t find it offensive at all. [ 09. July 2005, 15:46: Message edited by: Chapelhead ]
-------------------- Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
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Traveller
Shipmate
# 1943
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Posted
This one is older than the nun making the comment!
[edited to remove "m" and add "n"] [ 09. July 2005, 19:25: Message edited by: Pyx_e ]
-------------------- I will sing unto the Lord as long as I live: I will praise my God while I have my being. Psalm 104 v.33
Posts: 1037 | From: Wherever the car has stopped at the moment! | Registered: Dec 2001
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Zeke: I really laughed hard at this one and am trying to analyze why. Perhaps it's the juxtaposition of a naughty nun, the embarrassment of the mother superior and the naivete of the elderly nun. I don't see her as jaded, just innocent and confused.
Deafness and daftness are always funny!
-------------------- If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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themanwiththegingerhair
Apprentice
# 9691
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Posted
Very funny and not a bit offensive.
I hadn't heard it before so it was really unexpected until the very last word which hit me from nowhere.
Posts: 28 | From: Birmingham | Registered: Jul 2005
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Pyx_e
![](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KkxesBwEdMs/TeKzPaQq0XI/AAAAAAAAARM/XcXw-qhwyzw/s320/TB%2Bav.jpg) Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
Hosting
Please could we make the content of our posts a little more insightful and encouraging of debate? The voting system is there for you to register your opinion on a couple of issues. The board is here for discussion.
Pyx_e
Hosting
-------------------- It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Orb
![](http://ship-of-fools.com/UBB/custom_avatars/3256.jpg) Eye eye Cap'n!
# 3256
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Posted
I don't find this type of thing funny in the slightest because it just makes fun of someone's idiocy. And obviously, because she's a nun, you shouldn't call her an idiot. Because that's Bad and Wrong.
Offensive? Ha!
-------------------- “You cannot buy the revolution. You cannot make the revolution. You can only be the revolution. It is in your spirit, or it is nowhere.” Ursula K. Le Guin, The Dispossessed
Posts: 5032 | From: Easton, Bristol | Registered: Aug 2002
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Old Bamber
Apprentice
# 10459
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Posted
It's not that the nun is an idiot that makes it funny but the thought that an adult could be unaware of what gonnorhea is. That is about innocence and there is a stereotype that rth#e religious are innocent. However we don't expect nuns to be connoiseurs of wine so there is a contrast bewwen the innocence about gonnorhea and the knowledge about wine and it is this juxtaposition which makes it amusing. The fact that it is about sex in a place where there is not supposed to be sex gives it an edge...
-------------------- Philosphers have interpreted the world, our job is to change it.
Posts: 1 | From: North Yorkshire | Registered: Sep 2005
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Scooby-Doo
Shipmate
# 9822
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Posted
This one made me seriously belly laugh. But I suspect that says more about me than the joke.
-------------------- Friendships multiply joy and divide grief.
[URL=http://https://[/URL]
Posts: 1036 | From: Dorset | Registered: Jul 2005
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DaveF
Apprentice
# 10538
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Posted
I agree that it is nice to have innocence as the joke rather than the opposite. In fact it relies on the audience expecting something smutty and so gets one back for the nuns ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
-------------------- DaveF
Posts: 5 | From: Uk | Registered: Oct 2005
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