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Source: (consider it) Thread: Hell: Could it be... SATAN?
Hooker's Trick

Admin Emeritus and Guardian of the Gin
# 89

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I did know before reading the "God of Islam is not the God of the Bible" thread that Satan wrote the Koran.

I am not too conversant with the works of the Dark One, but I wonder if someone who is could tell me of some other things that the Devil has secretly inspired?

HT

[ 10. March 2003, 01:39: Message edited by: Erin ]

Posts: 6735 | From: Gin Lane | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Doctor Zaius
Shipmate
# 261

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Highlander 2.

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My Ecclesiastes Project

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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76

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The Genesis Flood - allegedly by Henry Morris.

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

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Nightlamp
Shipmate
# 266

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cats being used as house hold pets

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I don't know what you are talking about so it couldn't have been that important- Nightlamp

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Hooker's Trick

Admin Emeritus and Guardian of the Gin
# 89

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Come now, I was looking for better things than that, like the Liberal Democrat Party, the Dalai Lama and the American Civil Liberties Union.

Surely when Satan isn't busy dictating to Mohamed he is whispering in the Dalai Lama's ear, right?


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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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Wrong. He's too busy giving the Labour Party ideas.
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Hooker's Trick

Admin Emeritus and Guardian of the Gin
# 89

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I thought Tony Blair was Satan until I found out the Dark Prince wrote the Koran. Tony doesn't write nearly well enough.
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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It is a reasonably well kept secret that Tony cannot actually write at all. It is all done for him by a variety of hellions of the lower orders, which is why the quality varies.
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Tim V
Shipmate
# 830

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quote:
Originally posted by Hooker's Trick:
I thought Tony Blair was Satan until I found out the Dark Prince wrote the Koran. Tony doesn't write nearly well enough.

Yes, you can consider your point as made and made again.

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Scots steel tempered wi' Irish fire.
Is the weapon that I desire.


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mother hubbard
Shipmate
# 640

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personally, i think he works for the police, in the speeding ticket department.

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you realise, of course, that now i;ve posted on youir thread, it will automatically sink without a trace?

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Spike

Mostly Harmless
# 36

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Sorry but your all wrong. He writes all those letters I get from the bank.

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"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing

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John Donne

Renaissance Man
# 220

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HT you will be pleased to learn that Satan is bringing the prophecies of Revelation to bear through the use of barcodes.

That is however, when he is not busy spreading his evil tendrils through the World Wide Web. WWW at the beginning of our addresses is really 666 as 'W' is the 6th letter of the Hebrew alphabet.

Frankly, the concern of christians for these things makes me very depressed.


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Siegfried
Ship's ferret
# 29

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Now, that's a nice link to post over on the "It's the end of the world" thread in Urban Myths!

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Siegfried
Life is just a bowl of cherries!

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QLib

Bad Example
# 43

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I think Satan inspired religion, to turn people off |God.

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Tradition is the handing down of the flame, not the worship of the ashes Gustav Mahler.

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chukovsky

Ship's toddler
# 116

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He must be very busy because he spends all day distracting me with the Ship and other assorted internet non-work things, so I don't get any work done, then he plies me with drink all evening.

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This space left intentionally blank. Do not write on both sides of the paper at once.

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Nunc Dimittis
Seamstress of Sound
# 848

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The Prime Minister of Australia
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Siegfried
Ship's ferret
# 29

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What about The Satanic Verses?

There's also The Devil's Dictionary and, of course, The Satanic Bible.

Sieg


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Hull Hound
Shipmate
# 2140

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Just look at our own Gadgets for God. Also Enron directors, Railtrack PLC, Not sure about Tony Blair but try Lionel Blair.
Surely Roy Orbison is the 'Dark One'Roy Orbison
Speaking of Liberal Democrats, I once spent an evening in East Ham Liberal club with just the barman and A.N. Other, Roy Orbison was all that was played, ahhhhhhh. Did I mention I didn't like Roy?

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ahhh ... Bisto!

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chukovsky

Ship's toddler
# 116

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quote:
Originally posted by Hull Hound:

Speaking of Liberal Democrats, I once spent an evening in East Ham Liberal club with just the barman and A.N. Other, Roy Orbison was all that was played, ahhhhhhh. Did I mention I didn't like Roy?

Why didn't you go home and put on some music you did like?

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This space left intentionally blank. Do not write on both sides of the paper at once.


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Hooker's Trick

Admin Emeritus and Guardian of the Gin
# 89

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quote:
Originally posted by Siegfried:
What about The Satanic Verses?

There's also The Devil's Dictionary and, of course, The Satanic Bible.

Sieg


He wrote those as well as the Koran?

Maybe some of these were "ghost" written.


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Nicolemr
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# 28

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i am given to understand that there are certain christians who sincerly and truly believe that bill clinton was literally a servent of satan.

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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!

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Hull Hound
Shipmate
# 2140

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quote:
Originally posted by chukovsky:
Why didn't you go home and put on some music you did like?

