|
Source: (consider it)
|
Thread: Hell: Bumper stickers they SHOULD display
|
Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2
|
Posted
The green Jetta in front of me this morning:
I brake for absolutely no fuckin' reason whatsoever.
[ 10. March 2003, 01:09: Message edited by: Erin ]
--------------------
Commandment number one: shut the hell up.
Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Boot
Shipmate
# 2611
|
Posted
How about:
I'm busy, you're ugly
Have a nice day
b
Posts: 116 | From: Essex, England | Registered: Apr 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
J Whitgift
Pro ecclesia dei!
# 1981
|
Posted
I like the ones on the back of Lorries in 15 Font, asking:
'How's my Driving, call --- --- ----'
Well, if you are driving close enough to read the sign, then the driving of the car must be bad.
On a lighter note, I saw one on the back of a motorcycle which read:
'Stuck in a Traffic Jam again?
Well, too bad
so sad
Bye Bye.'
and with that...
Bye Bye from Lux.
--------------------
On the issue of homosexuality the Liberals have spent their time thinking, considering and listening (in the spirit of the Windsor process), whereas Conservative Anglicans have used the time to further dig their feet in and become more intransigent.
Posts: 2838 | From: Gone shoreside | Registered: Dec 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
tomb
Shipmate
# 174
|
Posted
Living in a town with a college of mining engineering, two of my favorites, which make the Greens crazy, are:
Ban mining. Let the bastards freeze in the dark.
even better is:
EARTH FIRST! We'll mine other planets later.
Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
|
Posted
Kiss my redneck a**, I got a mullet and my rear is jacked-up for you to pucker
--------------------
♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
|
Posted
What's a mullet?
--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
|
Posted
www.ratemymullet.com/
This is just one page...hopefully not full of trashy smut like lots of them are....
If you go to google and type in the word "mullet" you will get a whole plethora of mullet loving pages
--------------------
♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Miss_Molly
Toujours gai
Beloved
# 2339
|
Posted
Seen on an automobile in Baile Atha Cliath (Dublin to those of you who may be planning to attend Cliona's projected meet):
Ritheann an car seo ar poitin!
(This car runs on moonshine!)
Na pog mo thoin!
(Don't kiss my ass!)
--------------------
"I come from a state that raises corn, and cockleburrs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me"
Congressman Willard Duncan Vandiver at a naval banquet in Philadelphia, 1899
Posts: 1242 | From: home | Registered: Feb 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
QLib
Bad Example
# 43
|
Posted
2 versions of 'Baby on Board':- F**kwit on Board
- Ben Elton's suggestion: My wife and I have not yet been blessed with offspring, but we'd still prefer not to die in a road traffic accident. Thank you so much.
Posts: 8913 | From: Page 28 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012
|
Posted
Actual bumper sticker, currently stuck to my car ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister.
Do I get bonus points for having parked outside:
a. The vicarage - Vicar + wife both laughed.
and
b. Church - before the main service, so everybody saw it.
Viki, who's considering taking it to HTB ![[Wink]](wink.gif) Well, it's for the alternative Alpha...
--------------------
“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”
Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
ej
Shipmate
# 2259
|
Posted
..a few my old youth group kids came up with to help advertise the church... can't claim copyright on all them though:
"Get saved now. Ask me how."
"Jesus loves me, but everybody else thinks I'm a wanker"
"Who's your Daddy?"
and this one hearkens from the Simpsons, but i still love it:
"He knows what you did last summer."
--------------------
For my next trick I shall turn this water into funk...
...a little breathing-space...
Posts: 426 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Jan 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
jlg
What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98
|
Posted
*A-hem* ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
Returning to the spirit of the Original Post, I dedicate this one to the yuppie lady who recently was tailgating me while talking on her cell phone and looking in the mirror while using her "free" hand to fuss with her hair:
LOOK MA! NO HANDS!
(Steering is for Wimps)
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ultraspike
Incensemeister
# 268
|
Posted
See in Texas (quelle surpris):
"Keep honking, I'm reloading."
--------------------
A cowgirl's work is never done.
Posts: 2732 | From: NYC | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
auntbeast
Shipmate
# 377
|
Posted
I was once driving along and just about crashed laughing at a simple question adorning the bumper of the car in front of me
"would you drive any better with your cell phone stuffed up your as*?"
