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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: HEAVEN: Keyboard deficiency
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
I noticed today that the character that should appear between K and M on my keyboard has disappeared off the keyboard as if it never was.
I didn't think anything of this at first, then it occurred to me what the consequences were and they have ramifications.
The year is now shortened to just 10 months, and at midday, there's now just a snack. I'm guessing that has to be eaten out of a carton or packet as the crockery that used to be used can't be.
Journeys are now more tricky than you might think (the chief city of this country might just have to be renamed, otherwise ignored). The future can't be discussed (but everybody is safe as you now have to end up in Heaven). And I can't even sign my own name.
Your thoughts on the further consequences of this missing character are invited...
[ 24. March 2016, 09:20: Message edited by: Firenze ]
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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georgiaboy
Shipmate
# 11294
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Posted
What keyboard are you using? There's nothing between K (2nd row) and M (1st row) diagonally on the qwerty set-up, which is pretty standard. You seem to be referring to 'L', which is just to the right of 'K'.
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You can't retire from a calling.
Posts: 1675 | From: saint meinrad, IN | Registered: Apr 2006
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
quote:
Ariel: Your thoughts on the further consequences of this missing character are invited...
I hate to inform you of this, but you don't exist anymore.
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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Beenster
Shipmate
# 242
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Posted
You can only go to Heaven, not Hell.
Christmas and Birthdays and Easters are still up and we will have a vacation.
Posts: 1885 | Registered: May 2001
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
quote:
Ariel: I know. But neither do you.
Darn!
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
There can be pancakes on Shrove Tuesday (sugar but you might have to make do with grapefruit or orange instead) but no period of penance afterwards.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
The greatest gift of the spirit Paul mentions doesn't exist any more ![[Waterworks]](graemlins/bawling.gif)
(heaven knows why this was my first thought).
I do though ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
Huia
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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
Harry Potter (and Pigwidgeon!) would exist -- but someone would have to write about them. Our family of red-headed friends would be gone. ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
Mr. Shakespeare would have to change his first name.
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Huia:
... Paul ...
Who?
There's friendship, romance and sex, agape and eros, desire, attraction and passion. It would be a bit wordy putting that on a greetings card on 14 February but the point could be got across.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
quote:
Ariel: … would … could …
What?
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
quote:
Ariel: … would … could …
What?
Oh fracking pit of doom. I thought I'd checked that post with care.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
quote:
First posted by someone:
Oh fracking pit of doom. I thought I'd checked that post with care.
Hehe, it's more diffi… comp… harder than you think.
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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mark_in_manchester
not waving, but...
# 15978
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Posted
This idea turns up as a kind of joke in my favourite nove... story book. It's about an American preacher in the 1950s, but I can offer you neither its title, nor the first name of the author whose surname is Robinson.
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"We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard
(so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)
Posts: 1596 | Registered: Oct 2010
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
Hehe, you missed one.
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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mark_in_manchester
not waving, but...
# 15978
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Posted
Bum. '...neither the name which graces its paper covers, nor...'
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"We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard
(so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)
Posts: 1596 | Registered: Oct 2010
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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505
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Posted
Banner Woman checking in.... Arie, how fortunate you are: on my keyboard the E is fast disappearing!
I thought this might be a thread on pc user probs and wanted to say I have a demonic mouse, which makes navigating very tricky sometimes. Must get around to investing in a new one soon. Maybe then I can score better in The Crews Quiz each day....
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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.
Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005
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Rev per Minute
Shipmate
# 69
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Posted
As we can have only ten months, it is fitting that there is nothing between March and May, and June and August. The days of the week are not affected, nor are the seasons.
In the debates on administration and finances in this nation, there remain only two parties (Conservatives and UKIP) as the other UK parties have ceased to be. There are no separatist movements in Great Britain as the four nations of the UK do not exist, nor does the northern province of the western part of the separate land masses to the north-west of Europe.
To add to UKIP joy, Germany can exist in the majority tongue of this country but not in its own. A number of member states face the reverse issue, such as Suomi. Some disappear into their own contradictions.
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"Allons-y!" "Geronimo!" "Oh, for God's sake!" The Day of the Doctor
At the end of the day, we face our Maker alongside Jesus. RIP ken
Posts: 2696 | From: my desk (if I can find the keyboard under this mess) | Registered: May 2001
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
I am fortunate in my continued existence, notwithstanding the missing item. It is intriguing to find that a previous idea of mine is being resurrected.
