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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: 2012: Annus horriblis or not?
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Galloping Granny
Shipmate
# 13814
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Posted
It’s true that telling yourself that “hundreds are worse off” might help; telling someone else doesn’t. It’s like responding to our appalling child poverty situation (kids with no shoes, no raincoat, no breakfast and packet of crisps for lunch) by saying that they’re still better off than thousands of kids in third world countries.
As for our year – of course it was a mixture. The Grandad had an emergency operation which was touch-and-go, and has learned to live with an ostomy bag, but the health service has looked after us wonderfully. He’s younger than me, but I’ve reached 80 with everything still working though not as well as in my youth; I’ve taken myself off the Sunday morning tea roster, but I can still bake for the young mums, produce the church magazine, take an occasional church service, and sell jellies and marmalade for Christian World Service. We had two weeks with the beautiful grandchildren visiting from Canada, and can still drive the 600km in one day between Matarangi and the city.
This is not meant to sound like a gloat, only as a reminder that bad times (and we’ve had some serious ones in the past) can give way to good ones, and that is my hope for shipmates who are facing a really grim outlook: that 2013 will bring improvements of all kinds, and that this time next year you will have some bright events to look back on.
For all those who've had an annus horribilis:
![[Votive]](graemlins/votive.gif)
GG
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The Kingdom of Heaven is spread upon the earth, and men do not see it. Gospel of Thomas, 113
Posts: 2629 | From: Matarangi | Registered: Jun 2008
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Yorick
Infinite Jester
# 12169
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Posted
Thank you, GG, for your kind and helpful post.
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این نیز بگذرد
Posts: 7574 | From: Natural Sources | Registered: Dec 2006
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anoesis
Shipmate
# 14189
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Posted
In some ways, I guess 2011 was my annus horribilus - it was the year in which my father died - suddenly and without getting to say goodbye, but it was also the year in which my son was born. 2012 has probably been worse in many ways, as the ramifications of my Dad's absence have continued to make themselves felt - those ripples keep spreading, and in addition to that my son's health is not as good as it could be and that has been an ongoing worry. Going back to work as a parent of two has been more than twice as hard as doing it as a parent of one - I am not only tired but demoralised. Then just over a month ago I found myself, on an ordinary Sunday afternoon at home, in the midst of total insanity, and a few minutes later was supporting the lifeless body of my neighbour while a man I barely knew cut the rope that he was hanging from and some other neighbours attempted to comfort/restrain his...partner?ex?friend?housemate? (depending on whose version of events you listen to). It's the oddest thing - a situation I profoundly hope never to have to repeat, EVER, in my life, and a situation I would not hesitate to offer help in, should it recur. Weird. As life is.
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The history of humanity give one little hope that strength left to its own devices won't be abused. Indeed, it gives one little ground to think that strength would continue to exist if it were not abused. -- Dafyd --
Posts: 993 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Oct 2008
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bib
Shipmate
# 13074
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Posted
I guess that 2012 was a pretty traumatic year. I had a cancer recurrence which necessitated fairly major surgery and treatments. I have decided, despite returning to work, to retire at Easter. The bright occurence of the year was the birth of a beautiful little granddaughter in March who makes me smile and feel that life is worth living.
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"My Lord, my Life, my Way, my End, accept the praise I bring"
Posts: 1307 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2007
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Rosa Winkel
Saint Anger round my neck
# 11424
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Posted
Hope 2013 goes healthier for you
A rise in fascism here in Poland and a scum government in GB (though I know that the "I'm alright Jack" mentality means that not everyone will agree with that) were not signs of a good year.
On the other hand, I did a project on bird and human migration in Georgia, and I as well as many others are becoming more aware of the nature of problems that we have in the world (for example, the Occupy movement which, though it tends to oversimplification of things does make people at least think) that I have some kind of hope.
Saying that, here in Poland it's strangely warm. When I first moved here in 2006 snow came in November and stayed till March. Now we had some for a week in early December and that's it. It's now +6 and raining outside. I believe most people to be only concerned about immediate issues, so don't expect global warming to be effectively fought off.
