Source: (consider it)
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Thread: TICTH Episode XIV - Hell Consigns Back
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Pre-cambrian
Shipmate
# 2055
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Posted
Despite it being closed you Christians must know you can't keep Hell down.
Anyway Sioni Sais surely can't object to this.
So: calling Warner Bros and everyone outside the UK who contributes to bad blood between the nations of the UK through their crass stupidity.
I've just finished watching "Clash of the Titans". No comments on the film itself, but I'm one of the those - very few - people who watch through the whole of the credits the first time round. So what do I see credited amongst the locations? quote: Llanberis, Wales, England
Invisible deities of your choice, give me strength! [ 18. November 2014, 03:25: Message edited by: RooK ]
-------------------- "We cannot leave the appointment of Bishops to the Holy Ghost, because no one is confident that the Holy Ghost would understand what makes a good Church of England bishop."
Posts: 2314 | From: Croydon | Registered: Dec 2001
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
I don't have a say in whether this thread lives or dies, as I'm not a Host any more.
A Host may well be along to let you know what really will happen to it.
-------------------- "He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Doc Tor
Deepest Red
# 9748
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Posted
Pfft.
Dons hostly furry hat
Comrades, you know the rules. Short winges, whines, moans and complaints only. Anything you want to have a proper rant about has its own thread. Excessive commenting on an original grumble will lead to TICTH being sent to the gulag for re-education. Again. And it's very cold in Siberia this time of year.
Stows hostly furry hat
-------------------- Forward the New Republic
Posts: 9131 | From: Ultima Thule | Registered: Jul 2005
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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
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Posted
TICTH computer problems. Going to have to take my laptop in to be serviced soon. It's only barely usable.
-------------------- On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!
Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
I'm on holiday and deliriously happy, so why are you all trying to ruin it for me when I check in here by reviving TICTH again? I was ready to come and spread love and flowers and this is what I get?
Bad Shipmates. Bad. No. Heel. Go to your kennel.
-------------------- Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Dear Bicycle rider on skinny highway bike path-- the thing about wearing camo at twilight while driving alongside a row of trees? There's a reason they call it camouflage.
(takes out ledger book and subtracts ten years from life.)
-------------------- I cannot expect people to believe “ Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.” Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
TiCTH my hilarious body, who decided that the 5 days I'm travelling with 9 squirrely teenagers (who apparently don't sleep. Fucking EVER.) was the perfect time to inflict me with not only a doozy of a period a week ahead of schedule, but also the fucking plague. Chills, fever, snot every-goddamn-where, and hey, how 'bout cramps, too? (oversharing? Kiss my frozen ass)
Just for that, body, I'm punishing you severely with a buttload of junk food. And whiskey, once I hand the hooligans back to those who spawned 'em. Bad body, bad. Here's ice cream.
The 18 hour ferry ride we start tomorrow (with a total of about 120 teens from the whole fucking region) is going to be a motherfucking BLAST. Send booze!
-------------------- Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Kitten
Shipmate
# 1179
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Posted
TICTH The recurring stomach bug that meant instead of spending all night in a nice comfortable bed, I spent large chunks of it in the bathroom
-------------------- Maius intra qua extra
Never accept a ride from a stranger, unless they are in a big blue box
Posts: 2330 | From: Carmarthenshire | Registered: Aug 2001
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Macrina
Shipmate
# 8807
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Posted
TICTH my sodding freaking TOOTH that had to wait until right in the middle of my holiday to sheer off half its enamel. Luckily I am not in pain as the offending dentoid was mostly filling anyway but boy am I pissed off that JUST as I paid off the last of my dental bills and started to scrape some savings together it has to go on fixing this little useless bastard.
Posts: 535 | From: Christchurch, New Zealand | Registered: Nov 2004
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Raptor Eye
Shipmate
# 16649
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Posted
TICTH thieves, who leave everyone looking over their shoulders and mistrustful until they're caught, then leave a nasty taste in the mouth of the people who trusted them.
-------------------- Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46.10
Posts: 4359 | From: The United Kingdom | Registered: Sep 2011
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DangerousDeacon
Shipmate
# 10582
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Posted
My one day off in the week. An incredibly busy week awaits me. Five phones calls before 8.30, when I am trying to sleep in. Two from parishioners, two from colleagues, one of whom starts "I know its your day off, but ...".
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh.
-------------------- 'All the same, it may be that I am wrong; what I take for gold and diamonds may be only a little copper and glass.'
