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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: U! G! L! Y! I don't need no alibi!
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Copied from a hilarious tangent on the US Election thread:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
One time on Facebook I went on this rant about how women should start an Ugly movement-- just take the power of that word away. Because that's what it is about-- power. If women are to be judged on their physical appearance, and 99% of women don't fit what the hive mind has decided is The Ideal Woman, that is a substantial chunk of the population you get to discount.
I think many politicians are starting to realize that just because you have been ignoring someone doesn't mean they aren't voting.
So, the Ugly movement means, if I am ugly, so be it. There are far more ugly people than perfect people. Disproportionately more. So fucking consider my ugly ass going to a voting booth.
The guy I was ranting to said, "But Kelly, you're not ugly at all!"
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif) Can no one see my vision?
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
I can see it, and I'll gladly join you on the barricades. ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
I've already decided I'm just going to refer to myself as "fat" and screw the people who don't like it. I AM fat. And for someone to get startled and say, "But LC, you aren't..." and then trail off into silence... well, ![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
Maybe if we all own the ugly words long and loud enough, the jackasses will quit braying.
YES!
quote:
Originally posted by Brenda Clough:
You may have seen this, over on the Guardian: a call for fat people to unite against denigrators like Trump.
And Samantha Bee says, “No, you had a stunningly beautiful Miss Universe winner and you treated her like garbage. Now you have a real problem – not only with her but with every woman who’s ever been called fat. Which is all of us!”
YES!
quote:
Originally posted by Soror Magna:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Can no one see my vision?
I do. That's why I hate all that "everyone is beautiful" "find your inner beauty" "your uniqueness is your beauty" shit. The majority of humans are not (considered) beautiful, and unless one happens to find oneself competing in a beauty pageant, it shouldn't fucking matter to anybody at all.
PREACH it, sister!
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
This is why we need more fairy tales about ordinary-looking people.
quote:
Originally posted by Brenda Clough:
Well, I'm doing my part. The heroine of the current work is not young and famously ugly to boot.
THANK you!
Join the revolution! Reject the lie that says average is ugly and ugly is invisible! Own your ugly and make your ugly voice heard!
(Oh and by the way, to be truly revolutionary, you need to use the long U. It's not good enough to be ugly, you have to be OOOOOOOOOGLAAAY.)
Say it lovingly in the mirror to yourself tonight... "I'm here, I'm OOOOOGLAAY, and I'm NOT GONNA GO AWAY!"
![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif)
[ 30. September 2016, 22:05: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
I win. I'm old and fat and a feminist. Eat my dust.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif) Our Queen! Our Queen!
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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BroJames
Shipmate
# 9636
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Posted
Should the thread title be "U! G! L! Y! I dont need no alibi!" or is it intended for dyslexics as well? ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Posts: 3374 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2005
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by BroJames:
Should the thread title be "U! G! L! Y! I dont need no alibi!" or is it intended for dyslexics as well?
Or is it perhaps lacking a "B!" at the start?
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by BroJames:
Should the thread title be "U! G! L! Y! I dont need no alibi!" or is it intended for dyslexics as well?
...
...
Oh, FFS. Excuse me.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
New and improved thread title! Now with more OOOOOGLAAAAY!
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Graven Image
Shipmate
# 8755
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Posted
I was once called, "The skinny women who has no boobs," But I fought back with age and weight and now I am the plump women with big knockers so na na na.
So give me a U united
give me a G gals
give me a L looking
give me a Y yummy
GO UGLY YAH.
Posts: 2641 | From: Third planet from the sun. USA | Registered: Nov 2004
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
You. Rock. I was trying to think of an acronym.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Keep your skinny beanpole figure.
I'm quite happy being bigger!
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
Hairy legged balding middle aged farter knows what beauty it. Must like wine. Or tea. (Can a sensitive new age guy - okay not really - join?)
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Only if you let the girls fart, too.
Heck, let's compete!
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Only if you let the girls fart, too.
Heck, let's compete!
When someone farts, their sex is the last thing on my mind.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
I am thankful that in the society where I live being a tad overweight is almost a fashion statement in and of itself - it cost me a lot of money to get this big and fat so I'm proud of it even if my skinny Dr thinks I need more exercise.
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Wesley J
Silly Shipmate
# 6075
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
Only if you let the girls fart, too.
Heck, let's compete!
When someone farts, their sex is the last thing on my mind.
Some people fart when they're having sex!
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Be it as it may: Wesley J will stay. --- Euthanasia, that sounds good. An alpine neutral neighbourhood. Then back to Britain, all dressed in wood. Things were gonna get worse. (John Cooper Clarke)
Posts: 7354 | From: The Isles of Silly | Registered: May 2004
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
Yesterday, we drove a long way to the nearest Air Force base to get new ID's made. At this age we only use them to prove we have "Part B," medical coverage. We drove around the base, lost for about an hour, until we finally realized that if we got out of the car and peered at the faded-to- white signs on the outsides of the buildings, with our reading glasses on, then we might find the right one.