[ 03. January 2013, 10:27: Message edited by: Rosa Winkel ]
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The Disability and Jesus "Locked out for Lent" project
Posts: 3271 | From: Wrocław | Registered: May 2006
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rolyn
Shipmate
# 16840
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Posted
Not sure if Annus 2012 was necessarily any more horriblis than any other Annus .
Things happen, things don't happen . Once you've seen one Annus you've seen them all really.
As for "Cheer up, things could be worse". Personally I've always found this to be an effective antidote to self-pity.
Others may disagree.
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Change is the only certainty of existence
Posts: 3206 | From: U.K. | Registered: Dec 2011
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Organ Builder
Shipmate
# 12478
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Posted
I suppose 2012 was like most years--it could have been worse, but it could certainly have been better, especially in the last quarter.
Within a month my partner and I were both in car accidents. Mine was quite severe, though I was extremely lucky. I didn't have to spend the night in the hospital, but I have two new scars and a fractured sinus. There is a big chunk of memory missing, so I remember nothing about the accident. My partner's was a major fender-bender, and not his fault--but following so closely on my own led to a lot of emotional turmoil when I first got the call!
2013 will have its own challenges, too. My partner will have cataract surgery in a few weeks, and I will have a knee replaced in April. My ENT wants to do surgery as well... So there will be a lot of medicine practiced on us, but at the end of it all there ought to be better vision, better breathing, and significantly less pain. I'm reaching an age where I prefer quiet, routine-filled years to more dynamic years. I'd prefer to get my excitement from traveling or reading a book.
I also hope Shipmates who've had a burdensome year find next year to be better.
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How desperately difficult it is to be honest with oneself. It is much easier to be honest with other people.--E.F. Benson
Posts: 3337 | From: ...somewhere in between 40 and death... | Registered: Mar 2007
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drnick
Shipmate
# 16065
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Posted
Well, I guess 2012 was something of a curate's egg for me. On the negative side my father died at the start of he year, one of the most genuinely traumatic experiences I've known. But it was the year I finally took a decision I had put off for a long time and started a process which, if all goes well, will lead to me being ordained.
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"Christians like you are why God invented lions" Pagan Wanderer Lu.
Posts: 58 | From: Manchester, UK | Registered: Dec 2010
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Oscar the Grouch
Adopted Cascadian
# 1916
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Posted
On a very personal basis, 2012 was a good year. I had a wonderful 2 months in Canada and loved every moment. In addition, a good friendship has blossomed and given me huge amounts of strength, laughter and encouragement, just when I needed it most.
BUT....
2012 was the year I became terminally (possibly) sick to death of my "employers" - the C of E. The way that the appointment of the new ABC was used as an opportunity for some people "in the know" to clean up at the bookies; the utter nonsense about the GS vote on women bishops; the continuing way that the C of E shoots itself in the foot over homosexuality; and the "revelations" about the utterly dysfunctional Diocese of Chichester and the way it harboured paedophiles.....
I could go on. I have ended the year sick to my depths of my stomach at the organisation I "represent". I am ashamed of almost everything it deigns to say in public. I despair of the way that vested interests dictate commonsense and decency. I no longer believe that the C of E can ever break free from its "old boy" network and upper-middle class snobbery. I am starting to despise the whole, rotten, corrupt shambles of an inept organisation. This is not healthy. But if I walk away now, I end up homeless and with no job and a piss-poor pension.
I'm still trying to work out what my next move should be. The status quo hardly seems appropriate.
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Faradiu, dundeibáwa weyu lárigi weyu
Posts: 3871 | From: Gamma Quadrant, just to the left of Galifrey | Registered: Dec 2001
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Galloping Granny
Shipmate
# 13814
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Posted
Oscar, you and Richard Holloway...
