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Source: (consider it) Thread: The Instruction of Children
LutheranChik
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Totally agree about the problems of hit- or- miss instruction. When I was a kid, back during the Baby Boom, our church had a huge Sunday School, with each grade in its own room after the all- grades devotion. I can't imagine that ever happening again.

What my former church tried to do to fill in the educational gaps was basically a DIY homedchool Sunday School program; enrolled parents would get a monthly packet with four weeks of Bible lessons and devotionals suited for family reading/ discussion, plus games and suggested activities. (Even then, not all the parents even bothered to pick them up, necessitating a monthly mailing.) Then every month there'd be a special Sunday School hour at church where kids could interact with one another. This was not a rousing success, and the church eventually switched to a monthly All Ages weekend get- together at a sympathetic local preschool, where adults had mommy/ daddy time with intermittant Bible study in one r room, the kids had Sunday School in another, and everyone joined for an informal meal and service with Eucharist afterward. This tack finally seems to have worked, at least as far as parent participation, and I think they're on about their third year.

(In this scenario the left- out parties were the tweens -- not old enough to mix easily with the high school confirmation class kids, too old for the Sunday School activities. They wound up being minders, which isn't really my idea of including them in the learning community...they got a quarterly lock-in retreat, but no regular learning space of their own besides that.

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Simul iustus et peccator
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Lamb Chopped
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SUCKY suck suck suck suckety suck.

Give me pumpkin innards any day over the sucky theology of that presenter.

It's bloody heresy. And no doubt they don't even know it.

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

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SusanDoris

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anoesis

I would have felt as you do in OP! Mind you, I would not have gone in the first place, but that's beside the point.
It was in my opinion entirely inappropriate to provide such an image for children, being not only a bit weirde factually, but also wrong psychologically. As a teacher I would never have presented any lesson or situation in such an appallingly negative way.
From an atheist point of view I would add that to tell them they need Jesus etc is to tell them something that is false, since Jesus has been dead for nearly 2,000 years and the presenter could not in any way back up what he said with correct evidence.

Hope you don't mind the fairly forceful way I have written this!

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I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

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Bishops Finger
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@LutheranChik - Our Place seems to be working towards a smaller version of your church's monthly All-Age event. Ours is for 7-12s, and has proved quite popular with local young families (we call it 'Crafty Church').

The people running it would now like to expand the worship/teaching element a little, and encourage more parent participation, based on that which already exists.

Our previous priest took no interest in it whatever, but, if and when we get a new priest-in-charge, we might be able to incorporate a very simple Eucharist as well, not necessarily every month. We shall see.

We don't have a regular Sunday School on Sunday mornings now, but those children who do attend the Eucharist seem quite happy to spend the whole hour in church with Mater and Pater.

@SusanDoris - don't forget that even devout Christians can't directly prove the existence of God, either!

[Biased]

IJ

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Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)

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cliffdweller
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quote:
Originally posted by Bishops Finger:
@cliffdweller - thanks for sharing your not altogether lovely experiences of Godly Play, with warnings duly noted.

IJ

Oh, my experiences ARE mostly lovely-- there is so much that is wonderful about the approach But yes, some warnings should be noted-- as with all curricula.

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"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner

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mark_in_manchester

not waving, but...
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quote:
And here we get to the good bit. The prop was, surprise, surprise, a pumpkin. My keen mommy-eyes could see that it had been pre-hacked-about-with in the style of a jack-o-lantern and the pieces re-inserted. (Actually, I imagine anyone over five picked that up). Anyway, the story concerned a farmer who grew all kinds of pumpkins, that came out looking different, different sizes, different, skins, each one unique, etc., etc. How lovely. Well, one day, the farmer took a look inside one of his pumpkins, and saw what was in there. 'We all know what's inside pumpkins, don't we, kids', says the children's worker, lifting a handful of pre-loosened innards for inspection - 'all this gross, slimy, gooey junk - uck!!' - drops it to one side on the tray while I think to myself, You have got to be freaking kidding me. Is this going where I think it is? Oh, yes. Oh yes it is. Well the farmer fixed his pumpkin up very nicely, much better than before. He scraped out all the yucky junk and put a candle in there so the light could shine out through the eyes and the smile. And that's why we need Jesus, to replace all the bad stuff inside of us and shine out through our smiles.
Well...I'm going to poke my neck out and say I think this could be OK! (I wasn't there, and perhaps the delivery was wonky. But...)

What if we decide to get across to kids things like

"All have sinned, and come short of the glory of God"

"If we say we have not sinned, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us"

"Oh wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from this body of death?"

My kids (now 10 and 12) have long, long been OK with the sensible idea that everyone is a tw*t, including Mum, Dad, and themselves. It's part of the Good News, required so that lovejoypeacepatiencegoodnesskindnessfaithfullnessgentlenessselfcontrol exist - are real, solid, objective, to be relied upon, not the outcome of a focus group - and that their absence is not due to the foreigners, the unemployed, the (dare I say it) bosses - but due to all of us.

And Jesus-in-me does make me smile, now and again. He even temporarily stops me being such a twat, until the next time. My kids have often reminded me of his apparent absence in me.

(Most memorably during a heated argument my wife and I were having in the car about the fruit of the spirit. They just about broke their nascent irony meters [Smile] ).

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"We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard
(so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)

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Baptist Trainfan
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quote:
Originally posted by mark_in_manchester:
Most memorably during a heated argument my wife and I were having in the car about the fruit of the spirit.

You had an argument with your wife in the CAR?

Surely not! That's never, ever happened to us, of course ... [Hot and Hormonal] [Hot and Hormonal]

[ 31. October 2017, 16:30: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]

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sabine
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quote:
Originally posted by hatless:


I suspect there is something about the expectation that you can express the Gospel in five visually memorable minutes to a group aged from 2 to 102 that produces such dreadful failures.

