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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Dealing with Chronic Anxiety
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
I'll add my welcome, Fredegund - any questions you have should be covered in the FAQ and 10 Commandments links at the top of the page, and each individual board has guidelines of what to expect. Also you might want to say hello on the Welcome Aboard thread pinned at the top of the All Saints board page.
Happy sailing!
Piglet, AS host
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Starbug
Shipmate
# 15917
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Posted
I've had a problem with anxiety for many years, dating back to my teens, when my mother started suffering with paranoid schizophrenia. Among other things, she used to come into my room at night and shout at me for having the bedclothes over my head (I was scared of the dark). She also used to phone the TV companies at night after my dad had gone to work, accusing them of broadcasting messages about her. As a result, I often have trouble sleeping and I have to wear earplugs, as any noises keep me awake.
Sometimes, when I remember, I try to pray about the things that are troubling me, but this doesn't always help me to calm down. I listen to mindfulness meditations - the body scan is especially helpful.
Mr Bug got me some Sleephones as a Christmas present and they are amazing - it's a soft headband with flat headphones sewn into it and a long audio cable that I plug into my iPod. Much better than trying wear regular earphones.
I've just started working through Paul McKenna's book, Freedon From Emotional Eating. I listen to the hypnosis CD at bedtime, then use a mindfulness recording if I wake during the night. The book also uses a technique called Havening to deal with uncomfortable feelings, which is making a real difference. It's a bit like EFT, but not such a long sequence - it takes about three minutes to run through the routine, so I use it at work when I get stressed. You have to be somewhere private, though, as it involves counting out loud! I use the disabled loo, as I have IBS symptoms during times of stress.
I've found praying through the Prayers of the Faithful thread and asking for prayer very helpful. It's great to be part of such a supportive community.
[ 21. January 2014, 19:01: Message edited by: Starbug ]
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“Oh the pointing again. They're screwdrivers! What are you going to do? Assemble a cabinet at them?” ― The Day of the Doctor
Posts: 1189 | From: West of the New Forest | Registered: Sep 2010
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I tell you what, in terms of this discussion, boy do I miss having a pet.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Squirrel
Shipmate
# 3040
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Posted
Starbug, thanks for mentioning the sleep phones. They sound like a great idea, and I'm going to look into them. Kelly, I agree that having a pet is great for people who have anxiety. We have 3 cats, and just having them around is soothing.
Has anyone here had any experience with the drug Buspar?
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"The moral is to the physical as three is to one."
- Napoleon
"Five to one."
- George S. Patton
Posts: 1014 | From: Gotham City - Brain of the Great Satan | Registered: Jul 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
The sleephones sound amazing, and Mr. Bug sounds like an absolute prince.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Squirrel
Shipmate
# 3040
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Posted
Just ordered a pair of the headphones. They're not expensive.
Another great "treatment" for anxiety I have found particularly effective is to play music. In my case I'm a bassist in both a blues band and a fairly loud rock group. Although it sounds counterintuitive to say that playing loud hard rock eases anxiety, I find that it has a certain cathartic effect. And the concentration that playing with others requires keeps me from obsessing over stuff.
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"The moral is to the physical as three is to one."
- Napoleon
"Five to one."
- George S. Patton
Posts: 1014 | From: Gotham City - Brain of the Great Satan | Registered: Jul 2002
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The Intrepid Mrs S
Shipmate
# 17002
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Squirrel:
Although it sounds counterintuitive to say that playing loud hard rock eases anxiety, I find that it has a certain cathartic effect. And the concentration that playing with others requires keeps me from obsessing over stuff.
I certainly prefer loud music to ease anxiety - I go along with one band 'I'm gonna turn up the volume till I can't even think!'
and tai chi is helpful, because you need to concentrate so hard on what you're doing so you don't fall over (which would rather spoil the effect).
Mrs. S, coveting those sleepphones ...
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Don't get your knickers in a twist over your advancing age. It achieves nothing and makes you walk funny.
Prayer should be our first recourse, not our last resort
'Lord, please give us patience. NOW!'
Posts: 1464 | From: Neither here nor there | Registered: Mar 2012
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Heavenly Anarchist
Shipmate
# 13313
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Posted
I've had anxiety for several years, as part of my bipolar disorder. I used to avoid opening emails or answering the phone, find conflict stressful, have terrible insomnia and get palpitations. It has been much better in recent years and I think what has helped is having a firmer routine. My bipolar is managed by pre-planning routines and being in control of social interaction and this has had a knock on effect with my anxiety. I can now check my email several times a day and I even answer the phone occasionally. I still don't like unexpected visitors but I am managing this better (decluttering the house has also helped this, clutter adds to my anxiety, I need order to manage my mental confusion). I am getting very good at letting things go, I tell myself not to pursue thoughts. On the rare occasions I have insomnia now I get up and have a cup of tea and read. I do a long class of yoga once a week and I find this extremely useful too.