May you find a right path
GG
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The Kingdom of Heaven is spread upon the earth, and men do not see it. Gospel of Thomas, 113
Posts: 2629 | From: Matarangi | Registered: Jun 2008
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ToujoursDan
Ship's prole
# 10578
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Posted
2012 was certainly the annus horriblis for my parish. In late July, an intense lightning strike caused part of our parish's tower to collapse killing the New York Assistant State Attorney General who happened to be walking along the sidewalk at the wrong time. The collapse pierced the roof of the main building and put a campervan-sized hole in the floor.
It has led to the closing of the building by the city, which has declared it unsafe. The parish has been worshipping at the Conservative Jewish synagogue nearby. The parish day school is using a space at a nearby Roman Catholic Church.
The "good" news is that the damage is almost entirely covered by insurance (though we'll have to raise some a couple million dollars), but the New York City Buildings Department will not let us rebuild the tower the way it was (as it was built using 19th Century techniques and was unreinforced) which puts it in conflict with the City, State and Federal Landmarks Department who insist the building must be rebuilt at it was. We are waiting until all the agencies sort it out. We are also waiting for engineers to determine whether the tower collapse has compromised the sanctuary's walls as well.
To slow things down a bit further, New York City experienced a devastating hurricane at the end of October and the city's (and Diocesan) resources have been stretched even further to cover all the damage the the area inflicted. So surveys, testing and plans that may have taken weeks to complete are now taking months.
We're in a holding pattern at the moment. We can't get into our parish house to even retrieve things like hymnals, silver, Books of Common Prayer, etc. We have to plan our worship and activities around the activities of our host synagogue and worship in a space that is ill suited for holding mass.
At the same time we've greatly improved our relationship with our religious neighbours who have been very hospitable. Still, the strain on parents, teachers, our principal, the Vestry, the clergy and parishioners has been high.
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"Many people say I embarrass them with my humility" - Archbishop Peter Akinola
Facebook link: http://www.facebook.com/toujoursdan
Posts: 3734 | From: NYC | Registered: Oct 2005
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Galloping Granny
Shipmate
# 13814
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Posted
Dan, your story would resonate all over New Zealand, and not just in Christchurch, facing your problems in a zillion different ways since those huge earthquakes.
Everywhere else in the country, buildings are being checked for earthquake safety compliance. Our brick 1957 church in Wellington was closed in September (?) as being only 12% safe (minimum allowed is 34%). We moved into the old wooden church and were told to get out of there as its compliance level is still not good enough.
So we worship at a nearby Presbyterian school, another Presy parish has found office space for the minister & secretary, the local Anglicans have offered their hall for our weekly pre-school music & movement, and in a spirit of 'the church is the people, not the building', the people are studying, talking, praying, and working through possible ways ahead.
Our minister comforted us in the last newsletter by listing all the nearby parishes in the same pickle.
Public buildings of all kinds are affected in the same way, and wait till they get started on private houses.
Insurance premiums have sky-rocketed; most churches this year have not insured their buildings.
I wrote above of our personal year. Didn't mention the parish one – it's so bizarre that I didn't think to. And we are, on the whole, being as positive as we can. What is God telling us??
GG
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The Kingdom of Heaven is spread upon the earth, and men do not see it. Gospel of Thomas, 113
Posts: 2629 | From: Matarangi | Registered: Jun 2008
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To The Pain
Shipmate
# 12235
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Posted
As ever, a year of good things and bad things and some things that fall into both camps.
I bought a flat and got to decorate some of it, I interviewed for a new job and got it so I am now employed until at least the end of 2013, I have lovely lodgers and good friends and I found out that I will become an Auntie early in 2013.
Made a rather disasterous attempt at a romantic relationship that leaves me wondering if I'm cut out for that sort of thing (or if the magnet on my fridge is correct, men are like chocolates; wait too long and only the weird nutty ones are left). There seems to be a lot of baby-making going on in my social and work circles, but I don't know if I can see that in my future any more. Both my paternal grandparents died, in my grandmother's case after a very distressing few months for her with dementia and weekly trips to A&E with a circulation problem.
