Thread: If Satan should buffet.... Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.


To visit this thread, use this URL:
http://forum.ship-of-fools.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=70;t=026237

---

Posted by Jammy Dodger (# 17872) on :
 
There is an interesting thread in Purgatory about The Devil and All His Works but I didn't want to hijack it with a tangent as it made me think of my favourite line from the old hymn It is well with my soul which is the title line of the thread.
If Satan should buffet
I can never sing this without thinking someone in a red suit with a pitchfork serving up a dreadful buffet of quiche, vol-au-vents and other selected nibbles.

Anybody else got any favourite lines from hymns that could have another amusing meaning from that intended....
 

---

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :
 
What no devilled kidneys?

The Lord's my shepherd I'll not want. Why don't I want him?
 

---

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :
 
There are more that come under this category in the land of the extinct equine. Why not have a look down there.
 

---

Posted by Jammy Dodger (# 17872) on :
 
Liked the devilled kidneys. Thanks for Dead Horses link - I knew iI was unlikely to be original but I hoping for more amusing double entendres rather than just "woeful worship songs" but maybe there just isn't the source material available ....
 

---

Posted by Hart (# 4991) on :
 
There's a popular Lenten hymn that includes the line "we go to fast and pray." Whenever I hear this, I add an extra 'o' to "to." The second verb then becomes a consequence of the first.
 

---

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by balaam:
There are more that come under this category in the land of the extinct equine. Why not have a look down there.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ariel:
This is true. It would be good to avoid duplicating the existing thread if possible.

---

Having skimmed the old thread if we stick to amusing specific lines in hymns/songs I think this keeps it distinct from the original (that was about whole songs that people hated). Is that OK?

Of course - there may not be any in which case this will be a very short-lived thread!

[ 03. November 2013, 16:54: Message edited by: Jammy Dodger ]
 

---

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jammy Dodger:
Having skimmed the old thread if we stick to amusing specific lines in hymns/songs I think this keeps it distinct from the original (that was about whole songs that people hated). Is that OK?

---

Absolutely, that would be fine. Cheers!
 

---

Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :
 
A line in Oh Jesus I have promised' goes,

'my hope to follow duly, is in thy strength alone..

On eof the kids in chruch was heard to say 'but whydo we want ot follow Julie?'
 

---

Posted by Jammy Dodger (# 17872) on :
 
Classic. From my younger days I remember one parent in our church at the time finding their child at home waving a spanner from the toolbox over his head singing "and his spanner over me is love".
 

---

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
The oldest (best?) is from Keep thou my way which contains that much-loved biblical animal Gladly my cross-eyed bear.
 

---

Posted by Hart (# 4991) on :
 
And then there's the old saw about the choreographed couch: "I am the Lord of the dance settee."
 

---

Posted by Meerkat (# 16117) on :
 
My dear sister always said... "I am the Lord with the damp settee" lol
 

---

Posted by Jammy Dodger (# 17872) on :
 
There is of course the hairy chestnut that is "You shall go out with joy" - which has caused awkward moments in many a youth group.
 

---

Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :
 
"I feel the wind of God today..."

-- what has God been eating? Perhaps something tummy rumbling at the buffet? Does it also have a holy smell? Different than incense?

[ 03. November 2013, 20:38: Message edited by: no prophet ]
 

---

Posted by Avila (# 15541) on :
 
Harvest - 'he only is the maker of all things...'

always makes me feel like about to get a put down in style of 'she's clever but he's only...'

I do have others that strike me part way through singing them, but can't recall from here.

Though there is of course the expensive knickers song (As the deer/dear pants...'
 

---

Posted by Sarkycow (# 1012) on :
 
Last winter my husband taught the kids at his school "Give me oil in my lamp". The year 3 (7-8 yr olds) teacher later told him that the kids spent the afternoon singing "Sing ho Santa" for the chorus
 

---

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 
The last line in "Go, labor on; spend, and be spent" is:

quote:

---

soon shalt thou hear the Bridegroom's voice,
the midnight peal, "Behold, I come!"

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Firenze:
Never could forbear a snigger at -

Here I raise my Ebenezer

---

quote:

---

The old man, meek and mild,
The priest of Israel, slept;
His watch the temple child,
The little Levite, kept.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Zacchaeus:
Of course in certain parts of England the phrase 'our souls' can cause issues..

---

Fortunately in the northeast, we pronounce "our" the right way - as two syllables. Unless we're really northeastern and pronounce it "wa", of course.

Sometimes, as others have noted, it's all about getting the punctuation right:

quote:

---

My God, I love thee not,
Because I hope for heaven thereby

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jammy Dodger:
If Satan should buffet
I can never sing this without thinking someone in a red suit with a pitchfork serving up a dreadful buffet of quiche, vol-au-vents and other selected nibbles.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stumbling Pilgrim:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jammy Dodger:
If Satan should buffet
I can never sing this without thinking someone in a red suit with a pitchfork serving up a dreadful buffet of quiche, vol-au-vents and other selected nibbles.