Especially since it took Jesus his entire life to live it, and the rest of us are stumbling along in his footsteps. Visualising the process as a pumpkin just makes me want to kick the darn thing out of the way so I can get on with the process. [Smile]

I remember someone trying to describe grace to me as a child....a vase that gets filled if you're good but spills if you do something against God's wishes. ????

Seriously, sometimes I think we underestimate the ability of children to absorb (over time) ideas about God's love and how to live within that love.

sabine

[ 31. October 2017, 19:25: Message edited by: sabine ]

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"Hunger looks like the man that hunger is killing." Eduardo Galeano

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Martin60
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Hey m_i_m, love ya man. Real, cognitive, true. How Jesus makes us magically better, I can't imagine. Us being real, cognitive and true, honest, naked, vulnerable, yeah, that helps for sure. Well, at least it does no harm.

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Love wins

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Martin60
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Kids need to know that they are normal, that everything they feel is normal. OK. Natural. Every scary, scared impulse, every feeling. That is better, best objectively, safely said than acted out.

And God will ALWAYS listen and fully understand and wants you to find a way ahead with Him if no one else, for the rest of your life: it's the same for EVERYBODY, especially people who have known themselves for longer.

Why we're scaring kids with the weirdness of the Bible, the NT, let alone the OT, I don't know. I think the RCC was on to something in keeping it out of unlearned hands.

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Love wins

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Golden Key
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Many people do alternative jack-o-lanterns--religious symbols (even a cross), stencils, words, etc. It's easy to adjust.

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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

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ExclamationMark
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quote:
Originally posted by Bishops Finger:
we might be able to incorporate a very simple Eucharist as well, not necessarily every month. We shall see.

Why do you need to? Celebrate what you have - it's their "church."

Please don't go down that route or it will just become another "service"

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anoesis
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Hi everyone - thanks for your responses and sorry about not checking back in before now - we're moving house at the moment so all is chaos and internet coverage is patchy. In order to avoid a huge blurt of posts all by me, one after another, I'm going to address a few short responses in one, and take time for a couple of longer ones after, if I have the energy..

Morgan - I found your idea of reflecting on the choices we make when faced with those we find different or scary inspired - I would never have thought of that but it will be on my mind come next Halloween.

Other - You don't need to be concerned about my kids making anything of my reaction - I managed not to have one at the time, and haven't actually gone back over the ground with them specifically - I just feel like I might need to reinforce that it's ok to be you, the way you are. I sure wish folk had been clearer about that point with me, as a child.

Stejjie - [Overused] - and nothing more to add...

To those scoffing at light parties - it's not that I think they're particularly wonderful, nor that I think that Halloween is to be stringently resisted on the basis that it's somehow celebrating evil - it's more that I'd prefer not to get us involved in Halloween because it was just never done here until recently, and still isn't widespread, despite retailers' best efforts. It's abundantly clear to anyone with a few cells still ticking over that it's nothing more than an excuse to shift tonnes of cheap shit in the form of costumes and sell bushels and bushels of sugar - and all in the service of what, exactly? Whereas in the States there's some actual weight of tradition behind it - I mean, it's not even pumpkin time of year here, for crying out loud - they're having to be imported!

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The history of humanity give one little hope that strength left to its own devices won't be abused. Indeed, it gives one little ground to think that strength would continue to exist if it were not abused. -- Dafyd --

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anoesis
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quote:
Originally posted by Martin60:
Kids need to know that they are normal, that everything they feel is normal. OK. Natural. Every scary, scared impulse, every feeling. That is better, best objectively, safely said than acted out.

Yeah, I think you may be right. Just like it helps to hear your spouse say, 'I love you'. I mean, it's not like you don't believe it, but it makes a difference, to hear it now and then.

I sometimes wonder if this race to get children to 'invite Jesus into their hearts' as early as possible is based on some sort of theological version of the idea that nature abhors a vacuum, and if you don't fill 'em up with Jesus, then the devil will move in before you know it. If so, it's an analogy I'm unconvinced by.

quote:
Originally posted by Martin60:
Why we're scaring kids with the weirdness of the Bible, the NT, let alone the OT, I don't know. I think the RCC was on to something in keeping it out of unlearned hands.

This will amuse you - My mother (fundagelical), relating to me (aged about ten, probably), a conversation she'd recently had with her own mother (Roman Catholic). Mum: "She said to me, you don't let your children read the Bible, do you? I mean, it's full of prostitutes, and incest, and murder! Ha, ha, ha!" Me: [Paranoid] ... ? ... ?

But, in all seriousness, my parents read the WHOLE Bible through, over and over, a chapter a day, at mealtime, throughout my childhood and adolescence, and - honestly - I don't know how I feel about that. I think I'm probably not sorry they did it, in many ways, but it probably did have the effect that the bits of it that resonated most with me for the longest time were the parts that made good stories, rather than the parts that contained good instruction. I mean, the book of Daniel is a rollicking read, Jonah is kind of hilarious, and Esther seems really neat too before you are old enough to think through how seriously fucked up all that stuff is. The thing is, I suspect just reading it isn't enough - I had read it all, so many times, I could quote chunks of it off by heart, and I'm only just realising now (in my forties, and having had a break from it for a while), what some of the undercurrents running through the thing are. Maybe the Bible is like a crossword in that way - you make better progress with it if you put it down and do some other stuff for a while. [Biased]

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The history of humanity give one little hope that strength left to its own devices won't be abused. Indeed, it gives one little ground to think that strength would continue to exist if it were not abused. -- Dafyd --

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mr cheesy
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quote:
Originally posted by anoesis:
Maybe the Bible is like a crossword in that way - you make better progress with it if you put it down and do some other stuff for a while. [Biased]

This. I'm not sure there are any suitable stories to teach children from the bible. The idea seems zany in a lot of ways.

