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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Hell: My dignity does not allow me to stand this situation
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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784
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Posted
My God. The drama. The almost dizzying intensity. The deep and lurking mystery. How much longer can this go on without someone rising up and putting a stop to it?
I mean, of course, as everyone knows, the goings on at the Chess match in Russia. Just exactly how long is the world going to stand by while this Russian menace, Vladimir Kramnik, continue to take potty breaks in the middle of his chess games? He is up to 50 a game.
The horror. The horror.
And now, they want them to both use the same toilet.
I just cannot imagine the cruelty.
[ 23. November 2006, 11:15: Message edited by: Sarkycow ]
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002
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Zorro
Shipmate
# 9156
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Posted
Is this a joke or something? I mean it's hardly outrageous, is it?
We don't know how long the games lasted either. If we're talking weeks, then it's not that shocking.
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It is so hard to believe, because it is so hard to obey. Soren Kierkegaard
Well, churches really should be like sluts; take everyone no matter who they are or whether they can pay. Spiffy da wondersheep
Posts: 2568 | From: Baja California (actually the UK but that's where my fans know me from) | Registered: Mar 2005
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Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823
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Posted
Who gives a shit?
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How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.
Danny DeVito
Posts: 4363 | From: where the taxis won't go | Registered: Sep 2006
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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784
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Posted
Lord, you two are twinkies.
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002
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Flausa
Mad Woman
# 3466
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Posted
quote:
Mr Kramnik "takes his most significant decisions in a toilet"
Let's see ... who does that remind me of on the Ship.
Posts: 4610 | From: bonny Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002
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Pheonix
Twisted fire starter
# 2782
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Flausa:
quote:
Mr Kramnik "takes his most significant decisions in a toilet"
Let's see ... who does that remind me of on the Ship.
I'd have thought it would have been quicker and easier to think of those who didn't...
Posts: 2384 | From: on the move. | Registered: May 2002
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Zorro
Shipmate
# 9156
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Posted
quote:
Lord, you two are twinkies.
I know. That said, understanding this thread seems to be enough to guarantee you entry to MENSA.
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It is so hard to believe, because it is so hard to obey. Soren Kierkegaard
Well, churches really should be like sluts; take everyone no matter who they are or whether they can pay. Spiffy da wondersheep
Posts: 2568 | From: Baja California (actually the UK but that's where my fans know me from) | Registered: Mar 2005
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Zorro:
quote:
Lord, you two are twinkies.
I know. That said, understanding this thread seems to be enough to guarantee you entry to MENSA.
Because you don't get it does not mean you are stupid. It means something else. Twinkie.
P
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Zorro
Shipmate
# 9156
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Posted
My brain hurts.
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It is so hard to believe, because it is so hard to obey. Soren Kierkegaard
Well, churches really should be like sluts; take everyone no matter who they are or whether they can pay. Spiffy da wondersheep
Posts: 2568 | From: Baja California (actually the UK but that's where my fans know me from) | Registered: Mar 2005
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
Undo your shoe laces.
P
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Zorro
Shipmate
# 9156
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Posted
Ha ha.
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It is so hard to believe, because it is so hard to obey. Soren Kierkegaard
Well, churches really should be like sluts; take everyone no matter who they are or whether they can pay. Spiffy da wondersheep
Posts: 2568 | From: Baja California (actually the UK but that's where my fans know me from) | Registered: Mar 2005
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Mad Geo
Ship's navel gazer
# 2939
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Posted
Mensa to the third grade in 13 minutes.
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Diax's Rake - "Never believe a thing simply because you want it to be true"
Posts: 11730 | From: People's Republic of SoCal | Registered: Jun 2002
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
There aren't geniuses in the 3rd grade? Your ageism is showing.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Mad Geo
Ship's navel gazer
# 2939
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Posted
I can't help it if your old. ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
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Diax's Rake - "Never believe a thing simply because you want it to be true"
Posts: 11730 | From: People's Republic of SoCal | Registered: Jun 2002
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
If my old what?
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
Ah so, my arch-nemesis, Tortuf, once again dares to violate the unspoken line in the sand. I've been silently tolerating your petty machinations long enough, you smack-talking buffoon. Because of your cruelty regarding this incredibly important match - a match that was supposed to unite the chess world! - you have finally succeeded in calling me out.
So be it. Pick your weapons, you barbed-hook-using "catch and release" fisherman.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
the unspoken line in the sand.
Just out of curiosity, what would a spoken line in the sand sound like?
I take it the unvoiced suspicion (which, if voiced, would sound like 'Hmmmmmmmm') is that he has a computer in the bog and is looking up the answers.
