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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Would you do that at home?! Church Antics
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Cryptic
Shipmate
# 16917
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Vaticanchic:
If you're a woman in this role, the suit you need normally resembles a carpet.
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
quote:
Originally posted by bib:
Maybe we need a rule that you have to move to a different spot each Sunday or just for fun have a game of musical chairs.
Now that's just utter heresy... ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
Mamacita - agree completely with your thoughts.
quote:
Originally posted by Mamacita:
...and (dare I throw in a buzzword) inclusion.
Yes, "inclusion" is quite a buzzword. Inclusion is a central part of what we do at my parish, it's bloody important in a diocese where many are excluded. Inclusion is what Christ did, and for the rest of us, seeing it happen is a constant reminder of God's grace.
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Illegitimi non carborundum
Posts: 225 | From: Sydney | Registered: Feb 2012
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venbede
Shipmate
# 16669
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mamacita:
Their mom would Braille the readings for them and they would read from the lectern, with a parent at their side to assist. It was *not* perfect, but it was two young people offering their best to God.
And that's why a small part of me bristles over comments about technical perfection in the liturgy.
But that is perfect, Mamacita. It is taking time and trouble and imagination and not replacing the liturgy of the church with something simpler and possibly patronising.
Those readers and their parents took immense care in delivering a central part of the liturgy, and made a vital witness to you all.
It is the opposite of the "it-doesn't-matter-
as-long-as-they-mean-well" attitude.
[ 29. May 2012, 08:38: Message edited by: venbede ]
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Man was made for joy and woe;
And when this we rightly know,
Thro' the world we safely go.
Posts: 3201 | From: An historic market town nestling in the folds of Surrey's rolling North Downs, | Registered: Sep 2011
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Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
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Posted
My grump at the moment is church people who use things for church purposes but don't bother to basically put things back the way they found them.
May sound small but Sound System left on and keys to it left out in the Church!
Oh and the individual who chucks out broken microphones rather than telling me so I can get someone to fix them!
Jengie
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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
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Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
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venbede
Shipmate
# 16669
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Posted
I've only known one retired priest do this recently, but I suspect it was once much more common.
At a said celebration, to introduce the collect not with "Let us pray" but with "The collect for the Thirteenth Sunday after Trinity".
Those who know what a collect or a Sunday after Trinity are, don't need to be told. Those who don't know what they mean, will be confused by unnecessary jargon.
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Man was made for joy and woe;
And when this we rightly know,
Thro' the world we safely go.
Posts: 3201 | From: An historic market town nestling in the folds of Surrey's rolling North Downs, | Registered: Sep 2011
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iamchristianhearmeroar
Shipmate
# 15483
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Posted
quote:
It is the folks who would shush you if you made a peep in a movie theatre that yak away in church that get to me.
My favourite in this vein was a well-heeled pompous old git in the congregation at a FiF church where I was singing with a visiting choir who kept shushing us before the service. His mobile went off during the Eucharistic prayer. He then proceeded to answer it!
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My blog: http://alastairnewman.wordpress.com/
Posts: 642 | From: London, UK | Registered: Feb 2010
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
Originally posted by Jengie Jon:
quote:
Despite appearances candles are not banned at my church, it is just the health and safety assessment made by elders for their use tend to put off any would be candle lighters They involve several elders being and buckets of water and sand in places ready to extinguish them if things go wrong.
Our sole candle-using service is Carols by Candlelight, and it's preceded by people standing in the aisles doing an air-hostess-style demonstration. ("The exits are there and there" etc, with arm movements.)
Plus, of course, the strategically placed buckets of sand / water.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
Our sole candle-using service is Carols by Candlelight, and it's preceded by people standing in the aisles doing an air-hostess-style demonstration. ("The exits are there and there" etc, with arm movements.)
We have several retired or active active flight attendants in our congregation. We could have such fun with this!
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
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Posted
Yes but I know one church where that* happens every week and they don't light candles.
Jengie
*slight exaggeration, but the fire announcement is made before every morning service including stating where the exits are.
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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
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Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
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innocent(ish)
Shipmate
# 12691
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by bib:
The folk who come into church and pointedly remark that the visitor is sitting in THEIR SEAT. It is amusing to notice from the choir stalls that most regular members of the congregation have favourite places to sit in church and rarely vary from these. Maybe we need a rule that you have to move to a different spot each Sunday or just for fun have a game of musical chairs.
The Baptist church I was at in North London had a complete refit, carpets laid, repainted top to bottom, and the pews that were far too close together were moved further apart by the cunning removal of a couple.
