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Source: (consider it) Thread: Why I Hate One-Uppers
RuthW

liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13

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quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
Next function you both go to hire a stupendous male escort (stuff a cucumber down his trouser leg) to fawn over you all night (make sure you hair is a mess and you have grass in it, look flushed), and barely talk to her again.

She and I are both dating academics, so the last time she really got going about how great her guy is, I managed to mention that mine went to Harvard and is at a more prestigious university than hers is. [Big Grin]
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984

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quote:
Originally posted by Ariston:
No cucumber needed.

A single cooked udon noodle perhaps ....

--------------------
All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell

Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528

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That's another possibility--come in glowing (disheveled gorgeous escort is up to you) and when she asks why, refuse to tell her. "Oh, I don't think I can talk about it now", with mysterious smile--and keep evading the questions in a similar way until she dies of a fevered imagination.

What you don't hear about, you can't effectively top.

--------------------
Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

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Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858

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quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
Next function you both go to hire a stupendous male escort (stuff a cucumber down his trouser leg) to fawn over you all night (make sure you hair is a mess and you have grass in it, look flushed), and barely talk to her again.

From the OP it sounds as if, for maximum effect, he would have to be dressed as a priest. Are you available?

--------------------
And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.

Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
Earwig

Pincered Beastie
# 12057

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Yes! Hire a Justin Welby/ Papa Francis/ Ecumenical Patriarch lookalike, and turn up to your next meeting with them. When one-upper tries to interrupt, have your lookalike hold up their hand and say something like “Excuse me, madam, but I must keep learning from this sage; I have never heard such spiritual wisdom.” Look super-pious for bonus points.
Posts: 3120 | From: Yorkshire | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged
Higgs Bosun
Shipmate
# 16582

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Another source of laughter about one-upmanship is to search the Dilbert archive for 'topper' as here.
Posts: 313 | From: Near the Tidal Thames | Registered: Aug 2011  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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quote:
Originally posted by Earwig:
Yes! Hire a Justin Welby/ Papa Francis/ Ecumenical Patriarch lookalike, and turn up to your next meeting with them. When one-upper tries to interrupt, have your lookalike hold up their hand and say something like “Excuse me, madam, but I must keep learning from this sage; I have never heard such spiritual wisdom.” Look super-pious for bonus points.

My favorite episode of " Extras" involved the character Maggie ( a film extra) being alternately hounded by an old school mate whose acting carreer had progressed a bit more than hers, sliding in little digs about her superior dating life, living arangements, and job offers-- and by Orlando Bloom, who was furious that she didn't agree with some tabloid assessment that he was the sexiest man alive.

Just when the school mate is crafting her most elaborate and seamless one- up, Orlando Bloom comes sailing in from stage left, demanding a kiss from Maggie, who reluctantly agrees if " he will shut up about it."

See, that's what I keep hoping, if I just hang in there and do my best, the karma fairy will decide to include me in on some fun.

[ 26. June 2014, 17:15: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]

--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Kelly Alves

Bunny with an axe
# 2522

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quote:
Originally posted by Higgs Bosun:
Another source of laughter about one-upmanship is to search the Dilbert archive for 'topper' as here.

This is the BEST!

--------------------
I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.

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Jahlove
Tied to the mast
# 10290

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Great thread.

Years ago, I was telling my mother about a good friend who had just died after lingering three days in a coma, having been fatally injured in an RTA (he was a pedestrian struck by a motorbike). This event had left all who knew him in deep shock and grief.

Mother immediately responded with "when your father died", (10 years earlier, not unexpected), "I didn't have friends or anyone to help", thereby downplaying my very recent bereavement and passive-aggressively pointing out that, apparently, I hadn't done nearly enough by way of assisting her (as usual).

I note also that I have neatly combined the "Difficult Relatives" thread with this one. [Biased]

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“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” - Mark Twain

Posts: 6477 | From: Alice's Restaurant (UK Franchise) | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Pyx_e

Quixotic Tilter
# 57

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quote:
Originally posted by Erroneous Monk:
quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
Next function you both go to hire a stupendous male escort (stuff a cucumber down his trouser leg) to fawn over you all night (make sure you hair is a mess and you have grass in it, look flushed), and barely talk to her again.

From the OP it sounds as if, for maximum effect, he would have to be dressed as a priest. Are you available?
"Available" is not the word I would use.

--------------------
It is better to be Kind than right.

Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tubbs

Miss Congeniality
# 440

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quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
quote:
Originally posted by Higgs Bosun:
Another source of laughter about one-upmanship is to search the Dilbert archive for 'topper' as here.

This is the BEST!
Magnificent!!!!! Maybe the OP could take a few tips - and tell her "friend" to shut her pie hole or offer to punch them one!!!

Tubbs

--------------------
"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am

Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Charlie-in-the-box
Shipmate
# 17954

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quote:
Originally posted by Higgs Bosun:
Another source of laughter about one-upmanship is to search the Dilbert archive for 'topper' as here.

