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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: 12 Days of Zilchmas
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Ancient Mariner
Sip the ship
# 4
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Posted
Yes, you read it right.
This year we're turning the tables and doing a 12-day special on all those atheistic novelties out there.
Time to dig out those lamentable but highly entertaining gifts for the Godless.
We've only just thought of this angle so we're putting it all together at breakneck speed. Your offerings, please as soon as possible. A namecheck guaranteed for those that make the list.
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
[ 13. December 2013, 13:50: Message edited by: Ancient Mariner ]
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Ship of Fools' first novel, Rattles & Rosettes, is the tale of two football (soccer) fans: 16-year-old Tom in 1914 and Dan in 2010. More at www.rattlesandrosettes.com
Posts: 2582 | From: St Helens (near Liverpool) UK | Registered: May 2001
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passer
Indigo
# 13329
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Posted
Well, in the spirit of Chris... I mean kicking it off, try this.
Posts: 1289 | From: Sheffield | Registered: Jan 2008
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Do they have to be explicitly aimed at atheists? (Buy your Dawkins Dongle here!)
Or do they just not have to mention God - in which case the Innovations catalogue lies before you?
Or do they have to be such a waste of molecules that they lead inevitably to the conclusion that 'design' and 'intelligent' are meaningless along with the rest of the universe?
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Tubbs
Miss Congeniality
# 440
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Posted
I've flagged this up in Heaven as well in the hope of widening the suggestion pool.
Tubbs
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"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am
Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001
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Ancient Mariner
Sip the ship
# 4
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Posted
Thanks Tubbs.
Firenze, throw anything in that even touches on the atheistic thing. Of course, the more bizarre, the better.
We are thinking, for example, of one item being the empty chair which Dawkins didn't sit on when invited to a debate in Oxford last year. He refused to attend. The chair is destined to become a relic, surely.
Think through any angles for the description as well.
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Ship of Fools' first novel, Rattles & Rosettes, is the tale of two football (soccer) fans: 16-year-old Tom in 1914 and Dan in 2010. More at www.rattlesandrosettes.com
Posts: 2582 | From: St Helens (near Liverpool) UK | Registered: May 2001
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
I knew I could depend on Cafe Press: a fun seasonal tee-shirt.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Zazzle is pretty good, too.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
How about a handsome bench?
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Ancient Mariner
Sip the ship
# 4
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Posted
Some great ones! Keep 'em coming. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Ship of Fools' first novel, Rattles & Rosettes, is the tale of two football (soccer) fans: 16-year-old Tom in 1914 and Dan in 2010. More at www.rattlesandrosettes.com
Posts: 2582 | From: St Helens (near Liverpool) UK | Registered: May 2001
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Stocking stuffer.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
Stocking stuffer.
...and the stocking.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Atheistmas tree ornaments. The perfect gift for the man who has nothing that's not part of the spacetime continuum.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Melisande
Shipmate
# 4177
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Posted
Nom.
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The door itself makes no promises.
It is only a door.
-- Adrienne Rich
Posts: 302 | From: The western Main Line | Registered: Feb 2003
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
Tired of playing God? Try playing with gods instead! And when you're done and wish to express your will to power by bringing about the twilight of the idols, you can do it in style.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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ecumaniac
Ship's whipping girl
# 376
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Posted
Christmas cards from the British Humanist Association.
If I actually sent cards, I'd send these. The calligraphic Christmas/Saturnalia one is great!!
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it's a secret club for people with a knitting addiction, hiding under the cloak of BDSM - Catrine
Posts: 2901 | From: Cambridge | Registered: Jun 2001
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
You should definitely have this.
Maybe
this .
And of course, a car sticker.
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
Some more xmas cards , I particularly like - axial tilt is the reason for the season.
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Read my footprints.
Can you point us to the page with the sales pitch, Firenze?
[ 15. December 2013, 11:07: Message edited by: Ancient Mariner ]
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Ancient Mariner
Sip the ship
# 4
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Posted
Knew you wouldn't let us down. Some great finds. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
We're putting the final list together tomorrow (Monday) so fire your last offerings here ASAP.
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Ship of Fools' first novel, Rattles & Rosettes, is the tale of two football (soccer) fans: 16-year-old Tom in 1914 and Dan in 2010. More at www.rattlesandrosettes.com
Posts: 2582 | From: St Helens (near Liverpool) UK | Registered: May 2001
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
Wrapping paper, specifically the "Have a satisfactory non-denominational capitalist wintertime gift giving season" wrapping paper.
[Eta, mustn't forget the Festivus pole .]
[ 15. December 2013, 19:30: Message edited by: Doublethink ]
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Ann
Curious
# 94
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Posted
Actually, there's nothing Christmassy about this - reminiscent of this.
(As I was driving to see my daughter, there was a Lapland UK between Bracknell and Ascot - fortunately, my children are too old to find out if this is any better.)
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Ann
Posts: 3271 | From: IO 91 PI | Registered: May 2001
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
Okay, slipping these in under the wire:
Because, in the end, we all just want to be loved.
If you want to celebrate the birth of your favorite concussed calculus-developing Arian, here's your shirt
And, for those who like their religions disguised as jokes (or jokes disguised as religions), we have appropriately inappropriate Discordian bumper stickers, membership in the Church of the SubGenius, or the ever-elegant Invisible Pink Unicorn Car Plaque, offering of ham and pineapple pizza not included.
