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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Hell: On my gravestone it will say .........
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
Nowhere near as funny as he thought he was.
Pyx_e
or (can't remember who said this first) Told you I was ill.
[ 10. March 2003, 00:41: Message edited by: Erin ]
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Dave the Bass
Shipmate
# 155
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
or (can't remember who said this first) Told you I was ill.
It was the late Spike Milligan, and I was going to suggest it! ![[Mad]](mad.gif)
How about 'Don't try this at home'
Posts: 2162 | From: In a forest | Registered: May 2001
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Buttons
Shipmate
# 2108
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Posted
Mine should probably read
'It seemed like a good idea at the time'
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It all depends what you mean by alright of course.
Posts: 137 | From: The bottom of a biscuit tin | Registered: Jan 2002
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Hull Hound
Shipmate
# 2140
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Posted
"nothing to see here"
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ahhh ... Bisto!
Posts: 1167 | From: Hull | Registered: Jan 2002
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Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2
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Posted
I think Robert Frost said it best:
And were an epitaph to be my story
I'd have a short one ready for my own.
I would have written of me on my stone:
I had a lover's quarrel with the world.
And he did.
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Commandment number one: shut the hell up.
Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001
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Moo
Ship's tough old bird
# 107
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Posted
Erin, I always thought it was, I had a lover's quarrel with life.
Moo
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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.
Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001
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Black Dog
Shipmate
# 2344
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Posted
here lies .... ......
And he's bloody annoyed!
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The difference between love and comfort is that comfort is more reliable and true. Brutal and mocking but always there it is a crutch for enmity's saddest glare.
Posts: 453 | Registered: Feb 2002
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Hooker's Trick
Admin Emeritus and Guardian of the Gin
# 89
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Posted
I hope they have martinis in heaven.
Posts: 6735 | From: Gin Lane | Registered: May 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Rock of Ages cleft for me.
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Sigmund
Shipmate
# 3002
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Posted
Fat, bald git. C'mon gimme something to work with here.
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We have no money so we shall have to think.
Rutherford
Posts: 212 | From: somewhere in England | Registered: Jul 2002
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Scot
Deck hand
# 2095
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Posted
Gravestone? I don't plan to have one.
I will be stuffed, mounted and auctioned on Ebay. The proceeds will be donated to a worthy cause.
scot
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“Here, we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it.” - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 9515 | From: Southern California | Registered: Jan 2002
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RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Scot:
I will be stuffed, mounted and auctioned on Ebay. The proceeds will be donated to a worthy cause.
You know, I DO have this rather empty corner in the den... I'll start the bidding at a Loonie. Do you think you'll be hard to dust?
I, personally, have no intention of dying. It's been done to -er, <wince> Sorry.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
Leg pulling hat on
Fr G "Lord have mercy." ....... in an orthodox way.
Leg pulling hat off
P
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Miss High Jinks
Shipmate
# 3048
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Posted
Mine would say:
Beneath this sod
Lies another
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
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I'll leave this space blank
Posts: 71 | From: NW London | Registered: Jul 2002
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Clay_Pigeon
Mathematics
# 2516
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Posted
"I'm sorry, Troy's not here right now. Please leave a message by the tombstone and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks a bunch!"
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THAT'S IT! NOW I'M PISSED!. You're so off my prayer list.
-Was Once Troy
Posts: 599 | From: Northeast Ohio | Registered: Mar 2002
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Alan Cresswell
Mad Scientist 先生
# 31
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Posted
Going straight to Heaven. Already served my time in Purgatory.
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Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.
Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001
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dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
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Posted
Now that I'm dead I have been buried upside down so the world can kiss my arse! ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
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Saint Osmund
Pontifex sariburiensis
# 2343
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Posted
Nice one Dolphy. ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
How about:
"I'm not dead, really. It's an optical illusion. Aren't I good?"
x
Posts: 2965 | From: here | Registered: Feb 2002
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Yo-Yo
Shipmate
# 2541
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Scot:
I will be stuffed, mounted and auctioned on Ebay. The proceeds will be donated to a worthy cause.
