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» Ship of Fools   » Ship's Locker   » Limbo   » Hell: Could it be... SATAN? (Page 2)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Hell: Could it be... SATAN?
simon 2
Shipmate
# 1524

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HeMan, The Magic Roundabout, Grange Hill, Johnny Cash, Star Wars (new age). Any worhsip music that isn't more than a hundred years old obviusly has the spirit of rock and a roll, what wickedness and rebelion.

My Little Pony is great, all those rubbery little horses and flammable manes, neigh neigh, Im off to play.

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sorry for my spelling and bad gramma


Posts: 495 | From: in a forest | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Astro
Shipmate
# 84

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I would recommend My Little Pony's knackers yard complete with rotating knives and toy pet food canning factory.

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if you look around the world today – whether you're an atheist or a believer – and think that the greatest problem facing us is other people's theologies, you are yourself part of the problem. - Andrew Brown (The Guardian)

Posts: 2723 | From: Chiltern Hills | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jonah the Whale

Ship's pet cetacean
# 1244

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None of my three boys are into My Little Pony. This is good bacause my wife has never been able to look at MLP's in the same way after reading one of Frank Piretti's "Darkness" books. A little girl had a familiar spirit which took the form of a blue pony with a purple mane. She knows it's fiction and not a text-book, but My Little Pony still gives her the creeps after that.
Posts: 2799 | From: Nether Regions | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Lovely Doggie
Shipmate
# 2218

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A terribly earnest and pretty Christian girly once told me in all seriousness that friendship bracelets were the work of Satan.

Apparantlt making these little things out of coloured thread and tying them each others wrists was really dangerous. I think it went back to something in one of the minor prophets.

It certainly ruined our afternoon craft plans at girls' summer camp that day.

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And I'm thinking how good it would be to be here some day on a ship called Dignity


Posts: 79 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Callan
Shipmate
# 525

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So, it's the Major Prophets who get to denounce social injustice, tyranny and the worship of Moloch whilst the Minor Prophets get friendship bracelets and the like...

Perhaps there was a Minor Prophets Guild in ancient times where they used to meet up for a couple of bevvies to bitch about how "bloody Micah gets all the glamorous jobs".

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How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton


Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
ChastMastr
Shipmate
# 716

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quote:
Originally posted by El Cooto:
Satan also visits at night, stealing elastin and drawing wrinkles in the corners of one's eyes. And he occasionally sprinkles 'flu germs.

Wow. Sort of like the tooth fairy.

Only, you know, different.

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My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity


Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
tomb
Shipmate
# 174

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As an undergraduate, I became convinced that one day, the Antichrist was going to press a button somewhere and anybody who had ever been through Disney's "It's a small world" exhibit would instantly become enthralled, begin singing that damned little ditty, and set out in a stiff automaton-sort of way to conquer the world for the Forces of Darkness.

Since those days, I have encountered nothing that would dissuade me from this opinion, even though I haven't smoked any stuff in years.

timb


Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ham'n'Eggs

Ship's Pig
# 629

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quote:
Originally posted by sharkshooter:
Barney the Dinosaur is the Devil himself

Uncannily enough, earlier this evening I was feeding Scambled Eggs his choice of tinned pasta (which happened to be Barney flavour), when I noticed that a disproportionate quantity of said pieces of orange slop were in the shape of pentangles

Does anyone know the number of a reliable food exorcist?

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"...the heresies that men do leave / Are hated most of those they did deceive" - Will S


Posts: 3103 | From: Genghis Khan's sleep depot | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Joan the Outlaw-Dwarf

Ship's curiosity
# 1283

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quote:
Originally posted by Lovely Doggie:
A terribly earnest and pretty Christian girly once told me in all seriousness that friendship bracelets were the work of Satan.

So, um, what about the WWJD friendship bracelets??



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"There is a divine discontent which has always helped to better things."


Posts: 1123 | From: Floating in the blue | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
Edward Green
Review Editor
# 46

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quote:
Originally posted by Joan the Dwarf:
So, um, what about the WWJD friendship bracelets??