Reading through this, I realise just how far I have come in the last few years and a lot of this has been a matter of mentally managing my thought processes and social interactions. I still have constant stream of thought as part of my bipolar disorder but have learnt to accept that dialogue and not let it confuse me. It helps that my job allows me much freedom in planning my time and I usually work from home with little pressure.
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'I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.' Douglas Adams
Dog Activity Monitor
My shop
Posts: 2831 | From: Trumpington | Registered: Jan 2008
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Ian Climacus
Liturgical Slattern
# 944
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Heavenly Anarchist:
...
My bipolar is managed by pre-planning routines and being in control of social interaction and this has had a knock on effect with my anxiety
....
If I may, could I ask more about this? I have recently been diagnosed with bi-polar [low level though], and I swing from "Yes, let's go out now!" to hiding under the covers and not answering SMSs. How does one go about being in control of social interaction? I feel the anxiety is more at play here and getting a sense of control would be rather nice.
Thanks for sharing and well-done!
I also find it hard as while I am blessed to have good friends, several extended mental health unit hospital stays seem to have them on hyper-alert for any change in my mood [or I perceive it that way]. I tend to give no information or everything, neither of which is good. Has anyone dealt with the communication issue successfully when anxiety hits and you cannot face social events?
[ 22. January 2014, 09:01: Message edited by: Ian Climacus ]
Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001
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Heavenly Anarchist
Shipmate
# 13313
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Posted
I have mild bipolar. When I was diagnosed over 15 years ago I was spiralling between hypomania and depression, I was getting confused, turning up at my bible study leaders' house when I should be at work, getting on the wrong buses, had huge credit card debts from impulse buying and my social life was hectic. I was on a multitude of rosters at church and had a dynamic success career - I was the youngest H grade nurse in the country according to my boss.
With the support of friends I developed a plan on cutting down my commitments - I learnt to say no. It was very rules driven. I didn't want to lose all my commitments so I was allowed to keep one voluntary post. I was only allowed one dinner party/social occasion a week unless in exceptional cases. My credit cards were cut up and repayment regimes set out. I planned out my week ahead so I would know what to expect, the autonomous role I had at work helped here. I now deliberately pause and consider my thoughts before acting (I try to do this before speaking but am less successful, my husband nudges me to remind me to step back if I start getting hypomanic in social situations). This all helped but probably the most useful thing I did was to leave London for somewhere quieter and with less social pressure (I got married about 2 years after my diagnosis). Over the years I have managed to alter my behaviour by developing good habits and coping mechanisms. I haven't been on lithium for years but wouldn't hesitate to take it if I was out of control again though.
I am blatantly honest about my mental health to people, I think being a nurse helps, I used to have to explain to patients that they were going blind and am very familiar with the challenges of diagnosis and identity. I find this openness helps but understand that it isn't for everyone and that circumstances differ.
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'I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.' Douglas Adams
Dog Activity Monitor
My shop
Posts: 2831 | From: Trumpington | Registered: Jan 2008
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Ian Climacus
Liturgical Slattern
# 944
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Posted
Thank you Heavenly Anarchist...I can identify with much there, and thank you for sharing on what helped you to get where you are now.
And a big ![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif) to nurses like yourself; you all do a great job and I have had great ones looking after me in times of need.
Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Intrepid Mrs S:
and tai chi is helpful, because you need to concentrate so hard on what you're doing so you don't fall over (which would rather spoil the effect).
I think this is a key to a lot of anxiety reducing practices-- something that forced you to be present, takes you out of yourself.
When I work camera (or technical director) at my volunteer job, I notice I am always in good spirits and have just enough tension to keep alert for the job. I think it is because I can't let my mind wander for a second. My mind wandering is exactly the problem, so anything that prevents that happening is helpful.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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infinite_monkey
Shipmate
# 11333
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Posted
I have an extremely challenging job, where it's necessary for me to be ON pretty much all the time. Ironically, my anxiety is highest, not at work, but during periods of prolonged holiday. I think there's a lot to what you've observed, Kelly--when you have something in front of you that takes you out of your own ruminations and puts you as much as possible in the present moment, anxiety doesn't have as much bare skin to sink its teeth into.