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arse

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anoesis
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quote:
Originally posted by mark_in_manchester:
Well...I'm going to poke my neck out and say I think this could be OK! (I wasn't there, and perhaps the delivery was wonky. But...)

What if we decide to get across to kids things like

"All have sinned, and come short of the glory of God"

"If we say we have not sinned, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us"

"Oh wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from this body of death?"

Mark - thanks for your contribution - it's made me think. In response to the above, [With the disclaimer that I Am Not A Teacher] I would simply not attempt verse three with children - they're likely to focus on the 'body of death' bit to the exclusion of all else, and the context it's nested in, in Romans, is, well, complex. And what if they don't feel wretched? Does that mean there's something wrong with them? With reference to verse 2, well, yeah... I would, I guess, prefer to approach sin as a state we're in, rather than a set of things we have (or potentially, haven't) done, with reference to a predefined set of rules. It potentially does make it more difficult to explain by illustration, but at least it avoids turning God into an frowning sky-father or a headmaster with spies everywhere. As to the first verse, I'd be quite comfortable addressing this topic with children. Nobody's perfect. Nobody. And no matter how hard they try, nobody can make themselves perfect. So even though it might seem to us like there are lots of differences between people - different languages, different race, some rich, some poor, some kind, some not, etc., etc., - there's one important way we're all the same. Not perfect, and all in need of God's help.

quote:
Originally posted by mark_in_manchester:
My kids (now 10 and 12) have long, long been OK with the sensible idea that everyone is a tw*t, including Mum, Dad, and themselves. It's part of the Good News, required so that lovejoypeacepatiencegoodnesskindnessfaithfullnessgentlenessselfcontrol exist - are real, solid, objective, to be relied upon, not the outcome of a focus group - and that their absence is not due to the foreigners, the unemployed, the (dare I say it) bosses - but due to all of us.

Well, if you actually do specifically outline that last bit to your children, then very good on you.

quote:
Originally posted by mark_in_manchester:
And Jesus-in-me does make me smile, now and again.

Here's the thing* - I guess everyone brings their own baggage to any message they hear, and I brought the baggage of an evangelical upbringing to the message I heard a few days ago. One of the reasons I had such a visceral reaction to it was that I'm still struggling to shed some of the damage that upbringing did to me, psychologically. How could having Jesus in my heart damage me psychologically, you ask? Well, it did not give me peace and joy and patience and etc., but years and years of guilt and shame and anxiety, and sometimes even terror, over my unfitness - mostly because of my lack of 'fruits', in spite of the intensity of my belief. It really, seriously grinds my gears to hear people saying things like 'Jesus shining out through your smile', because I have come to realise, slowly, painfully, that yes, I'm ok the way I am - I'm acceptable the way I am - and here's the thing. I'm not a happy person. I'm just not. I don't mean that I'm tortured, or deeply miserable. Neither do I suffer much from anxiety or guilt, any more. But 'happy' just isn't me. Oh, you will say, well, happiness is a misused term - it should really be joy. Well, I'm not joyous either, most of the time. Sometimes I'm depressed, and when I'm not, I'm mostly neutral. And I'm ok with that. Probably because of this, I think happiness is grossly oversold, and the practice of suggesting that knowing Jesus will make one happy is wronger than a wrong thing on a wrong day in Wrongville. If you try and get an idea of what the disciples might have felt, when called, ISTM that happiness just isn't in the picture at all. Excitement, possibly - inspiration, opportunity, urgency, the sense of being part of something so much greater than themselves - a whole new kingdom! Happiness seems sort of...insipid, somehow, in comparison to that. Is that the best we can tempt people with? Martin's just said upthread, maybe the RCC are on to something. Right now, I'm leaning toward the Sallies**. Trumpets! Cymbals! Join the Lord's Army!!

*This will inevitably turn into a rant, but it isn't aimed at you, ok?
**I've also had two glasses of wine, so it's not impossible I'll recant some of this at some point. Or at least regret the way I worded it.

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The history of humanity give one little hope that strength left to its own devices won't be abused. Indeed, it gives one little ground to think that strength would continue to exist if it were not abused. -- Dafyd --

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mark_in_manchester

not waving, but...
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quote:
This. I'm not sure there are any suitable stories to teach children from the bible. The idea seems zany in a lot of ways.

Alright, I'll bite again. Suitable in whose terms? Within its own terms, it surely the Bible can't rule itself out. So which acknowledged or un-acknowledged g(G)od is guiding us in our decisions about suitability?

On the 'OT - let's not even go there' front - with which I have some sympathy, having taught Sunday school - I happen to be reading a collection of essays by Marilynne Robinson called 'When I was a child I read books'. There's one in there called 'Moses: The Fate of Ideas' which expands rather learnedly on the theme of judging the OT by C21 standards, and what that implies about what we think of its status as literature.

I intend to discuss the article with my kids when the occasion next arises [Smile]

(Oh - and if you haven't read her novel 'Gilead', I very much recommend it).

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"We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard
(so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)

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mark_in_manchester

not waving, but...
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x-post with Anoesis - to be addressed, then I really ought to go to work [Smile]

quote:
I have come to realise, slowly, painfully, that yes, I'm ok the way I am - I'm acceptable the way I am - and here's the thing. I'm not a happy person...If you try and get an idea of what the disciples might have felt, when called, ISTM that happiness just isn't in the picture at all. Excitement, possibly - inspiration, opportunity, urgency, the sense of being part of something so much greater than themselves - a whole new kingdom! ...Right now, I'm leaning toward the Sallies**. Trumpets! Cymbals! Join the Lord's Army!!
I see now perhaps where you are coming from. I think if I felt 'Jesus didn't make me happy, so I failed' then this would suck. Perhaps I rather more feel 'I failed.' (all the time, to be expected, nothing unusual about it, no need to be anything more than just averagely mindful (rather than complacent) about it, so as not to add more pride and hypocrisy to the already smelly mix). The failure is OK, because I am accepted. This acceptance gives me at least a shot at having the heart to have another go - without it, I would be left with a big 'fuck it'. With it - well, why not have another shot, and try not to smash my head on the wall quite so hard next time (see my sig).