Posts: 506 | From: Top End | Registered: Oct 2005
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
Freaking flu virus that combines a cough and high fever with HIVES WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? so it's probably not even the flu, o joy, and my husband determined to go back to work so he can spread it ever more widely.
And I have the least severe case of it, so I get the everlasting freaking joy of cleaning up everybody else's crap and waiting on them hand and foot. Not to mention sleeping on the couch. Where my butt is attempting to descend into hell between two cushions.
AND sciatica.
Where's the booze, Comet?
-------------------- Er, this is what I've been up to (book). Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by comet: The 18 hour ferry ride we start tomorrow (with a total of about 120 teens from the whole fucking region) is going to be a motherfucking BLAST. Send booze!
Just underway and my estimate was slghtly off. 200 goddamn squirrely teens. On one ferry. For 18 hours. There's no place for my team to sleep.
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGH!!!!
-------------------- Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
(Sends Comet 2 cases of 90% dark chocolate for herself, and 20 Twister games to keep the kids busy.)
TICTH the idiots who set up California law so that the criminal law age of sexual consent is 18, but there is NO *civil* law age of consent. So a child can be blamed for being sexually abused by a teacher-- blamed by the school district.
-------------------- Blessed Gator, pray for us! --"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon") --"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
Praise the Lord for the resurrection of TICTH!
I might condemn the theologically muddled nature of the above, but I reserve today's for an instance last week when I was nearly run over by a cyclist (on a Boris bike) who, in the space of about 3 seconds, managed to:
a) Go through a red light b) Turn the wrong way up a one way street c) Mount the pavement at fairly high speed, with no regards to the pedestrians on it.
-------------------- I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it. Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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Moo
Ship's tough old bird
# 107
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Posted
TICTH the website designers for Medicare D signups. I assume they had some reason for doing it that way, but I can't imagine what it was.
Almost everyone using the site is over sixty-five. This means that although they can use computers, most of them, including me, are very unsophisticated.
The first thing you fill out is name, address, social security number, and date of birth. I filled all this out, and got the reply that they never heard of me. I have been enrolled in Medicare D for eight years. I assumed I had made some typo, although I couldn't see it. I re-entered the information, and again they said they had never heard of me.
I asked my daughter to take over, and she figured out that the problem was the hyphens I had put in the social security number. A social security number has three digits, then a hyphen, then two digits, then a hyphen, then four digits. I have never seen a social security number written without hyphens. Nevertheless, the site designers decided that any social security number with hyphens should be rejected.
Moo
-------------------- Kerygmania host --------------------- See you later, alligator.
Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001
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Beethoven
Ship's deaf genius
# 114
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Posted
TICTH the invisibility cloak currently surrounding my car key. I'm hoping it only lasts 48 hours so the key will magically be in plain sight when I get home. I've already tidied up in the effort to find it; not sure what else I can do.
-------------------- Who wants to be a rock anyway?
toujours gai!
Posts: 1309 | From: Here (and occasionally there) | Registered: May 2001
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
TICTH the phrase "Women and Children first."
-------------------- It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Lucia
Looking for light
# 15201
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Posted
Cockroaches - although the wretches are so hard to erradicate they would probably survive the fires of hell... [ 17. November 2014, 20:49: Message edited by: Lucia ]
Posts: 1075 | From: Nigh golden stone and spires | Registered: Oct 2009
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Laryngitis -- although I'm pretty sure I know where I got it from and would do it again in a flash (is that a sin of gluttony?), still I'm paying the price!
-------------------- "I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Palimpsest
Shipmate
# 16772
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Posted
The piece of crap website that the State of Washington uses to enroll people in ACA and the clueless customer service people who staff the customer support lines.
It's been two weeks and many crashes, I've been double charged in order to enroll, they're still working on it, and I still haven't heard from the carrier I selected and I suspect they've lost it again and have no ambition to fix the problems caused in the crashes.
Posts: 2990 | From: Seattle WA. US | Registered: Nov 2011
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Autenrieth Road
Shipmate
# 10509
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Posted
TICTH passive aggressive shits who pretend to be filled with Christian love but in fact are just sniping from the corners and then running away from discussion when called on their shit.
If you think I'm convinced by that smug "I'm so superior" shit, think again.
-------------------- Truth
Posts: 9559 | From: starlight | Registered: Oct 2005
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
People who advertise themselves as helping the poor, who then discover that the poor person in question is not Medicaid eligible (immigration category) and just dump them. Without hooking them up to any other kind of help.