With the last funeral only three weeks in the past, the sad/bad things feel like they've been stacked at the end of the year. But that's just an arbitrary point, like someone said above. And I realise that I was very fortunate to have all of my grandparents alive when I reached 30 and it shouldn't be that surprising that I am down to 50% at 31.
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Now occasionally blogging.
Hire Bell Tents and camping equipment in Scotland
Posts: 1183 | From: The Granite City | Registered: Jan 2007
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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505
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Posted
Well I was very glad to see the end of 2012. Not that 2013 started wonderfully, because I have been sicker than I've been in a very long time thanks to a nasty rotten virus.
Even though I am a very laidback person, and am extremely contented and secure, when I look back over the last 3 decades of my life, there have been two years that stand out as being very hard going. 1984 was one, and 2012 was the other. Not whinging. Not bitching. Just fact.
And sincerely hoping there's at least another 26 years to the next annus horribilus. My sympathies, Sir K, Robert & Amika.
I can only surmise we are meant to go on, as the good Lord has not chosen to call us home yet.
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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.
Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005
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Mad Cat
Shipmate
# 9104
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Banner Lady:
....there have been two years that stand out as being very hard going. 1984 was one, and 2012 was the other. Not whinging. Not bitching. Just fact.
And sincerely hoping there's at least another 26 years to the next annus horribilus. My sympathies, Sir K, Robert & Amika.
Yep, I think it's right to acknowledge a tough year. I think it's our duty to look for and to say thank you for consolations and mercies amidst trials (some folk have to look really hard), but it does no-one any good to just pretend everything's fine.
2012 held good and bad for me: good career stuff, and healing on the mental health front.
Bad stuff included a step back with health, and grief as I add another year past 40 and the likelihood of children of my own recedes. My consolation for this is that the grief must be sharper if you have a partner and aren't able to share this joy with them.
The sadness is bitter and lonely, and I can't pretend it's not there. I won't. I remember being asked at 31 in a work review the standard question: where do you see yourself in 5 years. I gave the usual work answer, but in my heart I said: I want to be married and have a family. I have to be honest with God so I can find a way to live with it, and that means being sad and angry. That means we can work something out, and it doesn't poison me, the way I feared it might.
I believe we decide to have hope, the way we decide to have faith. It comes through grace, but our decision, often taken in darkness and ruins, opens the door to that grace. I've decided I will hope and have faith, and say thank you, too, and add that to my prayers.
quote:
I can only surmise we are meant to go on, as the good Lord has not chosen to call us home yet.
To me this reads like a battle cry - what courage, and amen!
[ 07. January 2013, 22:34: Message edited by: Mad Cat ]
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Weird and sweary.
Posts: 1844 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2005
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St Everild
Shipmate
# 3626
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Posted
Not a good year for me either. Two burglaries at my home, which is also my workplace.
The sudden death of my father (following the death of my mother in 2011).
The death of my uncle whose funeral was the week before my father died.
The death of a much loved and missed cat who we had had from kittenhood.
It might be called "Two burglaries and too many funerals"...
However, I am grateful for the friends I have, and there was rather a good Shipmeet in May to look back upon...
Here's hoping 2013 will be a much happier year, personally. And for all of us.
Posts: 1782 | From: Bethnei | Registered: Dec 2002
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
I empathise completely with those who had a horrible year '12. Our's was considerably better than 2011, which was the only year ever I wished and asked God to damn me rather personally for eternity versus what the year wrought on me and mine. I had thought 2006 and 2009 were bad (family deaths).
For those who had a rotten 2012, apparently, he says reluctantly with his third finger up and his tongue out at God, things get easier with time. Though I'd still punch Jesus if he showed up. And on the other cheek too, as well as one to the gut and I'd give him a knee too. ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
2013 not too bad so far: given up some bad habits, had a bit of work and temporarily took up a new sport - as a participant - drag racing!
![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif)
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Adeodatus
Shipmate
# 4992
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by no prophet:
Though I'd still punch Jesus if he showed up. And on the other cheek too, as well as one to the gut and I'd give him a knee too.
![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif) no prophet, you're my kind of Christian!