Sallies - I've skirted around them in the past; I could do that too (if I could give up my residual drink thing, which I might be growing slowly out of). I also hang with RCs, and I'm meant to be a liberal Methodist. It's handy to not have to take on the group identity but to find what we have in common. Around here, breathing Christians need to do that; there are not so many left.

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"We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard
(so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)

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mr cheesy
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quote:
Originally posted by mark_in_manchester:
quote:
This. I'm not sure there are any suitable stories to teach children from the bible. The idea seems zany in a lot of ways.

Alright, I'll bite again. Suitable in whose terms? Within its own terms, it surely the Bible can't rule itself out. So which acknowledged or un-acknowledged g(G)od is guiding us in our decisions about suitability?
In the simple terms that the stories are not suitable for children.

quote:
On the 'OT - let's not even go there' front - with which I have some sympathy, having taught Sunday school - I happen to be reading a collection of essays by Marilynne Robinson called 'When I was a child I read books'. There's one in there called 'Moses: The Fate of Ideas' which expands rather learnedly on the theme of judging the OT by C21 standards, and what that implies about what we think of its status as literature.
Again, y'know, I do try to be a sensible and thoughtful adult. And I did try when my child was small to give some sort of guidance as to what they were exposed to. As it happens, my child was frightened by witches, ghosts and violent people when around 5. I wouldn't have deliberately taken them to the library and told them that they had to listen to something that clearly made them upset - so why should they have to listen to these upsetting stories in church?

It seems to me that things said in church would be unacceptable to say to 5 year old children in almost any other context.

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arse

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bib
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I think I would have felt pressed to challenge the teacher instructing children re pumpkins. I love pumpkin innards - we roast pumpkin pieces, make pumpkin soup and enjoy mashed pumpkin.I have no interest in the skin that people use to create grotesque faces. I grow plenty of pumpkins in my garden and they are a valuable food source for my family. I would rather teach children this than the rubbish that was dished out in the children'setting.

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"My Lord, my Life, my Way, my End, accept the praise I bring"

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SvitlanaV2
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Jemima the 9th

Unfortunately, if your church wasn't interested in 'clocking up sales for Jesus' (i.e. evangelism) it probably wouldn't have attracted 100 kids, and would almost certainly have too few committed, able and willing adult Christians to work with them.

mr cheesy

I wonder how many children are damaged by attending mainstream, normal Sunday schools. Sunday school attendance has fallen dramatically, which perhaps signifies that Sunday school really is a very unpleasant environment for children.

I think the more usual attitude among leavers is that Sunday school is simply boring and babyish, but perhaps parents who don't send their children at all do worry that the experience might be harmful in some way.

OTOH, it seems so normal now for modern kids to access age-inappropriate video games, films and websites. Family break up and the influence of the wider society also mean that many children (from non-religious families) hardly live in a protective cocoon when it comes to scary ideas.

[ 01. November 2017, 12:27: Message edited by: SvitlanaV2 ]

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mark_in_manchester

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quote:
In the simple terms that the stories are not suitable for children.
Well...I get that as parents we have to make snap choices about 'suitability' all the time. But this is Purgatory - even if we don't acknowledge the complexity of the way we decide 'what's suitable' in the moment we are doing it, it's surely informed by a load of deep-down stuff which is not simple.

In the context of the kind of purgatorial knob-polishing we're indulging in, it's perhaps a grotesque posture to pull up that I had to tell my kids, at age 4 and 2, that one of their classmates was dead. Later I had to confirm the playground rumour that the father was responsible for the death. I suppose I am saying that life is unsuitable, and that I welcome digging into that with my kids in the context of bible stories. More than welcome it.

--------------------
"We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard
(so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)

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Martin60
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@anoesis. Good stuff. Yeah, the OT's full of great dark stories, folk tales, myths, fables, allegories, it sits in the pantheon around the Greek ones in concentric circles of time and culture (Egyptian, Babylonian, Norse, Celtic), as long as they're given equal weight and subject to sound educational principles.

But they're not.

And as you imply, Prods are desperate to get anyone 'saved', a bankrupt enterprise, and the only captive audience they've got is pre-pubescent church kids.

On good, decent, contemporary, open, honest, safe, useful moral education, what does the Bible, ESPECIALLY the gospels, Acts and epistles, clearly have to say to anyone? Let alone kids.

It needs deconstructing and Prods can't do that. Roman Catholics and Orthodox have their beautiful enduring traditions, low Protestantism has textism, obsession with trying to live in the first century without having been an ancient Jew, Greek or Roman and blissfully unaware of the two thousand years of enculturation it has gone through since.

Sigh.

What do low Protestants think they that have that everyone, starting with kids, needs? The grammatical-historical method of looking at entrails? What does this giblet mean? What is God trying to say to us with this mesentery? This needs MORE Bible study! MORE prayer. NEVER deconstruction. That is watering down the word of God!

Sigh.

The closest I get to instructing children is the God Slot after the soup kitchen on a Friday night. In the herding of cats I try and find a way of encouraging anyone to share how they feel and why they think they feel that way. All the while cringing at the absurd texts and declarations of God's love from the 'top'. So pretty close really.

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Love wins

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mr cheesy
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quote:
Originally posted by SvitlanaV2:

mr cheesy

I wonder how many children are damaged by attending mainstream, normal Sunday schools. Sunday school attendance has fallen dramatically, which perhaps signifies that Sunday school really is a very unpleasant environment for children.

I don't know. I've known various kids who have been through this kind of religious schooling and have emerged relatively unscathed.

My worry is that if they ever properly understood the bible stories that they were being taught, it ought to scar them and that if it doesn't something is seriously wrong.

quote:
I think the more usual attitude among leavers is that Sunday school is simply boring and babyish, but perhaps parents who don't send their children at all do worry that the experience might be harmful in some way.