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His light was lifted just above the Law,
And now we have to live with what we did with what we saw.
--Dar Williams, And a God Descended
Obligatory Blog Flog: www.otherteacher.wordpress.com
Posts: 1423 | From: left coast united states | Registered: Apr 2006
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Motivational posters, especially humourous ones, are a good antidote. This one, for example, although there are plenty of others out there. Perhaps keeping a stock of them available at a quick click of the mouse, to whoosh away some of the worry and tension?
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Squirrel
Shipmate
# 3040
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Posted
My doctor suggested yoga. So I took my 56 year old frame to a "gentle yoga" class. The act of bending and twisting myself into all different shapes made me MORE anxious. Ooooooooooommmmmmm
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"The moral is to the physical as three is to one."
- Napoleon
"Five to one."
- George S. Patton
Posts: 1014 | From: Gotham City - Brain of the Great Satan | Registered: Jul 2002
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The Intrepid Mrs S
Shipmate
# 17002
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Squirrel:
My doctor suggested yoga. So I took my 56 year old frame to a "gentle yoga" class. The act of bending and twisting myself into all different shapes made me MORE anxious. Ooooooooooommmmmmm
Try t'ai chi, Squirrel, if you can find a class - much less strain on aging joints, but great for improving your balance, proprioception etc.
A propos of the Heaven thread 'I find that strange' you aren't permitted to do t'ai chi barefoot as the Chinese consider it harmful. Socks and/or shoes must be worn.
I do Pilates as well, but t'ai chi is gentler all round!
Mrs. S, following in Lou Reed's footsteps, and I never thought I'd say that! ![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
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Don't get your knickers in a twist over your advancing age. It achieves nothing and makes you walk funny.
Prayer should be our first recourse, not our last resort
'Lord, please give us patience. NOW!'
Posts: 1464 | From: Neither here nor there | Registered: Mar 2012
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Taliesin
Shipmate
# 14017
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Posted
Hi, people. I'm just going to mix things up with the hell thread on lunatic relatives...
Yesterday was hell..ish. two sets of parents coming to kids' gig, one kid not entirely well. Being sick. Bug or anxiety? Parents actually behaved ok. But is that only because I put serious emotional energy into balancing them??
I was horribly ill all last term with anxiety that my doc tried to treat as depressive illness, but it's really not.
My 14 year old son displays significant symptoms of anxiety yet his life really isn't that horrible.... this has to be genetic. I've always felt most of my mother's bad/unreasonable/inappropriate behaviour was caused at root by anxiety (so she acts out self comforting strategies with people she feels in authority over - children) but interestingly, just as we got into the concert venue my dad hobbled back out into the night because he felt he might have left the car unlocked. Mum said 'he's always doing that' and I thought a) you kept that quiet for 40 years and b) great,I got a double whammy.
Posts: 2138 | From: South, UK | Registered: Aug 2008
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Starbug
Shipmate
# 15917
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
Motivational posters, especially humourous ones, are a good antidote. This one, for example, although there are plenty of others out there. Perhaps keeping a stock of them available at a quick click of the mouse, to whoosh away some of the worry and tension?
Thanks for that one, Chorister. I get very stressed about work and I'm convinced that a big part of it is due to the reason mentioned on that poster!
[ 26. January 2014, 17:37: Message edited by: Starbug ]
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“Oh the pointing again. They're screwdrivers! What are you going to do? Assemble a cabinet at them?” ― The Day of the Doctor
Posts: 1189 | From: West of the New Forest | Registered: Sep 2010
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Squirrel
Shipmate
# 3040
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Posted
To those who endorsed Sleep Phones, thank you! Got mine in the mail. They're fantastic.
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"The moral is to the physical as three is to one."
- Napoleon
"Five to one."
- George S. Patton
Posts: 1014 | From: Gotham City - Brain of the Great Satan | Registered: Jul 2002
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
Damnably freaked out right now by sudden firing and lack of any direction on what to do next. I may need to retrain for a different field. Money was tight already-- how do i stop freaking out?
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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chive
Ship's nude
# 208
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Posted
A lot of people here have suggested meditation or mindfulness of some type or another. My problem is that they tend to make me much, much more anxious. In fact everything that supposedly improves anxiety along that line makes me worse. Concentrating on my breathing makes me hyperventilate. Trying to empty my mind lets the 'what ifs' take over etc. I have tried many times over the years and it doesn't work for me.
I have found pregabilin the drug fantastic, I went from being unable to leave the house to being back at work in three weeks but when I'm extremely anxious it doesn't work.