If they are not the work of Satan I'll eat my birreta.

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blog//twitter//
linkedin


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Campbellite

Ut unum sint
# 1202

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That's because WWJD means:

Who Wants Jack Daniels?

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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?


Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012

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quote:
Originally posted by Campbellite:
That's because WWJD means:

Who Wants Jack Daniels?


Or What Would Jesus Drink? (TM Angel?)

And

quote:
Orriginally posted by Tomb:
Since those days, I have encountered nothing that would dissuade me from this opinion, even though I haven't smoked any stuff in years.

timb


Are you sure timb, ooops, I mean tomb?

Viki

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“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”


Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Robert Armin

All licens'd fool
# 182

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quote:
The most surreal "door to the occult" I have come across is Care Bears. Can anyone trump that?

Frogs

The colour purple. (Not the book, but what you get when you mix blue and red. Apparently demons love it.)

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Keeping fit was an obsession with Fr Moity .... He did chin ups in the vestry, calisthenics in the pulpit, and had developed a series of Tai-Chi exercises to correspond with ritual movements of the Mass. The Antipope Robert Rankin


Posts: 8927 | From: In the pack | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Hooker's Trick

Admin Emeritus and Guardian of the Gin
# 89

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quote:
Who Wants Jack Daniels?

I do.

Jesus would drink gin, of course.

And if daemons love purple, does that mean that Satan inspired Lent?

HT [day 13 with no gin. I believe the last assertion]


Posts: 6735 | From: Gin Lane | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Chapelhead*

Ship’s Photographer
# 1143

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quote:
Originally posted by Hooker's Trick:
And if daemons love purple, does that mean that Satan inspired Lent?

No, because the colour for lent is violet, which was created by God. Purple, on the other hand, may well have been created by satan.

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Benedikt Gott Geschickt!


Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Panurge
Shipmate
# 1556

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I think you will find that Rabelais already suggested, at length, that Satan inspired Lent. (he was a medical doctor as well as a theological radical, and disliked Lent on both grounds.)

Perhaps because of fear of opening the Ship to enormous and prolonged libel actions, no-one else has mentioned directly any large fast food corporates. But I will say, as my own personal and no doubt deluded opinion which has no value whatsoever and which no reasonable person would take seriously for a moment, that I have been twice into the outlets of one particular burger chain in my life and on both occasions was reminded of the vestibule of Hell as described by Dante.


Posts: 267 | From: Wessex | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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quote:
Originally posted by The Wanderer:
The colour purple. (Not the book, but what you get when you mix blue and red. Apparently demons love it.)

I work for an organisation whose corporate colour could reasonably be described as purple. This explains a lot (including the lingering smell of sulphur everywhere...)


Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tubbs

Miss Congeniality
# 440

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I'm going to nominate Pop Idol and Pop Stars ... just because

Tubbs

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"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am


Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Benedictus
Shipmate
# 1215

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You will also notice that on the rapture ready site the Antichrist rating is up. And we all know why, don't we? It is, as any reasonable person knows, because the EU is apparently discussing electing a President.

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Resentment: Me drinking poison and expecting them to die

Posts: 1378 | From: Hertfordshire | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Divine Outlaw
Gin-soaked boy
# 2252

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Bras.

%£&"*~@ing uncomfortable spawns of santa.

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insert amusing sig. here


Posts: 8705 | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Joan the Outlaw-Dwarf

Ship's curiosity
# 1283

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Sorry, the above posting was from me. Divine Outlaw is a boy



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"There is a divine discontent which has always helped to better things."


Posts: 1123 | From: Floating in the blue | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
Divine Outlaw
Gin-soaked boy
# 2252

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Yes, Joan, I am a boy. Cheers for noticing.
Still, you're right about bras. They don't 'arf chaff beneath a cassock.
The work of Santa indeed....

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insert amusing sig. here

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Joan the Outlaw-Dwarf

Ship's curiosity
# 1283

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quote:
Originally posted by Divine Outlaw:

Still, you're right about bras. They don't 'arf chaff beneath a cassock.

