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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: The Honest to God Official Unwritten Ship of Fools Rules
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Patdys
Iron Wannabe
RooK-Annoyer
# 9397
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Posted
In Styx, there was a query about the Unwritten Ship Rules. It got me to thinking about the unofficial rules which are current, or more importantly, Should Be Current.
You know them all of course,
If you call someone to Hell, send them a pm.
Don't make list threads.
When you read a post in Hell, imagine saying 'Mwa Ha Ha' under your breath at the outset.
Before posting in Ecclesiantics, make the sign of the cross and wear a clove of garlic.
Any I have missed?
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Marathon run. Next Dream. Australian this time.
Posts: 3511 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Palimpsest
Shipmate
# 16772
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Posted
Thanks for posting. I thought the clove of garlic was to be worn when posting to the Cooking thread in Heaven. My mistake.
Posts: 2990 | From: Seattle WA. US | Registered: Nov 2011
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Patdys:
Only to keep Firenze away. ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
You've got that wrong: garlic acts as an attractant. Rather like the sound of popping corks. To repel me you have to sleep with a Kentucky Fried Boneless Dip under your pillow.
[ 11. January 2014, 07:13: Message edited by: Firenze ]
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
You forgot to add:
Never, ever, under any circumstance diss comet.
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Stejjie
Shipmate
# 13941
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
You forgot to add:
Never, ever, under any circumstance diss comet.
I was just about to say comet... just comet, really...
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A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist
Posts: 1117 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
C6 protects posters, not hosts and admins.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
quote:
Originally posted by Patdys:
Only to keep Firenze away.
You've got that wrong: garlic acts as an attractant. Rather like the sound of popping corks. To repel me you have to sleep with a Kentucky Fried Boneless Dip under your pillow.
Kentucky Fried Boneless Drip, eh? Is that referring to EVERYONE in the South or just people in Kentucky? ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
Ooops, read it wrong. Dip, not drip. Still refers to far too many people in the Southern part of the United States. ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
Bodily function jokes are not funny. Neither are gross-out jokes. Making these is what gets threads closed.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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A.Pilgrim
Shipmate
# 15044
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Posted
All posts must be in the English language.
I think that this should be a written rule, and in the past I tried to persuade H&As to do this, but did so around the time that Martin PC Not got planked for posting in Morse Code and tempers were rather frayed.
Angus
Posts: 434 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2009
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by A.Pilgrim:
All posts must be in the English language.
Addendum: if it's commonly used in English, especially if more people recognize it in the original language than when translated, it counts as English.
The only exception for this is Welsh. I wish I knew Welsh, so by using it just enough that I can figure out what you mean by context, you're letting me delude myself into thinking I know it. Feeding my own personal delusions is always appreciated.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Qoheleth.
Semi-Sagacious One
# 9265
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Posted
Don't post when drunk. ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
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The Benedictine Community at Alton Abbey offers a friendly, personal service for the exclusive supply of Rosa Mystica incense.
Posts: 2532 | From: the radiator of life | Registered: Apr 2005
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Scarlet
Mellon Collie
# 1738
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Posted
"Party" threads are highly frowned upon in this establishment. Probably forbidden.
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They took from their surroundings what was needed... and made of it something more.
—dialogue from Primer
Posts: 4769 | Registered: Nov 2001
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basso
Ship’s Crypt Keeper
# 4228
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Posted
There are no unwritten rules on the Ship, but heaven help you if you break one of 'em.
Posts: 4358 | From: Bay Area, Calif | Registered: Mar 2003
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Hedgehog
Ship's Shortstop
# 14125
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Qoheleth.:
Don't post when drunk.
My posting frequency just went down....
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"We must regain the conviction that we need one another, that we have a shared responsibility for others and the world, and that being good and decent are worth it."--Pope Francis, Laudato Si'
Posts: 2740 | From: Delaware, USA | Registered: Sep 2008
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by A.Pilgrim:
All posts must be in the English language.
Or to be more accurate, an English language. American, Australian, British, Canadian, Irish, Indian, Scottish and Welsh English are all slightly different, but we have hosts to cater for these.
Don't push your luck though.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
You forgot to add:
Never, ever, under any circumstance diss comet.
oh no! please, please do!
I like snacks.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
Beware of H&A Day.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Do not attempt to sell snacks on a Hell thread, however dreary it may have become, nor however hungry the peanut gallery.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Barnabas62
Shipmate
# 9110
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Posted
1. Try to learn from the dumbasses who have survived. (With thanks to comet. Again)
2. Hellhosting is, probably, the best possible training for senior management hereabouts.
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Who is it that you seek? How then shall we live? How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land?
Posts: 21397 | From: Norfolk UK | Registered: Feb 2005
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Barnabas62:
2. Hellhosting is, probably, the best possible training for senior management hereabouts.
![[Waterworks]](graemlins/bawling.gif)
*runs for the door screaming incoherently*
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Evangeline
Shipmate
# 7002
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by A.Pilgrim:
All posts must be in the English language.
I think that this should be a written rule, and in the past I tried to persuade H&As to do this, but did so around the time that Martin PC Not got planked for posting in Morse Code and tempers were rather frayed.