OTOH, it seems so normal now for modern kids to access age-inappropriate video games, films and websites. Family break up and the influence of the wider society also mean that many children (from non-religious families) hardly live in a protective cocoon when it comes to scary ideas.

Yes, and I don't think this is a good thing. I thought long and hard about how to bring up my children, and determined that I was going to ensure that they were only exposed to various scary things about life in a timely manner and in a supportive environment.

It hasn't always gone to plan, but it is wrong to suggest that my child has never been exposed to scary things.

Some kids enjoy being a bit scared, but my child didn't*. Through the years I consciously and slowly introduced various ideas when they were ready for them and in an age-appropriate way.

This seemed undermined when going to church and the church activities included colouring-in weapons in a Roman soldier's armour or learning about Samson.

Yes, there is a time and place for learning about the Romans - I'm just not sure it is when a small child and in the context of being told that this is something important and spiritual.

* and still doesn't. During early teens when most kids were reading vampire books, ghost stories etc, my child was reading books about animals and other children.

[ 01. November 2017, 12:44: Message edited by: mr cheesy ]

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arse

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mr cheesy
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quote:
Originally posted by mark_in_manchester:
Well...I get that as parents we have to make snap choices about 'suitability' all the time. But this is Purgatory - even if we don't acknowledge the complexity of the way we decide 'what's suitable' in the moment we are doing it, it's surely informed by a load of deep-down stuff which is not simple.

In the context of the kind of purgatorial knob-polishing we're indulging in, it's perhaps a grotesque posture to pull up that I had to tell my kids, at age 4 and 2, that one of their classmates was dead. Later I had to confirm the playground rumour that the father was responsible for the death. I suppose I am saying that life is unsuitable, and that I welcome digging into that with my kids in the context of bible stories. More than welcome it.

I wasn't aware that I was "knob-polishing", I was expressing my view (which seems to be generally unpopular) that the bible isn't really suitable for young children. Much of it is unsuitable even for older children.

I would never say to a child that a parent was responsible for the death of a classmate.

Shiny knob or not, I have a responsibility to try to protect my child from nightmares when they are 4 years old.

[ 01. November 2017, 12:49: Message edited by: mr cheesy ]

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arse

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Martin60
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mr cheesy: 'My worry is that if they ever properly understood the bible stories that they were being taught, it ought to scar them and that if it doesn't something is seriously wrong.'. Superb.

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Love wins

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Bishops Finger
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When Our Place was built over a century ago, there were 400 children in the Sunday School (they'd have been meeting in the original Mission Church, but how they packed 'em all in, I know not - they must have had at least two Sunday afternoon sessions).

I rather doubt if all their parents had been in church for the High Mass at 11am, though some might have attended Evensong.

Nowadays (and taking into account the changed demographics - fewer children in the parish), we reckon on 20 or so (7-12s) at the monthly Crafty Church, and maybe up to 6 (under-16s) on an average Sunday morning.

Yes, Sunday School has indeed had its day - but the Beavers/Cubs/Scouts continue to flourish, with 120+ on their books, and a waiting list!

IJ

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Our words are giants when they do us an injury, and dwarfs when they do us a service. (Wilkie Collins)

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SvitlanaV2
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quote:
Originally posted by mr cheesy:
I've known various kids who have been through this kind of religious schooling and have emerged relatively unscathed.

My worry is that if they ever properly understood the bible stories that they were being taught, it ought to scar them and that if it doesn't something is seriously wrong.


Does anyone 'properly' understand Bible stories?? AFAICS there's a whole lot of disagreement. Admittedly, the average Sunday school teacher probably isn't a serious theologian, so nothing is going to be explored in any great depth.

I suppose if you belong to a church you can at least discuss with the Sunday school teacher what's being taught. I don't know how much power the individual will have in changing things, but it might be easier if the Sunday school is fairly small, and if the questioning parent has more influence and status in the church than the teacher.

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Lamb Chopped
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quote:
Originally posted by mark_in_manchester:
quote:
In the simple terms that the stories are not suitable for children.
Well...I get that as parents we have to make snap choices about 'suitability' all the time. But this is Purgatory - even if we don't acknowledge the complexity of the way we decide 'what's suitable' in the moment we are doing it, it's surely informed by a load of deep-down stuff which is not simple.

In the context of the kind of purgatorial knob-polishing we're indulging in, it's perhaps a grotesque posture to pull up that I had to tell my kids, at age 4 and 2, that one of their classmates was dead. Later I had to confirm the playground rumour that the father was responsible for the death. I suppose I am saying that life is unsuitable, and that I welcome digging into that with my kids in the context of bible stories. More than welcome it.

This.

I'm currently inflicting the chapter-a-day on my kid, and it has (among many other things) allowed us to discuss the existence of evil in the world, and cope better when that evil comes close to home. I'd rather he get his exposure to such things through the Bible than through sensationalized movies and TV. He's going to get it, one way or the other.

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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

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mark_in_manchester

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quote:
I wasn't aware that I was "knob-polishing"

Sorry - I was sending myself up, on the queasy realisation that I was half-way through using the death of my kids' friend as a rhetorical device on an internet chat forum. What a thing is pride.

quote:
I would never say to a child that a parent was responsible for the death of a classmate.

I didn't either, at first - I guess it was unnecessary, or even unsuitable. But it became necessary when the knowledge circulated through the school. We don't always get to choose.

Thinking back, I felt a little as I felt when first telling my very young kids about Easter.

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"We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard
(so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)

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anoesis
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quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
I'm currently inflicting the chapter-a-day on my kid, and it has (among many other things) allowed us to discuss the existence of evil in the world, and cope better when that evil comes close to home. I'd rather he get his exposure to such things through the Bible than through sensationalized movies and TV. He's going to get it, one way or the other.