Those are totally hilarious. I love it when Alice screams "Shut your pie hole!" That's me with Miss One-Upper.

--------------------
Charlie-in-the-box
http://rosarygirl1962.blogspot.com/

Posts: 55 | From: Island of Misfit Heretics | Registered: Jan 2014  |  IP: Logged
Charlie-in-the-box
Shipmate
# 17954

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quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
quote:
Originally posted by Erroneous Monk:
quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
Next function you both go to hire a stupendous male escort (stuff a cucumber down his trouser leg) to fawn over you all night (make sure you hair is a mess and you have grass in it, look flushed), and barely talk to her again.

From the OP it sounds as if, for maximum effect, he would have to be dressed as a priest. Are you available?
"Available" is not the word I would use.
A priest? Hmmm maybe someone could just dress like one. I need a hottie about 10 years younger than me. Will I go to hell for this? Wait I'm in hell asking that. Oh that would be amazing. The possibilities are endless. From him interrupting her endlessly saying over and over what an amazing theologian I am to how he's going to sponsor me on 7 pilgrimages in the next year. Then a little flirting fun. [Snigger]

--------------------
Charlie-in-the-box
http://rosarygirl1962.blogspot.com/

Posts: 55 | From: Island of Misfit Heretics | Registered: Jan 2014  |  IP: Logged
Charlie-in-the-box
Shipmate
# 17954

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I could get a few people around me acting all excited and say that, after writing him a letter, Pope Francis called and I've been invited to Rome. I can't believe it and have everyone around me acting all exited and one of them was there when I talked to him on the phone. "So...did Pope Francis ever call you? I can't believe he commented on my letter and I get to spend a week riding around in his Pope mobile next month. So what are you doing for the rest of the summer?" BEOTCH

--------------------
Charlie-in-the-box
http://rosarygirl1962.blogspot.com/

Posts: 55 | From: Island of Misfit Heretics | Registered: Jan 2014  |  IP: Logged
Charlie-in-the-box
Shipmate
# 17954

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I got it! How about a priest telling her how I'm his spiritual director? [Eek!]

--------------------
Charlie-in-the-box
http://rosarygirl1962.blogspot.com/

Posts: 55 | From: Island of Misfit Heretics | Registered: Jan 2014  |  IP: Logged
chive

Ship's nude
# 208

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When she mentions her good relationships with oh these many priests do you ever ask her when she developed her priest fetish? I've met a few women who seem to collect priests as a sort of safe nonsexual but in their heads clearly a little bit sexual fashion. Tis not healthy.

--------------------
'Edward was the kind of man who thought there was no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who hadn't done one-to-one Bible study with him.' Catherine Fox, Love to the Lost

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Tubbs

Miss Congeniality
# 440

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quote:
Originally posted by chive:
When she mentions her good relationships with oh these many priests do you ever ask her when she developed her priest fetish? I've met a few women who seem to collect priests as a sort of safe nonsexual but in their heads clearly a little bit sexual fashion. Tis not healthy.

I would be tempted to ask her, when she blathers on about whether or not you use his work or personal email is, What's it to you? and then change the subject.

From the OP, it sounds like you're this Priests friend - you correspond, you get dinner invites, you have a healthy, two way relationship etc. She's not his mate, she's just a cloth moth. I bet if you mentioned in passing to this Priest that you find her a little difficult you might score a wry smile. Most clergy with half a brain can spot that type a mile away - and avoid them like the plague!

Remembering my particular Topper, once you realise that's what they're doing, you may be half way there. Toppers do what they do because they're insecure, needy and get their jollies from making others feel bad about themselves. You're way better than that. Next time she gets going, just think, "Yeah love, whatever ... And I bet you can walk on water too".. [Roll Eyes] Whilst smiling and nodding.

That said, I'm only human and I may have enjoyed the moment when I last ran into her and whilst she was banging on about how actively involved they were at church, I slipped into conversation that Mr T was now Rev T. [Snigger]

Tubbs

[ 27. June 2014, 11:25: Message edited by: Tubbs ]

--------------------
"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am

Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Charlie-in-the-box
Shipmate
# 17954

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quote:
Originally posted by chive:
When she mentions her good relationships with oh these many priests do you ever ask her when she developed her priest fetish? I've met a few women who seem to collect priests as a sort of safe nonsexual but in their heads clearly a little bit sexual fashion. Tis not healthy.

I have no idea but she's obsessed with one priest in particular. She's married with kids so I don't even want to know what's up with that. I think it's because he tells her she has some magical "healing gift". Whatever.