Angus
Except Australian English is banned!
Posts: 2871 | From: "A capsule of modernity afloat in a wild sea" | Registered: May 2004
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
your definition of "banned" and mine are very different.
Another ship unofficial rule: no matter how long you try to avoid it, eventually, you too will need to learn the basics of latin, greek, liturgical colors, and cricket.
it's just a matter of time.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
You forgot steam train gauges and stations on the London Underground.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
The one that really scares me is having to learn the pros and cons of Penal Substitutionary Atonement.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Scarlet
Mellon Collie
# 1738
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
You forgot steam train gauges and stations on the London Underground.
One can become a master even while residing in North Carolina.
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They took from their surroundings what was needed... and made of it something more.
—dialogue from Primer
Posts: 4769 | Registered: Nov 2001
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
You forgot steam train gauges ...
Both for real-life trains and scale models, including the bizarre ways in which the same model gauge can be used to represent replicas in different scales!
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
That clanking sound was me changing the points to redirect this thread back to the original topic.
Firenze
Heaven Host
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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roybart
Shipmate
# 17357
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Posted
Never use a complete phrase when Some Obscure Acronym (aka SOA) can save a few seconds of typing time.
This is most crucial when discussing arcane matters having to do with the CofE.
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"The consolations of the imaginary are not imaginary consolations."
-- Roger Scruton
Posts: 547 | From: here | Registered: Sep 2012
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
The one that really scares me is having to learn the pros and cons of Penal Substitutionary Atonement.
It's better than penile substitutionary atonement.
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The5thMary:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
The one that really scares me is having to learn the pros and cons of Penal Substitutionary Atonement.
It's better than penile substitutionary atonement.
What's so scary about big pickup trucks?
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The5thMary:
quote:
Originally posted by orfeo:
The one that really scares me is having to learn the pros and cons of Penal Substitutionary Atonement.
It's better than penile substitutionary atonement.
I knew that 'joke' was coming. I just didn't know who from.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
Pun not intended?
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
Their is a difference between both "to" and too" and "your" and "you're." Mix them up often to acclimatise the grammar Nazis to the real world.
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
Don't talk about Aberystwyth. Just don't.
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
Pun not intended?
Which one? There are so many to choose from.
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Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
Don't talk about Aberystwyth. Just don't.
And neverevereverever say that it is Welch.
![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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St. Gwladys
Shipmate
# 14504
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Posted
You might have to allow one shipmate to talk about Aberwristwatch-on-sea as she lives there.(Not me)
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"I say - are you a matelot?"
"Careful what you say sir, we're on board ship here"
From "New York Girls", Steeleye Span, Commoners Crown (Voiced by Peter Sellers)
Posts: 3333 | From: Rhymney Valley, South Wales | Registered: Jan 2009
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
You forgot steam train gauges and stations on the London Underground.
Hey! I won Mornington Crescent just a few years ago!
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Patdys
Iron Wannabe
RooK-Annoyer
# 9397
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
Their is a difference between both "to" and too" and "your" and "you're." Mix them up often to acclimatise the grammar Nazis to the real world.
Use Australian spelling as it is God's own country.
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Marathon run. Next Dream. Australian this time.
Posts: 3511 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Rev per Minute
Shipmate
# 69
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
Don't talk about Aberystwyth. Just don't.
And neverevereverever say that it is Welch.
Oh, I remember that... ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif) And as Welsh is 'iaith y nefoedd' - the language of heaven - it belongs on this board as no other! ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
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"Allons-y!" "Geronimo!" "Oh, for God's sake!" The Day of the Doctor
At the end of the day, we face our Maker alongside Jesus. RIP ken
Posts: 2696 | From: my desk (if I can find the keyboard under this mess) | Registered: May 2001
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balaam
Making an ass of myself
# 4543
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Posted
Never confuse the adjectives Scotch, Scottish and Scots. Just don't.
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Last ever sig ...
blog
Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
And please differentiate between a Kentish man and man of Kent. And then explain the difference to me.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by balaam:
Never confuse the adjectives Scotch, Scottish and Scots. Just don't.
I don't - I am about half Scots-Irish and most of the rest English by way of Germany and the Netherlands: I was born in LA -- I get along with everybody!
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
Their is a difference between both "to" and too" and "your" and "you're." Mix them up often to acclimatise the grammar Nazis to the real world.
Don't forget 'less' and 'fewer': the foreman on a gig was corrected by me after an extemporaneous safety speech and I got sent home early later the same week! Surly rat bastard - no friend of mine anymore....
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
quote:
Originally posted by balaam:
Never confuse the adjectives Scotch, Scottish and Scots. Just don't.
I don't - I am about half Scots-Irish and most of the rest English by way of Germany and the Netherlands: I was born in LA -- I get along with everybody!
Except "surly rat bastards".
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Sherwood
Shipmate
# 15702
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
And please differentiate between a Kentish man and man of Kent. And then explain the difference to me.
A Man or Maid of Kent is a person born in East Kent. A Kentish Man or Maid is a person born in West Kent. Take it from a Man of Kent ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Posts: 62 | From: Finland | Registered: Jun 2010
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