This created the rather amusing spectacle of watching people who sat in this pew, had always sat in this pew, and will always sit in this pew trying to work out which one it was. What had been fourth from the back was still fourth from the back. What was sixth from the front was still sixth from the front. Unfortunately they were now one and the same.
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"Christianity has become part of the furniture ... like a grand piano nobody plays any longer.I want the dust to be taken off and people to play music." Archbishop John Sentamu
Posts: 109 | From: Rochester | Registered: Jun 2007
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Og, King of Bashan
Ship's giant Amorite
# 9562
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mr. Rob:
quote:
Originally posted by Vaticanchic:
Years ago, when I came out to my mother as an ordinand, she warned me that "church people are very strange". I inwardly smiled and piously loved her. Now, of course, I realise she is damned right ...
You bet.
How about the incense thingy? High church Anglicans, and some not so high, have used incense for many, many decades. Their choirs perform with it and their congregations worship with it, some weekly some on occasion. No problem.
But other places incense with worship brings out the church neurotics in droves. The sudden asthmatics and allergics, the faint of heart and respiration, the suspicious, those worried about fire. Much waving of service bulletins and coughing so as to make a point of it.
I was raised with the use of the stuff a Mass on Sundays and Feasts. Hundreds of us never had a problem with incense unless someone overloaded the thurible, which was a rarity.
I suppose for Evangelicals the use of incense is unthinkable, yet its use in worship has an explicit scriptural foundation. I find this all very amusing.
We use incense at one of the two Masses every Sunday, and we still have regulars fanning frantically and diving to open the windows before they have to be subjected to the smoke.
I like to think that if they are willing to put up with the smoke every week, we must do everything else perfectly.
(I am a incense lover, and I am willing to admit that if I am having a particularly troubling allergy day, the smoke can, in fact, exacerbate things. But usually, if I remember to take my pill the night before, I have no issues.)
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"I like to eat crawfish and drink beer. That's despair?" ― Walker Percy
Posts: 3259 | From: Denver, Colorado, USA | Registered: May 2005
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churchgeek
Have candles, will pray
# 5557
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Incumbent:
Clergy who seem uncomfortable with formality and the words they are supposed to say and must inject their own comments, quips, and remarks all the way through, just to make it "personal". Also clergy who feel that their personal lives and those of their families, friends, and pets are fascinating to everyone else. Annopuncements with commentary that seem to be as long as the liturgy.
I know a particular retired clergy who has managed to work his friendship with Ann B. Davis (played Alice on the Brady Bunch) into more than one sermon. That factoid never explicates the Gospel, either.
And I also hate when clergy make a point of telling/showing their personal distaste for the liturgy they're presiding at. Nothing says "We're not really doing anything meaningful here, are we?" more.
Similarly, presiders/celebrants/officiants who don't pay attention to the parts that aren't "theirs" - e.g., they read the bulletin during the proclamation of the Word. Other forms of distractedness among the vested participants (clergy or not), such as looking around at people in the congregation during the procession and giving the general impression that you wish the procession would just get there already.
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I reserve the right to change my mind.
My article on the Virgin of Vladimir
Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004
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churchgeek
Have candles, will pray
# 5557
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Posted
We have a "family section" that has two purposes: (1) giving children a spot up front so they can see the action during the Eucharist; and (2) having all the families in one place, since the kids have been at Godly Play and only join the service at the Offertory. What really bewilders me is how much food is on the floor at the end of the service. It's not even as if the kids were there for the entire service (only slightly longer than an hour) - they've missed the long, boring parts. They've joined for the express purpose of receiving Communion. Why do their parents feel the need to shove snack foods in their mouths at all during a Sunday service, much less during this tiny fraction of a service they actually are attending? Did they not feed their kids breakfast before coming to church?
quote:
Originally posted by PD:
Cellphone sociopaths are another pet hate of mine. The vintage one was someone who answered their louding ringing phone with the words 'Can't talk now - I am in church.'
I was the verger at a wedding once, where the groom's mother answered the phone just as the procession finished entering. And she proceeded to talk to the person who called. (I think it was a guest who was running late, but still...)
quote:
Originally posted by South Coast Kevin:
I've thought of another thing we do in church services that we don't at home. When we're with family or friends at home, we usually interact in terms of everyone feeling included and valued. But in church services, there can be the temptation to use only the best musicians, the best readers, the best ushers etc. I don't think it should be this way; technical excellence isn't the point (IMO).
![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif) I often joke that the cardinal sin for Episcopalians is tackiness. Meaning Episcopalians are really good at making a standard out of their own taste and sneering at anything else. Sadly, the banner of "tacky" tends to include non-white cultural practices, anything approaching Catholic popular religion (like statuary, and touching/kissing holy objects), most pop culture, etc. It's just cultural snobbery.
