Ship of Fools: Recently diagnosed Aspie

Thread: Recently diagnosed Aspie Board: All Saints / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

That's me. A very late diagnosis indeed, but it has proved extremely helpful - for a start, it explains an awful lot!

I hope this thread will be a place where we can support each other, and hear from fellow Aspies who have known about themselves for longer, and have had practice in walking the walk.

Posted by amber. (# 11142) on :

Welcome to the fine world of autism.

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

Hugs. I am undoubtedly Aspergic, but not to an extent that requires anything other than a job in computing (which I have, so that is fine).

I think, finding places and environments that are tolerable is important. It is a diagnosis that means you need to adapt your lifestyle somewhat, but it is something you are perfectly able to live with, in the real world.

Hugs (again).

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

Things finally got too much, what with things constantly changing at work. Being only 20 months from retirement age I took the easy option.

I have no routine for now, which is difficult, and without having work colleagues I have to find a new social circle. That is not easy.

I have not replied much to the previous autism spectrum threads. Whenever people say Aspies/High functioning autistics do this or that I want to say, "I don't." But that is the problem with a spectrum, we are all different and can at best talk about similarities.

Just how social awkwardness, to name one of the similarities, pans out in practise varies a lot. I dislike parties, but usually find someone who will talk with me away from the main indecipherable din (it is to me). Different voices from different directions, I cut that down by heading to a corner. I hope so, I have a firework party next Saturday.

Anyway, enough of my ramblings.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

So many things fell into place. It's pleasant to realise that I was only partially a bolshie adolescent; the other part was Aspie logic. It could be, though, that in the 1960s they were hard to tell apart.

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
Aspie logic.

Is that the once you have worked it out you find it very hard to admit you are wrong type of Aspie logic? If so, that's two of us.

[ 28. October 2017, 22:40: Message edited by: balaam ]

Posted by Ian Climacus (# 944) on :

Best wishes jacobsen, and amber., SC and balaam, and all.

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

Everyone is different. Everyone with a particular condition is different. A diagnosis is ver yuseful to help indicate possible factors, but you so have to work out your own way of coping, of handling the dstinctiveness of your brain functioning.

Did you see the Chris Packham documentary. I found it intriguing, in his insights and his ability to manage his distinctiveness.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

I like that word distinctiveness. Yes, I saw the programme. He certainly found a way through, albeit with some pain.

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

It's still on i>player, watch it.

I like the bit where he was saying that his brain is always going on three things at once, and that he can go off on a monologue on a tangent which is not what was being discussed.

That is so like me. I also share his obsessiveness, but not his obsessions. In other aspects of Asperger's syndrome we are very different though.

Th program followed some doctors who thought autism could be cured, all I saw in this part was children being abused, it was very disturbing.

If someone found a cure where I could take a pill and no longer be on the autism spectrum I would not take it as it would take away a large part of what makes me me. I have coped for 63 years with being thought of as a bit weird; I'm sure I'll cope with a few more.

Even before this thread opened my sig reflected a couple of aspects of being an Aspie.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

quote:
Originally posted by balaam:

quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
Aspie logic.
Is that the once you have worked it out you find it very hard to admit you are wrong type of Aspie logic? If so, that's two of us.

Um. Maybe. Or perhaps it's that according to my logic I am right. OTOH other people coming from a different set of premises may have logically arrived at a different conclusion. They may also be right. Having got to my seventh decade, this is something I have managed to take on board.

OTOH again, there have been work situations where the management have simply tried to breach clear contractual agreements. Now there, I was RIGHT.

Posted by Helen-Eva (# 15025) on :

I've just bought Chris Packham's book "Fingers in the Sparkle Jar". I hope it's not too sad - there's bound to be a lot about the hawk he had that died.

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

Jacobson and others - the Waving board is a place where anyone with neuro-atypicality can find others and support.

Aspergers is included, so if you would find that useful, please do apply.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Thanks, SC. Much appreciated.

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

Also applied. Thanks SC.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

But where is the waving board?

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Ah, found it on the private boards. [Hot and Hormonal]

I have applied.

Posted by amber. (# 11142) on :

Unless I am much mistaken, Waving's rules say that one must have mental health conditions, to join. Autism by itself doesn't count, for membership, as it's not a mental health condition (which it isn't, of course). Tricky stuff.

Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Schroedinger's cat:
Jacobson and others - the Waving board is a place where anyone with neuro-atypicality can find others and support.