Abglo-Catholic boys

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"There is a divine discontent which has always helped to better things."


Posts: 1123 | From: Floating in the blue | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
Joan the Outlaw-Dwarf

Ship's curiosity
# 1283

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quote:
Originally posted by Joan the Dwarf:
Abglo-Catholic boys

Nowt wrong with Anglo-Catholic boys.
Mind you, I never wanted to be an Anglo-Catholic.
I always wanted to be a LUMBERJACK...

(cue music)




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"There is a divine discontent which has always helped to better things."


Posts: 1123 | From: Floating in the blue | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
Divine Outlaw
Gin-soaked boy
# 2252

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Whoops, that was me, sorry dear.
Mistaking myself for a girl, whatever next...

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insert amusing sig. here

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Divine Outlaw
Gin-soaked boy
# 2252

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*Squeaky girly voice*

Oh, DO, and I thought you were so rugged.



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insert amusing sig. here


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Miffy

Ship's elephant
# 1438

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He's implanted the spots on my chin and the side of my nose that have been lurking there since the age of 14. They lie low most of the time nowadays - coming out to take the air only when I wish to look my best. Quite like the old days, really!

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"I don't feel like smiling." "You're English dear; fake it!" (Colin Firth "Easy Virtue")
Growing Greenpatches

Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Joan the Outlaw-Dwarf

Ship's curiosity
# 1283

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quote:
Originally posted by Divine Outlaw:
*Squeaky girly voice*

Oh, DO, and I thought you were so rugged.



OK, my browser obviously does NOT like multiple log-ins . That was me...

Don't worry, tomb, we'll shut up now

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"There is a divine discontent which has always helped to better things."


Posts: 1123 | From: Floating in the blue | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34

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Joan, and Mr Divine Outlaw, I seriously think that you need to get your cookies checked. That or make sure that you know who is logged in before you start posting!

bb


Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Joan the Outlaw-Dwarf

Ship's curiosity
# 1283

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quote:
Originally posted by babybear:
Joan, and Mr Divine Outlaw, I seriously think that you need to get your cookies checked. That or make sure that you know who is logged in before you start posting!

bb


Yes Miss

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"There is a divine discontent which has always helped to better things."


Posts: 1123 | From: Floating in the blue | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
Divine Outlaw
Gin-soaked boy
# 2252

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Mmmmm, cookies...

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insert amusing sig. here

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Hooker's Trick

Admin Emeritus and Guardian of the Gin
# 89

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Miss Dwarf and Mr Outlaw certainly need to get something checked.
Posts: 6735 | From: Gin Lane | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Scarlet

Mellon Collie
# 1738

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quote:
Originally posted by The Wanderer:
Frogs

Frogs ?????

OK, well I knew about owls. Owls are supposed to be demonic and you aren't to have any figurines around of them or pictures.

Likewise, dragons, of course. If you do, it can cause you to become under the influence of SATAN and get sick, lose your faith, go crazy.........

I got this dire information from a seminar on avoiding the occult while attending my local AoG church........

And guess what? When I went to post this to this thread - my computer froze...maybe that's demonic.....to keep you all from learning the truth - so you'll keep your owls, frogs and dragons..

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They took from their surroundings what was needed... and made of it something more.
—dialogue from Primer


Posts: 4769 | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Callan
Shipmate
# 525

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Originally posted by Brodavid (on the seriousish thread):

quote:
I even heard of a Christian who asked his pastor to cast the "demon of imbalance" out of his check-book.

Eureka!!! Suddenly everything falls into place. Presumably I need to be exorcised of the demon of having more month than money!!

(posted to this thread for obvious reasons)

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How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton


Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Olorin
Shipmate
# 2010

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Perhaps I can volunteer my services to exorcise those shipmates who are possessed of more money than sense?
Send cheques to PM address.

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I wrestled with God, and lost by two falls & a submission.