I also get great reactions to my home made bumper decor... I have a Darwin fish and a Jesus fish nose to nose with a big silver heart painted over their noses. Gets me in hot water in almost any parking lot.
Anyway the original post was ones they SHOULD display and to get back on topic my suggestion would be:
"I picked all my Jesus stickers off because my shitty driving is a bad witness"
.. I makes me absolutely crazy when people with the cheesy Jesus stickers all over their car drive like idiots... I guess they figure if they can scare me bad enough I might have a conversion experience looking at their bumper.
All good things,
Auntbeast
--------------------
"My vices are the children of a forced solitude that I abhor; and my virtues will necessarily arise when I live in communion with an equal" - Mary Shelley (Frankenstein)
Posts: 820 | From: Vancouver, Canada | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
|
Posted
About 15 years ago, I knew a guy who used to create those cheesy Christian sticker.
He 'wrote' a series about what Christians do. He could not understand why hardly anyone anted to buy
"Christians do it on their knees".
When we explained to him how people would read that he looked aghast, and repremanded us for being so tained by the flesh.
bb
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Jonah the Whale
Ship's pet cetacean
# 1244
|
Posted
BB, does your friend still make those stickers? Can I order one? Maybe he's got a lot left in stock so I can get one half price.
Cuttle.
Posts: 2799 | From: Nether Regions | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Inanna
Ship's redhead
# 538
|
Posted
God loves me - but he's keeping the receipt just in case...
--------------------
All shall be well
And all shall be well
And all manner of things shall be well.
Posts: 1495 | From: Royal Oak, MI | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
7 pillars (of wisdom) please
Shipmate
# 2629
|
Posted
I've often thought of creating a bumper sticker at Christmas time saying
Jesus is for life not just for Christmas.
What does everyone think? Has it already been thought of? Is it cheesy?
Posts: 58 | From: Sussex | Registered: Apr 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Dave P
stoned
# 2900
|
Posted
The Church of England had an advertising campaign last Christmas where it put up loads of posters saying, "The Church is for life not just for Christmas."
Close to your idea. I suppose you could argue your theology is better though! (or is Jesus for eternity and the church just for life?)
--------------------
ne Holy Stone
Posts: 736 | From: brum | Registered: Jun 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Alan Cresswell
Mad Scientist 先生
# 31
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by auntbeast:
I have a Darwin fish and a Jesus fish nose to nose with a big silver heart painted over their noses.
Love it!
Alan
(still disappointed that the Darwin Fish is the wrong dimensions for an avatar ![[Frown]](frown.gif) )
--------------------
Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.
Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
|
Posted
'I don't have any fish on my bumper, only chips'
There used to be one years ago saying 'honk if you love Jesus' - fortunately for the noise abatement society, not many people did!
--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
splosh
Shipmate
# 2743
|
Posted
One that should be on a lot of drivers bumpers is:
Should I have stopped at the zebra crossing (especially as those school kids were trying to cross!)
Do not appreciate people attempting to knock me over as they are going too fast in a built up area ![[Flaming]](graemlins/angryfire.gif)
--------------------
Just remember you are one of God's special people
Posts: 1371 | From: Slightly less north than before | Registered: May 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Mad Geo
Ship's navel gazer
# 2939
|
Posted
Heres a few (some more arrogant than others):
Conspiracies aren’t.
Other people sometimes embrace their limitations. Let them.
Never mix up your areas of misunderstanding.
Government is the result of the worst properties of two parties.
My perception is your reality.
--------------------
Diax's Rake - "Never believe a thing simply because you want it to be true"
Posts: 11730 | From: People's Republic of SoCal | Registered: Jun 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
|
Posted
I had a nice fish which actually says "N Chips" inside it, on my back bumper, but I broke it off in a car wash. Gotta get me a new one. Got lots of great feedback.
Reader Alexis
--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Scarlet
Mellon Collie
# 1738
|
Posted
And I have a fish shaped carrot (in bright orange and green) on my bumper which says "Go Veg" inside.
And one I've seen that trumped all those horrid "My child is on the Honor Roll at Blah, Blah, Blah Elementary School" was:
"My child is in Detention at the Youth Camp"
--------------------
They took from their surroundings what was needed... and made of it something more.
—dialogue from Primer
Posts: 4769 | Registered: Nov 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
maleveque
Shipmate
# 132
|
Posted
My latest favorite bumper sticker, spotted on Michigan Ave, just next to the Catholic University of America:
What would Scoobey-Doo?