Aspergers is included, so if you would find that useful, please do apply.

I applied (I have ADHD) but was turned down.

Posted by Bishops Finger (# 5430) on :

I'm part way up the Aspie scale, and also enjoy being synaesthesic (today, being Tuesday, is a nice peacock-blue colour).

We have a new family at church, and the eldest child (8 years old) said to me proudly on Sunday, 'I have autism!'. His Mum smilingly told me that he had, as it were, taken possession of his condition. No bad thing, IMHO.

(BTW,they left their previous church because they were made to feel unwelcome, the autistic son being given to what some people may see as erratic behaviour.

Our Place is autism-aware, and big enough to absorb anyone who feels the need to wander about, hide in corners, concentrate on their tablet, or whatever. Even the occasional shout is interpreted as 'praising the Lord' in that person's own way...)

IJ

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

Apologies, I think I misunderstood what I was told (totally my fault), in that Aspergers alone is not enough for Waving.

This was my misunderstanding, so grovelling if this has confused or misdirected people. I will deliver my own head on a stick so you can pelt it with rotten tomatoes.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

No problem, SC. But I don't fit the Waving criteria, so won't be joining that board. We need one of our own IMO.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Folowing the "Contact us" route, I've emailed Simon, and await a response.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Bishops Finger:
I'm part way up the Aspie scale, and also enjoy being synaesthesic.

People don't understand what I mean when I say that I "see" music. But it's not colors -- it's shapes and motions, and usually in black-and-white or shades of gray.

Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :

quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
No problem, SC. But I don't fit the Waving criteria, so won't be joining that board. We need one of our own IMO.

Wouldn't be a bad idea, actually. There is considerable co-morbidity between ADHD, ASD, Dyspraxia etc. so a general non-neurotypical board could have some validity.

Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:

quote:
Originally posted by Bishops Finger:
I'm part way up the Aspie scale, and also enjoy being synaesthesic.
People don't understand what I mean when I say that I "see" music. But it's not colors -- it's shapes and motions, and usually in black-and-white or shades of gray.

I tend towards that. It's shapes, or even stuff that while visual would be impossible to capture in art. I realised that music I don't like, quite often I don't like because of how it looks.

Posted by Bishops Finger (# 5430) on :

Welcome to the wonderful world of synaesthesia!

It's apparently a fairly rare condition, and varies greatly (some see numbers/letters as colours, for instance, or, like Karl, can 'see' music).

My week is like a tongue-and-groove wooden wall, with the planks in different colours:

Monday - bright green
Tuesday - light blue (think kingfisher)
Wednesday - sunshine yellow
Thursday - dark red (think claret or Burgundy)
Friday - dark brown (chocolate?)
Saturday - silvery-grey
Sunday - metallic gold

One of the Cubs at Our Place is autistic, and he, too, sees days in colours (his Wednesdays are also yellow).

I think I've quoted this before, but it's true:

'Don't look at me in that tone of voice! It smells a funny colour!'

IJ

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :

It's not so rare as you might think (says another synaesthete). I've got colored/shaped hearing, colored letters, and the occasional whiff of colored smell or pain myself.

On a different subject, I applied to Waving and never heard back, so gave up. Depression and anxiety, plus PTSD.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Sorry to hear about that LC, it's a lot to cope with. [Axe murder]

Posted by Jengie jon (# 273) on :

I suspect physical ill health of one of the Waving hosts is the cause Lamb Chopped.

Jengie

Posted by Caissa (# 16710) on :

Our eldest son has Asperger's Syndrome (which is not in the DSM 5). I am the Student Accessibility Counsellor on our campus. As such, I work with many students on the autism spectrum who manifest the diagnosis in very different manners.

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :

I figured it was just one of those things.

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:

quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:

quote:
Originally posted by Bishops Finger:
I'm part way up the Aspie scale, and also enjoy being synaesthesic.
People don't understand what I mean when I say that I "see" music. But it's not colors -- it's shapes and motions, and usually in black-and-white or shades of gray.
I tend towards that. It's shapes, or even stuff that while visual would be impossible to capture in art. I realised that music I don't like, quite often I don't like because of how it looks.

I prefer warm music to cold music. Music has a temperature.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

That's the first I've heard of music having a temperature. Could you give some examples, Balaam?

Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :

Although I'm not an Aspie, and not (as far as I know) synaesthesic I know a few pieces of music which I feel as "cold", some religious, others not:

Religious
Quem vidistis by Poulenc
A spotless rose; by Herbert Howells

Secular
Vienna by Ultravox

I can't really explain it: they just do - and are none the worse for that.

Posted by daisydaisy (# 12167) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Helen-Eva:
I've just bought Chris Packham's book "Fingers in the Sparkle Jar". I hope it's not too sad - there's bound to be a lot about the hawk he had that died.

I've just finished this book - in many ways I found the style irritating, but reminded myself of who the author is! It has increased my concern for Chris for when Scatch goes [Votive]

Regarding "seeing" music, it's like watching moving abstract pictures for me - I put that down to Fantasia and an arty mum who got me to draw while listening to music. I also see numbers as colours, but wonder if that's because of Cuisinaire rods (8 is orange, 9 is black) but there are certainly friendly numbers (2, 6, 4) and unfriendly ones (7,9,3)

Posted by Helen-Eva (# 15025) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Piglet:
Although I'm not an Aspie, and not (as far as I know) synaesthesic I know a few pieces of music which I feel as "cold", some religious, others not:

Religious
Quem vidistis by Poulenc
A spotless rose; by Herbert Howells

Secular
Vienna by Ultravox

I can't really explain it: they just do - and are none the worse for that.

You are so right about A Spotless Rose - it is definitely cold. Cold cathedral in fact. I'm a synaesthete mainly music in colours (colours for notes - the weird thing is I see the colour more dominantly than I hear the note so that if I am trying to pick out a note I will look for the colour rather than try to hear the pitch.) I also have colours for letters, days, numbers. Sometimes other senses get involved too: my mother's fax machine used to beep raspberry flavoured...

On other matters I totally agree with Jacobsen that we need an Neurodiversity board. Waving is great for support for mental health problems that may (or may not) stem from ASD but something about different brain wiring that isn't particularly an illness would be very welcome.

Posted by Helen-Eva (# 15025) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
I figured it was just one of those things.

I think I saw an update that the host in question was feeling a little better at the moment so I hope you will follow up - it would be good to see you in the world of Waving.

Posted by Helen-Eva (# 15025) on :

[Sorry for the triple post - there's just too much I want to respond to and more than one quote in a post is beyond my wrongly-wired brain.]

quote:
Originally posted by Bishops Finger:

'Don't look at me in that tone of voice! It smells a funny colour!'

IJ

Yep - get that. I would like to offer:

"When I have to sing in Litchfield where the organ is a quarter tone sharp all the colours of the notes taste of lemongrass (which I hate)."

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
That's the first I've heard of music having a temperature. Could you give some examples, Balaam?

Very sparse music, with little harmonisation feels cold, richly harmonised music is hot. But there are exceptions, it is not as simple as that.

Kate Bush's Wuthering Heights starts off cold but warms up in the chorus.
Ultravox's Vienna, mentioned above, is cold, with a warmth below the surface that comes through when the tempo picks up.

I like music where there is a change of temperature (Which explains my love of King Crimson).

What I can't stand are hymn tunes where the original melody is plainsong, but has been fully harmonised to include thirds: Like eating warm ice cream, the temperature is just wrong.

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Helen-Eva:
[Sorry for the triple post - there's just too much I want to respond to and more than one quote in a post is beyond my wrongly-wired brain.]

How can a brain that can lead to different, sometimes unique, insights be wrongly wired? I prefer differently.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Certainly interestingly wired. In addition to seeing music, there are certain temperatures that I can smell.

Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on :

Do any of you detect or reflect on others' emotional content? See, taste, physically feel? Also wonder about physical pain.

Posted by Helen-Eva (# 15025) on :

quote:
Originally posted by no prophet's flag is set so...:
Do any of you detect or reflect on others' emotional content? See, taste, physically feel? Also wonder about physical pain.

Physical pain definitely has colours. That's probably partly why I get confused when doctors ask me to describe pain as the descriptions I can come up with don't make any sense to anyone else!

[Edited to correct absent apostrophe - continuing absence of apostrophe would have been NOT ACCEPTABLE.]

[ 03. November 2017, 13:27: Message edited by: Helen-Eva ]

Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on :

I have 2 major health projects underway in my consultancy. One is what they are starting to call "central sensitivity" which means that certain types and durations of pain change the nervous system both at nerve endings and in the the brain stem (nonconscious) up to the cortex (conscious parts of brain). Sample link, unfortunately in techno-speak. We actually see some of these "autistic" types of pain descriptions. Although the link suggests an inherited component, we've been thinking that people can be "pushed" by life experience in the direction of. Hence a continuum versus have it or you do not.