At least you are uniquely placed to work through it with him and discuss tricky bits as they come up. In my home, the Bible was read, as is, in King James's English, all of it - and I remember my Father stumbling embarrassedly through the Song of Songs, the eternal boringness of Chronicles, and the serious weirdness of Ecclesiastes. I think they would have been afraid to leave anything out - I mean, if it's the word of God, it's the word of God, right? And therefore it's ok.

The oddest thing is, I don't remember asking a lot of questions about it, despite being basically a question-generating machine as a child. There was all this familiarity with words like circumcision, fornication, harlot, without knowing what any of them meant.

The earliest thing I recall being uncomfortable with is the story of Rahab (who was, if I remember correctly, an harlot... - but that's beside the point). What a shitty trick to play on your own people, to save your own skin. But apparently it's honourable to behave dishonourably, so long as you choose the right God...

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The history of humanity give one little hope that strength left to its own devices won't be abused. Indeed, it gives one little ground to think that strength would continue to exist if it were not abused. -- Dafyd --

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mark_in_manchester

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quote:
But apparently it's honourable to behave dishonourably, so long as you choose the right God
I hope I don't sound aggressive with this - but your statement interests me. ISTM our g(G)od(s) determine what, for each of us, is honourable; and if someone or something directs us to act dishonourably, then that person / thing is not our God, even if 'God' appears to be their name.

Christians have the incarnation as a touch-stone; WWJD? And here is our problem with the OT, when W(we think)JW(have)D(ne) looks at odds with the portrayal of God the father. Humanists have a different problem; their g(G)od isn't written down - but the strength of their feelings about dashing the babies heads against the rocks suggests, to me, He's real enough.

(I'm mansplaining to myself again - I'm slow on the uptake and writing my thoughts down gives them, to me, a plausibility they never seem to enjoy when rattling in my head. Hence the non-porn internet, perhaps.)

I really would recommend Marilynne Robinson on the OT, as suggested upthread. She's doing my head in right now.

--------------------
"We are punished by our sins, not for them" - Elbert Hubbard
(so good, I wanted to see it after my posts and not only after those of shipmate JBohn from whom I stole it)

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Golden Key
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quote:
Originally posted by mr cheesy:
quote:
Originally posted by anoesis:
Maybe the Bible is like a crossword in that way - you make better progress with it if you put it down and do some other stuff for a while. [Biased]

This. I'm not sure there are any suitable stories to teach children from the bible. The idea seems zany in a lot of ways.
I don't have kids. But if I did, and had the same spiritual progression/journey, I doubt that I'd raise them in church or Sunday school. I wouldn't want to teach them that things from my "don't know" stack are definitely true, and I wouldn't want to expose them to the nastier aspects and interpretations of the Bible and Christianity.

I'd definitely teach them the ethical stuff, "love thy neighbor", etc., and answer any religious questions they had the best I could, and any questions about my own ideas.

At some point, there would probably be conversations about things various people believe: Christianity, other religions, atheism and humanism {waves to Susan}, agnosticism, seeking, and simple disinterest. We might visit various groups. If the kids showed interest in a particular thing, I'd try to find a way to help them connect with it.

I wouldn't make a practice of reading the Bible to them, though I'd probably let them know my "don't know" view. And I might familiarize them with the basic things that I like and that they'd probably run into anyway--23rd Psalm, Lord's Prayer, etc.

And, of course, I'd worry about doing the right thing. But that goes with being a parent.

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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

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SusanDoris

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quote:
Originally posted by Golden Key:
quote:
Originally posted by mr cheesy:
quote:
Originally posted by anoesis:
Maybe the Bible is like a crossword in that way - you make better progress with it if you put it down and do some other stuff for a while. [Biased]

This. I'm not sure there are any suitable stories to teach children from the bible. The idea seems zany in a lot of ways.
I don't have kids. But if I did, and had the same spiritual progression/journey, I doubt that I'd raise them in church or Sunday school. I wouldn't want to teach them that things from my "don't know" stack are definitely true, and I wouldn't want to expose them to the nastier aspects and interpretations of the Bible and Christianity.

I'd definitely teach them the ethical stuff, "love thy neighbor", etc., and answer any religious questions they had the best I could, and any questions about my own ideas.

At some point, there would probably be conversations about things various people believe: Christianity, other religions, atheism and humanism {waves to Susan}, agnosticism, seeking, and simple disinterest. We might visit various groups. If the kids showed interest in a particular thing, I'd try to find a way to help them connect with it.

I wouldn't make a practice of reading the Bible to them, though I'd probably let them know my "don't know" view. And I might familiarize them with the basic things that I like and that they'd probably run into anyway--23rd Psalm, Lord's Prayer, etc.

And, of course, I'd worry about doing the right thing. But that goes with being a parent.

*waves back*!! Super post, Golden Key.

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I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

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anoesis
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quote:
Originally posted by mark_in_manchester:
quote:
But apparently it's honourable to behave dishonourably, so long as you choose the right God
I hope I don't sound aggressive with this - but your statement interests me. ISTM our g(G)od(s) determine what, for each of us, is honourable;
It sounds like you might be saying we each of us make God in our own image, to suit/post-rationalise our own morality.

Or perhaps you were saying that if I'm uncomfortable with this God's modus operandi, as relayed in the story of Rahab, then (he)'s not the God for me?

I think my position is something more like this: The Bible records in a variety of places that God helped the Children of Israel to great victories in which a vast number of of their enemies were slain, often including non-combatants. Occasionally, the tables were turned, and the Israelites were carried off captive here and there. The Bible in turn records this as being because they had done evil in the sight of the Lord. But what if it's just all a figure of speech? A lens through which the stuff that happened is viewed by the writer(s)? Cultures wax and wane, kings come and go. Nations led by kings who are focused leaders do well, nations led by kings primarily interested in eating, drinking, and whoring, tend to fall (and displease the Lord). I mean, would you seriously give credence to the idea that the late lamented British empire on whose coattails you and I are still riding, rose to greatness due to God's singular favour? (There are of course those who believe that very thing, which looks to me like a sort of communal prosperity-gospel doctrine - you can tell who God is pleased with, because they're doing very well for themselves, thanks).