Hubs didn't get his new card because he had brought with him the logical paperwork and not the proper paperwork. We were reminded that it's not tours of duty in Iraq that cause the real PTSD in the military, it's this sort of day.
Anyway. My new ID revealed that, all unknowingly, I have reached a new level of OOOOGLY beyond my wildest dreams. Stand aside Firenze.
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Twilight:
Anyway. My new ID revealed that, all unknowingly, I have reached a new level of OOOOGLY beyond my wildest dreams. Stand aside Firenze.
That's the mark of a genuine ID card. A former colleague once showed me his new ID card photo, which bore a striking resemblance to Darth Vader.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
My UK passport photo suggests that I have been either inadequately defrosted or prematurely exhumed. Added to which, I have SCARS on my buttocks where the old hips were removed and the new inserted.
That makes me queen, no?
Triumphantly,
Scarbum
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
Me, I'm wondering about a passport photo that shows scars on one's bum.
Though in my case, it could be they weren't sure which was the face.
BadumTISH!
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Jack the Lass
Ship's airhead
# 3415
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
A number of years ago Erma Bombeck wrote When You Look Like Your Passport Photo, It's Time to Go Home. The one I had done last year was so bad I had a new one taken.
I've done that too. My current passport photo is (eventually) OK, but I look like Myra Hindley's prison mugshot on my driving licence.
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"My body is a temple - it's big and doesn't move." (Jo Brand)
wiblog blipfoto blog
Posts: 5767 | From: the land of the deep-fried Mars Bar | Registered: Oct 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
That's the spirit!
My passport photo used to feature me with a lovely bloom of rosacea across my nose. In my latest I put on makeup, but the guy apparently told me to smile a split second after he took the picture. I look like I have been given a two week jail furlough to go n an international trip.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
My passport photo is OK, although I have to get a new passport next year, which means new photo too.
My drivers license photo is also OK and my license doesn't expire until 2019.
I got to choose the photo I wanted to appear on my senior citizen TAP card (rapid transit pass for Los Angeles), so that one's definitely OK.
But the photo on my New York City reduced fare rapid transit pass could be mistaken for that of someone on their deathbed.
BTW -- ladies don't fart, they get out and walk Donald (No. 77 -- scroll down). Who knew?
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Down with euphemisms! Fart with exhuberance, ladies!
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
(Sigh) this used to be Heaven...
You enjoy the Grunge Revival if you want, I'm a fully paid up lifelong member of the Aesthetic Movement (and the first thing I will do if I become Prime Minister is to ban the colour khaki and restrict sales of black clothing).
But anyway, enjoy your descent into uglification. Gurn away.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Imagine there's no heaven
That's a different story
All of the ugly women
Would go to Purgatory
Imagine fluffy bunnies
Arguing away, yoo hoo!
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Trudy Scrumptious
BBE Shieldmaiden
# 5647
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Posted
I've always thought of myself as somewhere between "quite average" and "mildly (but not horribly) unattractive," and am happy to join any movement that embraces plainness instead of striving to believe we're all beautiful. I'm smart, funny, and tough as nails. Do I really need to be pretty too? I do not.
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Books and things.
I lied. There are no things. Just books.
Posts: 7428 | From: Closer to Paris than I am to Vancouver | Registered: Mar 2004
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
quote:
Originally posted by Brenda Clough:
Well, I'm doing my part. The heroine of the current work is not young and famously ugly to boot.
THANK you!
CS Lewis got there first. Orual is one of my favourite heroines.
And I seem to remember Adam Trenton, the protagonist of Wheels by Arthur Hailey, having the epiphany that "ugly is beautiful". Perhaps he should be the patron saint of this thread?
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Till We Have Faces is grossly underrated and unfairly overlooked. And Lewis' best book by a league.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Lothlorien
Ship's Grandma
# 4927
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lots of Yay:
I'm currently planning a trip to Japan and apparently I have to learn a Japanese phrase to the effect of "the water is very carbonated today" for use if farting should occur in the communal baths.
All said quite nonchalantly I guess. No blushes perhaps? Good to see you here, especially since wibsite had a very nasty turn.
This is a bit of a tangent but I do not know where you are working. My little granddaughter with the ALL is now not so little and is officially in remission for the last few months.
[ 01. October 2016, 22:46: Message edited by: Lothlorien ]
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Buy a bale. Help our Aussie rural communities and farmers. Another great cause needing support The High Country Patrol.
Posts: 9745 | From: girt by sea | Registered: Aug 2003
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Patdys
Iron Wannabe
RooK-Annoyer
# 9397
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lots of Yay:
I'm currently planning a trip to Japan and apparently I have to learn a Japanese phrase to the effect of "the water is very carbonated today" for use if farting should occur in the communal baths.
For the first post back after an extended absence, that is an absolute beauty (if I can use that word on this thread). Welcome back Yay.
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Marathon run. Next Dream. Australian this time.
Posts: 3511 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
Till We Have Faces is grossly underrated and unfairly overlooked. And Lewis' best book by a league.
Yes, Lewis was justifiably proud of his ability to get into the head of an unattractive woman. They are by no means unknown in literature, but clearly much more rare than the beauteous doe-eyed heroines of nearly every book.