---

The group I'm part of that occasionally leads worship at our church chose this (for some reason that seemed good at the time) a while ago. At the first rehearsal, that line, plus 'while Jordan above me shall roll' and something about 'the trump of the angels', reduced us to shrieks of laughter audible throughout the building. On the day we got through it, only to have a mass meltdown as soon as the benediction was over. We still can't look at that hymn ...

---

Awesome.

[ 04. November 2013, 11:59: Message edited by: Jammy Dodger ]
 

---

Posted by Talitha (# 5085) on :
 
There's a Christmas carol that goes:

"Saint Joseph, meek and mild,
Embraced the new-born Child,
Then knelt upon the sod"
 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
We had this one last night: The night is dark and I am far from home, lead thou me on
 

---

Posted by Aravis (# 13824) on :
 
There's an Easter hymn which contains the tongue twister "From death's dread sting thy people free". If you're not careful it's easy to sing this as "death's dead string".
 

---

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 
Another Easter hymn, "He is risen, he is risen!" now has the line "Come, with high and holy hymning, hail our Lord's triumphant day" in Hymnal 1982 (Episcopal Church U.S.A.). Our Hymnal 1940 had it as "Come, with high and holy hymning, Chant our Lord's triumphant lay."
 

---

Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :
 
I suppose "Let us drink wine together on our knees" could be a drinking song.
 

---

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jammy Dodger:
There is an interesting thread in Purgatory about The Devil and All His Works but I didn't want to hijack it with a tangent as it made me think of my favourite line from the old hymn It is well with my soul which is the title line of the thread.
If Satan should buffet
I can never sing this without thinking someone in a red suit with a pitchfork serving up a dreadful buffet of quiche, vol-au-vents and other selected nibbles.

Anybody else got any favourite lines from hymns that could have another amusing meaning from that intended....

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by churchgeek:
I'm confused - do you pronounce "buffet" in the hymn quoted here the same way as you would a buffet at a dinner? Which way, then? In my accent (and I suspect in US accents generally) the first is BUFF-it and the second (which is never a verb) is buh-FAY.

It might sound to me like "if Satan should buff it," which could have double entendres or simply mean he's got a job at a soft-cloth car wash.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by churchgeek:
I'm confused - do you pronounce "buffet" in the hymn quoted here the same way as you would a buffet at a dinner? Which way, then? In my accent (and I suspect in US accents generally) the first is BUFF-it and the second (which is never a verb) is buh-FAY.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Firenze:
It's a homograph and a homonym but not a homophone.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kaplan Corday:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Firenze:
It's a homograph and a homonym but not a homophone.

---

Where does that fit on the LGBT spectrum?

Does it mean it can get married?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Firenze:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kaplan Corday:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Firenze:
It's a homograph and a homonym but not a homophone.

---

Where does that fit on the LGBT spectrum?

Does it mean it can get married?

---

No, it means it's a kind of intelligent horse written about by Swift.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Firenze:

quote:

---

Originally posted by churchgeek:
I'm confused - do you pronounce "buffet" in the hymn quoted here the same way as you would a buffet at a dinner? Which way, then? In my accent (and I suspect in US accents generally) the first is BUFF-it and the second (which is never a verb) is buh-FAY.

---

I don't doubt that it is sung 'buffit' - the alternative meaning is present to the eye and the mind. It's a homograph and a homonym but not a homophone.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
The last line in "Go, labor on; spend, and be spent" is:

quote:

---

soon shalt thou hear the Bridegroom's voice,
the midnight peal, "Behold, I come!"

---

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Firenze:
You could search in Yahoo.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Signaller:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
The last line in "Go, labor on; spend, and be spent" is:

quote:

---

soon shalt thou hear the Bridegroom's voice,
the midnight peal, "Behold, I come!"

---

---

...which leads straight to the first line of number 3 in the English Hymnal:

Behold, the Bridegroom cometh in the middle of the night

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Firenze:
You could search in Yahoo.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by georgiaboy:
Not exactly a laugh line but when I was a child many words or lines in hymns puzzled me. One that I recal was 'Here I raise mine Ebenezer' somewhere in 'Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.' Nobody ever explained it to me (because I didn't ask, I suppose), and the only Ebenezer I knew of was Ebenezer Scrooge, which somehow didn't seem to fit.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Zacchaeus:
Of course in certain parts of England the phrase 'our souls' can cause issues..

---

quote:

---

The angel Gabriel from heaven came,
his wings as drifted snow, his eyes as flame;
"All hail," said he, "thou lowly maiden Mary,
most highly flavored gravy," Gloria!

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by RuthW:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Zacchaeus:
Of course in certain parts of England the phrase 'our souls' can cause issues..

---

I am eight time zones away from all parts of England, and can't figure this one out. Could someone explain?

---

© Ship of Fools 2016


UBB.classic^TM 6.5.0