A.N Other was my brother and the barman was my brother-in-law. I tried to go home, as God is my witness I trrrrriiiiiieeeeedd.

"Every time I look into your loving eyes, I see love that money just can't buy...you got it! boom, boom." I sometimes wake up sweating, I do.

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ahhh ... Bisto!


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Sabra
Shipmate
# 2276

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quote:
Highlander 2

Any of the Highlander sequels.

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And You know kings of lands
and grains of sand
and me
and you love me.
~P. Alaniz


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John Donne

Renaissance Man
# 220

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Satan also visits at night, stealing elastin and drawing wrinkles in the corners of one's eyes. And he occasionally sprinkles 'flu germs.
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Arrietty

Ship's borrower
# 45

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And he also blows fat into your cells in the noight - kind of lip-thrustion - so you wake up fatter without eating anything fattening.

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i-church

Online Mission and Ministry

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Gill
Shipmate
# 102

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I'm amazed that none of you have put what is obvious to at least one American Christian I met in france - SATAN is SANTA. Hence his appropriation of the Christmas Festival.

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Still hanging in there...

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Campbellite

Ut unum sint
# 1202

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Now that you mention it, they both do wear red...

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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?

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QLib

Bad Example
# 43

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Campbellite - dig the sig.

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Tradition is the handing down of the flame, not the worship of the ashes Gustav Mahler.

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Annabel_Lee
Apprentice
# 2175

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"The Left Behind" The movie.
Posts: 3 | From: California | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Siegfried
Ship's ferret
# 29

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It's just come to my attention that Satan is also the author of The Black Stallion.

Sieg


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hermit
Shipmate
# 1803

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There is no doubt that Satan has inspired the development of those cheap plastic zippers that jam up so easily, especially the ones on tents that trap you inside just when you develop urgent diarrhea.

The sacred literature of Islam is a fount of useful information concerning the Evil One.
Sahih Muslim, Chapter 6: Book 004, Number 0753:
AbuHuraira reported the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) as saying: When Satan hears the call to prayer, he turns back and breaks the wind (farts) so as not to bear the call being made, but when the call is finished he turns round and distracts (the minds of those who pray), and when he bears the Iqama he again runs away so as not to hear its voice and when it subsides, he comes back and distracts (the minds of those who stand for prayer).

Satan lives in the nose over night. He can be flushed out if you snort water up and then out the nose. (Bukhari vol. IV, no. 516; Muslim vol. I, no. 462)

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"You called out loud and shattered my deafness. You were radiant and resplendent, you put to flight my blindness... You touched me, and I am set on fire to attain that peace which was yours." Confessions, St Augustine


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jlg

What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98

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<sigh>
In my extremely humble opinion (which since we're in hell means don't bother arguing with me because there is no way you can change my mind) Satan is alive and well and using born-again Christians to remind us of his presence in the world.
<sigh>

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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28

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well theres something to be said for the position that satan inspired the anti-harry potter people... discredit a really superior set of books, and make christians look like blooming idiots at the same time

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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!

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simon 2
Shipmate
# 1524

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Many children were lead astray by the amazing street skating of Natas(???) Kaupas. What more proof do you need that it is a rebelious and wrong past time.

Herbal medicine, sex, role play games, heavy metal, punk, tattoos, body piercing, dyed hair, denim jeans, communism, science, police academy films, women with short hair, the NIV, RSV, GNV, the message and ugly people.

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sorry for my spelling and bad gramma


Posts: 495 | From: in a forest | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ginga
Ship's lurker
# 1899

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quote:
Originally posted by simon 2:
heavy metal, punk, tattoos, body piercing, dyed hair, denim jeans, communism, science, police academy films, women with short hair...and ugly people.

<sigh>
Roll on Summer.


Posts: 1075 | From: London | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Callan
Shipmate
# 525

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Thinking for yourself is "not of God"

Women thinking for themselves is definitely the work of Satan.

The most surreal "door to the occult" I have come across is Care Bears. Can anyone trump that?

JK Rowling and the Prophet Mohammed....busy guy.

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How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton


Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
sharkshooter

Not your average shark
# 1589

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quote:
The most surreal "door to the occult" I have come across is Care Bears. Can anyone trump that?


Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

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Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. [Psalm 19:14]


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SteveWal
Shipmate
# 307

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TV programmes about Aleister Crowley that actually take the Great Deluded Beast seriously rather than laugh at him (preferably maniacally) and expose him as a sad sex adict who liked dressing up in capes,
are obviously authored by the Devil as a way of attracting Marilyn Manson fans to dress up in capes and look even stupider.

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If they give you lined paper to write on, write across the lines. (Russian anarchist saying)

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Hope
Shipmate
# 81

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quote:
Originally posted by Yaffle:
The most surreal "door to the occult" I have come across is Care Bears. Can anyone trump that?

My Little Pony. On some very interesting grounds (something to do with "her" being a "Foul Temptress of Lust").

Hope

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"Why does the water glow like that?"
-"The dream magic of the sea."
-"Phosphorescent algae."


