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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Swearing and parenting
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Leaf
Shipmate
# 14169
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
I have questions for parents: What are your thoughts about other adults who swear in the presence of your children? How far do you expect other adults to sanitize their speech?
<snip> I have supported my friend's choice by not using any words she considers objectionable in front of her child. But I do think it's overkill, and my patience with the self-censorship won't last forever. <snip>
Depends on your relationship with the child's mother, and how far apart you can be on this axis and still remain in relationship.
It occurred to me that this is an axis - the "prudishness-vulgarity" axis - rather like the "sloppiness-fussiness" axis in grammar or housekeeping. You land at a different place on the axis than your friend. Fine. How do you deal with that?
If your relationship is pretty flexible, you can withstand being far apart on this. She accepts your cussin'; you accept her preference for euphemism.
But ISTM there can be a dangerous sense of *superiority* at either end of the spectrum. I think that's the thing to look out for.
Posts: 2786 | From: the electrical field | Registered: Oct 2008
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Alogon
Cabin boy emeritus
# 5513
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Posted
Lots of good thoughts here-- I guess I particularly agree with what Long Ranger and Ingo said.
The commandment about taking the Lord's name in vain is about perjury. To claim that it is about letting slip an occasional thoughtless vulgarity in the grip of emotion were to trivialize it out of recognition. It's too important to let that happen.
Cussing should be discouraged as bad manners and an offense against language as God's gift. It's usually so unoriginal. If you're going to cuss, at least try to be as creative as the proverbial sailor ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
Sometimes children will "swear" in front of you quite deliberately to see what they can get away with. (Speaking as a former child who tried out a bit of vocabulary overheard in the playground around age 5 and was paddled almost before the word was out of my mouth.)
I was rather taken aback once when one of the sweetest ten-year-olds I'd ever known said "pissed-off" as casually as though it were standard English. Not quite (IMHO). I didn't think it was my place to comment, but someone with a bit of authority over him should explain gently that he doesn't do himself a favor using the phrase so unthinkingly.
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Patriarchy (n.): A belief in original sin unaccompanied by a belief in God.
Posts: 7808 | From: West Chester PA | Registered: Feb 2004
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tclune
Shipmate
# 7959
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Alogon:
The commandment about taking the Lord's name in vain is about perjury.
No, the commandment about not bearing false witness is about perjury. The commandment about taking the Lord's name in vain is about piety. Or so ISTM.
--Tom Clune
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Posts: 8013 | From: Western MA | Registered: Jul 2004
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Alogon
Cabin boy emeritus
# 5513
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Posted
I'd go with what the Jews think it is, since it was given to them. According to this we're both correct. "This includes prohibitions against perjury, breaking or delaying the performance of vows or promises, and speaking G-d's name or swearing unnecessarily."
But clearly, I can lie under oath without accusing anyone else of anything, and I can bear false witness against a neighbor just as harmfully with idle gossip as in court. An element of malice is in the essence of the latter. I see a clear distinction.
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Patriarchy (n.): A belief in original sin unaccompanied by a belief in God.
Posts: 7808 | From: West Chester PA | Registered: Feb 2004
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mdijon
Shipmate
# 8520
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Alogon:
I'd go with what the Jews think it is, since it was given to them.
I wonder about extending that reasoning to our views of Jesus?
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mdijon nojidm uoɿıqɯ ɯqıɿou
ɯqıɿou uoɿıqɯ nojidm mdijon
Posts: 12277 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2004
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Moth
Shipmate
# 2589
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Posted
Last year we had the son of a German friend come to stay with us at the end of his year abroad at a Welsh university. He had picked up colloquial English from his fellow students, and this included quite a lot of swearing.
I do occasionally swear myself, but within the family swearing is relatively uncommon. Both my sons (now adult) probably swear like troopers when I'm not around, but modify their language for family use.
We got younger son to have a quiet word with the German lad about suitable vocabulary to use with friends of your parents rather than fellow students! It worked very well, and son claimed he had been ' all the subtle' in getting the message across without embarrassing our guest.
I think any young person is going to swear if that's what their friends do, but they can adopt different language codes for different situations easily enough. Mine will swear occasionally in front of me ( though not at me) but never in front of their grandparents.
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"There are governments that burn books, and then there are those that sell the libraries and shut the universities to anyone who can't pay for a key." Laurie Penny.
Posts: 3446 | From: England | Registered: Apr 2002
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