--------------------
Life isn't all fricasseed frogs and eel pie.
Posts: 1496 | From: Washington, DC or thereabouts | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
|
Posted
Maleveque, that's priceless.
Reader Alexis
--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ann
Curious
# 94
|
Posted
I was following a white van with a 'WWJD' fish. Underneath it was a sticker saying "Keep your distance."
--------------------
Ann
Posts: 3271 | From: IO 91 PI | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
aj
firewire technophobe
# 1383
|
Posted
So...has no-one else seen:
"My karma ran over my dogma" ?
Posts: 2994 | From: ...on location | Registered: Sep 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
|
Posted
Simon Mayo used it in a late night BBC programme a few years back. Wish I could remember the name - it was trying to be a bit like SoF on the telly. His sign-off was 'Goodnight - and don't let your karma run over your dogma'.
--------------------
*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
'Justus'
Shipmate
# 2424
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Holy-Stone:
The Church of England had an advertising campaign last Christmas where it put up loads of posters saying, "The Church is for life not just for Christmas."
Close to your idea. I suppose you could argue your theology is better though! (or is Jesus for eternity and the church just for life?)
Actually the CofE poster last Christmas ran:
"The Church is for Life not just for Christians".
We thought about doing Christmas, but Christians seemed to make the point even better.
There were three others (which we took a lot of stick for):
"Asylum Seekers ? Jesus, Mary & Joseph. Happy Christmas".
"Life Goe to pot ? Made a Hash of things ? Things not too E-asy? Love is the Drug".
"Body Piercing ? Jesus had his done 2,000 years ago".
We managed to get hate mail from as far away as New Mexico for that last one, especially given that we only produced a couple of hundred of the posters and they never went up anyweher else other than Birmingham.
Needless to say the target audience were "unchurched" youth, but a large number of Christian people (almost all outside the age range of the target audience)were very offended.
Getting back to car stickers I think there should be one for the elderly couple who refused to do above 15 mph on a 40 mph road, but just so happened to be in front of me this morning:
"My other car's a Zimmer frame".
Posts: 295 | From: York | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Beethoven
Ship's deaf genius
# 114
|
Posted
The driver we nearly 'encountered' last night should have had 'Just because I flash my lights at you doesn't mean I'm actually giving way'
--------------------
Who wants to be a rock anyway?
toujours gai!
Posts: 1309 | From: Here (and occasionally there) | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Bonzo
Shipmate
# 2481
|
Posted
When I die, I want 'Just Dead' on the back of the hearse and a few tin cans of course!
--------------------
Love wastefully
Posts: 1150 | From: Stockport | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Astro
Shipmate
# 84
|
Posted
When the RSPCA were running their "A dog is not just for Christmas" campaign I saw
"God is not just for Christmas"
--------------------
if you look around the world today – whether you're an atheist or a believer – and think that the greatest problem facing us is other people's theologies, you are yourself part of the problem. - Andrew Brown (The Guardian)
Posts: 2723 | From: Chiltern Hills | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
|
Posted
I always wanted a bumper sticker that showed a crucified plush bunny with a circle-and-slash and the legend, "The Easter Bunny Did Not Die For Your Sins." But I lacked the guts to make one.
Reader Alexis
--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
|
Posted
Mousethief - did you see The Onion's Easter bunnies childrens cut outs ( I think from last year ). They featured a fluffly bunny nailed to a cross, and a duck ginig out eggs - with a cross over its other shoulder. Very good.
If you want the files ( .gif's ) then drop me a line.
--------------------
Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Moo
Ship's tough old bird
# 107
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mousethief:
I always wanted a bumper sticker that showed a crucified plush bunny with a circle-and-slash and the legend, "The Easter Bunny Did Not Die For Your Sins." But I lacked the guts to make one.
Reader Alexis
This is heresy!
The Easter bunny is not made of plush. If he were, how could he hop around delivering all those eggs?
Moo
--------------------
Kerygmania host
---------------------
See you later, alligator.
Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
|
Posted
Moo, I figured crucifying a REAL bunny would be a little traumatic, either on me, the bunny, or both (for one thing their arms just don't move that way).