Also, a certain person who is reported to have told the youth group at our church to tell their parents to give more money. WTF?
-------------------- Er, this is what I've been up to (book). Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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blackbeard
Ship's Pirate
# 10848
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Pyx_e: TICTH the phrase "Women and Children first."
Or, according to Neddy Segoon (I think it was), "Women and me first...".
Posts: 823 | From: Hampshire, UK | Registered: Dec 2005
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Callan
Shipmate
# 525
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Lucia: Cockroaches - although the wretches are so hard to erradicate they would probably survive the fires of hell...
Apparently that's an urban myth. In the event of a nuclear conflagration we can take some small consolation in the knowledge that the little bastards are going down with the rest of us.
-------------------- How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
Kale. WTF is it with this pathetic excuse for a vegetable that is EVERYeffingWHERE these days. Where the hell are the beans and carrots? I am sorry I EVER objected to the stupid idiocy oxymoron ultramaroon of "tender crisp". I'll even eat celery and enjoy it. I hate trendy oh so healthy vegetables.
And while I'm at it, death to cilantro leaves and coriander, vegetable puke spawn of Satan. Get the hell off my pizza!
-------------------- Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety. \_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Stejjie
Shipmate
# 13941
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Posted
I like kale... Mmmm...kale...
TICTH bloody "Let It Go" by bloody Elsa (aka Idina Menzel) from bloody "Frozen" by bloody Disney. Our 2 girls haven't watched it in, oooh, days and still the thing is going round my head. Well, when I say "the thing", I actually mean selected bits of the song over and over and over again...
Let it go? Out of my head? Yes please!
-------------------- A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist
Posts: 1117 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008
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Doc Tor
Deepest Red
# 9748
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Stejjie: Let it go? Out of my head? Yes please!
(Public service Announcement. You may prefer this.
You are now returned to your usual TICTH thread.)
-------------------- Forward the New Republic
Posts: 9131 | From: Ultima Thule | Registered: Jul 2005
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Tubbs
Miss Congeniality
# 440
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Posted
Bob Geldof. Not for crimes against music, although there are grounds for that, but for being an insufferable smug arse and a bit of a bully.
Reviving Band Aid to raise funds for research into eloba and help pay for treatment centres and medical staff is okay. And it will help raise awareness. But it’s those things that are going to stop this filthy disease in its tracks, not a record. The record is a means to an end.
Noel Gallagher was right in his assessment of Live 8: “Correct me if I’m wrong, but are they hoping that one of these guys from the G8 is on a quick fifteen-minute break at Gleneagles and sees Annie Lennox seeing 'Sweet Dreams’ and thinks 'f**k me, she might have a point there, … we should really drop the debt, you know’. It’s not going to happen, is it?” . Doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be done. Just that there needs to be some realism about what is going to be achieved. And maybe some credit to those who will be actually achieving it.
But “naming and shaming” those who didn’t return your calls or you would have loved to turn up but didn’t is a not the behaviour of a gentlemen.
Adele is perfectly entitled to decide that keeping herself out of the limelight and spending time with her family and taking care of her toddler is more important than rocking up at a recording studio and warbling. She’d already done her bit anyway. Having made an under the radar, private donation to Oxfam’s eloba appeal. I wonder how many of the musicians on Band Aid had done the same? Hopefully it’s more than I think it is. In the words of the man himself, “Give us your fucking money …” Okay, you first!
And whilst I’m here … Mylanne Klass …That big meanie Ed Milliband wants to tax expensive houses to help pay for the NHS. But £12m will only buy you garbage in central London. And you’re expected to pay tax on that? OMFG! Maybe Bob could do something for celebs in need so they know it’s Christmas too. Alternatively, George could tackle the deficit by showing the same enthusiasm for kicking the crap about of tax dodgers and avoiders as he does towards the poor and needy.
Bah fecking humbug. Up the revolution. (And, for those of us of a certain age, Freedom for Tooting!)
Tubbs [ 19. November 2014, 13:36: Message edited by: Tubbs ]
-------------------- "It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am
Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Tubbs: ... And, for those of us of a certain age, Freedom for Tooting!
I am Of A Certain Age.
Which is probably why the only people I recognised in the new Band Aid line-up were Bob Geldof and Bono.
TICTH getting old.
-------------------- I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander. alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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passer
Indigo
# 13329
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Piglet: quote: Originally posted by Tubbs: ... And, for those of us of a certain age, Freedom for Tooting!