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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
In the woods nothing weeps by the brook; at Christmas there's not much wherewith to deck somewhere you don't have.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Rev per Minute
Shipmate
# 69
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Posted
quote:
Once posted by Rev per Minute:
There are no separatist movements in Great Britain as the four nations of the UK do not exist, nor does the northern province of the western part of the separate land masses to the north-west of Europe.
My mistake - Cymru continues, as it has since the Romans, and so does Eíre.
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"Allons-y!" "Geronimo!" "Oh, for God's sake!" The Day of the Doctor
At the end of the day, we face our Maker alongside Jesus. RIP ken
Posts: 2696 | From: my desk (if I can find the keyboard under this mess) | Registered: May 2001
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
I'm worried about the Hoy Spirit, the Ord our God, the God of Profound Attachment, or maybe the God of Great Esteeming*
*If memory serves. someone said they esteemed another rather much in Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility, the steemiest moment in a story of starchy unsteamy people wearing way too many clothes. Nice hair though.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Rev per Minute:
quote:
Once posted by Rev per Minute:
There are no separatist movements in Great Britain as the four nations of the UK do not exist, nor does the northern province of the western part of the separate land masses to the north-west of Europe.
My mistake - Cymru continues, as it has since the Romans, and so does Eíre.
What is this "*and mass" of which you speak?
[ 28. January 2016, 00:01: Message edited by: Uncle Pete ]
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Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
quote:
First posted by someone:
Oh fracking pit of doom. I thought I'd checked that post with care.
Hehe, it's more diffi… comp… harder than you think.
It is too!
Huia
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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
In the woods nothing weeps by the brook; at Christmas there's not much wherewith to deck somewhere you don't have.
And yet it has now come to be the time of Noe "L" without end in one part of the UK...
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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.
Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
From the OP:
quote:
at midday, there's now just a snack. I'm guessing that has to be eaten out of a carton or packet as the crockery that used to be used can't be.
We could revert to breakfast, dinner, tea and supper eaten off trenchers.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
It even ruins the Two Ronnies' attempt to teach a basic greeting in Swedish.
Can we nominate, each week, a different sub-unit of the constituents of the tongue with which we speak and write, as that which is to be omitted in the future?
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Or porringers (of which I find the quaich to be an instance).
Coffee (minus dairy), orange juice, toast, butter, marmite are to be had. Soups and sandwiches - mostly, but who is going to miss the bit of soggy green between the bacon and tomato? For dinner, abundance of chicken and beef and pork and, if we're content to wait a bit, mutton. The roots are present - potato, carrot, parsnip, onion (and what is missing won't be missed by the westward nation that doesn't exist).
We must make do with cucumber in our G&T and the mohito is no more but them's the knocks.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
Dishes are an option. There are knives, forks and spoons, but water has to be heated in a pot on the stove and you can't get out of washing up.
And you have to hope that your rubbish is taken away, which must now be at infrequent, odd times, as the rota for doing so at fixed times during a month can't be a rota any more.
Christmas can continue to happen, the customary foods can be served with the exception of pudding, there can even be a decorated tree (without shiny strands) but you can't go to church for a Christmas song service. You have to go just for the mince pies and forego the hot spiced booze.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
I'm going to need a big quantity of booze, because my adopted country doesn't exist anymore
(And what *are* the inhabitants of this country going to do in February??)
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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Dafyd
Shipmate
# 5549
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
There are knives, forks and spoons, but water has to be heated in a pot on the stove and you can't get out of washing up.
You can use a dishwasher even so, can't you?
Although I suppose you do need a new kind of soap to put in the dishwasher together with the dirty things to remove the dirt. You need a new kind of soap for the sink to remove the dirt in the sink too.
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we remain, thanks to original sin, much in love with talking about, rather than with, one another. Rowan Williams
Posts: 10567 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Feb 2004
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
Today, my fair state does not exist. I guess that's OK, since a great amount of rain has descended from the sky. The ground is sinking, or appears to do so, under the knee deep and rising waters. Which reminds me that the Good Book is missing some stories that recount great rains, trees of knowing, and the Sea where Jesus hung out.
Is the missing character gone for good?
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
Detergent provides the washing options, I think. But on most concern to me is missing a room for human waste disposing.
I presume in February we might make do with an eap day, or just an extended month.
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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Schroedinger's cat:
But on most concern to me is missing a room for human waste disposing.
What's wrong with a bog, WC, powder room (or gents'), khazi or pissoir? Just don't opt for the Americanism of bathroom.