Reader Alexis
--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
|
Posted
True story
On Good Friday a few years ago I looked out of the kitchen window to see one of the farm cats come into the garden with a rabbit between its teeth. We all spent an anxious couple of days waiting to find out if it had been the bunny. ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
But back to bumber stickers. Is there any bumber sticker more utterly pointless than the one which say "Caution, show dogs in transit". Like, I'm not going to drive in to the back of you because I might upset your pampered pooch, whereas the idea that I might kill myself wouldn't stop me doing it.
--------------------
Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
|
Posted
I think, Chapelhead, the point of the "caution show dogs in transit" sticker might be to let you know that, should the car roll over and the doors pop open, you should keep your distance.
Alexis
--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Nightlamp
Shipmate
# 266
|
Posted
Ok ok the one I the one I hate second most of all
Baby on board
The one I really hate
Small person on board
what am I meant to do? drive close so I can see it!
Or is the whole reason to put a big sticker so you can't see out the back so you can cause an accident.
Stupid people
--------------------
I don't know what you are talking about so it couldn't have been that important- Nightlamp
Posts: 8442 | From: Midlands | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Dave the Bass
Shipmate
# 155
|
Posted
I once saw a dragster, looking like a formula 1 racing car but stretched to at least 20 feet long, with huge rear wheels, an enormous spoiler on the back, and a massive engine inside. As well as various sponsor's logos, it bore a sticker saying "my other car is a Skoda". The Skoda was parked nearby to confrim this fact.
Posts: 2162 | From: In a forest | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Moo:
This is heresy!
I love it. The Original "Orthodox Guy" is accused of heresy. ![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif)
happybear
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Not
Ship's Quack
# 2166
|
Posted
Nightlamp, you might like the one I saw recently, done up to look just like those evil yellow diamond shaped 'Baby on Board' ones
Bored with F****** Babies
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
--------------------
Was CJ; now Not
Posts: 600 | From: the far, far West | Registered: Jan 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
|
Posted
I had a friend who when we happened upon a car displaying the 'Baby on Board' diamond, would turn to me, and I to her (almost simultaneously). Then we would nod, and say: 'Ram it'.
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Beenster
Shipmate
# 242
|
Posted
Did anyone see Louis Theroux and his tour of religious folk and how he hooked up to a group who did "bumper sticker evangelism". The bumper sticker included a freefone number where the letters were something like the numbers for JESUS SAVES or other meaningful stuff. Anyway - there were about 37 people driving around evangelising in this way - and so the leader decided to have a rally of all these good evangelising folk.
I think about 2 cars were present
scary stuff.
Posts: 1885 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ham'n'Eggs
Ship's Pig
# 629
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Nightlamp:
Ok ok the one I the one I hate second most of all
Baby on board
The one I really hate
Small person on board
what am I meant to do? drive close so I can see it!
Or is the whole reason to put a big sticker so you can't see out the back so you can cause an accident.
Stupid people
Most people seem to be unaware of the actual purpose of these signs (but then most UK drivers appear to be stupid full stop).
In the case of an emergency crew approaching a mangled heap of wreckage, they will normally be on the lookout for adult casualties. The presence of these signs alerts them to the fact that there is probably a small body (possibly alive) to account for, so they need to take extra precautions with cutting gear etc.
(Actually, this has just highlighted incipient egocentrism on the part of all shipmates who think that these signs are addressed to them! ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif) )
--------------------
"...the heresies that men do leave / Are hated most of those they did deceive" - Will S
Posts: 3103 | From: Genghis Khan's sleep depot | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ham'n'Eggs
Ship's Pig
# 629
|
Posted
(Damn - too subtle again! For those who may have missed it, the last sentence of the previous post was self directed irony.)
--------------------
"...the heresies that men do leave / Are hated most of those they did deceive" - Will S
Posts: 3103 | From: Genghis Khan's sleep depot | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
In Theory
Ship's supernova simulator
# 2964
|
Posted
Seen in a bumper-sticker sale in the US:
The Christian Right is neither.
--------------------
Popular culture no longer applies to me.
~ Art Brut
Posts: 1167 | From: Sheffield | Registered: Jun 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ham'n'Eggs:
The presence of these signs alerts ,the emergency serices> to the fact that there is probably a small body (possibly alive) to account for, so they need to take extra precautions with cutting gear etc.
And in the case of the 'show dogs' signs, to take very special care to avoid mussing up the delicate bouffant hair-dos of the pampered pooches - these are show dogs, after all.
--------------------
Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Printer-friendly view