Can we start bidding now?
I always dreamed I'd be laid to rest in Westminster Abbey. I'll be resting in a see-through coffin with "in case of emergency break glass" printed above it. ![[Sunny]](graemlins/flowerface.gif)
The other route is to copy Jeremy Bentham and have yourself pickled and sat at the head of the table somewhere - the cabinet room in Downing Street would be fun. ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
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"The purpose of life... is to love whoever is around to be loved." - Kurt Vonnegut jnr
Posts: 371 | From: XS | Registered: Mar 2002
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Iestyn
Shipmate
# 2422
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Posted
I know that some of my friends would like to put:
"Died in March, buried in August. Sorry, he was a Viola Player"
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"And we'll be singing Hymns and Arias, Hen wlad fy nhadau, Ar hyd y nos"
Posts: 177 | From: South Wales | Registered: Mar 2002
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Beethoven
Ship's deaf genius
# 114
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Posted
She was full of good intentions - and we all know where they lead...
![[Eek!]](eek.gif) ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif)
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Who wants to be a rock anyway?
toujours gai!
Posts: 1309 | From: Here (and occasionally there) | Registered: May 2001
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Scot
Deck hand
# 2095
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
You know, I DO have this rather empty corner in the den... I'll start the bidding at a Loonie. Do you think you'll be hard to dust?
Thank you for your interest RooK. I would have been hard to dust, but since I shaved my beard last weekend I expect to attract less dust.
Information for bidders -
Bidding will not formally open until my actual demise. The reason for this is that as a heterosexual male I prefer not to be stuffed or mounted at this time. However, pre-bidding is encouraged. I may opt to set a "Buy It Now" option for this auction if I can work out what my wife would take for me.
scot
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“Here, we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it.” - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 9515 | From: Southern California | Registered: Jan 2002
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Yo-Yo
Shipmate
# 2541
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Scot:
However, pre-bidding is encouraged. I may opt to set a "Buy It Now" option for this auction if I can work out what my wife would take for me.
I'd like to bid, but I'm actually interested in an immediate purchase. I just need to ask a few questions first:
Are you any good at ironing?
What do you cost in terms of up keep?
Do you have any allergies?
Any objections to sleeping in a shed?
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"The purpose of life... is to love whoever is around to be loved." - Kurt Vonnegut jnr
Posts: 371 | From: XS | Registered: Mar 2002
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
Scot : I'm thinking rigour mortis / hatstand
P
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Scot
Deck hand
# 2095
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Posted
Good idea, Pyx_e.
Depending on your instructions to the taxidermist there could also be a handy hook for your coat.
scot
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“Here, we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it.” - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 9515 | From: Southern California | Registered: Jan 2002
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
I like the one from the Silver Chair:
Though under earth and throneless now I be,
Yet while I lived, all earth was under me.
Which is true, in a sense, even if you're not a monarch.
Reader Alexis
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Scot
Deck hand
# 2095
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Posted
Thanks for your continued interest, David.
quote:
Are you any good at ironing?
Fair, but I am not much good with a wood. My putting is marginal.
quote:
What do you cost in terms of up keep?
I would expect that you could get by with touching up the varnish once a year, and perhaps slapping on a coat of bottom paint every other year.
quote:
Do you have any allergies?
Only to the aforementioned stuffing and mounting.
quote:
Any objections to sleeping in a shed?
Why would I start objecting now?
By the way, my wife has indicated that since she has no idea what I'm good for, she has no idea what to charge for me. I'm not sure what that means...
scot
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“Here, we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it.” - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 9515 | From: Southern California | Registered: Jan 2002
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
"Now available in hologram version".
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28
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Posted
"god knows i tried"
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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!
Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001
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sharkshooter
Not your average shark
# 1589
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Posted
He's in heaven now. Get on with your lives.
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Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. [Psalm 19:14]
Posts: 7772 | From: Canada; Washington DC; Phoenix; it's complicated | Registered: Oct 2001
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The Midge
Shipmate
# 2398
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Posted
Here lies Rhyzome.