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
quote:
Christmas can continue to happen, the customary foods can be served with the exception of pudding, there can even be a decorated tree (without shiny strands) but you can't go to church for a Christmas song service. You have to go just for the mince pies and forego the hot spiced booze.
Rejoice! No more services centred on oranges skewered with toothpicks and decorated with ribbons and sweeties!
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505
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Posted
But I can have Evensong instead. Even in the far antipodes, in the country of Oz (or Austraya ) I may keep my worship habits. Prayer and praise continues, as do works of mercy and compassion. I can take communion but must stand in the somewhat emptier sanctuary. The eucharist can be given by cup and paten, but not from a tab*le or a*tar. What must we use? And what of sa*vation?
We may not study theo*ogy any more. 0r any o*ogy for that matter. Universities abound but not schoo*s. Where can I go for education? And what subjects remain?
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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.
Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
You could study French, German, Spanish, Russian, Arabic, Chinese or Ancient Greek; history, geography, physics, chemistry or mathematics. They might have to be intensive weekend or evening courses.
How cars can move without round things or any of that substance you have to pour into them is anybody's guess. Maybe hoverboards are the shape of the future. Or we go back to riding horses.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
quote:
How cars can move without ...any of that substance you have to pour into them is anybody's guess.
Ship them to America where they can run on gas.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
You can have God the Father, Jesus the Son and the Spirit (albeit not so set apart), so what more do you need?
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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Schroedinger's cat:
You can have God the Father, Jesus the Son and the Spirit (albeit not so set apart), so what more do you need?
I suppose the god of those sometimes referred to as Mohammedeans is reduced to an expression of anguish and the spaghetti monster is grounded.
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Rev per Minute
Shipmate
# 69
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Uncle Pete:
quote:
Originally posted by Rev per Minute:
quote:
Once posted by Rev per Minute:
There are no separatist movements in Great Britain as the four nations of the UK do not exist, nor does the northern province of the western part of the separate land masses to the north-west of Europe.
My mistake - Cymru continues, as it has since the Romans, and so does Eíre.
What is this "*and mass" of which you speak?
Groan... ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
Perhaps I meant the areas of ground above the see which are not as massive as the masses next to them ![[Help]](graemlins/help.gif)
And you, Pete, may be my father's brother but you may not use the description which you have used above...
Posts: 2696 | From: my desk (if I can find the keyboard under this mess) | Registered: May 2001
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Rev per Minute:
Perhaps I meant the areas of ground above the see which are not as massive as the masses next to them
Mm yes. How might one get to them? The country of Eireann is a bit out on its own and the UK is cut off from Europe. Boats can't boat across, aircraft can't aircraft their way, there are no trains, and you can't drive.
Having said that, I suppose you could row, or punt across if the weather was decent. If you had the physique, you might even swim.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
I am most concerned about Cymru which, though continuing to exist, has been deprived of the majority of its towns and cities.
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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
Scotia retains Aberdeen, Edinburgh, Inverness, Perth and Dundee. The Dear Green Place is toast, though.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
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Posted
I am just going to go back to inverted typewriter ski11s. It is easy for those of a certain age.
Jengie
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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Schroedinger's cat:
I am most concerned about Cymru which, though continuing to exist, has been deprived of the majority of its towns and cities.
Cardiff, Swansea, Carmarthen, Aberystwyth, Newport and the Brecon Beacons can be visited and indeed by train or car. You might have to catch the ferry to Eireann or Mann from some other departure point, though.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
It's strange that some of the spectrum shades have disappeared. The ones near indigo are my very favorites, and the one with which buttercups are tinted (between orange and green) are gone! This is sad. What can we do? Are there to be great gaping spaces in rainbows?
My home and car are now without tint. You might not think it's devastating, but how am I to know which is my house?
Those missing characters are sneaky, and are trying to escape into this post.
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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Drifting Star
Drifting against the wind
# 12799
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Posted
In fact Cymru does keep every one of its cities - Bangor, Cardiff, Newport, St Davids, St Asaph and Swansea remain open for business.
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The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Heraclitus
Posts: 3126 | From: A thin place. | Registered: Jul 2007
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
quote:
First posted by Drifting Star:
In fact Cymru does keep every one of its cities - Bangor, Cardiff, Newport, St Davids, St Asaph and Swansea remain open for business.
That may prove fortunate as there are very few shrunken towns remaining.
--------------------
Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
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