Posts: 390 | From: Hammersmith, London | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
Atticus
Shipmate
# 2212

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I heard my aunt remark (in all seriousness),

"The weather really hasn't been the same since Roe v. Wade."

(for all you brits, that was the 1970's supreme court case that established abortion as a legal practice)

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This time it's for real, I'm really gone until August. For real. Gone. Bye.

"My life would be a lot simpler if I were gay."


Posts: 321 | From: off the deep end | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28

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oh, on one of those "demon-busting" sites, don't they claim that paisley is evil? (the cloth pattern, not ian...) something to do with it benig sperm shaped i think.

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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!

Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Olorin
Shipmate
# 2010

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not Ian?

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I wrestled with God, and lost by two falls & a submission.

Posts: 390 | From: Hammersmith, London | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012

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quote:
Originally posted by nicolemrw:
oh, on one of those "demon-busting" sites, don't they claim that paisley is evil? (the cloth pattern, not ian...) something to do with it benig sperm shaped i think.

And thumb-tacks, dolls, candles, Roman Catholics, your temper (great excuse that one ), children, church and christmas .... to name but a few. The wonderful site is here. They also offer 'The Box' which is apparently the best way to get rid of a demon....
[Pause for thought]
Don't carded players get sent to the box for five minutes etc in ice hockey and that?
[/Pause for thought]

Viki

--------------------
“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”


Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Chapelhead*

Ship’s Photographer
# 1143

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Methinks that there will be a great wailing and gnashing of teeth, however, if the folks at Demonbuster realise how much they have left out - My Little Pony, friendship bracelets, purple etc. Perhaps they are having a problem with demonic interference in their great work.

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Benedikt Gott Geschickt!

Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
simon 2
Shipmate
# 1524

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If you have ever played cricket you will know that The Box is satanicly uncomfortable and unwanted ..... till .... you get a cricket ball to the groin. It then it becomes one of the most inspired pieces of life saving equipment ever.

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sorry for my spelling and bad gramma

Posts: 495 | From: in a forest | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012

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quote:
Originally posted by Chapelhead:
Methinks that there will be a great wailing and gnashing of teeth, however, if the folks at Demonbuster realise how much they have left out - My Little Pony, friendship bracelets, purple etc. Perhaps they are having a problem with demonic interference in their great work.


I would suggest that you email them your ideas Chapelhead, but they might take you seriously.... :roll eyes:

Viki

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“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”


Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
gandalf35
Shipmate
# 934

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And now for the most absurd authorship by Satan: Ship-of-fools, this was an observation by a fundamentalist co-worker who I invited for a lively debate. Oh and he included anything authored by C.S. Lewis.

(Don't worry I killed him myself)

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Life is like a bowl of cherries... Mmmm cherries...


Posts: 185 | From: If hell exists, I live there. | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ham'n'Eggs

Ship's Pig
# 629

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quote:


Who Wants Jack Daniels?

Not me - I have plenty thanks!

--------------------
"...the heresies that men do leave / Are hated most of those they did deceive" - Will S


Posts: 3103 | From: Genghis Khan's sleep depot | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Divine Outlaw
Gin-soaked boy
# 2252

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quote:
Originally posted by Hooker's Trick:
Miss Dwarf and Mr Outlaw certainly need to get something checked.

Thanks for the advice.
The doctor has given me some cream and says it should clear up in a week or two.




--------------------
insert amusing sig. here


Posts: 8705 | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Ultraspike

Incensemeister
# 268

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THE THEOLOGY OF FAT
And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99 cent double cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?" And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds. And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair. And Satan brought forth chocolate And woman gained pounds. And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad." And Satan brought forth ice cream. And woman gained pounds. And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them." And Satan brought forth chicken fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof. And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those
extra pounds. And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained pounds. And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil." And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And Satan saw and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest. And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. And Satan created HMOs.

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A cowgirl's work is never done.

Posts: 2732 | From: NYC | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
ChastMastr
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# 716

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quote:
Originally posted by Poppy:
the true spawn of Satan are the Pokemon.

For those who have not seen it...


Apocamon

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My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity


Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged



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