Of course, for the sartorially-minded unbeliever who still insists on wearing their Sunday best, you can wear your ever elegant IPU necklace with your lovely noodly appendage earrings. Whoever said the godless can't enjoy the finer things in "the only life you get?"
[ 16. December 2013, 05:54: Message edited by: Ariston ]
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Ancient Mariner
Sip the ship
# 4
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Posted
Thanks for recent contribs. Not too late but the 12 are being put together today.
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Ship of Fools' first novel, Rattles & Rosettes, is the tale of two football (soccer) fans: 16-year-old Tom in 1914 and Dan in 2010. More at www.rattlesandrosettes.com
Posts: 2582 | From: St Helens (near Liverpool) UK | Registered: May 2001
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
I'm probably past the deadline, but you might just enjoy this.
Want to compete with those garish yard displays in your neighborhood? In Chicago's Daley Plaza, where we have a traditional Nativity scene and a menorah, a group of atheists have erected a big red "A."
(Frankly, it's a little too Hester Prynne for my tastes.)
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ann:
It might not be Atheist per se, but you'd have a little difficulty marketing it as even vaguely Christian.
One of my all time favorites!
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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
Good to see you here, Campbellite!
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Ancient Mariner
Sip the ship
# 4
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Posted
We're live!
Thanks to all for contributions (espesh the redoutable Doublethink for no less than three offerings ![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif) )
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For immediate release
ANNOUNCING SHIP OF FOOLS' FIRST-EVER 12 DAYS OF ZILCHMAS
(LONDON -- 18.12.13) -- UNABLE to beat us, they've finally joined us - the godless are having themselves a kitschy little Christmas.
And the very best seasonal gifts with a decidedly secular focus, can be found at shipoffools.com's brand new 12 Days of Zilchmas.
'When it comes to tasteless Yuletide tat, the church has traditionally cornered the market,' said Simon Jenkins, editor of the iconoclastic Christian website. 'From Virgin Mary fridge magnets to musical weeping Santas, God botherers have blazed a tacky trail. This year, all that has changed. You won't need to ask "What Would Dawkins Buy?" after you've grabbed these goodies.'
Gifts include the Friedrich Nietzsche finger puppet, a Santa-denying ipad cover, a science-versus-religion mousemat, even shoes for the budding atheistic baby.
'For years we have run the 12 Days of Kitschmas, celebrating those surely-not religious gifts for the sanctified stocking,' said Steve Goddard, co-editor of shipoffools.com. 'This year the secularists have got in on the act - and, disturbingly, they're beginning to match us tat-for-tat.'
(ends)
[ 18. December 2013, 09:25: Message edited by: Ancient Mariner ]
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Ship of Fools' first novel, Rattles & Rosettes, is the tale of two football (soccer) fans: 16-year-old Tom in 1914 and Dan in 2010. More at www.rattlesandrosettes.com
Posts: 2582 | From: St Helens (near Liverpool) UK | Registered: May 2001
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ancient Mariner:
We're live!
The Festivus Pole image doesn't seem to be working for me. Is it a problem at my end, or yours?
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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Ancient Mariner
Sip the ship
# 4
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
quote:
Originally posted by Ancient Mariner:
We're live!
The Festivus Pole image doesn't seem to be working for me. Is it a problem at my end, or yours?
Working OK here. Anyone else have Marvin's problem?
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Ship of Fools' first novel, Rattles & Rosettes, is the tale of two football (soccer) fans: 16-year-old Tom in 1914 and Dan in 2010. More at www.rattlesandrosettes.com
Posts: 2582 | From: St Helens (near Liverpool) UK | Registered: May 2001
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lily pad
Shipmate
# 11456
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Posted
Working fine even with the big snowstorm in Canada.
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Sloppiness is not caring. Fussiness is caring about the wrong things. With thanks to Adeodatus!
Posts: 2468 | From: Truly Canadian | Registered: May 2006
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Alan Cresswell
Mad Scientist 先生
# 31
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Posted
I wasn't seeing the image at home this morning (noticing the front page before AM announced it being live here), and it's also not loading at work.
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Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.
Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
OK on iPad (in UK), both now and early this morning (c 7.30)
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
I hope it will get some media attention! (But shouldn't it be "the godless are having themselves a kitschy little Xmas"? ![[Biased]](wink.gif) )
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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Alan Cresswell
Mad Scientist 先生
# 31
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Posted
Now I see the pole. With the TV set borrowed from the local museum. I almost said "TV set that last saw service on the Ark", but it looks too real to be part of the furniture of a mythical boat. And, too antique to have been on any virtual reality vessel either.
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Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.
Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
Exudes a small cloud of xmas spiced smugness.
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Chesterbelloc
Tremendous trifler
# 3128
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by passer:
Well, in the spirit of Chris... I mean kicking it off, try this.
For illiterate athEIsts only, presumably. Not very good for the brand, I'd have thought...
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"[A] moral, intellectual, and social step below Mudfrog."
Posts: 4199 | From: Athens Borealis | Registered: Aug 2002
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balaam
Making an ass of myself
# 4543
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Posted
Too late for consideration, but there are some interesting t-shirts here,
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Last ever sig ...
blog
Posts: 9049 | From: Hen Ogledd | Registered: May 2003
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