2002 to
Don't worry about Him
He prefers to be underground!
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Some days you are the fly.
On other days you are the windscreen.
Posts: 1085 | Registered: Feb 2002
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tomb
Shipmate
# 174
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Posted
"Go Away and Leave Me Alone. And Don't Piss on My Rock. I Paid Too Much For It."
Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001
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Blue
Shipmate
# 3067
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Posted
Now Blue and fluffy
or
What do you think you're staring at?
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D. Blue Esq.
Posts: 113 | From: sunk without trace | Registered: Jul 2002
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Hull Hound
Shipmate
# 2140
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Rhyzome:
Here lies Rhyzome.
2002 to
Don't worry about Him
He prefers to be underground!
It is best not to compost a hardy rhyzome. Simply incinerate to avoid it popping up through the earth.
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ahhh ... Bisto!
Posts: 1167 | From: Hull | Registered: Jan 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I once asked my (soon-to-be) ex this question, and he said "'What are you looking at?!'"
![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
I myself plan to be cremated. Or Creamora'd, if my friends don't object.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Bonzo
Shipmate
# 2481
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Posted
quote:
I will be stuffed, mounted and auctioned on Ebay
Scott, I have often wanted to tell you to get stuffed!
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Love wastefully
Posts: 1150 | From: Stockport | Registered: Mar 2002
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Scot
Deck hand
# 2095
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Posted
Thank you for your interest, Bonzo.
If you are the successful bidder, you will have the opportunity to stuff whatever you want, where ever you want.
Happy bidding!
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“Here, we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it.” - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 9515 | From: Southern California | Registered: Jan 2002
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Hull Hound
Shipmate
# 2140
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Posted
Scot, in a just society we would all get a piece of you
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ahhh ... Bisto!
Posts: 1167 | From: Hull | Registered: Jan 2002
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Yo-Yo
Shipmate
# 2541
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Posted
Scot, would it be possible to get you on a two week trial? I can provide an address if your wife would like to invoice me.
Getting back to the gravestone thingy, apparently Billy Connelly's plan is to have a large concrete slab laid over his grave.
His epitaph will be printed in very small font, slap bang in the middle so visitors will have to clamber on top and get very close to read: "you're kneeling on my balls". ![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif)
[Too many ons.]
[ 28 July 2002, 19:50: Message edited by: sarkycow ]
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"The purpose of life... is to love whoever is around to be loved." - Kurt Vonnegut jnr
Posts: 371 | From: XS | Registered: Mar 2002
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dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Dorothy's Friend:
Actually, I'm going to buried at sea so that I can have the last laugh on all those who threatened to dance on my grave.
Nice one!!!!!
[I don't know why I bothered but the UBB code for a smilie was messed up]
[ 26 July 2002, 12:52: Message edited by: Nightlamp ]
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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
"Can someone post on the ship, cos I know they will be worried".
Far too sad really ....
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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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Scot
Deck hand
# 2095
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Hull Hound:
Scot, in a just society we would all get a piece of you
Yes Hull Hound, but in a rational society, you have to pay for the privilege!
Happy bidding!
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“Here, we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it.” - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 9515 | From: Southern California | Registered: Jan 2002
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Equinas
Shipmate
# 2907
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Posted
Under the mercy.
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Linda
Posts: 567 | From: Deep South, USA | Registered: Jun 2002
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Hull Hound
Shipmate
# 2140
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Scot:
quote:
Originally posted by Hull Hound:
Scot, in a just society we would all get a piece of you
Yes Hull Hound, but in a rational society, you have to pay for the privilege!
Happy bidding!
- touché -
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ahhh ... Bisto!
Posts: 1167 | From: Hull | Registered: Jan 2002
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Rossweisse
High Church Valkyrie
# 2349
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Posted
Life is a series of trade-offs.
Rossweisse // who plans to be cremated, but...
Posts: 15117 | From: Valhalla | Registered: Feb 2002
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
David Carrington suspiciously typed:
"Scot, would it be possible to get on you on a two week trial?"
There must be a typo or a superfluous 'on' in there...
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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