We used to attend the same parish. I was going through a really horrible depression after my 2nd divorce and told her how horrible I felt. I was almost suicidal. I made it clear I wasn't but that I really wouldn't care if I didn't wake up tomorrow. She just went on and on about how upset she was because the priest she likes hasn't been returning her calls. That's when she ceased to be a friend. In my hour of darkness you take my own candle of hope and shine that light on yourself? Thanks. BTW, I saw a doc and I'm on some really good meds and I'm feeling much better. But this goes way deeper than her just injecting herself into my life to one-up. I know I really have to let it go so she doesn't rent space in my head and I guess that's why I wrote this, for some validation and just to get her out of my head.

This latest incident she had the nerve to send through a good friend. She told her to tell me how wonderful Lourdes was and how she enjoyed seeing St Bernadette's grave, she took her daughter with her and too bad I had to miss it, yada yada. She knows I really tried to see if there was any way I could go on that trip. She KNEW I really was sad when I realized I couldn't go, especially when my spiritual director was leading the trip. I have a very large statue of Our Lady Of Lourdes in a shrine I set up in my living room. I had also just gotten stable on some medication, and she just had to send that dig. I told the new friend, who had no idea, to please never relay messages for her. Her response was that she would not do it again and that this gal probably had low self esteem.

Well my self esteem is at minus 50 and I am supposed to take her crap? Why? I get hammered and beat on by her priest sorta boyfriend when I said I wanted my ashes scattered some day when we were talking about another member's funeral. "That's not the holy disposition the church requires." TOUGH ROCKS. You don't get to say what is done with me when I'm gone, you crapped on me enough when I was alive.

[Disappointed]

Then I find out about those mass graves of children at the Catholic orphanages that they are finding. Yeah that seems like holy disposition. I'm tired of being told I have to be 100% ass in line by her and her priest buddy while the church can do whatever it wants.

The nice thing about having a diagnosed mental illness (which she had to top with her horrible brain problems she has cause she fell on the ice and bonked her empty head)is that I can blow my gasket and then later say that she has to excuse me because I can't help it. I'm tired of getting no breaks when I struggle and am medically diagnosed with a mental illness while she gets off the hook because she has "low self esteem". Tough shit, suck it up Buttercup, put on your big girl panties and know that once you dish it out you better be able to take it right back.

I love how we have to accommodate other people's abusive crap but if we give some back we're horrible and mean. [Roll Eyes]

--------------------
Charlie-in-the-box
http://rosarygirl1962.blogspot.com/

Posts: 55 | From: Island of Misfit Heretics | Registered: Jan 2014  |  IP: Logged
Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858

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quote:
Originally posted by Charlie-in-the-box:


She knows I really tried to see if there was any way I could go on that trip. She KNEW I really was sad when I realized I couldn't go, especially when my spiritual director was leading the trip. I have a very large statue of Our Lady Of Lourdes in a shrine I set up in my living room.

This is turning into an episode of Father Ted.

--------------------
And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.

Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
jbohn
Shipmate
# 8753

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quote:
Originally posted by Erroneous Monk:
quote:
Originally posted by Charlie-in-the-box:


She knows I really tried to see if there was any way I could go on that trip. She KNEW I really was sad when I realized I couldn't go, especially when my spiritual director was leading the trip. I have a very large statue of Our Lady Of Lourdes in a shrine I set up in my living room.

This is turning into an episode of Father Ted.
[Killing me]

--------------------
We are punished by our sins, not for them.
--Elbert Hubbard

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Tubbs

Miss Congeniality
# 440

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quote:
Originally posted by jbohn:
quote:
Originally posted by Erroneous Monk:
quote:
Originally posted by Charlie-in-the-box:


She knows I really tried to see if there was any way I could go on that trip. She KNEW I really was sad when I realized I couldn't go, especially when my spiritual director was leading the trip. I have a very large statue of Our Lady Of Lourdes in a shrine I set up in my living room.

This is turning into an episode of Father Ted.
[Killing me]
You'll have had your tea ...

Tubbs

--------------------
"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am

Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Dark Knight

Super Zero
# 9415

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quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
quote:
Originally posted by The Phantom Flan Flinger:
She'll probably one-up you back, just keep on going and see how ridiculous it gets.

This ridiculous?
[Big Grin]

Never, EVER link to anything from the Live at the Hollywood Bowl concert. That abomination was the biggest insult to one's fans ever committed.
Any other version is better.
Of course, you could always watch the original.

Looks like one-upmanship is alive and well here.
"You think that's a Monty Python sketch? Aye, let me show you a REAL Monty Python sketch!"
[Roll Eyes]

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orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink:
Or this ?

I used to LOVE these two.

--------------------
Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged
orfeo

Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878

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quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
That's another possibility--come in glowing (disheveled gorgeous escort is up to you) and when she asks why, refuse to tell her. "Oh, I don't think I can talk about it now", with mysterious smile--and keep evading the questions in a similar way until she dies of a fevered imagination.

What you don't hear about, you can't effectively top.

[Big Grin] [Overused]

--------------------
Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.

Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged



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