A related project is neuro-feedback training for autism, which isn't my project, spun off by pediatrics and neuropsychology.

Unrelated to this, the CBC drama "X Company" features a synthesia-capable spy behind enemy lines in Nazi Germany. It is broadcast this fall in the UK. We really enjoyed it in its run here.

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

I don't have synesthesia, but I absolutely understand the descriptions people have.

I know I visualise things - ideas - in ways that only make sense to me. I can understand how others interpret sensations in different ways. And yes, it makes sense to me. I can appreciate how music can be cold or warm, despite the fact that I don't experience these.

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :

Thank you!

quote:
Originally posted by daisydaisy:
I also see numbers as colours, but wonder if that's because of Cuisinaire rods (8 is orange, 9 is black) but there are certainly friendly numbers (2, 6, 4) and unfriendly ones (7,9,3)

I put my colored letters down to possibly having had a printed book with letters in colors, until I realized that in those days, it would have been incredibly expensive to print, and also nobody in their right mind would have used such a preponderance of red and orange.

You might consider the color distribution of Cuisinaire rods and see if anything similar applies (e.g. all the colors but one are cold, or some other thing conscious design would just never do). Or just google the set (?) and see if it matches with your current color pairings.

Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on :

Does reciting Pi as poetry fit here? It is both poetical and musical with some very cute sequences of numbers I am told.

Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :

quote:
Originally posted by no prophet's flag is set so...:
Does reciting Pi as poetry fit here? It is both poetical and musical with some very cute sequences of numbers I am told.

It's infinite and non-recurring so every possible sequence occurs at some point. Like the entire Ship archive in binary coded decimal. Encrypted with any conceivable key and plain text. And translated into Cornish. Or so I understand.

Posted by Aravis (# 13824) on :

Hi Helen Eva!
How do your musical colours fit with different note names? For example, are G sharp and A flat the same colour? Or is it more a colour palette for a certain key?
My colours/notes do some interesting stuff but they aren't completely consistent.
I can tell my choir is going flat because all the colours start to get colder and a bit muddy and then they just go weird. I find it very difficult to read music in the wrong key when singing as I have to transpose in my head.

Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :

quote:
Originally posted by daisydaisy:
... Cuisinaire rods (8 is orange, 9 is black) ...

No - 7 is black.
I thought it didn't sound right, so I had a moment of geekitude and googled it. [Hot and Hormonal]

Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Helen-Eva:
Physical pain definitely has colours. That's probably partly why I get confused when doctors ask me to describe pain as the descriptions I can come up with don't make any sense to anyone else!

[Edited to correct absent apostrophe - continuing absence of apostrophe would have been NOT ACCEPTABLE.]

I don't see pain in colours, but my doctor had difficulty understanding my description of a "thin, high pitched pain."

Some testing has shown I'm not neuro-typical, but I've never explored it further.

Huia

[ 05. November 2017, 16:10: Message edited by: Piglet ]

Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :

Sorry, I only saw I had messed up the code after the edit window had closed [brick wall]

.

Huia- preview post should be my constant friend, instead of a passing acquaintance.

Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :

Huia - coding sorted.

Piglet, helpful AS host

Posted by daisydaisy (# 12167) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Piglet:

quote:
Originally posted by daisydaisy:
... Cuisinaire rods (8 is orange, 9 is black) ...
No - 7 is black.
I thought it didn't sound right, so I had a moment of geekitude and googled it.

Thank you

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :

Dang. I know what a thin, high pitched pain is. We hates them, my precious, we hates them forever.

Posted by Helen-Eva (# 15025) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Aravis:
Hi Helen Eva!
How do your musical colours fit with different note names? For example, are G sharp and A flat the same colour? Or is it more a colour palette for a certain key?
My colours/notes do some interesting stuff but they aren't completely consistent.
I can tell my choir is going flat because all the colours start to get colder and a bit muddy and then they just go weird. I find it very difficult to read music in the wrong key when singing as I have to transpose in my head.

Hi! Very similar - enharmonics are generally a similar colour but not the same - for example C sharp is a deep red while D flat is purple, while A flat is a sort of brown while G sharp is a deep orange.

If I'm in a group that's going out of tune the colours go muddy and horrible. It's very hard to read in a different key to that written - I have to do the transposition like you do.

