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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Bereavement
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
Funeral on Saturday for uncle in Calgary. Just figuring out after many long, long calls with my aunt what and how to do things, and to help her at the funeral re her greatly difficult children; she's like a mother to me, and grandmother to my kids. Then a phone message comes, from Ottawa, aunt has died today. Sudden. Uncle who is stone cold deaf greatly needs help, we are communicating by text message and relay service. What to do what to do what to do. I need to get to Alberta and Ontario all at the same time. Or get someone in one place or the other. Didn't need the sinus cold and dripping nose in addition.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
{{No Prophet}} ![[Votive]](graemlins/votive.gif)
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
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Posted
((No Prophet))
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And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
For you and the family, No Prophet.
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Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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Jemima the 9th
Shipmate
# 15106
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Posted
Heavens, no prophet. for you, and for all your family. And the logistics.
A side note on being broadsided by grief. In Starbucks with no3 this morning and all of a sudden sniffling like a jessy because I was surrounded by middle aged women shopping with their mothers. Mum died 2 years ago and although we were close we didn't do shopping as a recreational thing together. I was jealous of something I didn't even want when I could have had it.
Posts: 801 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2009
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
Thanks for the kind words. Appreciated muchly. Off the first of two, which occurs tomorrow. I am additionally tipped off about the conflicts we're wading into.
Re the seeing of someone, and thinking it's the person you're mourning. I think it's true that we carry around little internalized bits of people we're known and loved within us, such that it's a today thing, not a past thing to recall in such a way, my memory is "now".
I don't see them like you report,
Jemima the 9th, but if there's a mind's ear akin to a mind's eye, I hear their voices particularly. Then I have to tell myself to stop listening or I will certainly cry. Which is not bad, but just not all the (friggin) time.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
Last week I spent a few days in Mysore and was chatting to my friend H there and mentioned that I can never really forget his birthday as it is the same day as my mum and 26 years on the old feelings of missing her came back.
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
Mrs Sioni never forgets the anniversary of her Mum's death but what makes it especially poignant was that she died not long after midnight. The day before had been our daughter's fourth birthday and we're sure she didn't want our daughter's birthday remembered for all the wrong reasons, so she managed to hang on for a few more hours.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Moo
Ship's tough old bird
# 107
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Posted
My husband died the day before our older daughter's nineteenth birthday.
Moo
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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.
Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001
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Jenn.
Shipmate
# 5239
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Posted
My mother-in-law died on Friday, the day before my sons 5th birthday. We spent his birthday with the whole family at a zoo/theme park. This was very strange. I was close to m-i-l, and it feels sometimes like I'm grieving too much because its not my mum. But its very hard to pretend that everything is OK, because it isn't.
Posts: 2282 | From: England | Registered: Nov 2003
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
... we're sure she didn't want our daughter's birthday remembered for all the wrong reasons ...
My brother-in-law died on the day after his own birthday, which was also the day before mine, a few days after my dad's and a couple of days before my brother's girlfriend's.
It was as though he'd hung on to get a day that wasn't someone's birthday.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jenn.:
My mother-in-law died on Friday, the day before my sons 5th birthday. We spent his birthday with the whole family at a zoo/theme park. This was very strange. I was close to m-i-l, and it feels sometimes like I'm grieving too much because its not my mum. But its very hard to pretend that everything is OK, because it isn't.
((Jenn.)) Thinking of you
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And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
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Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
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Posted
My dad died on my parent's wedding anniversary. On 5th December this year it will be one year since he died, and it will also be their Ruby Wedding. It's just so sad.
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And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
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MiceElf
Not your average mouse
# 4389
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Posted
Last year my son's partner gave birth to a tiny premature baby who clung to life until strong enough to eventually go home. Everything seemed fine she was needing a lot of support but was happy - smiley responsive and expected to thrive. Suddenly in March this year she simply stopped breathing and I received the awful phone call from my son that she had died. She was 7 months old.
Our two families response to this awful time could not be more different and I am ashamed and disgusted with my own parents apparent distant and callous reactions and statements such as telling my son "It would have been easier if she had died when she was first born - then they would not be so attached to her" or today's priceless comment when I told them that he sounded really depressed... was...
"Is he still upset about the baby?"
I read everyone's posts re:- losing a parent and I almost feel envious; not for your sad loss of a loved mother or father.... but for the almost certain feeling that I fear there is little to grieve for when she goes... except a lifetime of missed opportunities to love and be loved.
She phoned me to say that her funeral was all planned and paid for, and that she has stipulated that she wants " Always look on the bright side of life" played as the curtains close.
Like farting in a lift... this is so wrong on so many levels it crushes me under ten tons of irony I really want to weep.
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What do we want.... Cure for Obesity
When do we want it.... After Dessert.
Posts: 1032 | From: OILOVWOIGHT | Registered: Apr 2003
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Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by MiceElf:
I read everyone's posts re:- losing a parent and I almost feel envious; not for your sad loss of a loved mother or father.... but for the almost certain feeling that I fear there is little to grieve for when she goes... except a lifetime of missed opportunities to love and be loved.
I have read that death of a family member you did not have a close relationship with can be more difficult than death of an emotionally close love one.
The stated reason was, as you'll relate, you lose not just the person but the hope of ever having the deeply longed for warm relationship.
It's taken me a decade to be able to look back and occasionally see deeply flawed attempt to express love in some of the things she said and did, flawed as much by her training from her sub-culture as by her real self.
We are all walking wounded. Including our parents.
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
Imagine if you will two children of dead person, after the service, arguing at the front of the church over who shall transport the cremated remains which were in a small box. Thank God for Rev Dr Priest who, all 5 feet of her, somehow authoritatively asserted peace, took the hands of both and delivered them to family at the back of the church, turned heel, picked up the cremains and went forward away from family with them.
Excuses made, tears shed, riot act read. Neutral party to transport remains. I felt we this was a bizarre reboot of a Victorian novel. It has taken a bit of time passage for me to update.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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