That's how I read what South Coast Kevin said, anyway. I see that others are interpreting it as letting people do anything just to boost their self-esteem. It is important to perfect our offerings as much as we can. There's a balance to be struck.
BTW, ken's cracking me up in this thread!
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I reserve the right to change my mind.
My article on the Virgin of Vladimir
Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004
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Comper's Child
Shipmate
# 10580
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Og, King of Bashan:
We use incense at one of the two Masses every Sunday, and we still have regulars fanning frantically and diving to open the windows before they have to be subjected to the smoke.
I like to think that if they are willing to put up with the smoke every week, we must do everything else perfectly.
(I am a incense lover, and I am willing to admit that if I am having a particularly troubling allergy day, the smoke can, in fact, exacerbate things. But usually, if I remember to take my pill the night before, I have no issues.)
This past Sunday we had a visitor who made the mistake of taking a pew near the place where the Gospel is sung and when the thurifer came down, the poor fellow was wreathed in smoke - at which point he leapt up onto the pew to race to the side aisle. It was quite the vision.
edited for spelling
[ 01. June 2012, 17:18: Message edited by: Comper's Child ]
Posts: 2509 | From: Penn's Greene Countrie Towne | Registered: Oct 2005
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by churchgeek:
Why do their parents feel the need to shove snack foods in their mouths at all during a Sunday service, much less during this tiny fraction of a service they actually are attending? Did they not feed their kids breakfast before coming to church?
The many times I've seen 9-year-olds in Sunday school whine and clamour to go raid the Goldfish™ crackers in the preschool classroom have me pretty convinced that a lot of them don't have breakfast before coming to church.
But as to the parents pushing snacks in church, I think there's another motive: I truly think that many of them are, at some level, quite nervous about their children acting up during the liturgy, and so their M.O. is to keep the kids as distracted as possible. Stuffing their little faces is a popular diversionary tactic.
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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sebby
Shipmate
# 15147
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Posted
How absolutely disgusting. I had never even contemplated such behaviour until I read these posts.
Perhaps one of the reasons for our increasingly scandalous childhood obesity in the UK is precisely because parents stuff the faces of their children at every opportunity, often with crisps and fizzy drinks, then leave them with their phones and TVs and then...swoon swoon...expect them to be treated for free on the NHS when they inevitably bloat and get Type 2 diabetes.
The French on the other hand have a notion of MEALS. Children are expected to sit at the table and behave as it is an important occasion. Even the parking meters are turned off for two hours in the middle of the day.
And were the French to go to church (raher a rarity it has to be admitted), such behaviour by parents or children would be met with fascinated incomprehension.
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sebhyatt
Posts: 1340 | From: yorks | Registered: Sep 2009
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PD
Shipmate
# 12436
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Posted
In defense of the English it has to be said that the present bad habits are a product of the last 15-20 years. MEALS were still observed when I was a kid, and eating between meals firmly discouraged. Pop and crisps were occasional treats. In our house if one had to snack there was usually some fruit in a basket on the back of the Kitchen Counter. We were not middle class or at all well off, but Mother had standards.
On the odd occasions we went to church I was expected to sit down, shut up and behave like a civilized human being in return for which I would be rewarded by not being packed off to Sunday School. I did not like kids when I was a kid, so being able to avoid SS was a treat.
PD
[ 03. June 2012, 04:41: Message edited by: PD ]
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My Assorted Rantings - http://www.theoldhighchurchman.blogspot.com
Posts: 4431 | From: Between a Rock and a Hard Place | Registered: Mar 2007
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Zacchaeus
Shipmate
# 14454
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Posted
People who insist that the way that they do things, is the only way. Would you expect every household to do exactly the same thing, in the same way, at same time?
And people who confuse what the do, with why they do it eg it's not 'porper church' if we don't have the right flowers on the altar..
Posts: 1905 | From: the back of beyond | Registered: Jan 2009
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churchgeek
Have candles, will pray
# 5557
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mamacita:
[QUOTE]But as to the parents pushing snacks in church, I think there's another motive: I truly think that many of them are, at some level, quite nervous about their children acting up during the liturgy, and so their M.O. is to keep the kids as distracted as possible. Stuffing their little faces is a popular diversionary tactic.
Oh, absolutely. I have no doubt that's what it's about - keeping the kids quiet.
One of my sisters was diabetic (type I), and we never had food during church services. The most we could do was quietly doodle.
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I reserve the right to change my mind.
My article on the Virgin of Vladimir
Posts: 7773 | From: Detroit | Registered: Feb 2004
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