I am Of A Certain Age.
Wolfie would be proud of you both.
I would like to CTH that nice Mr Ecclestone, whose greed and self-interest has led to 230 redundancies and dreadful publicity, but who has endeavoured to paint himself as a saviour by not charging Caterham to travel to the Middle East (they are contractually restricted to using only his transport company).
Posts: 1289 | From: Sheffield | Registered: Jan 2008
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orfeo
Ship's Musical Counterpoint
# 13878
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Patdys: And Orfeo, Do you really want to discuss your holidays and being deliriously happy in 'Today I consine to Hell'....
I'll discuss it wherever I damn well please. I'm practically shitting rainbows here.
-------------------- Technology has brought us all closer together. Turns out a lot of the people you meet as a result are complete idiots.
Posts: 18173 | From: Under | Registered: Jul 2008
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
TICTH whatever twisted sense of history has caused actor Kirk Cameron to say "Pagans stole Christmas from Christians", and put his ideas into a film.
-------------------- Blessed Gator, pray for us! --"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon") --"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Gwai: TITCH: "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Because men just love being scorned, dontcha know!
One of those delightful phrases chock full with sexist assumptions.
I know someone who was literally harrassed for years because every time she asked for help, the perp would simply evoke this phrase, and nobody would ask any further questions. Fucking ugliness.
-------------------- I cannot expect people to believe “ Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.” Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
They all think it breaks our hearts if they don't find us attractive -- thus we have been "scorned," by them. They didn't see us turn to our friends and stick our fingers down our throats
It's evolved to a simpler, "bitches be crazy," for the morons that don't know what scorned means.
Right. Women sometimes go crazy when you break up with them and key your car. Men sometimes go crazy when you break up with them and murder you and your kids.
It's become unbelievably dangerous out there for women, girls aren't even safe at college parties.
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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Callan
Shipmate
# 525
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Posted
TICTH England football supporters who thought it would be amusing to go to Celtic Park and sing songs about the IRA. Not that I mind people being rude about the semtex-happy Feinian murderers in principle. But Scottish Catholics are really not the enemy here, guys. And things have moved on since the 1990s. And, in case you weren't paying attention, they just had a referendum on independence up there, for crying out loud, and the Nats lost. You could have wound them up much more effectively with something along the lines of:
"You're Brits, and you know you are!"
Losing. Your. Touch.
-------------------- How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
TICTH space invaders. There's the entire platform to choose from and hardly anybody on it. But no, you have to come and stand just 8" behind me. Every morning this week. Wtf? I can only assume I'm standing in "your space" but your train isn't even due for another 15 minutes. Until they put up a plaque and a Keep Off, This Space Is Reserved sign, I'm bloody standing where I want.
And TICTH people who sit opposite you then pick and eat the contents of their nose for the duration of the journey. Enjoy your breakfast, you've put me right off mine.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
quote: Ariel: TICTH space invaders.
When I first read this sentence, I thought it was about the computer game. That's why I have to post this link. (PS I agree, those people suck.)
-------------------- I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Ariel: TICTH space invaders. There's the entire platform to choose from and hardly anybody on it. But no, you have to come and stand just 8" behind me. Every morning this week. Wtf? I can only assume I'm standing in "your space" but your train isn't even due for another 15 minutes. Until they put up a plaque and a Keep Off, This Space Is Reserved sign, I'm bloody standing where I want.
I suggest you turn around, right in place, and boldly stare them in the eyeballs. Saying nothing.
Hey, it's psych warfare. They started it, you can up it.
-------------------- Er, this is what I've been up to (book). Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Lamb Chopped: I suggest you turn around, right in place, and boldly stare them in the eyeballs. Saying nothing.
I already have. She doesn't notice me.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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The Rogue
Shipmate
# 2275
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Posted
If she takes no notice of you then you might get away with tying her shoelaces together.
-------------------- If everyone starts thinking outside the box does outside the box come back inside?
Posts: 2507 | From: Toton | Registered: Feb 2002
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
TICTH Beaujolais Nouveau day. What a con.
I have been reminded that yesterday was Beaujolais Nouveau day. Are there still superannuated Yuppies drinking this revolting pop?
-------------------- "He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
Perhaps you could start carrying a very long large umbrella. (Or a rolled poster, or a golf club, or a broadsword, or something.) Hold it under your arm so it sticks out behind.
-------------------- Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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