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"What is broken, repair with gold."
Posts: 9779 | From: Manchester | Registered: Sep 2003
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Beautiful Dreamer
Shipmate
# 10880
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Posted
Teddybear, that is *great* about the kidney! I can't even *begin* to imagine what it must have been like before you got one.
Speaking of getting new things, I was finally able to get the hip replacement operation I've been needing. I'm not sure how many here know about this, but I was in a really bad car wreck in 2005. I broke my pelvis and spent a month in the hospital...I should be grateful to be alive at all and most of the time I am, but I've definitely had a lot of moments (or days) of self-pity because of the way the damage from the wreck basically put our whole lives on hold. I couldn't have kids, couldn't work a whole lot (for that and other reasons), couldn't...well, you get the idea. Now I can do a lot more with a lot less pain!
We didn't get my hip fixed because we couldn't afford it...I'm in the US and let's just say that the hospital fees alone for an operation like that are more than what my household makes in a year. We had insurance and Medicare and that helped a lot, but the fact that I had to wait seven years for this really bothers me.
I'm mostly glad to live where I do but it's things like this that make me want to slap the living crap out of the next person who implies that people who are on government benefits are only there because they don't want to work. I'd *love* to have been able to work all this time...then maybe I wouldn't have had to wait so effing long.
(tangent)
Just out of curiosity, how long do you think I'd have had to wait if I'd been in the UK or Canada? Australia? Anywhere other than here?
(/tangent)
To echo the others who lament about having kids...I'm 35 and afraid I won't be able to have them either because we waited too long...that wait was forced on us, but the end result is still the same. So, I'm there with you...
2012 was a decent year for me...I wish for everyone to have a better 2013.
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More where that came from
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!
Posts: 6028 | From: Outside Atlanta, GA | Registered: Jan 2006
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Robert Armin
All licens'd fool
# 182
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Posted
I can just imagine Mudfrog's reaction to events 2000 odd years ago. "So, your leader's been killed? Don't you know the Romans sometimes wipe out whole villages or towns? You should be grateful they only killed the one of you. And you've got your old jobs to fall back on. In fact, you've had three years of sponging off others. Be grateful for that, and then stop whinging and do some work!"
[ 13. January 2013, 21:43: Message edited by: Robert Armin ]
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Keeping fit was an obsession with Fr Moity .... He did chin ups in the vestry, calisthenics in the pulpit, and had developed a series of Tai-Chi exercises to correspond with ritual movements of the Mass. The Antipope Robert Rankin
Posts: 8927 | From: In the pack | Registered: May 2001
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Carys
Ship's Celticist
# 78
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Posted
2012 was a good year for me. In mind 2010, boyfriend and I called it a day because of distance, then on the same day I was served notice on my house and warning of possible redundancy. I was then unemployed for 18 months. A year ago less a week I was interviewed for a job as a verger. I was offered out and started in march and am loving it. Was confirmed in post in September so feeling settled for a while at least.
Carys
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O Lord, you have searched me and know me
You know when I sit and when I rise
Posts: 6896 | From: Bryste mwy na thebyg | Registered: May 2001
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Gee D
Shipmate
# 13815
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Beautiful Dreamer:
(tangent)
Just out of curiosity, how long do you think I'd have had to wait if I'd been in the UK or Canada? Australia? Anywhere other than here?
(/tangent)
Here, you would have to wait until a suitable donation became available, whether you were being treated as a public (i.e., no charge) patient, or one covered by private insurance. Then, you'd get perhaps 8 hours notice and off to the operating theatre.
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Not every Anglican in Sydney is Sydney Anglican
Posts: 7028 | From: Warrawee NSW Australia | Registered: Jun 2008
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Aren't hip joints artificial?
