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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Hell: Liar, Liar, pants on fire.
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
Dear, The Lord my God,
Please could you bring to fruition your prophecy handed down from of old? Please could you make liars pants go on fire? Lord you gave us your Son to be the way, the life and the Truth but every other friking loser has decided to lie to me, they lie about global warming, they lie about wars and rumours of wars, they lie about speed cameras and taxes, they lie about poverty and riches, they lie about sex and about love, they lie and lie and lie.
I spend my whole life being lied at. All I am asking is that if someone lies their pants catch on fire (for our American friends that would be underpants). Your in eager anticipation of tonight’s news (visualising some lying bastard spouting his usual shite when WHOOSH up go his pants). Or even this afternoons chapter meeting (“When I was speaking to the Bishop yesterday…” WHOOSH) . Lord you are a good God and you hear all our prayers please set fire to the genitals of all those people who lie for the “cause.” Amen.
[ 07. June 2005, 14:52: Message edited by: Sarkycow ]
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
He who is without sin cast the first match.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
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Posted
Perhaps Pyx_e has taken the precautinon of not wearing underpants.
Enquiring minds don't want to know.
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Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
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Emma Louise
Storm in a teapot
# 3571
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Posted
its tuesday pyxe... thought the rants started on mondays?
Posts: 12719 | From: Enid Blyton territory. | Registered: Nov 2002
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Liopleurodon
Mighty sea creature
# 4836
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Posted
This close to a general election, there's going to be a roaring inferno at the House of Commons.
ETA: it's Wednesday. But you had me going there for a minute.
[ 13. April 2005, 08:54: Message edited by: nobody calls me mezzo ]
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Our God is an awesome God. Much better than that ridiculous God that Desert Bluffs has. - Welcome to Night Vale
Posts: 1921 | From: Lurking under the ship | Registered: Aug 2003
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Flausa
Mad Woman
# 3466
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Emma.:
its tuesday pyxe... thought the rants started on mondays?
Methinks you are confused. It's actually Wednesday.
Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Ha, Ha! Emma told a lie......
WHOOOOOOOOOSH! ![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Padingtun Bear.
Bear of Very Little Brain
# 3935
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Posted
Oh, give the teapot a break, she's been through a lot lately... and this week seems to be taking forever! I thought it was Thursday.
D'you think now we'll find out which politicians are going commando?
[Do we really want to?]
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Shameless publicity for a great new book:
A voice from the fringe
Posts: 961 | From: South Oxfordshire | Registered: Jan 2003
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
Ha, Ha! Emma told a lie......
WHOOOOOOOOOSH!
That wasn't a lie. It was a mistake.
Anyone who can't tell the difference is, er, lying?
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Pânts*
Ship's underwear
# 4487
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Posted
I want to know which particular lie he's on about!
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I'm not here any more. Dial 999 to get me. (No. Please don't really. Bit you could PM me on my new number cos I never get PMs!)
Posts: 8380 | From: The Stables | Registered: May 2003
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Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
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Posted
On the whole I agree with Pyx_e, though. God seems disappointingly lax in the smiting department. No matter how much we pay in tithes etc, the waiting list to get someone smited just seems to get longer, and that’s particularly galling when the smite-worthy keep coming round asking you to vote for them.
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Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
Hair smells when it burns. Yuk. A pox on you Pyx_e if your wish comes true.
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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Emma Louise
Storm in a teapot
# 3571
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Posted
its wednesday?! ah ok - yay that means desperate housewives is on. Hmmmm and there was me thinking it was tuesday. ho hum!
(When i first saw the title i thought it was a clever calling pants to hell name!)
Posts: 12719 | From: Enid Blyton territory. | Registered: Nov 2002
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Pânts*
Ship's underwear
# 4487
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Emma.:
(When i first saw the title i thought it was a clever calling pants to hell name!)
But why would Pyx_e want to call me to hell? We've never had a bad word to say about each other. ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
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I'm not here any more. Dial 999 to get me. (No. Please don't really. Bit you could PM me on my new number cos I never get PMs!)
Posts: 8380 | From: The Stables | Registered: May 2003
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chapelhead:
On the whole I agree with Pyx_e, though. God seems disappointingly lax in the smiting department.