Did you know, there was a chess master who sustained a broken leg as a result of playing?
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
kicked the table?
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Nearly.
In his concentration, he had been sitting with his leg wound round the leg of his chair. When he realised he'd made the winning move, he leaped up in exultation - without, however, unwinding his leg.
Dangerous sport, chess.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Janine
The Endless Simmer
# 3337
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Posted
Tell the dude to wear a catheter and strap on some Depends fer God's sake. And finish the bloody match so people watching can, like, have a life.
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I'm a Fundagelical Evangimentalist. What are you?
Take Me Home * My Heart * An hour with Rich Mullins *
Posts: 13788 | From: Below the Bible Belt | Registered: Sep 2002
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
quote:
Originally posted by Zorro:
quote:
Lord, you two are twinkies.
I know. That said, understanding this thread seems to be enough to guarantee you entry to MENSA.
Because you don't get it does not mean you are stupid. It means something else. Twinkie.
Zorro-n00b is stupid also.
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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Erroneous Monk
Shipmate
# 10858
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Posted
Would think the frequent toilet breaks are at least forestalling a re-run of Fischer-Spassky 1972. Spassky claimed inter alia that bad smells were emanating from Fischer's chair.
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And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die.
Posts: 2950 | From: I cannot tell you, for you are not a friar | Registered: Jan 2006
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
Is RooK a King's RooK or a Queen's RooK? Where is Sine when you need him?
P
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784
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Posted
No fair RooK, I was just taking a break from a visit to a college with the oldest. I could not reply because I was on the road.
Now that I am back, I see I will need to go fishing before replying to you. With barbless hooks. So there.
At least I won't use any little furry animals as bait. Probably.
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002
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Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Posy:
Would think the frequent toilet breaks are at least forestalling a re-run of Fischer-Spassky 1972. Spassky claimed inter alia that bad smells were emanating from Fischer's chair.
The Soviet delegation to the '72 match accused Fischer of far worse emanations from his chair than malodors. From Bobby Fischer's Pathetic Endgame - an interesting story of his descent into madness and paranoia:
quote:
... Distressed at their countryman's poor showing, members of the Soviet delegation began to make their own unreasonable demands, hoping to unnerve Fischer. They accused him of using a concealed device to interfere with Spassky's brain waves. The match was halted while police officers searched the playing hall. Fischer's chair was taken apart, light fixtures were dismantled, the entire auditorium was swept for suspicious electronic signals. Nothing was found. (In a subsequent investigation a Soviet chemist waved a plastic bag around the stage and then sealed it for lab analysis. The label affixed to the bag read "Air from stage.")
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--Formerly: Gort--
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Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
It seems Mr. Fischer is now an Icelandic citizen having been granted asylum from US prosecution in March '05... this after nine months in Japanese detention. The Feds want him for violating trade sanctions against Yugoslavia in 1992! We'll get that creepy, old, bearded anti-semite eventually, even if it takes a crack unit of commandos under cover of darkness.
Let this be a lesson to you innocent children out there. Don't obsess over games of memory and strategy.
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--Formerly: Gort--
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
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RuthW
liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13
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Posted
Pawn to Queen 2 seems impossible, actually, given that pawns all start in the second rank and can't move backward. To make that move the pawn would have to be coming back the other way after having been queened, in which case it wouldn't be a pawn any more. (A more experienced chess player may correct me, of course.)
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
God. People who can exchange chess jokes fill me with jealousy.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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MrSponge2U
Ship’s scrub
# 3076
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Posted
Maybe next time Mr. Kramnik needs to visit the toilet, his opponent can switch to using this chess set. Sometimes radical steps must be taken to preserve the dignity of this Sport of Kings.
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sig? what sig?
Posts: 3558 | From: where two big rivers meet | Registered: Jul 2002
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Bean Sidhe
Shipmate
# 11823
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
God. People who can exchange chess jokes fill me with jealousy.
Did you hear the one about the Rook and the Bishop?
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How do you know when a politician is lying?
His lips are moving.
Danny DeVito
Posts: 4363 | From: where the taxis won't go | Registered: Sep 2006
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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784
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Posted
Castling aside any other considerations, RooK, your unwarranted straight line attack left me feeling under siege. Simple chariot would dictate that you not make me a pawn in your little games.
I have spoken to my bishop about you and he says that I should pray for you every knight.
I just want you to know that you are in danger, mate.
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
God. People who can exchange chess jokes fill me with jealousy.
ya'll know why us Episcopalians can't play chess, right?
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Loquacious beachcomber
Shipmate
# 8783
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Posted
A question for all of you:
If this thread is all about playing Bridge, why isn't it in the Circus?