Part of my symptoms of severe anxiety are visual and auditory hallucinations which I find very difficult to cope with. I keep telling myself that they're just anxiety but when you can actually hear people threatening you it is quite terrifying.
And I hate these people who equate anxiety with being a wee bit nervous. The difference between a paper cut and an amputation.
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'Edward was the kind of man who thought there was no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who hadn't done one-to-one Bible study with him.' Catherine Fox, Love to the Lost
Posts: 3542 | From: the cupboard under the stairs | Registered: May 2001
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Damnably freaked out right now by sudden firing and lack of any direction on what to do next. I may need to retrain for a different field. Money was tight already-- how do i stop freaking out?
Bummer. Also, I imagine, major overload - so many things to worry about at once.
Since my own reactions to that sort of situation are pretty maladaptive, I'm hardly one to advise. Speaking for myself, I'd watch out for any obsessional fixing on one concern - understandable, since it's easier to worry about a specific, than everything. Another thing didn't work was casting any one person as THE support and comfort: that amount of projection usually crashed the relationship.
I think the opposite of that would be to anchor in here and now, and everything that in this moment is OK. Alive and breathing? Check. Family ditto? Check. Coffee available? Check. Once you've established that you have a viable situation for continued existence, move on to Things that can be done. Arrange in a practical and facilitative order eg get dressed before going outside. Work on possible or optional things to do - break those down into implementable tasks.
The idea being, of course, to withdraw from the great screaming void of uncertainties and unknowables and formless terrors into the realm of achievable actions, with the accompanying feelings of control.
[ 05. February 2014, 07:12: Message edited by: Firenze ]
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Taliesin
Shipmate
# 14017
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Posted
Brilliant post.
Getting grounded and only looking one step ahead at a time. So hard to remember to do when you're in it, though. Best of luck.
Posts: 2138 | From: South, UK | Registered: Aug 2008
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Macrina
Shipmate
# 8807
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Posted
I am not sure I qualify, but then over the last few years I have observed some responses in myself that I know really aren't typical. I am an introvert and I find pressured and unpredictable social situations very difficult to deal with. That's okay though and I am a bit of a flag waver for introverts being people too.
So day to day I seem to function quite well but I do have fairly regular occasions when I am having to deal with a tough situation interpersonally where I go into what I describe as a 'cognitive loop' it's like my brain is trying to find a way to address a difficult interaction with someone and can't find a way out. I just freeze, physically, emotionally and psychologically. And then usually just have to go away until I unfreeze and can process it and decide what to do.
I would rather stick pins in myself than have to explain to someone that they've upset me. I also have a stupidly hard time realising that people have forgiven me and managing to stop apologising. Both of these things I think stem from over anxious/distant parenting styles that I experienced where I've often felt dismissed or blamed for any negative emotions that I've felt or there has never been an attempt to 'talk through' a reconciliation.
So I find any conflict outside of my professional life extremely hard to deal with. I find new situations where I might not know how to behave extremely hard to deal with. This doesn't stop me doing them but boy is it hard.
As an adult, particularly now I work in Mental Health I can identify a lot with the mindfulness techniques people have talked about here. I will write out a situation a lot of the time to try and understand my responses, assess them and try to handle them better next time. So far this is generally successful. I often wish I could go through life constantly one drink over sober though, I think life would be easier then.
Posts: 535 | From: Christchurch, New Zealand | Registered: Nov 2004
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Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
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Posted
Mindfulness is a relatively new concept to me but lately I've been thinking about how some of the questions asked by God and Jesus in the Bible could be seen as a call to mindfulness, making us look at the reality of things as they actually are. What have you done? What are you doing here? What's that in your hand? Why are you crying? It's not as though the divine doesn't know the answers to the questions, is it? And sometimes we do too, or we think we do, until we look again at things.
Nen - feeling thoughtful.
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They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
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Ian Climacus
Liturgical Slattern
# 944
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Posted
How did people survive Easter?
I still have not returned to my parish, but I managed to attend a Greek Orthodox Lamentations service -- complete with marching down the main road with candle following Christ's bier with police escort! -- and an Easter Vigil Service with the Anglicans...I cannot face a large and loud Easter Sunday service; even on Friday I walked the streets at time to escape the crowds in the church.
I feel a bit odd as I feel more comfortable wih Great Lent, Holy Week and Holy Friday/Saturday than I do with Easter Sunday. Quiet and small contemplative services do not raise the anxiety levels the more 'joyful' and louder, and well-attended, services do.
Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001
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EloiseA
Shipmate
# 18029
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Posted
At Easter I try to go to less populous Masses, Ian, and sit at the back or near a window.
Just generally: because anxiety at its worst feels so overwhelming and paralyses my ability to reason or act, I try to hold something, a rosary if possible or even a crumpled tissue or the edge of a desk or table. I also put both my feet down on the floor as firmly as possibly because that helps to ground me. I don’t take deep breaths in case the increase of oxygen makes me dizzy but I slow my breathing a little. If I’m in a public place I find somewhere to sit down, a loo cubicle or quiet corner of a library or restaurant. I turn off the cell phone if I remember because sudden noises are too difficult when I’m in that state.
When I’m saying the rosary (aloud if I’m alone) and moving the beads through my fingers, I imagine that I am being held by Our Lady, as a mother would cradle a child. I stay with the rosary for 15 decades or repeat very simple prayers for at least 40 minutes to an hour if possible. As I calm down, I breathe more deeply and pay attention to the breathing as it goes in and out.
Often I’m still dizzy or spaced out by the anxiety attack (prone to dissociative symptoms), but as soon as I can manage, I have some mouthfuls of cold water and try to exchange a few words with someone nearby, a waitperson or library assistant. Then there’s just the hell of getting home or boarding a flight.
Do others find themselves mumbling aloud after a bad attack of anxiety? Friends tell me they know when I'm anxious because they can see my lips moving and hear this disconnected low rumbling sound.
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“You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you odd.” Flannery O'Connnor
Posts: 55 | Registered: Mar 2014
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Charlie-in-the-box
Shipmate
# 17954
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Squirrel:
I'd like to hear from other Shipmates who are or have been dealing with long-term anxiety issues.
In my case I get spells of it that often last for months. I've gotten chest pains, stomach aches and plenty of the good ol' Heebie-Jeebies. My doctor has prescribed drugs, which help, but I'd like to be able to rely upon these as little as possible.
What has helped you deal with your anxiety? Please post, or reply via PM. Thanks.
I suffer with horrible anxiety. I take as little medication as possible due to the risk of addiction, which means I feel like I'm freaking out most of the time. It has made it almost impossible for me to stay in church--I usually end up having to leave.
What has helped is meditation. I can actually be anxiety free. You tube even has some meditations that are free. I hope you find something that helps you too. ![[Help]](graemlins/help.gif)
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Charlie-in-the-box
http://rosarygirl1962.blogspot.com/
Posts: 55 | From: Island of Misfit Heretics | Registered: Jan 2014
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chive
Ship's nude
# 208
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Posted
I avoided mass at Easter (somewhat helped by having to work) but now I'm overcome with paralysing guilt and fear that because I didn't attend the Triduum I'm heading straight to hell, no questions asked.
I'm trying to rationalise my way out of this but it is a struggle. I'm telling myself that I couldn't attend the Easter vigil and go to work at 5.30am the next day and that to tie myself in knots about it isn't helpful but all I know is that at the moment I'm so anxious and wibbly that I can't stop shaking and I'm very close to hyperventilation and this is not an option if I'm to be at work in a couple of hours.
I hate anxiety. I hate the randomness of it and I hate the fact that although I can see I'm being irrational and idiotic, I can't stop myself being irrational and idiotic. It frustrates me so much.
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'Edward was the kind of man who thought there was no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who hadn't done one-to-one Bible study with him.' Catherine Fox, Love to the Lost
Posts: 3542 | From: the cupboard under the stairs | Registered: May 2001
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Ian Climacus
Liturgical Slattern
# 944
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by chive:
I hate anxiety. I hate the randomness of it and I hate the fact that although I can see I'm being irrational and idiotic, I can't stop myself being irrational and idiotic. It frustrates me so much.
This. 1,000 times this. It is so paralysing...and so frustrating.
![[Votive]](graemlins/votive.gif) for your feelings of guilt chive; I can but pray you know a sense of peace and know you did what you could and what you had to.
Eloise, I can identify with the escaping to the loo...or a bench outside our church in the garden -- just to get out. Thankfully people tend to wander in and out of churches in Orthodoxy so when I do go to my church I'm not that noticeable ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif) -- even if I think all are staring at me disaprovingly. And I self-talk / mumble after anxiety.
Charlie: good news you've found meditation helps. If only I could sit still long enough!
Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001
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Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
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Posted
Chive
Can you go to confession? I think a good talk with a father confessor is probably the most therapeutic thing you can do at present.
Jengie
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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Take heart, Chive - I can't imagine that a loving, omniscient God is going to condemn you for not attending church if it's going to make you ill.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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