Send them to the Church of Fools Smiting Department™. They'll know what to do.....
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Anselmina
Ship's barmaid
# 3032
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Left at the Altar:
Hair smells when it burns. Yuk. A pox on you Pyx_e if your wish comes true.
The smell of burning hair would be the least of one's worries, I would have thought ![[Eek!]](eek.gif) !
(Unless you mean it's other people's knickers going up like incendiary devices, and not one's own!)
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Irish dogs needing homes! http://www.dogactionwelfaregroup.ie/ Greyhounds and Lurchers are shipped over to England for rehoming too!
Posts: 10002 | From: Scotland the Brave | Registered: Jul 2002
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Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
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Posted
That light in the East is not the dawn.
It is the White House.
It is east from where I am anyway.
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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
So that's why I saw puffs of smoke on my screen while I was looking at this picture a moment ago.
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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mr cheesy
Shipmate
# 3330
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Posted
Ah. Now I know what is going on in Rome.
When we see the puff of smoke, that won't be the sign of a newly elected pope, but someone lying.
Presumably to the question 'Are you glad you've been elected pope' they'll have replied 'Yes.'
C
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arse
Posts: 10697 | Registered: Sep 2002
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
The media is full of politicians making last minute "promises" just before the election. Stand well clear, it will be an almighty inferno when that lot goes up.......
But....... who will there be left to run the country?
Pyx_e, this is all your fault. For all our sakes' you'll simply have to do it. ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif)
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
I agree and my first decree is :
"More Masses."
P
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
That can be arranged. Masses and Masses of Masses. Coming to a constituency near you.
Vote Pyx_e (in Heaven) ![[Cool]](cool.gif)
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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daisymay
St Elmo's Fire
# 1480
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Posted
So Kilroy wil have to make sure his minders carry fire extinguishers and AirWick anti-stink?
Truth or Lies?
Would he be arrested for streaking?
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London
Flickr fotos
Posts: 11224 | From: London - originally Dundee, Blairgowrie etc... | Registered: Oct 2001
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Pax Romana
Shipmate
# 4653
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
Dear, The Lord my God,
Please could you bring to fruition your prophecy handed down from of old? Please could you make liars pants go on fire?
Where does it say that in the Bible?
I work for a large corporation. I am now expecting our entire building to go POOF at any second, starting with the Executive Floor.
Pax Romana
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I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.
James Thurber
Posts: 4598 | From: New York City | Registered: Jun 2003
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Mad Geo
Ship's navel gazer
# 2939
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chapelhead:
On the whole I agree with Pyx_e, though. God seems disappointingly lax in the smiting department. No matter how much we pay in tithes etc, the waiting list to get someone smited just seems to get longer, and that’s particularly galling when the smite-worthy keep coming round asking you to vote for them.
Oh, I don't know, a quarter million or so wacked by a tsunami doesn't seem like a slow God day to me....
Oh wait, that's a serious answer.
If everybody that lied got their pants torched we'll all go commando. Not that I am against that.
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Diax's Rake - "Never believe a thing simply because you want it to be true"
Posts: 11730 | From: People's Republic of SoCal | Registered: Jun 2002
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Og: Thread Killer
Ship's token CN Mennonite
# 3200
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Posted
Why would underwear catch fire before the pants do?
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I wish I was seeking justice loving mercy and walking humbly but... "Cease to lament for that thou canst not help, And study help for that which thou lament'st."
Posts: 5025 | From: Toronto | Registered: Aug 2002
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Viola
Administrator
# 20
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Og: Thread Killer:
Why would underwear catch fire before the pants do?
In our country the pants are the underwear.
K.
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"If ye love me, keep my commandments" John 14:15
"Commandment number one: shut the hell up." Erin Etheredge 1971-2010
Posts: 4345 | From: West of England | Registered: May 2001
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Og: Thread Killer
Ship's token CN Mennonite
# 3200
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Posted
Lost in Translation
So then, why would the pants catch fire before the...uh....slacks...do?
Friction? VD? Too much thinking going on?