Posted by Esmeralda (# 582) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:

quote:
Originally posted by Schroedinger's cat:
Jacobson and others - the Waving board is a place where anyone with neuro-atypicality can find others and support.

Aspergers is included, so if you would find that useful, please do apply.
I applied (I have ADHD) but was turned down.

Boogie, I don't recollect your application. Or did you have a different name then? I think I should clarify what Schroedinger said - we do accept Aspies who have identifiable mental health problems, but since AS is a neurological problem not a mental health one, it alone would not be a qualification. The members agreed that having a mental health problem yourself is one of the criteria for membership, and if we change this it would have to be agreed by the membership not just the hosts. We could have a look at this.

Posted by Esmeralda (# 582) on :

quote:
Originally posted by daisydaisy:
I also see numbers as colours, but wonder if that's because of Cuisinaire rods (8 is orange, 9 is black) but there are certainly friendly numbers (2, 6, 4) and unfriendly ones (7,9,3)

I do this too, and I'm not even Aspie (though my son is): 1 is white, 2 is cream, 3 is yellow, 4 is red or orange, 5 is blue, 6 is orange or red, 7 is green, 8 is brown and 9 is purple (how does that relate to Cuisinere rods?). Also I used to do mental arithmetic by imagining cream coloured figures on a maroon background - these are (or were) the colours of Coventry buses!

Posted by Bishops Finger (# 5430) on :

A good Bible verse for us neurodiverse peeps:

Psalm 139:14

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

[Big Grin]

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

Thanks BF.

The abridged version has been in my sig for some time.

Posted by Bishops Finger (# 5430) on :

So it has!

I thought, when the verse sprang to mind (it's from one of my favourite Psalms) that I'd seen part of it online somewhere, somewhen....

The missing 'e' has been duly noted... [Snigger]

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

I have been thinking about a private neurodiversity support board board, that is one which includes other non neurotypical people and not restricted to autistic people.

Any views on this?

My thoughts are that there needs to be some debate on acceptance of ND people as normal, I think that would be better tackled in public on an 8th day board. I'm willing to host, subject to Ship admin approval and be involved in a ND private board should that follow.

Any thoughts on this as well? Fell free to disagree, I am just throwing out ideas.

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by balaam:
I have been thinking about a private neurodiversity support board board, that is one which includes other non neurotypical people and not restricted to autistic people.

Any views on this?

My thoughts are that there needs to be some debate on acceptance of ND people as normal, I think that would be better tackled in public on an 8th day board. I'm willing to host, subject to Ship admin approval and be involved in a ND private board should that follow.

Any thoughts on this as well? Fell* free to disagree, I am just throwing out ideas.

*Feel free. Missed the edit window.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

@ Balaam - I think there is room for two boards, one private and one public. I have put in an application for a private board to Simon, and he is waiting till the *new* ship is launched in December to give me a decision.

As we are regularly reminded, the ship is public. It's possible that shipmates may wish to post on a private board matters that they would would not necessarily wish to put up for public discussion and comment.

Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :

Advisory hostly oink

I've taken advice from the Admins, and if you would like to throw open the idea of a new Eighth Day board, the way to go is by starting a thread in the Styx asking for thoughts and input.

Thanks.

Piglet, AS host

Posted by RuthW (# 13) on :

And please also consult the policies and procedures for the Eighth Day.

RuthW, Admin

Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :

Thanks, Ruth! [Smile]

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

I haven't forgotten 8th day, but with Ship 3.0 on the slipway I am biding my time, waiting to see if an 8th day will still be there.

Posted by Moo (# 107) on :

quote:
Originally posted by balaam:
I haven't forgotten 8th day, but with Ship 3.0 on the slipway I am biding my time, waiting to see if an 8th day will still be there.

Why don't you raise the question on this board?

Moo

Posted by RuthW (# 13) on :

quote:
Originally posted by balaam:
I haven't forgotten 8th day, but with Ship 3.0 on the slipway I am biding my time, waiting to see if an 8th day will still be there.

It will indeed!

Posted by Caissa (# 16710) on :

Have you ever looked at the website Wrong Planet, Balaam?

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Caissa:
Have you ever looked at the website Wrong Planet, Balaam?

Yup, I have been a reader of their forums for some time, but mostly it gets bogged down with the needs of parents of less high functioning children. Which I fully understand.

UBB.classic^TM 6.5.0