Seriously.
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TODAY'S SPECIAL - AND SO ARE YOU (Sign on beachfront fish & chips shop)
Posts: 5954 | From: Southeast of Wawa, between the beach and the hiking trail.. | Registered: Nov 2004
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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784
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Posted
Bridge?
This thread is all about RooK.
Did you know that RooK has been the driving force behind every single philatelic experience in the United States since June 12, 1987?
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002
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Janine
The Endless Simmer
# 3337
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Posted
Every philatetic...
Yeesh! Does everything have to revolve around a guy's... First Issues?
Sometimes postage is just postage, y'know.
Posts: 13788 | From: Below the Bible Belt | Registered: Sep 2002
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fabula rasa
Shipmate
# 11436
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by cometchaser:
ya'll know why us Episcopalians can't play chess, right?
OK, comet, I'll bite.
Why can't Episcopalians play chess?
Posts: 465 | From: scepter'd isle | Registered: May 2006
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Zappa:
No - you're quite correct. I was being subtly ironic ( ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif) though actually it's the title of an obscure New Zeland play about two gay guys who adopt a child).
I knew it sounded familiar, I saw that play at Downstage years ago - by Joe Musaphia (sp) and starring him and ?Ray Henward.
But, knowing less than nothing about chess I thought Pawn to Queen 2 was a winning move ![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif)
Huia
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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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Tortuf
Ship's fisherman
# 3784
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Posted
Back to important stuff.
Vladimir Kramnik has written an open letter to
Kirsan Iljumzhinov (FIDE President - quit asking) about the largest potty break scandal ever recorded. Details here. The agony Vladimir Kramnik has gone through led him to write this to get it out of his system. The words are not your usual pissing and moaning.
quote:
Clause 3.17.1., Schedule 2 of the contract: "All protests must be submitted in writing to the Appeals Committee not more than 2 hours after the relevant playing session."
The protest made by the Topalov Team were not made within this window after game 4 (27 September 2006) but only hit the FIDE Office and the Appeals Committee on the rest day (28 September 2006). Therefore the protests are not even relevant and should have been rejected by the Appeals Committee immediately.
How people can stand by and not light a candle about all this is just beyond me.
Vladimir should be flush with victory. Instead, he is having to paper over the entire mess.
BTW, it's all RooK's fault.
Posts: 6963 | From: The Venice of the South | Registered: Dec 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Tortuf:
Vladimir should be flush with victory. Instead, he is having to paper over the entire mess.
![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif) Shameless.
quote:
BTW, it's all RooK's fault.
Most things are.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
I think you'll find that everything is my fault. The fact that very few of you can manage to notice that anything is my fault mostly just demonstrates how blithely oblivious to reality you are.
Nevertheless, I feel it is my duty to confront Tortuf about this outrageous indignity. Consider that my idiomatic connection to chess is clearly obvious, and that the rather shitty implications of this thread leave everybody, save only the dimmest of fools, reeling with contretemps and other euphemisms. You know what I mean, you sick bastard. If you had an iota of honour or respectability, you would flog yourself with chain of rusty razor blades. Not those cheap Gillette ones neither.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
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Posted
What a game for geeks.
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♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
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RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
...says the vendor of computer software. Care to try on definition #3 for size? It's probably stretchy enough to fit you.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by fabula rasa:
quote:
Originally posted by cometchaser:
ya'll know why us Episcopalians can't play chess, right?
OK, comet, I'll bite.
Why can't Episcopalians play chess?
can't tell the difference between a Bishop and a Queen.
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
back to your... whatever we have going on here.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Patdys
Iron Wannabe
RooK-Annoyer
# 9397
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
I think you'll find that everything is my fault. The fact that very few of you can manage to notice that anything is my fault mostly just demonstrates how blithely oblivious to reality you are.
The problem of RooKodicy; The problem of good existing in a world where there is an all powerful evil being. Krapton clarifies the problem of Rookodicy with four statements.
RooK exists.
RooK is Evil.
RooK is all powerful.
Good exists.
There is an inherent contradiction between any three and the fourth statement. Atheism denies the first, believing RooK does not exist. Pantheism discounts the second, not accepting the evilness of RooK. Polytheism and Modern Naturalism deny the third and Idealism the fourth. Rookianity affirms all four denying logical contradiction yet manipulates one or more definitions allowing the necessary ambiguity to accept all the seemingly contradictory truths (1994:129).
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Marathon run. Next Dream. Australian this time.
Posts: 3511 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I want your babies, PATDYS.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Oh, it's just an expression, for God's sake. Carry on with the highbrow insults.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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