It says here 'maximum of 18 weeks from recommendation' - though getting to that stage could take several months. Plus there are other factors, such as being able to choose which hospital. But on the NHS, it seems less than a year would be a reasonable expectation.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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maryjones
Shipmate
# 13523
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Posted
You use donated hips?! Hip replacement here uses artificial hips! ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
Posts: 75 | From: Gloucestershire | Registered: Mar 2008
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Beautiful Dreamer:
(tangent)
Just out of curiosity, how long do you think I'd have had to wait if I'd been in the UK or Canada? Australia? Anywhere other than here?
(/tangent)
Canada: One of my business partners waited about 5 weeks, two years ago. Another man I know waited about 3 months, but he was trying to time the surgery. The priorisation for the surgery seems to be based on how much mobility the person has, how much pain, and some personal factors.
If you fracture a hip, the standard is to have it pinned within 48 hours max, with most happening within 24.
Parallel, when my father needed a corneal transplant this meant that he was totally without vision as he's blind in the other eye. I moved him from Mexico back to Canada, and he had surgery here 3 weeks later. Again, it was an assessment of how urgently the surgery was needed. (He did not even have Canadian health care coverage at the time of the initial pre-surg appt, though it came through 1 week before surgery/)
[ 14. January 2013, 20:41: Message edited by: no prophet ]
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Gee D
Shipmate
# 13815
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Posted
My fault - for some reason I had read on another post about a liver transplant and read that into the hip replacement post.....
There may be some delay here in getting any joint replacement as a public patient, as it's usually classed as nonessential. You read stories in the press of waits up to 18 months. As a privately insured patient, the only delay is your chosen surgeon's list, and that's only a matter of a month or so at the most. Of course, even with maximum insurance, you could still be quite a bit out of pocket, as you can't insure against any gap beyond a government fixed sum and the fees actually charged by your particular surgeon and anaesthetist.
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Not every Anglican in Sydney is Sydney Anglican
Posts: 7028 | From: Warrawee NSW Australia | Registered: Jun 2008
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Gee D
Shipmate
# 13815
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Posted
Another fault - read "kidney" for "liver". Time for bed, I think.
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Not every Anglican in Sydney is Sydney Anglican
Posts: 7028 | From: Warrawee NSW Australia | Registered: Jun 2008
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Mudfrog
Shipmate
# 8116
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Robert Armin:
I can just imagine Mudfrog's reaction to events 2000 odd years ago. "So, your leader's been killed? Don't you know the Romans sometimes wipe out whole villages or towns? You should be grateful they only killed the one of you. And you've got your old jobs to fall back on. In fact, you've had three years of sponging off others. Be grateful for that, and then stop whinging and do some work!"
In the OP no-one died: he had his bike stolen and had to pay some bills!
The rest of the posts on this thread range from the extremely awkward to the downright tragic - everyone in these situations quite rightly receives words of sympathy and no doubt actual prayers from shipmates.
Please don't equate an inconvenience with a tragedy.
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"The point of having an open mind, like having an open mouth, is to close it on something solid."
G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 8237 | From: North Yorkshire, UK | Registered: Jul 2004
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Robert Armin
All licens'd fool
# 182
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Posted
And please don't equate insensitivity with compassion.
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Keeping fit was an obsession with Fr Moity .... He did chin ups in the vestry, calisthenics in the pulpit, and had developed a series of Tai-Chi exercises to correspond with ritual movements of the Mass. The Antipope Robert Rankin
Posts: 8927 | From: In the pack | Registered: May 2001
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Mudfrog
Shipmate
# 8116
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Robert Armin:
And please don't equate insensitivity with compassion.
Neither equate a moment of minor inconvenience with a year of profound despair.
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"The point of having an open mind, like having an open mouth, is to close it on something solid."
G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 8237 | From: North Yorkshire, UK | Registered: Jul 2004
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Robert Armin
All licens'd fool
# 182
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Posted
Or equate a moment when one should weep with those that weep, with a moment when one should lecture people.
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Keeping fit was an obsession with Fr Moity .... He did chin ups in the vestry, calisthenics in the pulpit, and had developed a series of Tai-Chi exercises to correspond with ritual movements of the Mass. The Antipope Robert Rankin
Posts: 8927 | From: In the pack | Registered: May 2001
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