The French have a term, jolie-laide, which essentially means an ugly but attractive woman.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Brenda Clough:
The French have a term, jolie-laide, which essentially means an ugly but attractive woman.
Yes, I met one once who had a face like the back of a bus and a good line in vocal fry, but she only had to walk into a room and men instantly started drooling over her. I could see why, though I still don't know how she did it: she was somehow effortlessly sexy. Body language, I guess.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I love that word.
While we are praising the plain women of Literature, can we give a shout out to Meg from "A Wrinkle in Time"?
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Trudy Scrumptious
BBE Shieldmaiden
# 5647
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Posted
Not great literature by any means, but a book I used to love years ago was a novel called The Boyfriend School by Sarah Bird, whose heroine was a self-admittedly not very attractive woman who bemoaned not only being not pretty but having the horrible-sounding name of Gretchen Griner. Of course when this quite funny novel was made into a terrible, terrible movie, not only was she played by the quite conventionally attractive Jami Gertz, the character's name was changed to Emily Pear, and there was even a scene inserted with her love interest musing on what a beautiful name she had. Geez.
It's one thing to write a book with a plain-looking heroine, but what are the odds you'd be able to get a movie made? Are plain woman even allowed in Hollywood?
I've long said that if I became improbably famous enough to need a movie of my life I'd want to be played by Allison Janney, who was once told by an agent that she was tall and so ugly she could only play aliens or lesbians. (Or presumably lesbian aliens?). But in fact she is quite strikingly attractive, with great bones. Genuinely unattractive women don't make it far in the film industry, I don't think.
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Books and things.
I lied. There are no things. Just books.
Posts: 7428 | From: Closer to Paris than I am to Vancouver | Registered: Mar 2004
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Allison Janey is another handsome woman. And she has the speaking voice of a harald angel.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Tiffany Aching of The Wee Free Men by Pratchett early on decided if she couldn't be fairy tale princess material (being brown haired and plain), she could and would be a witch. And also a very good cheese maker. In a later story she discovered that looks-as-destiny could cut both ways, and that the beautiful, blond daughter of a duke was finding it hard to recognize herself as the witch that she really was.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
One of the things that has happened over the past century or so is that women are writing more of the books. This inevitably moves us away from the fairy-tale heroine and over to real women. I am in hopes that the ageing of the author population will get us works like those of Linda Nagata and Lois Bujold, about older women who still can be the center of their stories.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Jane Eyre was there first of course. Small, plain, socially obscure but morally and intellectually pure fire and steel.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Athrawes
Ship's parrot
# 9594
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Posted
And some of the film adaptations have even managed to portray her, if not as plain, asat least as someone a bit different and not ravishing.
(Another uuuuuuuuugly, middle aged woman checking in, with so many scars that Frankenstein's monster gets jealous.)
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Explaining why is going to need a moment, since along the way we must take in the Ancient Greeks, the study of birds, witchcraft, 19thC Vaudeville and the history of baseball. Michael Quinion.
Posts: 2966 | From: somewhere with a book shop | Registered: Jun 2005
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Embrace our sister, ugly folk!
![[Axe murder]](graemlins/lovedrops.gif)
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
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Posted
I am, at best, mousy and plain. And I'm fat. And I have frizzy, unmanageable hair going grey. And I'm 54. *sigh* I have come to accept my general unattractiveness. Preach it, sisters!
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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!
Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
The novels I am currently writing center around a famously ugly woman. They begin when she is 30, and end when she is 60. Not only have I evaded all the teenaged-blonde-beauty cliches, I do believe I have completely managed the inherent sexism of the culture. The trick is to split off what she does from what she, and everybody else, says. So she pulls out the gun and shoots the villain. Then she declares, "Women can't do this sort of thing, we are too weak and frail." Everyone else nods and agrees, and she puts away her gun.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
The heroine of the story I have been writing was originally named Maggie, but it didn't fit her neurotic, insecure persona. Maggies are adorable, Maggies are popular, a Maggie might have a few flaws, but they are endearing and forgivable.
So I dropped the "M" and decided she was Aggie. As in Agnes. I wanted a name that was somewhat of an albatross.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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venbede
Shipmate
# 16669
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Posted
Maggie sure isn't adorable for some of us in the UK.
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Man was made for joy and woe;
And when this we rightly know,
Thro' the world we safely go.
Posts: 3201 | From: An historic market town nestling in the folds of Surrey's rolling North Downs, | Registered: Sep 2011
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Well, yeah.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Athrawes
Ship's parrot
# 9594
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Posted
Thank you. That was the one I was trying to link to.
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Explaining why is going to need a moment, since along the way we must take in the Ancient Greeks, the study of birds, witchcraft, 19thC Vaudeville and the history of baseball. Michael Quinion.
Posts: 2966 | From: somewhere with a book shop | Registered: Jun 2005
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Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by venbede:
Maggie sure isn't adorable for some of us in the UK.
I blame George Elliot in Mill on the Floss for that.
Jengie
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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
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