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I wish I was seeking justice loving mercy and walking humbly but... "Cease to lament for that thou canst not help, And study help for that which thou lament'st."
Posts: 5025 | From: Toronto | Registered: Aug 2002
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Pânts*
Ship's underwear
# 4487
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Posted
Farting.
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I'm not here any more. Dial 999 to get me. (No. Please don't really. Bit you could PM me on my new number cos I never get PMs!)
Posts: 8380 | From: The Stables | Registered: May 2003
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Og: Thread Killer
Ship's token CN Mennonite
# 3200
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Posted
Do people still use that word?
I think I've figured it out now:
USA
Underpants - pants
UK
pants - trousers
Canada
underwear - snowmobile suit
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I wish I was seeking justice loving mercy and walking humbly but... "Cease to lament for that thou canst not help, And study help for that which thou lament'st."
Posts: 5025 | From: Toronto | Registered: Aug 2002
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Ronist
Shipmate
# 5343
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Posted
quote:
originally by Pax Romana
Where does it say that in the Bible?
They didn't actually record that prophecy in the bible. They missed a few of them.
OG.
You wear your snowmobile suit under your clothes?! I've never seen that. On the other hand
I've never been to Toronto. Do you have a lighter snowmobile suit for summer?
Posts: 827 | From: Vancouver Canada | Registered: Dec 2003
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Og: Thread Killer
Ship's token CN Mennonite
# 3200
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ronist:
.....
You wear your snowmobile suit under your clothes?! I've never seen that. On the other hand
I've never been to Toronto. Do you have a lighter snowmobile suit for summer?
We wear long underwear, and then our snowmobile suits. In the summer we just wear the long underwear, but the wife, she not happy, so I make sure i wash it once a month. Never seen it catch on fire though.
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I wish I was seeking justice loving mercy and walking humbly but... "Cease to lament for that thou canst not help, And study help for that which thou lament'st."
Posts: 5025 | From: Toronto | Registered: Aug 2002
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Ronist
Shipmate
# 5343
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Posted
Which is important.
These are very similar to the practices in the Yukon. I didn't realize Toronto followed similar customs.
[ 14. April 2005, 20:18: Message edited by: Ronist ]
Posts: 827 | From: Vancouver Canada | Registered: Dec 2003
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kentishmaid
Shipmate
# 4767
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Posted
And to confuse matters still further, in the North West of England, pants DO mean trousers.
Perhaps the fire could be metaphorical and it could merely make the victim feel a sudden urge to attend their local GUM clinic?
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"Who'll be the lady, who'll be the lord, when we are ruled by the love of one another?"
Posts: 2063 | From: Huddersfield | Registered: Jul 2003
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sharkshooter
Not your average shark
# 1589
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Padingtun Bear.:
...D'you think now we'll find out which politicians are going commando?
...
That would be all the ones that talk.
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Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. [Psalm 19:14]
Posts: 7772 | From: Canada; Washington DC; Phoenix; it's complicated | Registered: Oct 2001
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luvanddaisies
the'fun'in'fundie'™
# 5761
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Posted
[visual aid] [/visual aid]
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"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." (Mark Twain)
Posts: 3711 | From: all at sea. | Registered: Apr 2004
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HopPik
Shipmate
# 8510
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pânts:
Farting.
Farting near a naked flame... maybe.
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Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and supposedly the pig enjoys it. G.B. Shaw
Posts: 2084 | From: London | Registered: Sep 2004
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The Bede's American Successor
Curmudgeon-in-Training
# 5042
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by HopPik:
quote:
Originally posted by Pânts:
Farting.
Farting near a naked flame... maybe.
Only if wearing a kilt.
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This was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride of wealth and food in plenty, comfort and ease, and yet she never helped the poor and the wretched.
—Ezekiel 16.49
Posts: 6079 | From: The banks of Possession Sound | Registered: Oct 2003
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
I notice that it is a whole week since Pyx_e has contributed to this thread. Has he spontaneously combusted, perchance?
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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HopPik
Shipmate
# 8510
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Posted
Just smouldering quietly in a corner,
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Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and supposedly the pig enjoys it. G.B. Shaw
Posts: 2084 | From: London | Registered: Sep 2004
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