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The history of humanity give one little hope that strength left to its own devices won't be abused. Indeed, it gives one little ground to think that strength would continue to exist if it were not abused. -- Dafyd --

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Golden Key
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Re Rahab:

Weren't her (Jewish?) people captives there in Jericho? So her tipping off Joshua et al. (IIRC, red cord out a window?) would've been to save herself and her people from their captors/ enslavers/ oppressors.

FWIW.

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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

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anoesis
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quote:
Originally posted by Golden Key:
Re Rahab:

Weren't her (Jewish?) people captives there in Jericho? So her tipping off Joshua et al. (IIRC, red cord out a window?) would've been to save herself and her people from their captors/ enslavers/ oppressors.

FWIW.

What makes you think Rahab and her family were Israelites?

Anyway, I went back and looked at the first few chapters of Joshua. It doesn't read as though the people of Jericho were under siege to me. Of course, if you want to take it literally, it's all the same one way or another, and the Israelites had no need of Rahab, because the walls fell down when they all shouted at Joshua's command. One does wonder what happened to Rahab's house (which was in the wall) on such an occasion. Any way you look at it, she was a turncoat. But it's like the old saying, one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter, isn't it?

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The history of humanity give one little hope that strength left to its own devices won't be abused. Indeed, it gives one little ground to think that strength would continue to exist if it were not abused. -- Dafyd --

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Golden Key
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anoesis--

quote:
Originally posted by anoesis:
What makes you think Rahab and her family were Israelites?

A possibly faulty memory, which I indicated by the various question marks and parenthetical comments.

I've just poked around in Joshua 1 & 2. Looks like they weren't Israelites. Rahab did take the Israelite God seriously, on the basis of news about the Israelites. And she bargained with Joshua's people to save her entire extended family. She seemed to figure the Israelites were going to win, because God, and there wasn't anything she could do to stop it, So she wanted her family to live.

I'm possibly also vaguely influenced by a screen portrayal I saw, where R was supporting her elderly, disabled father; and IIRC they might have been captured from somewhere.

Anyway, you absolutely have the right to hate the story!

--------------------
Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")

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cliffdweller
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quote:
Originally posted by anoesis:
quote:
Originally posted by Golden Key:
Re Rahab:

Weren't her (Jewish?) people captives there in Jericho? So her tipping off Joshua et al. (IIRC, red cord out a window?) would've been to save herself and her people from their captors/ enslavers/ oppressors.

FWIW.

What makes you think Rahab and her family were Israelites?

Anyway, I went back and looked at the first few chapters of Joshua. It doesn't read as though the people of Jericho were under siege to me. Of course, if you want to take it literally, it's all the same one way or another, and the Israelites had no need of Rahab, because the walls fell down when they all shouted at Joshua's command. One does wonder what happened to Rahab's house (which was in the wall) on such an occasion. Any way you look at it, she was a turncoat. But it's like the old saying, one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter, isn't it?

The whole book of Joshua is problematic. It has some of the most beautiful promises is Scripture (1:9)-- if you rip them from the context of tribalism, imperialism, and genocide

And no, Rahab is not Jewish. The fact that a non-Jewish harlot becomes part of the lineage of Christ is one of the few redeeming qualities of the book

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"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner

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mark_in_manchester

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quote:
The Bible records in a variety of places that God helped the Children of Israel to great victories in which a vast number of of their enemies were slain, often including non-combatants. Occasionally, the tables were turned, and the Israelites were carried off captive here and there. The Bible in turn records this as being because they had done evil in the sight of the Lord. But what if it's just all a figure of speech? A lens through which the stuff that happened is viewed by the writer(s)?
I think I agree. Since she's in my mind, I'll give you Robinson's take; things went well, things went bad, and in their public history, their most sacred memoirs, the Jews let it all hang out and *publically* questioned how was it, that the promises they thought they could rely on turned again and again to dust? In public, in the official history / public records office of the time - were we really committed to the God of truth and love, or were we just f*cking about and pleasing ourselves?

This sort of public introspection made them pretty exceptional in the annals of the times. The call of the prophets, back to faithfulness, the whole thing.

If there's no God, then the record is like a humungous stereotypical Jewish-neurotic wearing of the heart upon the sleeve, for no purpose. I can imagine it as a Woody Allen sketch. If there is - then this is the record of people trying to find Him, and getting it wrong when they win, and wrong when they lose.

G*d, I'm slow on the uptake. There's nothing striking in that at all, is there.

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Martin60
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m_i_m

There is God, because there's stuff (50:50, Pascal's toss of the coin and all that), but He can only do stuff that looks like He otherwise doesn't, that He isn't.

What tilts the balance from heads or tails, for me, is Jesus, the most complex entity we have encountered and the question arises as to what God did, if anything, to establish a milieu for Incarnation.

Could Judaism have evolved all by itself? If so, it also couldn't. What cradle for the babe would have done?

--------------------
Love wins

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Curiosity killed ...

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# 11770

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@anoesis, I struggle with those Bright and Light parties too. I've been involved in the local one and wondered what the point was when half the children who attended went to the church party then out trick and treating. A party that runs from 5:30pm to 6:15pm just sets them up for the night.

I led the Toddler Church here for three years, it's often called a Pram Service - sort of toddler meeting and coffee chitchat for the parents with a bit of a service and activities based on a religious theme. After three years of trying to find stories I was willing to tell toddlers I agree with mr cheesy.