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CorgiGreta
Shipmate
# 443

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Satan is indeed a prolific writer. In some Christian circles it is felt that he wrote the majority opinion in a great number of U.S. Supreme Court decisions; was the author of the U.N. charter; inspires most Hollywood (and all European) films; and edits school textbooks. He was behind the first attempt at a "modern" translation of scripture, but appartntly he lost out to the Holy Spirit in subesquent, even more trendy versions, and he was whispering into the Pope's ear at Vatican II. For fun, he does the lyrics for rock, dance, and rap music.

Greta


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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28

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i once read an article that seriously (as opposed to the joke versions) claimed barney the dinosaur was inspired by satan. one example... in the camping episode, the children are told by barney, if they get lost in the woods to hug a tree. (this is pretty standard advice, actually, the idea being, hugging a tree keeps the child from wandering farther away, and making it easier for searchers to find) however, to the author of this article, "tree-hugging" ment barney was influenced by rabid eco-nuts, and we all know that they are all new-age followers, and new age beliefs are all tools of satan. i'm serious, i really read this and it wasn't a joke.

and what about the teletubbies? that whole "tinky-wink (or whatever his name is) is gay" thing... i read stuff then that claimed the teletubbies were part of a secular humanist plot to destroy the fabric of family life.

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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!


Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Chapelhead*

Ship’s Photographer
# 1143

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IIRC in my younger days, besides the whole of the RC and Anglican churches, there was particular concern about Canterbury Cathedral and part of Moorlands Bible College – but don’t tell Wibblethorpe.

Oh, and Trivial Pursuit.

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Benedikt Gott Geschickt!


Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Callan
Shipmate
# 525

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Originally posted by Hope:

quote:
My Little Pony. On some very interesting grounds (something to do with "her" being a "Foul Temptress of Lust").

This has just displaced "You must read all the Bible or you'll suffer social death when you're introduced to the Prophet Habbakuk in the afterlife" as my favourite awful warning.

My thanks to CorgiGreta for the elegant precis of Satan's literary oeuvre to date. Does anyone know why Satan's literary agents invariably credit him with the NIV but never (or rarely) the NEB or the NRSV.

[Still trying to get my head round the idea of some fundamentalist discovering he's kinky for "My Little Pony".]

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How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton


Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
sharkshooter

Not your average shark
# 1589

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Having suffered through Barney and the Teletubbies, I have come to the following conclusion:

Barney the Dinosaur is the Devil himself, and the Teletubbies are his little demons!

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Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. [Psalm 19:14]


Posts: 7772 | From: Canada; Washington DC; Phoenix; it's complicated | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Poppy

Ship's dancing cat
# 2000

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Forget Teletubbies and Barney, the true spawn of Satan are the Pokemon. The fights in my house over trading cards have to be seen to be believed.

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At the still point of the turning world - there the dance is...

Posts: 1406 | From: mostly on the edge | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
Panurge
Shipmate
# 1556

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According to some (sadly deluded) people over at slashdot.org, Satan is responsible for Microsoft products. So stop reading this right now, and put an axe right through your monitor.

Disclaimer for US readers: Any advice in this message is carried out entirely at the reader's discretion. The reader assumes all liability whatsoever, including that for disposing of nose hairs and navel fluff. No responsibility for any damage, whether immediate, collateral, or by friendly fire is implied, assumed, or fed in bits into a liquidiser by the author. This posting must not be used as part of a life support system or part of a misguided attempt to put a bunny rabbit on Mars, without the written authority of at least 3 members of the Supreme Court who believe that Clinton was the spawn of Satan plus the signature of the author voluntarily written in dragon's blood on a certificate for 5000000 Enron shares and witnessed by the Attorney General for the State of Delaware.
ACCEPT DECLINE MEGO


Posts: 267 | From: Wessex | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Scarlet

Mellon Collie
# 1738

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speaking of Aleister Crowley......SATAN, in the guise of Jimmy Page, wrote all of Led Zeppilin's music and lyrics.

According to half of the Christians in my office (we are supposedly a Christian business)....SATAN keeps making our key administrative people sick, so that we are kept from accomplishing anything. thereby allowing me time to visit SOF....what kind of plot is that???

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They took from their surroundings what was needed... and made of it something more.
—dialogue from Primer


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James
Shipmate
# 495

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quote:
Tony cannot actually write at all

What the hell would you need a puppet that could write for?

And the truly, truly most evil thing in the world at the minute IMHO is.....pop idol/pop stars/look_at_my_amusingly_regional_accent_and_stutter manufactured music grrrrr.

(Apologies to non-UK people pop idol/stars is a supremely annoying TV show where 'ordinary' people, read fame hungry money grabbing gimps, are turned into stars)


Posts: 138 | From: Durham, UK | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Hooker's Trick

Admin Emeritus and Guardian of the Gin
# 89

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Satan's Vixens
Posts: 6735 | From: Gin Lane | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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quote:
Originally posted by Hooker's Trick:
Satan's Vixens

Nooooooo! Tu autem effugare, diabole!

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Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged



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