  • Genesis chapter 1, pretty story of creation and all, but it's actually out of order from what we know scientifically - I did tell that one as a story of how the world started, but I really wasn't happy with Adam and Eve and the serpent with the repercussions.
  • Jacob and Esau - let's trick the old man and win out, plus all the other stories about Jacob?
  • Noah's Ark, lovely children's story with the animals going two by two, but what about all the world that wasn't saved? We had an illustrated children's Bible which had a picture of drowning people around the Ark, shudder.
  • Joseph and his coat of many colours - it's fine try to kill your brother, or trick your brothers to prove their good faith? And how do you explain Potiphar's wife?
  • Moses - basket in the bulrush, those plagues being delivered to Egypt, wandering in the wilderness, crossing the Red Sea (killing all the soldiers), we conveniently forget that Moses killed someone early on.
  • Joshua and the walls of Jericho, followed by genocide
  • David and Goliath, followed by genocide

It got harder as I continued leading the group - initially I went in all innocent and worked through the standard children's tales. The next year when I had to think of something different I started reading things properly and being a lot more cautious. We had parents from a range of Christian backgrounds, so I didn't want to interpret too much - which I was being urged to do. I ended up following a pattern that sort of followed:
  • carefully selected OT stories in the autumn term,
  • Nativity through Advent, building a crib week by week: an angel first, Mary & Joseph and a donkey, shepherds and sheep, a stable, crib and baby, finishing with three kings and camels for Epiphany.
  • life of Jesus sort of following the lectionary until Easter - usually finishing with Palm Sunday around the holidays and Holy Week services, referring them to the Hot Cross Bun service on Good Friday, that told the story of the crucifixion and Easter,
  • the post resurrection stories until Ascension;
  • bits of Acts and something about Paul - that he sent letters and travelled (walnut shell boat in a tray with a map underneath)


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Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged
LutheranChik
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# 9826

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I don't have children. But I do have grandchildren whose reading material is heavily censored by their parents, and I'm not sure this is doing them any favors in the long run.

On the other hand, context is everything in Bible stories, and little kids don't have much context other than the knowledge that the Bible is an important book about God that everyone wants them to read.

Peter Enns, a non- conservative Evangelical scholar, wrote a series of books about the Bible for kids, and I think it's instructive that he front- loads the Gospels. He points out, like Luther did, that Christians understand the whole of Scripture through a Christocentric lens.. so why don't we teach kids about Jesus first. And that still provides plenty of opportunity to discuss issues of good and evil without launching headlong into stories about seemingly God- sanctioned genocide and the like.

I like that approach -- save the " texts of terror" for kids who already have a strong grasp on the Jesus story.

And -- I'm not an inerrantist, so if I were teaching the Bible to young kids, I'd avoid "Word of God" language. I would describe Bible stories as being written by people who really wanted to love and understand God, and who used both storytelling and their knowledge of their people's history to say something about God and about how they saw God interacting with human beings. That would leave room for discussing violence and genocide in the OT without making assumptions that they were God's idea.

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Simul iustus et peccator
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Posts: 6462 | From: rural Michigan, USA | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged
Lamb Chopped
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# 5528

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My kid IS a question box about Scripture, and fairly often he gets "I don't know" as a response. That's okay. It's usually followed with "What do you think?" and I get to find out what's going on in his head. He might as well start wrestling with Scripture now, as he'll be doing it lifelong with the rest of us.

I do find that a close reading of Scripture avoids an awful lot of headaches. Plenty (not all) of the horrific bits get defused when one realizes that they are in the text because they happened, not because God is endorsing them. It's also useful to remember that we are NOT Israel and cannot draw precedents from a lot of what they did. (I think it's helpful to my son to see America in a distinctly non-central role.)

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Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!

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Karl: Liberal Backslider
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# 76

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Perhaps I'm too literal, but my problem with those bits is that so often it explicitly says Gos not just endorsed but mandated them. Joshua genocide, the bloodthirsty Mosaic Law...

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jengie jon

Semper Reformanda
# 273

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Yeah and how often since have people believed God mandated them to do something crazy.

I do not know whether God did or God didn't. I do know that any book that did not include it does not really understand the human part of the relationships.

Jengie

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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge

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Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Martin60
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# 368

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You're only being too literal if you think it's literal Karl. That it's gospel.

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Love wins

Posts: 17586 | From: Never Dobunni after all. Corieltauvi after all. Just moved to the capital. | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
ThunderBunk

Stone cold idiot
# 15579

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What a load of utter, destructive bullshit.

This is doing no service to anyone. Many children are remarkably emotionally sophisticated - every single contact I have had has taught me this - and the most likely conclusion to be drawn from this activity is that church is stupid. This is how the people grouped together as the "dechurched" get the experience that de-churches them - a thought for those who would laud this ridiculous activity to ponder in great detail.

If the leader really believes this, they need a Christianity transplant as soon as possible. The idea that beings made in the image of God need this kind of evisceration and assimilation into some kind of Borg-like entity is so far beyond chilling and infinitely beyond anything Christian it belongs in some kind of psychological pathology lab, in the relevant equivalent of a specimen jar full of alcohol.

Seriously, this is infinitely worse than doing nothing: it is doing damage on several layers which may never be undone.

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Currently mostly furious, and occasionally foolish. Normal service may resume eventually. Or it may not. And remember children, "feiern ist wichtig".

Foolish, potentially deranged witterings

Posts: 2208 | From: Norwich | Registered: Apr 2010  |  IP: Logged
Martin60
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# 368

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All textists, bibliolaters believe this. I did.

[ 02. November 2017, 20:10: Message edited by: Martin60 ]

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Love wins

Posts: 17586 | From: Never Dobunni after all. Corieltauvi after all. Just moved to the capital. | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Huia
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# 3473

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Anoesis, I'm very much with you on Halloween in New Zealand.

I had hoped that pumpkin story was made up by a particularly inept youth worker, but as Cliffdweller (?) recognised it this is obviously not so.

Huia

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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.

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